By Nicholeen Peck When Stress Takes Over the Brain Cortisol is real — and powerful. When stress floods the brain with cortisol, it’s almost impossible to think clearly. Logic fades, emotions heighten, and even small worries can spiral into thought loops that feel too big to handle. Everyone has moments when their mind seems to […]
Choosing Calmness: How to Calm Your Thoughts Before They Control You Read More »
By Nicholeen Peck Challenges happen to us all. But as Russell M. Nelson said, “Success has less to do with the circumstances of your life, and more to do with the focus of your life.” What we choose to focus on has the power to shape not only how we see our circumstances but also
The Contagious Cycle of Thankfulness Read More »
by Nicholeen Peck Four years ago, I wrote an article about having calmness during the election no matter what the outcome was. It was my intention to help people to choose calmness and see each other as people instead of opposition, even if they saw things differently politically. The surprising result of that article was
Loving Life and Seeing Good Days Despite Disappointment Read More »
by Nicholeen Peck History is full of inspirational examples of those who paid the price for freedom, for God, for family, and for love. Oftentimes this price/personal sacrifice was made for others who had never been met or who were still young children. How many fathers and mothers have moved their families, fought in wars,
They Paid The Price Read More »
by Nicholeen Peck In the past week, I’ve received multiple apology texts from friends related to a variety of topics. Two apology texts stick out to me more than the others. One apology was clearly for social posturing. The person was sending it because they knew that they looked bad to others and didn’t want
“I’m Sorry” Shows A Lot Read More »
by Nicholeen Peck This year at the Commission on the Status of Women [CSW], at the United Nations , the topic of discussion was finding solutions for global poverty. While some of the family and motherhood organizations came up with good solutions for teaching entrepreneurialism, networking, and developing life skills through training programs and micro-lending
Marriage, Motherhood, and the Destructive Intersectional Lens Read More »
by Nicholeen Peck Let’s Celebrate! June 1st, the Global Day of Parents, is dedicated to celebrating the impact that parents have on raising children. Not only is a parent required for the biological creation of a child, but parents are vital to the social, moral, emotional, and academic formation of the child as well. No
UN Global Day of Parents Is June 1st! — Why? Read More »
Choosing kindness strengthens relationships, increases resilience and promotes emotional non-fragility, helps us solve problems, and is a choice that leads to happiness. Many parents tell me that they hope for their child to develop kindness. Indeed, kindness is a characteristic that develops. It’s a word that describes actions that display love or respect for others.
The Kindness Advantage Read More »
“Look Mom, this water bottle has a description. The water is described as ‘mouth-watering water,” said Porter with a chuckle. “This water calls itself smart, but I’m not sure that description seems very smart,” he added. This was too much for me. I completely broke down into a laughing attack over this ridiculous notion that
Want Bonding? How To Have More Laughs! Read More »
An exasperated woman, whose marriage was falling apart, said to me, “Nicholeen, my husband is obsessed by principles. He keeps telling me that I don’t understand principles and that I’m not living by principles. How do you define principles?” This woman’s husband lived according to his own made-up rules, such as hiding things from the
Principle vs Practice For Family Unity Read More »
Think of the voices that surround our children. Voices leading children to love money, God, family, power, popularity, prestige, entitlement, activism, intellectual achievement, personal worth, truth, pleasure-seeking, time wasting, productivity, industry, judgment, despair, and more. It’s easy to see how some of these voices mislead and hurt a child’s potential. Yet, these voices oftentimes come
Hurting or Helping Children | The Battle For Hearts And Loyalties Read More »
“I will do something to stop this!” I thought, as a friend of mine from Colorado told me that in the school databases in her state and my state, she found XXX elicit pornography? In fact, there are two easy things that we can all do to stop this porn-pandemic in the schools and libraries.
Eyes Wide Open: How Parents Can Stop Some Porn Exposure Read More »
Shut down doesn’t have to feel like shut down! Due to current restrictions caused by COVID-19, many families aren’t traveling as much as they normally do this time of year. Even local activities in many areas are still difficult to enjoy because of closures. But, that doesn’t mean we should stop having fun as a
Giving Your Family A Reason to Care About Family Read More »
One of the primary roles of parents is to be a leader of their children. Dedicated, motivated parents are usually one of two kinds of leaders; ambitious leaders or led leaders. While ambition seems like a powerful quality in a leader, it’s flawed because ambition is self-serving. On the other hand, a leader who is
The Truth About Ambitious Parents Read More »
Could it be that Coronavirus could actually cure your family? Now families have to be together all the time. Some families think this sounds awful. If a family is thinking this, then they are in need of lots of family time, not the contrary. In an effort to turn this pandemic into a blessing for
The Coronavirus Cure For Your Family Read More »
Trapped! That’s what many people feel like they are right now. Many children are complaining of being bored, or worse, having way too much screen time. Stress is infiltrating more homes globally by the day because businesses are closing their doors, people are losing their jobs, bills are still coming due, social distancing is making
How to Thrive When You’re Trapped Inside Read More »
Why do we cater to our stresses and forget to choose calmness? After all, calmness is the only state where we truly feel safe and empowered. Stress, anger, and frustration never lead to true empowerment or peace, only emotional bondage. In 1998, when I was the young mother of a small baby and a toddler,and
Choosing Calmness Amidst All the Stress Read More »
Creating quality, loving family relationships requires discerning between what actions are really quality and what actions are nothing more than conformity to social norms. Creating these quality relationships doesn’t require elaborate planning, just time. Strong family relationships are built upon many components, such as good communication, honesty, trust, love, forgiveness, bonding, listening, shared vision, and
Carving Out More Family Quality Time in a Fast-Paced World Read More »
For years, sociologists, governments and parents have been trying to determine whether the amount of time a parent spends with their child actually matters for the child’s success in life. How are we to know what’s best for our children and our families? We don’t need charts or questionnaires; we just need to look around
Quality, Quantity and Conformity: How Much Time Do Kids Really Need? Read More »
Much emotional agony is avoided and more relationship healing is possible when a person learns to listen with love. There were two similar conversations that had very different results. The first conversation was between a mother and her son. The son told his mother about a problem he was having with a friend, but she
10 Lessons for Listening With Love Read More »
As I held my 15-year-old son’s hand and watched the magic of Christmas unfold around me with lights and nativity displays at the city center, I felt that date with my son was a parent’s dream come true. Who doesn’t dream of the perfect parent/child memory? We all want them, but could our desire for
How To Create Magical Family Memories Read More »
During this time of year when there are lists of things to do and places to go, don’t forget this one simple truth: people are more important than things. People are worth more of our focus than lists. We may think that the lists of things make the holiday perfect for the people, but that
Making Any Holiday the Perfect Holiday Read More »
Some might think that optimistic people are fake or somehow disconnected from reality, but I know for a fact that positivity is one of our choices no matter what circumstances are before us. Russell Nelsontaught that our “joy has little to do with the circumstances of our lives, but everything to do with the focus
A Vow to be Positive Read More »
Family traditions instill personal and family identity and bind families together throughout their many phases of growth and change. After children and grandchildren are grown and gone off to live their adult lives, the traditions remain as reminders of the sweetness of home and family, what is most important in life, and who they really
Family Traditions that Bind or Break or Unity for Christmas Read More »
Black Friday and CyberMondayare here! Here are the deals we’ve got for you this year that will be good Friday November29th through Monday December 2nd: Summary: 50% off Digital Products Extra $250 off Parenting Mastery in February 2020 25% off all physical materials including packages! 50% offall digital products*. This includes ourImplementation Coursewhich is a
Black Friday through Cyber Monday deals 2019 Read More »
“Do you see those sweet sisters over there? They inspire me. They couldn’t be more different, but they also couldn’t be more full of love toward each other than they are,” a friend of mine pointed out to me one day about two ladies who were her good friends. She went on to explain, “One
1 Easy Way to Wrap Your Holiday Gatherings In Love Read More »
One day my father told me something so profound that it literally changed my social life and my personal empowerment forever. After I finished telling him about how another child at school had been mean to me, he said, “Nicholeen, sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you.” I’m guessing
“Choose Not to Be Harmed” Read More »
“But what if they just keep talking back and are driving me crazy,” a mother asked me while I was instructing a group of parents on how to teach their children to accept “no” answers. The mother of three told the group she knew she needed help becausesometimes she feels so crazy, or out of
Who Drives You Crazy? Read More »
After responding to the woman who teaches Primary at church with my initial, general tips on how to use self-government principles in the classroom she wrote me back the following:
Can I Use TSG with Someone Else’s Child? – Part 2 Read More »
Are we holding our children back?In the past 80-100 years, society has started holding children back with an artificial extension of childhood instead of empowering them forward toward purpose and adulthood. Thomas At age 12, Thomas Edison convinced his parents to allow him to leave home in order to sell newspapers to Grand Trunk Railroad
The Artificial Extension of Childhood Read More »
Back in 2008 I received a letter from a woman that teaches a class every Sunday at church. She was having difficulty managing the behavior of the children in her class (or rather, the children were having difficulty managing their own behavior!). She wrote…
Can I Use TSG with Someone Else’s Child? – Part 1 Read More »
Remember your family meetings! Family meetings are the core of Teaching Self-Government. If you have weekly family meetings, the whole family will stay focused on their family government. See what happens when you miss a few weeks, it’s noticeable. In my home it’s especially noticeable with Dad. He has less patience and focus as a parent when we miss our family meetings.
Family Meeting Tips Read More »
When one of our foster daughters lived with us years ago, she did something that the others hadn’t done. She spent the first few weeks very intently watching me. She watched the way I kept house, the way I parented my children, the time I spent reading scriptures and good books, etc.
Who Wants Realistic? Read More »
Perfection in parenting is nearly impossible to measure. God, the Perfect Parent, sets the perfect example. But we will always fall short because our attitudes, desires and intentions are not always as perfect as His. However, one of the many lessons from our perfect Godly Parent that we can focus on perfecting is our exactness.
Not Perfect, But Definitely Exact Read More »
Many years ago, my four-year-old son awoke me one morning and said, “Mom, I don’t remember what home looks like, but I do remember what you look like.”
“I don’t remember…” Read More »
Children aren’t perfect, and neither are parents. However, parenting isn’t about being perfect. And, there’s no such thing as a perfect child. Of course, perfection isn’t the goal of my parenting anyway. My goal has always been to create joyful adults. Joyful adults are those that know what their mission in life is and they’re
Parenting with Grace Read More »
I’m in need of some help with my nine-year-old son. He is a major dawdler, and always has been. I am a very efficient person and try to get things done as quickly as possible. See the conflict already? It takes gobs of time for him to do simple things like get dressed, brush teeth, eat breakfast, read his books, and other things that are very simple. He’ll start the task, but then literally just start walking around the house in circles, just doing nothing in particular except dawdling.
The 9-Year-Old Dawdler Dilemma Read More »
“I hate that I’ve been mean to my children before,” confessed a father I was speaking to recently. Instead of calmly handling difficult situations, this father had become frustrated a few times and lost his temper with his children. His voice tone and body were humble as he confessed this. He wasn’t making excuses for
Hope: Facing Toward Self-Government Read More »
If I planted a corn kernel in February, would I be disappointed when it didn’t turn into a large plant that same afternoon? Certainly not! Instead, I would get excited about the plant’s development as I waited for it to grow.
Parenting Programs: Is There a Quick Fix? Read More »
Historically, as young people approached the age of 18, they would start to spread their wings and transition into adulthood by stepping outside of their comfort zones. Sadly, times have changed. Today, many teens are feeling increasingly more inadequate to attempt adult tasks. In fact, they often don’t even feel comfortable talking to adults. In
Teen-Culture and the Land of Make Believe Read More »
Freedom in the family is the key to raising children who are freer and more independent. The problem is, most people don’t understand freedom. Many families institute complete license without consequences assuming that’s freedom and that it will lead to independent children. But in reality, it leads to emotional bondage and relationship dysfunction. Personal freedom
Raising Independent Children Read More »
I once received a note from a mother who had an eight-year-old son with obsessive tendencies. He was scared the upstairs of the house would break and drop everyone into the basement, so he constantly checked that the floor was strong enough. And this wasn’t the first time he had fixated on something. The mom was nervous because she had a family history of mental illness. Her husband wasn’t as worried because he believed most mental problems are created by a family’s discipline and relationships. He said that developing perfectionist children who govern themselves caused their son to obsess over things. She asked my advice on how to help her son through his obsessive thoughts and actions.
“Go long Porter!” said Dad to his 15-year-old son as they played Frisbee in the circle in front of our home. Dad and Porter throw Frisbees regularly in the evening. Am I mad that my husband is playing games with his son instead of helping me with the dinner preparation? No way! That play time
The Data About Dads and Child Self-Confidence Read More »
When I first decided to leave my high-paying career to stay home with my toddler son and daughter, I had to remind myself that I was picking the greater good. I was in the funeral industry and was really needed at an important time in people’s lives: the death of a loved one. I felt
From “Just a Mom” to Being Showcased on a BBC Program Read More »
When I started learning self-government principles years ago, I was foster parenting some difficult children, most of whom were on medication and had severe anger issues and terrible eating habits.As I started teaching them self-government skills, many of the children no longer needed their medication. Sometimes the anger issues stopped immediately, but in other children the issues re-surfaced later. With these youth I looked at another aspect of self-government: their diet.
The Potential Nutrition Cure for “Difficult Children” Read More »
Recently, while texting with my oldest son, he asked, “Hey, what do you want for Mother’s Day?” I shouldn’t really admit that I don’t like those kinds of questions, but the truth is I don’t. Maybe it’s because my love language isn’t gifts, or maybe it’s because I never know what to say. The most
What Your Mother Really Wants Read More »
In an ideal world, children would dutifully do their chores not only as effectively as Mom or Dad would do them, but also without delay. Unfortunately, we don’t live in an ideal world. Human brains, especially child brains, are wired to find more efficient ways to do tasks in order to save time or effort.
Two sisters, Becky and Sara, didn’t always get along.On the day Sara got baptized, Becky approached her older sister and said, “I think it’s stupid you got baptized.”
Parents are meant to shepherd their children toward truth and safety, as well as in learning skills, in order to prepare them for the purposes of their lives. But not all shepherds are the same. Two sisters were given some sheep to care for, and a promise that the sheep would be of great value
Shepherding the Children Read More »
A woman once asked me how to motivate her 18-year-old daughter to follow instructions and work more.Her daughter found following instruction insulting, and rewards or punishments like SODAS or TV time weren’t effective. The mom didn’t know any consequences or rewards that would motivate her daughter.
Motivation problems Read More »
The multiculturalism of modern society, or desire to promote all ideas or ways of living as good, no matter their opposition to moral, religious, social, and familial cultural norms, is creating negativity and confusion when it comes to attitudes about marriage and family. People have spent their young years reading books and watching movies that
Condolences Are Not Appropriate Read More »
I once received a letter from a mom asking how she could help her daughter navigate feelings of anxiety. The daughter would take her feelings out on whatever family member was closest. The mom had pre-taught her daughter that those actions were inappropriate and worked with her to find better alternatives, but it wasn’t working.
Controlling Anger Anxiety Read More »
When my son was 12, he sang barbershop with his dad and grandpa.A few nights a week they had long rehearsals.One night, my son didn’t get to bed until midnight after a rehearsal.He slept in the next morning and realized he missed helping the Boy Scouts deliver flags for Pioneer Day.He said, “I guess I was just too tired to get up.”
Communication: More Than Talking Read More »
A week ago, I was standing in the kitchen canning peaches, and my whole family atmosphere fell apart all around me in a matter of five minutes.
My son was asked by his father to help with something in the back yard. My son didn’t want to do it, so he decided to have an attitude problem about it. My husband was stressed, and chose to get upset, instead of teach to the situation correctly. (We all have our moments of weakness from time to time.)
My daughter was supposed to be cleaning her room, and was playing her piano instead. She had lost focus. (She is ten, this happens sometime
A Whole Selfish Family Read More »
Many parents of teen- or pre-teen-aged youth are confused about whether teenage rebellion is an attitude problem or whether the child is displaying healthy independence. When attitude problems seem like rebellion, parents wonder if rebellion is natural or simply a modern social construct that societies now think is developmentally normal. Rebellion is as old as
Healthy Independence vs. Rebellion Read More »
In his book, “The Power of Positive Thinking,” Norman Vincent Peale shares a story of a pastor talking to a painter about worrying. “Howard, don’t you ever worry?” the pastor asked the painter. The painter laughed and said, “No, not on your life. I don’t believe in it.” The painter goes on to tell how
Worry Not – Live Happy! Read More »
I once received a note from a reader about her 14-year-old son who was quite the thinker. He always wanted to know “Why?” about everything, which is wonderful, but it was leading to problems respecting authority.
The Children Want to Know Why… Read More »
A while ago,I was driving down the highway looking at the clear blue sky and the snow-capped mountains.A bird with a bright yellow head and a black body was perched on a wooden fence on the side of the road.The mountains were so beautiful.The spring flowers were starting to bloom.The radio played my favorite classical music station.The drive felt calm, like a dream.
Fun is so important for good personal and family health.Every Sunday we choose a family activity to do together sometime thatweek.My children also set a fun goal for the week with their father.He asks about their goal and makes sure they accomplish it. It’s great relationship-building time with their dad.
Fun… So Important! Read More »
“Is it okay for children to correct their parents?” I often get asked by parents who are hoping to be just in their parenting. My answer to them is, “Well, that all depends how and when it’s done. There is a right way and a wrong way to correct children, and for children to correct
4 Rules to Remember for When They Try to Correct You Read More »
I frequently get asked if Teaching Self-Government principles still work while you’re on a family vacation. The answer is a wholehearted yes! I’ve used the principles on many trips over the years, once for three weeks straight during two different vacations.
Does TSG Work On Trips? Read More »
“If our society is coming apart at the seams, it is because the tailor and the seamstress in the home are not producing the kind of stitching that will hold under stress. In the name of giving advantages, we have too often bartered away the real opportunities of our children.” (1981, Be Thou an Example,
Stitching That Holds the Family Together Read More »
I once heard from a mother who was struggling with her three-year-old. The girl didn’t take “No” answers well, even when they practiced. When she earned a consequence she either wouldn’tdothe chore or would holler if it was the removal of a privilege.If the mother gave her a “No” answer to anything, the girl would flop on the floor and scream. If she didn’t get what she wanted from her siblings, she would yell and hit them.She was a sweet girl, but she was also very strong-willed and determined to get her way.
I’m often asked how to parent in public. So many parents are tired of being the only ones trying to get their kids to behave properly and having their kids’ friends look at them like they’re acting like the wicked witch. Parents want their kids to enjoy playing with friends, but that doesn’t mean they have to let their children misbehave or do things that are rude or inappropriate. It really boils down to knowing how to handle different expectations of children’s behavior.
Parenting in Public Read More »
Even though the mistakes our children make are glaring us in the face, we also know that each of our children has certain attributes that make them wonderful, individual, and precious to us. Charitable parents focus more on those good, productive attributes than on the negative mistakes their children make daily. Each week I answer
Charitable Parenting Read More »
A reader once wrote asking about her children, ages 2, 4, 6 and 8. The children were usually very well-behaved in situations away from home. The mom tried to expose them to different places so they would know how to behave.
Dealing with Negative Social Influences Read More »
It’s all too common in many modern households to hear sighs, grumbling, complaining and whining from children when parents give reminders of daily work responsibilities, or when additional work assignments are given to children. But, before we think this is the way children have always felt about doing work or that everyone should feel work
How to Help Kids Enjoy Doing Work! Read More »
This Thanksgiving Day is dedicated to feeling and expressing gratitude for our blessings. Are you grateful for who you are and the roles you have? Two Mothers Two mothers, Tina and Katy, are watching the ball game of their oldest sons. Their boys play for the same team. Each mother has other children busily running
Grace is Behind the Thanks: Just Ask Mom Read More »
Black Friday/CyberMondayare here! Check out these 2018specials. (Only good Friday, Nov. 23 through Monday, Nov. 26.) Have yourself a calm little Christmas Summary: 25% off all children’s books and journalsmix and match. Free Cue Card set with new Calm Parenting cardwith every order of $30 or more. (Excluding events and digital only orders.) Free Power
“Calmness is the rarest quality in human life. It is the poise of a great nature, in harmony with itself and its ideals. It is the moral atmosphere of a life self-centred, self-reliant, and self- controlled. Calmness is singleness of purpose, absolute confidence, and conscious power — ready to be focused in an instant to
2/3 of the Power Behind a Change of Heart Read More »
When today’s parents were children, the costume was all about sticking out individually. But today’s young people and families are leaning more and more toward theme costumes. Why is this? Well, modern youth and families are more about togetherness than their parent’s generation. Also, the youth seem to recognize the power of community and/or the
Strong Families Create a Halloween Sanctuary for Children Read More »
When the famed prime minister of England, William Pitt, was asked what made him a great prime minister, he didn’t say his hard work ethic, late night hours, or perseverance. He said, “Patience.” There are many attributes that are useful to parents as they’re raising their children during this often busy world full of attitude
Surviving Mom’s Worst Day Ever! Read More »
I once heard from a mother who was having a hard time getting her 13-year-old son on board with the family vision. The other children eagerly participated in role playing exercises of following instructions and accepting consequences, but the son wouldn’t join. He wouldn’t come for family meetings or participate in activities.
Age 13 – And Defiant Read More »
I’ve previously talked about how teens go through normal detachment from their families. That’s to be expected. It’s the abnormal detachment that parents should watch for. Parents need to know what normal detachment looks like and the warning signs of abnormal detachment that can signal larger problems.
Teen Detachment: What Is Normal? Read More »
I’ve been writing about the best practices in raising children since 2006. During this time, I’ve covered a variety of subjects, but never did I think I would end up writing about a topic like this. No matter where you live or how you choose to educate your children, this database scandal could likely affect
Public Databases Destroying “Safe Places” For Children Read More »
Triathlon vs. Parenting: The Comparisons Read More »
I once had a reader say that praising didn’t come naturally for her. In fact, she thought praising seemed fake and annoying. She wrote:
I don’t want to be a cheerleader, always saying “Good job” no matter what—I want to say things that really matter, that I really believe, that are true. I guess what makes it hard is when I know (or think I know) that I’ve taught them how to do something better than they have done it, or that they should be capable of doing some things without always having to be praised for it.
“There is no more war in my classroom, and there is no more war in my home.” Those were the words of a teacher from Kenya this summer. It was part of a parenting training I attended designed to teach Catholic leaders how to teach their families self-government skills and good communication. In the 19
Fighting Over The Judgement Seat Read More »
Several years ago, my family had a tradition of occasionally deciding we were on vacation for a week. That meant we took a break from our regular routine. We did it a few times a year to focus on getting all of the yard and garden work done. One day that we spent doing lots of yard work is particularly memorable, not because of what we accomplished in the garden, but because of what happened with my children.
Sometimes They Figure It Out Themselves Read More »
Janae and Trisha both have a 12-year-old son who has a habit of being defiant. Each woman struggles with having the confidence to help her son change his behaviors during his outbursts. So why is Trisha’s son making so much more progress on staying calm and listening to her than Janae’s? Why is Trisha’s confidence
Love of Instructions and Reproof Read More »
Many years ago I co-directed a youth theater production of Shakespeare’s “The Tempest.” On our last day of performances, we had a matinee and an evening performance. The matinee performance started under lots of stress. We were missing our stage hand, our sound person and two actresses, and everyone was stressed. The only thing we had time to do was say a prayer. We usually took time getting into character and doing energy-building exercises before a performance, but we didn’t have time that day. The play had to go on.
Lights, Camera, Action… with Energy! Read More »
Today’s children are caught in the middle of multiple moral battle zones. You could even say that children’s moral battles are divorcing them from their parents. One of the most common characteristics of a child with divorced parents is that the child feels pulled between the parents’ different values and lifestyles. It’s common for husbands
They’re Caught in the Moral Middle Read More »
A few years ago, I received a letter from a woman regarding her nine-year-old son, Colin. Her problem was one that many other parents face. Colin regularly spent the entire day procrastinating his chores. On top of it all, he had a bad attitude. He was sent to bed early, which meant he didn’t do his chores and thought he got away with it. The house was messy because Colin didn’t wash the dishes, and the mom was at her wit’s end — how can the family work around a stubborn child who is constantly seeing how far he can push to get out of his responsibilities?
He Won’t Do His Chores? Read More »
I participate in a few discussion groups that have inspiring and thought-provoking conversations. I remember many years ago the topic on one of these groups was how much alone time parents need to be refreshed and ready to meet all the tasks on our daily lists.
I recently asked a group of 10-year-old children what kinds of negative consequences their families have. “At our house, we sweep the floor and clean,” said one boy. “Mom gets mad and goes into a bad mood,” said another boy. “Mom used to send us to time out, but we don’t do that anymore,” said
What Children Think of Negative Consequences Read More »
A few years ago, a reader wrote, “My kids love being able to disagree appropriately, but I don’t want them to do it every single time! They’re smart and have good reasons for wanting to do things a different way, and sometimes I’m happy to let them change our direction.But I don’t like taking the time to listen to their opinion every time I ask them to do something they don’t want to do.Suggestions?”
Disagreeing Appropriately Read More »
2 – What kind of opportunities do you give for kids to follow through before getting consequences?
Example: It’s each of the children’s responsibility to make their bed, tidy their bedroom and get dressed before breakfast at 7:30.I try to say encouraging things to get the kids to hurry along by letting them know how much time has passed and how much is left before breakfast — even advertising what’s coming for breakfast to motivate them.But when they don’t do it, or don’t do it on time, I suddenly wonder what I should do.Do they miss breakfast?
Morning Routine Motivation Read More »
Family travel looks different these days than it used to. Today’s parents were raised in a slower time. Most families planned one or two trips a year, which were usually taken during school holidays, and in our case, in the family travel trailer. While there are still families that really don’t like to leave home
Traveling Trends Meet Parenting Problems Read More »
One morning I woke up with this list of things to do that day on my mind.Ok, I didn’t plan on one of my children throwing up, but the rest was planned.Before I even got my swimsuit on to leave for the pool, I felt this tight feeling in my chest and my head started to ache.I tried taking some deep breaths to calm myself down, but itdidn’t seem to work. I kept going and thought my workout might relax me.
Sacrifice is vital for happiness. Most people think the word “sacrifice” is bad and sounds like a hardship, not a joyful journey. Happiness sounds much better! But without giving up some of our indulgences, excuses and time wasters, it’s difficult to accomplish the things that bring the most happiness, like fulfilling our roles as parents
What Will You Sacrifice? Read More »
One night, many years ago, I was faced with a decision. Should I write my daily blog, or should I sit in my daughter’s room telling exciting stories to my children? We had friends in town staying with us, and it was a tradition in our home that when friends come to stay, I gather them together and tell them one of my famous choose-your-own-ending type stories. The children were all very excited for storytime. I couldn’t let them down by choosing to write my blog post instead of spending time with the children. Then the thought hit me, “Wait a minute! I’m trying to decide between writing a blog vs. spending time with the children?? How could I even consider letting them down! Why would I ever choose to lose this time with my children just because I didn’t take the time earlier in the day to write my blog?”
Properly Prioritizing Our Time… Because It’s All We Have! Read More »
As I rounded the corner of a shopping isle at a local grocery store, I heard crying. Through tears a young girl, about 8 years old, said, “Tell me what it is Mom. Tell me what this is.” The moment I turned into this isle, the mother was in the middle of yelling, “Shut up
Treasure the Little Ones Read More »
Some 10 years ago, my four-year-old son was standing on the back porchone afternoon,talkingto his sister.They weretrying to make each other laugh by doing funny things.This is a common game with the two of them.All of the sudden I heard a loud BANG on thewindow located right nextto the porch.I ran to the door and saw my four year old standing there holding a garden shovel, smiling and laughing with his sister.
Respecting Property Read More »
It’s often said that “a mother’s work is never done.” There are multiple ways to see this sentiment. Either Mother never does her work, or Mother always has a task that needs doing, or perhaps that Mother is a mother no matter the age of her children. The first interpretation gives a negative and lazy
What a Mother Wants Most! Read More »
I remember one day talking with a dear friendabout parenting.She told me that for about a monthshe was doing so good with the Teaching Self-Government principles in her home.She said she really saw results whenever she remembered the principles and used them.Then she said that her family went on a trip for a week.On the way home from the trip, she stopped using the Teaching Self-Government principles.She said that for some reason she just went back to her old, inefficient way of running things at home.
Staying Focused on Correct Parenting Principles Read More »
“I like Dad better than Mom,” I said to my younger brother one sunny afternoon while sitting on the back of our rusty old Suburban. The moment I said that I knew that just a few weeks prior I was telling him that I liked Mom better than Dad. I knew I had changed my
The Battle Hymn of a Just Parent Read More »
No matter the amount of technology that’s developed to filter devices in order to keep children from viewing objectionable material, the mental, physical and spiritual risks of digital devices facing children have never been greater. Note: In this article I’m using the word “phone” liberally to mean all digital devices that are in regular use
How Many Times Do We Have to Talk About the Phone? Read More »
“Mommy, what makes the moon shine?”askedmy six-year-old daughter, Londyn. “The moon reflects the light of the sun,” I responded. After a brief discussion about the moon and the sun, I realized that her question was really profound. Innocence almost always finds truth.I’m grateful for that.The moon reflects the light from the sun. It never turns its back on the sun either.It always faces it.The moon loses light when things get in the way, like the earth.The moon has the power to control the tides on the earth; the very thing that gets in the way.
I participated in a recent demonstration at the United Nations to oppose the sexualization of children by UN agencies. These agencies are supposed to protect children. Right in the middle of my speech, a woman opposed to my views stuck a piece of paper in front of my face. The contentious act by this woman,
3 Ways to Foster Unity in a Contentious World Read More »
Years ago I was participating in a sewing activity at my church. Many women had gathered at the church with their sewing machines. At this activity, there was a four-year-old girl that kept touching the knobs on the sewing machines. Her mother tried to keep her in control and punished her by putting her into time-out when she touched the machines. She didn’t stop trying to touch the machines —even though this girl was punished each time .
Thanks to Pre-Teaching, Melanie Sees the Future Read More »
