“I will do something to stop this!” I thought, as a friend of mine from Colorado told me that in the school databases in her state and my state, she found XXX elicit pornography? In fact, there are two easy things that we can all do to stop this porn-pandemic in the schools and libraries. …
Eyes Wide Open: How Parents Can Stop Some Porn Exposure Read More »
For years, sociologists, governments and parents have been trying to determine whether the amount of time a parent spends with their child actually matters for the child’s success in life. How are we to know what’s best for our children and our families? We don’t need charts or questionnaires; we just need to look around …
Quality, Quantity and Conformity: How Much Time Do Kids Really Need? Read More »
After responding to the woman who teaches Primary at church with my initial, general tips on how to use self-government principles in the classroom she wrote me back the following:
Back in 2008 I received a letter from a woman that teaches a class every Sunday at church. She was having difficulty managing the behavior of the children in her class (or rather, the children were having difficulty managing their own behavior!). She wrote…
Remember your family meetings! Family meetings are the core of Teaching Self-Government. If you have weekly family meetings, the whole family will stay focused on their family government. See what happens when you miss a few weeks, it’s noticeable. In my home it’s especially noticeable with Dad. He has less patience and focus as a parent when we miss our family meetings.
When one of our foster daughters lived with us years ago, she did something that the others hadn’t done. She spent the first few weeks very intently watching me. She watched the way I kept house, the way I parented my children, the time I spent reading scriptures and good books, etc.
Perfection in parenting is nearly impossible to measure. God, the Perfect Parent, sets the perfect example. But we will always fall short because our attitudes, desires and intentions are not always as perfect as His. However, one of the many lessons from our perfect Godly Parent that we can focus on perfecting is our exactness. …
Many years ago, my four-year-old son awoke me one morning and said, “Mom, I don’t remember what home looks like, but I do remember what you look like.”
I’m in need of some help with my nine-year-old son. He is a major dawdler, and always has been. I am a very efficient person and try to get things done as quickly as possible. See the conflict already? It takes gobs of time for him to do simple things like get dressed, brush teeth, eat breakfast, read his books, and other things that are very simple. He’ll start the task, but then literally just start walking around the house in circles, just doing nothing in particular except dawdling.
If I planted a corn kernel in February, would I be disappointed when it didn’t turn into a large plant that same afternoon? Certainly not! Instead, I would get excited about the plant’s development as I waited for it to grow.
I once received a note from a mother who had an eight-year-old son with obsessive tendencies. He was scared the upstairs of the house would break and drop everyone into the basement, so he constantly checked that the floor was strong enough. And this wasn’t the first time he had fixated on something. The mom was nervous because she had a family history of mental illness. Her husband wasn’t as worried because he believed most mental problems are created by a family’s discipline and relationships. He said that developing perfectionist children who govern themselves caused their son to obsess over things. She asked my advice on how to help her son through his obsessive thoughts and actions.
When I started learning self-government principles years ago, I was foster parenting some difficult children, most of whom were on medication and had severe anger issues and terrible eating habits.As I started teaching them self-government skills, many of the children no longer needed their medication. Sometimes the anger issues stopped immediately, but in other children the issues re-surfaced later. With these youth I looked at another aspect of self-government: their diet.
Two sisters, Becky and Sara, didn’t always get along.On the day Sara got baptized, Becky approached her older sister and said, “I think it’s stupid you got baptized.”
A woman once asked me how to motivate her 18-year-old daughter to follow instructions and work more.Her daughter found following instruction insulting, and rewards or punishments like SODAS or TV time weren’t effective. The mom didn’t know any consequences or rewards that would motivate her daughter.
I once received a letter from a mom asking how she could help her daughter navigate feelings of anxiety. The daughter would take her feelings out on whatever family member was closest. The mom had pre-taught her daughter that those actions were inappropriate and worked with her to find better alternatives, but it wasn’t working.
When my son was 12, he sang barbershop with his dad and grandpa.A few nights a week they had long rehearsals.One night, my son didn’t get to bed until midnight after a rehearsal.He slept in the next morning and realized he missed helping the Boy Scouts deliver flags for Pioneer Day.He said, “I guess I was just too tired to get up.”
A week ago, I was standing in the kitchen canning peaches, and my whole family atmosphere fell apart all around me in a matter of five minutes.
My son was asked by his father to help with something in the back yard. My son didn’t want to do it, so he decided to have an attitude problem about it. My husband was stressed, and chose to get upset, instead of teach to the situation correctly. (We all have our moments of weakness from time to time.)
My daughter was supposed to be cleaning her room, and was playing her piano instead. She had lost focus. (She is ten, this happens sometime
I once received a note from a reader about her 14-year-old son who was quite the thinker. He always wanted to know “Why?” about everything, which is wonderful, but it was leading to problems respecting authority.
A while ago,I was driving down the highway looking at the clear blue sky and the snow-capped mountains.A bird with a bright yellow head and a black body was perched on a wooden fence on the side of the road.The mountains were so beautiful.The spring flowers were starting to bloom.The radio played my favorite classical music station.The drive felt calm, like a dream.
Fun is so important for good personal and family health.Every Sunday we choose a family activity to do together sometime thatweek.My children also set a fun goal for the week with their father.He asks about their goal and makes sure they accomplish it. It’s great relationship-building time with their dad.