It’s often said that “a mother’s work is never done.” There are multiple ways to see this sentiment. Either Mother never does her work, or Mother always has a task that needs doing, or perhaps that Mother is a mother no matter the age of her children. The first interpretation gives a negative and lazy […]
What a Mother Wants Most! Read More »
“I like Dad better than Mom,” I said to my younger brother one sunny afternoon while sitting on the back of our rusty old Suburban. The moment I said that I knew that just a few weeks prior I was telling him that I liked Mom better than Dad. I knew I had changed my
The Battle Hymn of a Just Parent Read More »
No matter the amount of technology that’s developed to filter devices in order to keep children from viewing objectionable material, the mental, physical and spiritual risks of digital devices facing children have never been greater. Note: In this article I’m using the word “phone” liberally to mean all digital devices that are in regular use
How Many Times Do We Have to Talk About the Phone? Read More »
“You never can tell with bees,” said A.A. Milne’s cherished character Winne-the-Pooh. This was Pooh Bear’s naive way of saying he didn’t understand why bees did the things they did. He made his best guesses, but he always seemed to guess wrong and find himself in a prickled gorse bush — instead of feasting on
Trade Time for Anger: Find Calmness and Patience Read More »
“Yesterday my 8 year old was grumpy when asked to do something, so he earned a negative consequence. I asked him to choose a job from the job jar.I explained that the job would help him change his heart.He then got very cheerful and said he was sorry for being grumpy… and wanted to be allowed to not do the job because he had changed (after all, he reasoned, the attitude was the reason for the extra job).
Always Stay Consistent with Consequences Earned Read More »
Reaching a child’s heart is vital for awakening his conscience and morally training him to desire to make good choices, but structure also has a part to play in training the heart. This is a true story, and a new parenting lesson, of how to help a person understand the truths behind your teachings. Structure
How to Reach the Heart of Your Child… and Yourself Read More »
In a world full of sexual depravity, diverse addictions, familial dysfunction, lascivious social platforms, manipulative media, and irate people of all ages, is it possible to even hope for our children to have an innocent upbringing? A routine trip through a store like Walmart, for example, can start a child’s brain processing in sexual and
The Illusion of Innocence Facing Today’s Children Read More »
There is an international parent/child bonding problem. The world has never seen a global lack of parent/child attachment like this before. Of course, there are factors leading to this detachment, factors that the world has also never seen before. Are we experimenting on our families and children and calling it good leadership? Have we given
What Is Destroying Family Bonding? Read More »
My son, Porter, loves to visit a restaurant near our home named “Porter’s Place”. Recently our family was eating there around a big round table and one of the children said, “Dad, tell us that story from your childhood about the fire you shouldn’t have started in the field near your home.” At this point
10 Ways to Create Stories That Unite Us Read More »
It might seem unusual to share this personal letter publicly, but I felt many mothers and fathers could relate. My two oldest children have recently left from home. The combination of those events, the ongoing negative messaging about motherhood and families, as well as a few positive events (like the upcoming Mom’s March), inspired me
A Letter of Hope From a Mother To Her Children Read More »
This is the time of year the focus of the world is on education and preparing our children to learn and grow toward success. We enroll the children in classes, schools, programs and activities in hopes they will get an education to prepare them for the future. Is our current educational plan adequate for the
Lest We Forget: The Vision of Educating Young People Read More »
“Mom, I think I’m in a phase where I just want to dress comfortable instead of cute. For the last couple of weeks, I don’t even think about dressing nice,” said Londyn, my 15-year-old daughter who has an eye for style, and who always looks good. “Do you think it’s really a phase?” I asked.
Is That Behavior a Phase or a Warning Sign? Read More »
Bethany, a troubled parent, recently shared a shocking story that all too often illustrates what parents nowadays are dealing with: “After we caught our 11-year-old son sending pornographic photos of himself to strangers on Snapchat, we took his phone away. We told him he could have it back in a couple of weeks, but that
Modern Times Call for Pioneering Parenting Read More »
For years I’ve heard adults complain about how disrespectful teenagers are with a tone that suggests the teenagers should fix their problem. I found myself wondering if it was really totally the teenagers’ problem, and if it was possible for teenagers to fix the culture of disrespect all alone. After many years of helping families
Can Teenagers Conquer the Culture of Disrespect Alone? Read More »
Is your teenaged child not getting everything done that they need to in the day? Are they slacking off on their duties and assignments? I had a mother present me with a similar situation, concerned about her 16-year-old son and his lack of productivity. She couldn’t quite determine whatwas going on and wanted some advice.
Freedom Without Consequences Read More »
“He’s not breathing really well, and they tell us he’ll likely die in a day or two…” a mother was explaining to a group of adults about her father-in-law, and her young son’s grandpa. Her son was sitting in an adjacent room with his good friend, but he wasn’t playing as his mother likely thought
10 Thoughts Children Have That Might Surprise Parents Read More »
One night, after my parents left to go on a date, my brother and I started fighting. I vividly remember the fight getting to the point where both of us were standing on a couch threatening each other with broomsticks. This sad memory changed me. Many times over the years I’ve had that memory return,
6 Steps for Making Siblings Friends, Not Foes Read More »
Even though there’s violence dotting the globe, the largest battle of our day isn’t physical. It’s a war of words. All these words are supposed to lead the listeners to truth. Often the talk feels cheap even though the claim is each new idea, paradigm and argument is the most valuable. Is this word war
Truth Be Told…Influence of Family is Astounding! Read More »
The other day I was attending a very heated legislative committee meeting in Utah where changes to the way state school teachers teach about sexual health were proposed. I recognized someof the legislators were not acknowledging the real solution to the problems facing teenagers. Debate and public comments on the proposed changes went on for
Solutions for Today’s Teenage Sexual Problems Read More »
Recently a woman who was asking for my advice said, “My 10-year-old son, Benjamin, will not do what I say. I know he hears me but he just ignores me when I talk to him. How can I get him to listen to me? I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but it’s like his
Teaching Your Child to Listen to You, Every Time Read More »
In the United States we have a new president. Some people are elated about this and others are sorrowing. Regardless of where each of us is on this spectrum of election emotions, change is in the air. Change is difficult for all of us, but especially for children. Not only are the children of the
Helping Children Feel Secure in an Emotional and War-Ridden World Read More »
It’s difficult to know what other people are processing about a situation or experience. Parents often assume they know the thoughts of their children, but sometimes they don’t. Each child is so unique, and their view of a situation is unique to them too. This is a story about a young girl we’ll call Megan.
13-Year-Old Girl Changes Lives by Changing Her Heart Read More »
Parents painstakingly teach morals, principles, values and good judgment to their growing children in hopes that their virtues will be protected and their standards upheld throughout their lives. Yet, day after day youth are tested in social situations. Sometimes they stumble as they compare their values and morals to the world’s ever-changing social standards and
How to Help Your Children Keep Your Standards When They’re Away From Home Read More »
“Porter, you’re being whiny and you need to stop it,” said Spencer, my husband, in exasperation one evening. He had just treated the children to a day of fun times and snacks, and even purchased souvenir T-shirts for them. Spencer had had enough. The funny thing was that Porter’s whiny moment was the first occurrence
Recipe for How to Raise an Unspoiled Child Read More »
“Let’s stay at home for a while,” suggested my children after a month full of fun day trips, camping trips and cousin time. Even though they love all of these activities and seem to be able to go forever, they do need time at home too. While discussing our August schedule at a family council
The Best Activity Place for Children Read More »
“Perhaps I shouldn’t even tell people about this because it’s probably bad, but I just felt I had to do it,” said a friend of mine shortly after a trip with her four-year-old son to the gas station. My friend — we’ll call her Joanna — is a hip, young mother of two small children
Teaching Children Respect Just Got Easier! Read More »
While swimming with my family one day the calmness of our pool experience was interrupted by one very loud, very stressed mother. If only this mother was able to see the hearts of her children and everyone else in the pool area. If she could have taken a moment to do just one simple skill
1 Skill To Improve Calmness For The Whole Family Read More »
“There is no substitute for hard work.” (Thomas Edison) Years ago, when I was planning a Teaching Self-Government trip to China, a good friend of mine said, “Nicholeen, what are you going to tell parents in China who don’t understand why their child should earn an extra chore? Most parents don’t have their children do
4 Ways to Help Children Enjoy Chores and Become Good Workers Read More »
High-functioning Autism/Asperger’s can cause children to have a hard time focusing on the task at hand. Simple tasks often becomehour-long undertakings,ending up with parent andchild frustrated and angry.
Helping Children With Asperger’s To Stay Focused Read More »
While sitting at an airport I saw a darling girl, maybe age 14, sitting on a different row of seats than the rest of her family. The parents and brother were talking and trying to engage her in their activities and conversation, but she was in her own little world and would not participate. For
6 Digital Dangers & Sensible Solutions for Families Read More »
When I was about thirteen years old I was perfectly molded in the opinions of the current society. I had my life all planned out, and was sure that my plans were socially pleasing to all of my friends. I was also sure that my plans would ensure that I wouldn’t turn out like my
Mother’s Day Miracle: My Story Read More »
What will your youth think about self-government when you finally get it all working? This movie tells. Weston, age 15 talks about his father’s transformation and what he sees his future life being like now that his father learned self-government. This video brings me to tears. It is so inspiring I had to share it
Video: 15 Year Old Boy Honors Dad As Hero For Learning Self-Government Read More »
Generally, most parents want their children to have good social skills. They want them to be well liked and to be kind, respectful communicators. Unfortunately, some of these very well-meaning parents might actually be destroying the child’s ability to become this kind, respectful and socially mature person, and they don’t even know they are doing it.
How Parents Sabotage Their Children Socially Read More »
What is a teacher or parent to do when they have a group of troublesome toddlers or cheeky children? They don’t stay in their chairs, they crawl all over the carpet when they are supposed to be listening to a lesson, they talk out of turn and to each other, they don’t participate, and they
Give Me 5! – Obedience Chart For Class Settings Or Group Teaching Read More »
“Quin, you left a mess in the bathroom! Clean it!” called Paije from the mini bathroom in our comfy travel trailer. “No, you take care of it.” said Quin. “Get in here and clean your mess!” “I’ll do it tomorrow.” he replied without emotion. At this point, with an attitude problem Paije began to describe
Problem Solving Practice While Camping Read More »
“What do I do about my child? She will not leave my side. I know I should love her attention and affection, but she is smothering me. I can’t do anything without her hanging and clinging onto me. Me and my husband can’t even go on dates because she makes such a fuss. Am I spoiling her? Some people have said that this must be why she won’t leave me. She is 20 months old.”
This is a great question! So many families experience what you have just analyzed. There is hope for your daughter and the solution might surprise you.
The Clingy Child Cure: From Clingy To Confident Read More »
Have your children ever been disobedient? Obedience is an importantaspect in the home. It creates unity and brings happiness. But not all people are willing to give it easily. What has to be in place for someone to want to willingly obey?
Obedience: What And How? Read More »
Have you ever made a decision that didn’t seem quite logical, to you or other people, but you felt it was the right thing to do?Listen to this audio clip!
Making Logical Parenting Choices Read More »
In James Madison’s essay “Property” it says, “…a man has a property in his opinions and the free communication of them. “He has a property of peculiar value in his religious opinions, and in the profession and practice dictated by them…” This is a piece of the philosophy of the founding of the United States.
Five Ways To Protect The Consciences Of Our Children Read More »
My father used to always say, “Master your mother tongue and you will make a mark upon the world that will be noticed.” This advice changed my life. I am still not perfectly articulate, but it is always on my mind.
“Master Your Mother Tongue”: Building Character Read More »
“Nicholeen, how do I help my son stop attention seeking? He is nine years old and has to be the center of attention. At scouts, school and church he blurts things out when other people are talking and when their not talking. He talks back to his teachers. He distracts other children too by yelling
Attention Seeking Cure: How To Teach Social Skills Read More »
An Intro to the Blog Below: I have been thinking a lot about honesty lately. My understanding of honesty has expanded and I have been touched in new ways I have never thought of it before. The world would have us believe that we need to appear strong and knowledge to others in order to
Effective Parenting
Recently my friend, David Perry, the renown film maker, invited me to his home to teach his family self-government. The Perrys have two active young boys ages five and three. They are quickly becoming self-government experts.
This is a recent video of Hudson, age three, explaining
Hudson The Great!- Video of 3 Year Old Learning Self-Government Read More »
I don’t know a parent who wouldn’t say, “My child is so smart!” We all recognize the intelligence our children possess. But, what about when they just can’t stop themselves from blurting out all that intelligence when Mom is on a phone call, or when adults are having a conversation? Interrupting is a sign of a thinker. Smart people interrupt.
Interrupting Porter – Child Behavior Problems Read More »
“Londyn,” fourteen year old Paije said. “You have to clean the griddle since you used it.”
Londyn replied with, “No, kitchen is your stewardship this week. You have to do it.”
“I had to wash the griddle when it was your stewardship, so you have to wash it now.” Paije countered.
“It’s Your Turn To Clean It!” – Problem Solving Steps Read More »
Awesome Success story of 20 month old boy doing Self-Government! If he can, anyone can! (audio recording from weekly Implementation Course Conference Call)
20 Month Old Learns Self-Government Read More »
Question – Chores And Allowances “Dear Nicholeen, My daughter is really struggling over money. She wants some pocket money big time so she’s telling me I have to give her money for doing chores or she won’t be motivated… She thinks she is hard done by and has fought her way out of every chore
Allowance For Kids & Kids Chores Read More »
Hopefully the moment you clicked the link to this article your computer gave you a warning that this article will have the word porn in it. That is a sign that you are trying to keep your family away from pornography by installing a security system and filter on your computer. That is a step
How to Quit Porn: A Spiritual Transformation Read More »
Over the years we have had a variety of Christmases. Some years we have had more money than other years, but no matter the income we have always felt like we wanted to give our children something which would encourage them to be creative. To create stories.
Stories are the bud of genius. They are the spring of inspiration.
Home Made Christmas Gifts For Kids Read More »
“…Everyone is selling something,” I said as I talked to a young girl one evening.
Her mother had just made a comment about how the outfit the girl was wearing was “too revealing” and so she would need to go change it. The fifteen year old girltilted her hip and rolled her eyes as she smirked at her mom. This smile meant, “I don’t care what you say.
Bodies For Sale! Teaching Modesty Read More »
When the end of the day comes I find myself looking forward to bedtime. My bedtime is always exciting to anticipate since all my days are usually purpose-filled and very busy. However, I also look forward to the time the children go to bed each night. I love my children, and our days are filled with joy and laughter, but that quiet time after they have gone to bed, and before I go to bed is a great treat too. The quiet times to think, ponder, write and read are some of the treasured moments of my days as well.
I have noticed that some nights I don’t have a good attitude at bedtime because I am craving my quiet time so much. On these nights I get a little bit selfish and don’t really want to
Children Need Sleep! ~ Getting Them To Bed Happy Read More »
I love working with and playing with my children. But, the crying game is a game I don’t play. Many children treat the crying behavior as if it is part of a game. They are able to go in and out of the crying game all day long whenever they see it can benefit them. Children often cry simply to get attention. I know it is hard for many parents to discern whether their child is seeking attention or not. Here is a true story which is meant to help clear up some of that confusion.
This past weekend at the Teaching Self-Government couple’s retreat this story was shared by one couple. And, their daughter was there to tell her side of the story too.
Pink Hair Lesson: One Family’s Story Read More »
Math is stressful! Some people get anxiety when they do math. In fact, I bet most people have felt anxious about one math concept or another over the years. Stretching the brain can be frustrating and can even hurt sometimes. One day my eight year old son, Porter, was doing his math. It was a
Hugs Make Math Easier! ~ Stress Relief Techniques Read More »
About 75 years ago, ten year old Tommy Monson had a Sunday School teacher only six years older than he was named Phyllis Bowden. Even though Phyllis was young, she knew the fundamentals of being a teacher to young children and took her role and responsibility seriously. So, when young Tommy became “quite fond of spit wads” Phyllis knew how to handle the problem. When Tommy wouldn’t stop his bad behavior Phyllis sent him to the bishop’s office to talk about the issue.
It Doesn’t Have To Be That Way: Role Reversal Read More »
Nicholeen, Your peaceful parenting methods obviously work so well with older children and troubled teenagers. But, I have a house full of little children. Each day I face terrible twos, three year old tantrums, and four year old tantrums. Can children this young learn to govern themselves too? Answer: How ToStopTantrums This article is NOT
Toddler Tantrums: Positive Parenting Solutions Read More »
Many parents wonder what to do about problems at school. Sometimes the best behavior therapy for classroom behaviorshappens at home. The video interview below discusses what parents can do about school related behavior problems.
Other parents want to know how to prepare their children for educational success. No matter what way you choose to educate children at your house, you will gain a lot from hearing this conversation between veteran teacher and college professor, Nicholas Pond, and homeschool mother, Nicholeen Peck, about school pro
School Problems? Making Your Child A Genius! Read More »
“But, what do you do when they are screaming, and it’s time to walk out the door?” a father asked me at a recent conference. “My strong willed three year old son is very difficult at those times.”
I looked at this wonderfully dedicated father, and felt his frustration. Who hasn’t felt the anxiety build when a child has a tantrum right when you are leaving for church or leaving for work?
Toddler Tantrums At The Most Inconvenient Times! Read More »
If you loved Londyn LaRae Says Okay, you will be excited to know that the second book in the Teaching Self-Government children’s series is almost here. It is in production right now and be available for pre-sale soon.
The release date is sheduled for November. Just in time for Christmas!
In this book, Londyn’s brother Porter whines and pouts whenever he gets a no answer or something doesn’t go his way. Everyone in the st
Announcing: “Porter Earns A Quarter” Read More »
Were there dangers for children back in the old days? Did parents worry about keeping their children safe from social ills like we do today?
Old Fashioned Solutions For Modern Day Parenting Problems Read More »
“I am not a teenager and here’s why…” said a group of youth one day during a discussion on the article by Dr. Michael Platt, The Myth Of The Teenager. One after one each of the group of fifteen or so youth declared why they were not or would not be teenagers.
Becoming A Youth: The Answer To Teenager Problems Read More »
One Sunday our family attended a rare, two hour long church meeting. My children are very used to sitting quietly through one hour church meetings, but sometimes they struggle a little bit on a two hour meeting.
About three quarters through the meeting this past Sunday my eight year old son asked if he could go to the bathroom.
Children Who Can’t Sit Still Cure: Problem Solving Activities Read More »
BJ Stober, family therapist and hostess of Family Voice Talk Radio, interviewed Nicholeen Peck on April 19, 2012 about strict parenting. This is a link to the audio/video version of the show.
Nicholeen discussed different ways to parent and how what to focus on in order to break bad parenting habits.
Be sure to listen for the 10 Things Parents Need To Know to teach their children self-government.
Interiew With Nicholeen Peck: Strict Parenting Read More »
Dealing with tantrums is the part of parenting which most parents dread. They hope their sweet little baby will not ever hit the toddler tantrum phase or the even worse teenage temper tantrum phase.
As a young mother, I was just as afraid of toddler tantrums as the next person.
Help My Out Of Control Kid!: How To Handle Temper Tantrums Read More »
A Mother’s Question About Building Self Esteem In Children
“Emma said to me at bedtime that she thinks that she’s ugly. I’m not exactly sure where she heard this since I’m always telling her how cute she is, but what would you say to your kids if they said that?”
Improving Self Esteem: How To Build Self Confidence In Children Read More »
“Mom, I’m going to go to Zack’s to play basketball. Is that okay?” Quinton, age fifteen, announced this morning.
I replied, “Quin, you have things to do here at home today, so I don’t think we will have time for friends until another day.”
Quin really wanted to go shoot hoops with his friend. What fifteen year old boy doesn’t?
How To Stop Getting Angry: Relaxation Breathing Techniques Read More »
Question:
“How do you stop children from back talking?”
Answer:
Children talking back, or sassing, to their parents seems to be a behavior many children experiment with. At different phases of development feelings of independence and intelligence emerge causing kids to talk back.
“HI Nicholeen. I have the biggest problem in implementing your method… when
you give a consequence but they refuse to do it…???then WHAT?? I can give
them all the jobs they “earned” but can’t make them do it… WHAT then???This
is my biggest difficulty in implementing what I think is an amazing method…
comments? suggestions???
How To Get Children To Behave Read More »
Good Kids Books:
“Do you have any book suggestions for helping my children learn to want to be obedient?”
Answer:
I was asked this question a couple of years ago, and it got me thinking. I couldn’t answer it. I didn’t know of any must have kids books which would teach children the kinds of self-government skills they need to be happy obedient children.
Good Childrens Books? A Must Have Book For Families! Read More »
A few years ago I noticed a new sign posted at our local swimming pool. The sign read, “Absolutely no cell phone use in the locker rooms!”
At first, when I saw the sign I felt like some of my rights had been taken away or something. It felt like I was being controlled.
Teenagers And Cell Phone Use: Warning! Read More »
“Nicholeen, I can’t seem to correct my 16 year old son without him getting upset. He rolls his eyes and looks away from me. He just seems to have a wall surrounding him that none of us can penetrate. I know I am not the calmest parent either, but there must be something I can say to get his attention or something.
Talking To Teenagers: Three Tips Read More »
“Nicholeen,
Can you share your family chore chart with us?”
My chore chart system is really quite easy. Over the years I have had different kinds of chore chart systems depending on the age of my child. I have had toddler chore charts, kid chore charts, and chore charts for teenagers.
Free Printable Chore Charts: For Children and Teenagers Read More »
Question:
“I just purchased your book online. I am excited to read it. I am a mother
of 3 boys, 16, 13, and 11. Years ago we got each boy his own alarm clock &
talked about being responsible for getting himself up in the morning. Since
Wii time in our home isn’t free for the taking, we told them that this would
be how they could earn Wii time, by setting their own alarm, getting up on
thei
Difficulty Waking Up Read More »
This video is hilarious, but also extremely educational for parents.
Funny Parenting: Eye Opening If You Look Deep! Read More »
(This article contains Nicholeen’s daily home and school schedule for this coming year & a video of how she makes a yearly plan forthe family.)
We have all heard the term “super mom” before. Some people have a positive association with the term. They think, “Wow, that lady is amazing. I want to be a super mom like her.” And, some have a negative association with the term.
Preparing For School With An Ex-Super Mom & My Homeschool Schedule Read More »
Last week I talked about how there are certain skills which are important to posess for social success. These skills are different from the self-government skills I teach in myParenting A House United
Social Success: Too Little Friend Time Part 2 Read More »
Can You Have Too Little Friend Time?
“ Importance of Child Development: Are Friends Essential? Part 1 Read More »
Last week I wrote an article which generated a lot of discussion called Can Too Much Friend Time Hurt Children? Since I received so many emails about the topic I feel it is important to address it again. Some people expressed thanks, and others confusion.
Too Much Friend Time Part 2: Making Confident Children Read More »
“Mrs. Peck, I am afraid I can’t believe in God.”
“What do you mean? How do you know?”
“I just don’t do things I should do and I do some things girls my age shouldn’t do…”
“What are you doing that you shouldn’t do?” I asked
“I just…spend my free time with two guys I don’t know…we just use facebook.
Keeping Teens Safe: The Internet Threat Read More »
Is it easier to tell children yes or no when they ask a question?
The answer to this question could depend on what kind of person you are.
Are the kind of parent who really likes to be in control of the goings on in the family and don’t like to be bothered with plans changing, outfits changing, or extra work for a new idea? If you are this kind of person you probably find it is easier to tell the children no when they ask to go play at a friends, finger paint, make cookies, or go swimming.
Yes Or No? ~Parent Choices Read More »
“I’ve been using the 4 basic skills with my children, ages 7 and 4. It has been such a help. Thank you, Nicholeen!
But I’m not sure what to do to help my 4 yo understand the concept of
disagree appropriately. It seems too complex for her. She will go
through the script and ask to dis. app. and do it, but she seems
genuinely confused that she doesn’t always get her way when she does
this. I try to let her get her way as much as possible when she
Accepting No After Disagreeing Appropriately Read More »
If you are tired of teenage attitudes and problems this is something you will want to know. www.iamnotateenager.com has a free book preview written by youth for teens. The book shows teenagers there is a different way to be. They can be “youth” instead. There is a difference.
Help For Teenagers: “I am NOT a teenager!” Read More »
A parent’s work isn’t limited to working with our own children. Sometimes we are in situations when we are in charge of other people’s children. Occasions where this most likely happens are at church, when friends come over, at clubs, in school settings, and on outings. These times are enjoyable, but can also be complete disasters.
Classroom Behavior Problems Read More »
Read about this amazing video on the next page! [video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEV-1UcyooQ&feature=player_embedded] Last week I asked for you to send me copies of some of the things you have done to implement Self-Government into your homes. The things I recieved were amazing! I can't wait until they are all available to you. In the mean time, take
Video: Two Year Old, Sam, Teaches The Four Basic Skills Read More »
“How do you parent a child who is red/yellow when you are a white/blue? My son and I are so entirely different and he’s so impulsive (almost destructive) that it completely shakes my world. I often find him sneaking downstairs and turning on the Wii (which we only permit on Friday and Saturday as a privilege).
Video Games Addiction: They Are Asking for Help Read More »
Cause and effect is learned more effectively when the consequences, positive and negative, are practiced first. The example below is geared toward a parent with a toddler, but the principles can be applied to all ages and situations which need to be practiced and understood more.
“My two year old daughter likes to hit. She hits me, she hits my husband and she even hit’s the baby. No matter what I do nothing seems to work. Reasoning doesn’t really work with a two year old, so I am at a loss for what to do about this. I know I need to do something.”
Practicing The Right Way: Cause And Effect Parenting For Toddlers Who Hit And Others Read More »
Many people ask me when they should start teaching their children self government skills. It is never too early to start talking in a deliberate, describing way or to teach the word “okay.” Even the words “disagree appropriately” can be understood by most youngsters. My little almost 3 year old just asked if she could
Parenting Three Year Olds: They Really Understand Read More »
Teenage Attitude Problems Read More »
If you have ever had a baby, you know how hard feeding time can be.
I just had my 3rd baby and my oldest is turning 3 in a week and a half. This means that nursing the baby has become one of the most stressful times for me. I’ve been wondering to myself how I will ever stay sane if I can’t properly deal with the issues of the older 2 every time I nurse.
I love your idea of reading to the older kids while nursing the baby. I’ll try that one next time Zeke needs to eat.
Thanks for sharing this great advice.
I remember those years nursing and having toddlers. Those are hard times!!! There just aren’t enough arms and your thoughts get all jumbled up because of the noise and stress of it all. Obviously you should try to keep as calm as you can for the milk to be good and calming for the baby. I also know that is easier said than done.
How Do I Nurse A Baby And Handle The Rest Of The Children Too? Read More »
My two youngest children are best friends, and play a lot with each other. It is so fun to see them enjoy each other. This summer we have noticed that they are getting a bit too much play lately though. The sun comes up and someone is at our door asking to play. The children do their chores and run outside. They would stay there day after day, all day, if I didn’t ever call them in.
The other day my husband and I noticed some very distracted behaviors. My six year old was showing off a lot and acting a lot more “crazy” than usual. He was also trying to be the “funny guy” by popping off. We looked at each other and both knew something needed to change
Too Much Play Time?-Solving the Boredom Problem Read More »
“I came across your ideas on the LDSEHE website, and have been so inspired by all of it. I’m starting to read your book, hoping to fill in a few holes. I really like your idea for Friday family movie nights as your one source of TV. How do you make selections for that night? Do you have a list of movies you would recommend?”
You are right. We have a family TV watching policy to help our family not get bound by television. Our policy is that we don’t watch TV unless it is a movie on Friday family movie night.
Family TV Watching: Parenting Tip Read More »
Can parents actually be too soft? Isn’t love and affection always the answer? If a parent isn’t being soft aren’t they being angry? I often have parents ask me about children who are really emotional. They say things like, “…she is really sensitive.” or “…he has a tender heart.” I know there are different personalities
Brave Parenting: Being Too Soft Read More »
My children have started a fun new game this Summer thanks to a very creative friend. They play camping. Their friend found lots of old odds and ends around the house and garage and loaded them into his wagon and brought them over to play. The children loved it so much, they play it every
Summer Fun for the Children; and the Parents Too! Read More »
My father used to always say, “Master your mother tongue and you will make a mark upon the world that will be noticed.” This advice changed my life. I am still not perfectly articulate, but it is always on my mind.
“Master Your Mother Tongue”: Building Character Read More »
“My two oldest boys, ages 8 and 7 are really giving me a run………..I know that if I stay strong, it will all pay off.
We have a family mission statement, we have a job jar, we have been roll playing. They know what our “standards” are.
My 7 year old has had discipline “issues” for 1 and 1/2 weeks consistently every morning during “school time”. He gets so frustrated with me when I calmly let him know that he earned another “consequence” I make sure and tell him that I love him and I wish that he could join us for privileged free time. He assures me that he will try harder but the same things keep happening over and over. He is 7 and very wiggly and dreamy, and distracted. He even has been swearing which is NOT our family standard! I try to explain to him that if he has good control over his body and mouth during school time, he will earn privileges, but he just doesn’t learn…………Any tips?”
It sounds like you are doing pretty well at creating an environment for self-government in your home.
I hope your son is doing better now. If not read pages 66-69 in my book Parenting A House United. I am guessing you have it. This section goes over motivation for children who get themselves in a rutt.
Negative Consequence Rutt: Parenting Tips Read More »
I have attended your classes at home school conferences and bought the mp3;s. I am currently purchasing your book, however, I am in crisis. I have a 17 rd old son that has been homeschooled since fourth grade. We originally took him out due to severe depression. This is something he struggles with. He has always done well in school. He went to the public high school for his freshman year. He was top of the class academically but he hated every minute of it and we allowed him to come back to home school for the past two years.
About six months ago I could see that he was clinically depressed and we found a counselor to help us through that. It turns out he was introduced to pornography at school and became addicted and the guilt has caused him to lose about a year of his life. We are dealing with this issue and he is doing very well and continues to receive counseling with us.
The crisis is that he cant make a decision about anything in his life and he seems to have no self control. He wants us to tell him every little thing to do and takes no responsibility. He takes 8 hours to do simple science due to the fact that if I walk out of his earshot he will immediately waste time doing anything else. It is so frustrating that we have to literally babysit him and that he needs us to. I am at my wits end with him and feel like throwing in the towel and sending him to boarding school. Of course, my rational mind knows that I must clean up this mess with him and no one else.
Can you please give me some direction on how to get this kid to take back his life and not put us in the position of jailers.
Depressed Teenager: Hope For Happiness Read More »
Sometimes I get some stories sent to me which simply must be shared. I would love to share one with you today. This is a great family meeting success story which had me sweating for a few seconds:
We even had an emergency family council the
other day. The kids didn’t really believe me that I was waiting for them to
come up with a solution. I told them that I was pretty sure that the
situation wasn’t going to change because I was the one paying the price. So
after I realized my mistake, I called the council to change that. Finally
one of the kids said, “Well, ten lashes then.” I asked for other
suggestions and there weren’t any
Family Meetings :Parenting Tips Read More »
“I do struggle and maybe you could give me some advice. I spend quite a bit of time with my kids in the morning going over little activities like school workbooks and story time and exercising together. Yet the minute I get on the phone or sit down to nurse the baby, the three boys are arguing or fighting or taking toys from each other or something of the sort. I have tried to get them to color or do a certain activity together, but that only lasts so long. It’s hard to discipline when you are nursing the baby.
I know I have a bit of post-pardom and always feel like I am always nursing the baby or disciplining my children. I have felt discouraged with my 3 boys behavior and realize some of their actions comes from mom spending so much time with the new little one. Do you have any tips or suggestions for me on how to best help teach my boys and solve the problems.”
J You hit a common discipline problem right on the head. I would like to meet a mother who can have a 30 minute phone conversation and not have things fall apart a little bit. My one hopeful thought to you is that as they grow, they learn to live without you for 30 minutes, or more. 😉
Nursing a baby is also a hard one. I have been there too.
“Mom is on the phone” ~Discipline Problem Read More »
As I go around the country teaching parenting seminars and trying to help parents make healthy changes in their family relationships, I notice there are two things which get asked the most.
1. What do you do for attitude problems?
2. How do you stop tantrums?
I an not going to expound on tantrums today, but I will say that attitude problems are just tantrums at a different level. The difference between the two are that tantrums usually happen when a person is small and they often include uncontrolled body movements and crying, and attitude problems are usually mostly verbal with abrasive body language. Attitude problems are usually more controlled than tantrums. Both tantrums and attitude problems are signs of frustration, anxiety and lack of healthy communication skills.
I am pretty confident talking about attitude problems, because I was the attitude problem queen of my house when I was in my teen years. I think my poor parents earned all their gray hairs during my attitude problem years. Luckily, I had a very insightful young women’s leader who saw my problem and wasn’t afraid to tell me how to change.
Great Advice
One day I was at her home telling her daughter that my parents wouldn’t let me go to a youth party because they
The Dreaded Attitude Problem Read More »
I found Character, by Samuel Smiles in ebook format for free. So cool! Here’s the link if you want to pass it along: http://www.gutenberg.org/files/2541/2541-h/2541-h.htm#2HCH0011
Character Book: Must Read Read More »
