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The Power of Calm – Chapter 2 Free Preview!

Please enjoy this free preview of The Power of Calm – Chapter 2: Nature, Nurture, and the Calmness Battle Order The Power of Calm here. Pre-order The Calm Crew for your children. Pre-order the Calm Family Bundle Chapter 2 Nature, Nurture, and the Calmness Battle Why Our History and Culture Shape How We React The […]

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When Full Lives Become Too Full: The Hidden Cost of Over-Scheduling Our Children

By Nicholeen Peck A few years ago, a mother sat across from me with tears in her eyes, not because her fifteen year old daughter was failing, acting out, or spiraling emotionally, but because something unexpectedly beautiful had happened. Her daughter was doing everything right. Cheerleading. After school clubs. Leadership programs. Volunteer hours. Music lessons.

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“A Soft Answer” and Yelling Inside and Out

by Nicholeen Peck The Scripture Behind Calm Parenting Proverbs 15:1 teaches, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” Most parents love this verse. We post it on walls, quote it in talks, and try to repeat it in our minds during tense moments. But applying this scripture in our homes—especially

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Why Parents Should Correct Their Children More Often

By Nicholeen Peck In today’s parenting culture, many well-meaning parents find themselves caught in a troubling trend. Messages from modern progressive or passive parenting philosophies often warn that correcting children too often can harm their self-esteem, make parents seem controlling, or create negative interactions at home. Parents are urged to “choose their battles,” “let children

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The Inevitable Behavioral Tight Spot That Parents Must Face

By Nicholeen Peck While visiting a young mother’s home I saw a touching scene unfold. The mother was calmly guiding her spirited three-year-old daughter through a meltdown over not getting her preferred snack. The little girl’s arms were crossed tightly, and her face was scrunched in pure toddler defiance. Rather than give in or match

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Tell Your Teens a Truth They’ve Been Waiting to Hear

By Nicholeen Peck Parenting teens can be an adventure filled with laughter and challenges, but it can also feel like a never-ending emotional marathon. Why are the teen years so hard for parents and teens to navigate? Is there a way to find common ground and approach these years as a team? Many parents ask

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The Contagious Cycle of Thankfulness

By Nicholeen Peck Challenges happen to us all. But as Russell M. Nelson said, “Success has less to do with the circumstances of your life, and more to do with the focus of your life.” What we choose to focus on has the power to shape not only how we see our circumstances but also

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Loving Life and Seeing Good Days Despite Disappointment

by Nicholeen Peck Four years ago, I wrote an article about having calmness during the election no matter what the outcome was. It was my intention to help people to choose calmness and see each other as people instead of opposition, even if they saw things differently politically. The surprising result of that article was

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Comfort Zones | Why Kids Need Someone To Push Them

by Nicholeen Peck “I’m scared” said two year old Clara when her uncle Porter was encouraging her to learn some swimming techniques while on a family trip. “You’re okay. I’m right here. You can do it.” Porter said. Clara fought the process a bit, but Porter wouldn’t be deterred. He knew that she was completely

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Canceling Parents Has Negative Consequences

by Nicholeen Peck In 2020 I wrote an article about the upcoming election admonishing parents to teach their children about calmness and the peaceful transition of power amidst the emotionally charged political debates and the controlling cancel-culture controversies. The day my article was posted my social media accounts got canceled. Apparently talking about calmness made

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Home Power – The Solution to Social Ills

by Nicholeen Peck Society, with all its innovations and intricacies, has lost the vision of home power. With social and political upheaval happening around the globe, parents wonder how to raise up a new generation of people who can set things straight, get society back on track toward goodness, diplomacy, truth, and healthy problem solving.

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“I’m Sorry” Shows A Lot

by Nicholeen Peck In the past week, I’ve received multiple apology texts from friends related to a variety of topics. Two apology texts stick out to me more than the others. One apology was clearly for social posturing. The person was sending it because they knew that they looked bad to others and didn’t want

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Correcting Behavior Vs Understanding Personality

by Nicholeen Peck Discerning between when a child should be corrected and when a child’s personality should simply be understood can be difficult for many parents, because personalities and behaviors are different, but can sometimes seem similar. So what is the difference between personality and behavior, and how can parents prepare for meaningful interactions to

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How To Talk To Your Kids | Bridging The Information Gap

by Nicholeen Peck Parents have to navigate some pretty tough topics in our modern world. These topics range from sibling rivalry and disconnection from parents to addictions, romance, drugs, spiritual skepticism, digital usage, and social dilemmas. Parents frequently ask me questions such as, “What should I say to my son about his girlfriend who is

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Punishment and Parental Authority

by Nicholeen Peck Punishment is a topic that evokes much debate. In the Bible we are told that the Lord loves those whom He chastens, and that enduring chastening brings us closer to God (Hebrews 12). In Webster’s 1828 Dictionary the word chasten means “correct by punishment…to purify from errors or faults.” But, to punish

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Vital Focus For Improving Family Togetherness In A Disconnected World

by Nicholeen Peck Ironically, in an age when business communications and social networking are easier than ever due to technological advances and global platforms, families are struggling more than ever to feel connected as groups. When the problems facing families seem endless and intricate there is one principle that we must keep in mind. “Our

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No More Standing on the Parenting Sidelines

by Nicholeen Peck Children sometimes say, “I wish my parents would stop getting involved in my life.” But is that what they really want? This idea of having total freedom without any oversight, teaching, or correction sounds very attractive to a child . However, when a person looks at the long-term effects on children who

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Increase Confidence by Telling Yourself “No”

by Nicholeen Peck Many parents want their children to learn to take responsibility for themselves: to learn self-government. A self-governed person, no matter the age, will be able to show the following characteristics. They can: give themselves instructions, follow through on commitments, accept the consequences of life, talk openly with people, discuss a difference of

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Cultural Rejection of Self-Government

by Nicholeen Peck Self-government, a key principle of individual and societal freedom, is culturally rejected by some academics. This malicious movement, if adopted by society, will undermine our cultures, our families, our economies, and our personal empowerment. Luckily, the solution to cultural warfare has a simple yet powerful and effective solution; strengthen the people by

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Family Roles Are Often Misunderstood

by Nicholeen Peck Honoring self-evident family roles promotes increased family identity, a functional family culture, and secure children. In order to honor the family roles of children and parents, it’s vital that we understand what family roles are and how they help us succeed. Misconceptions about roles have confused so many people and discouraged young

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Today’s Complexity Demands More Simplicity

by Nicholeen Peck “It’s harder for children nowadays with all of the technology and temptations and bad examples”, a mother said to me at a recent conference where I was speaking. We talked for a moment about the differences between her childhood and the childhood of her children. She was concerned. She felt lost and

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Mindset Makes or Breaks Family Bonds

“My daughter is so ungrateful! All I do is serve her, but she doesn’t care about me or what I feel. And, she never helps out, even when I ask nicely,” an exasperated mother told me about her teenage daughter. In a later conversation, Emily, the daughter said to me, “I never get anything my

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Where Love Is…

Love runs deeper than many people realize, and the outcomes of love are significant. We all recognize when we don’t feel loved or when we have a hard time feeling love for someone who isn’t behaving lovingly. But, what we don’t often recognize is that love isn’t something that can be turned on and off

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Practice Good Relationships This Christmas

It may seem trite and slightly overused to say it, but the old adage, “Make every day Christmas,” has more power than you might think. In fact, maybe, just maybe, the way to have life feel like Christmas every day is to truly live the spirit of Christmas in our relationships at Christmas time. Practicing

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Parents Want To Rescue Their Youth From Confusion

Nearly every day parents ask me how to help their “wayward young adult” or how to heal the heart of their “disconnected teen.” Children displaying unnatural affection by disconnecting from loving parents is an epidemic in our modern society. Normal human development involves increasingly seeking for autonomy as a person launches into adulthood. However, turning

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7 Tips For Reducing Stress and Anxiety In Children

Families are concerned about their children who are struggling with stress and anxiety. Why are stress and anxiety so prevalent nowadays, and what can families do to help in loving ways? Understanding Stress and Anxiety Stress and anxiety are real feelings that many children suffer with daily. According to Georgetown University Health Policy Institute Center

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Two Ways To Guide Youth Toward Purposeful Living

An exasperated mother said to me, “My teenager doesn’t like to work hard. She expects everything in life to be easy. How do I teach her to like work?” “Do you like work?” I asked the mother. “Most people who don’t see value in work, or don’t like work, are taught somewhere along the way

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The Vocabulary Gap And Its Effect On Families

When people don’t speak the same language, it’s hard to understand each other. Likewise, when parents and children don’t speak the same language, then they can become disconnected because of lack of understanding. Understanding creates a feeling of respect and bonding in relationships and is a vital component to creating family unity and solving family

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4 Steps For Increasing Your Patience

Some people seem to be naturally patient, while others seem to struggle with increasing patience because of their strong/hard natures or how they were nurtured. However, when patience is more understood, we all might find that we’re taking more steps toward patience than we think we are. And, if we keep taking those steps, then

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Being Your Child’s Safe Place

It’s currently commonplace to see youth aggressively confronting adults when, not too long ago, that behavior would never have been condoned. And, sadly this aggressive behavior is being misinterpreted as behavior necessary for the emotional safety of the child. If parents want to be the ‘safe place’ for their child, then it’s vital that they

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Self-Governed People Train Their Focus Forward

“I think I ruined my child,” a mother told me in desperation as she explained some of the behavior problems and disconnection problems her teenage son was having. She was being honest with herself about mistakes that she might have made in her son’s upbringing. My heart ached for her. She might have unknowingly done

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7 Lessons Aging Mothers & Grandmothers Teach Their Families

Mom has a bad knee, but that doesn’t stop us from making multi-generational memories to last a lifetime. Months ago, when I asked Mom to accompany me on a trip to Alaska, she said, “Sure, I’ll come if you really want me to go with you. I don’t move very fast anymore because of my

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When Things Don’t Go Your Way…

As nice as it would be to have complete control over outcomes, it isn’t humanly possible. Cause and effect is a principle of life that we can usually rely upon, but sometimes there seems to be another will for our days and experiences that turns our plans upside down. Sometimes these unexpected turns can create

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Children & Teens Want to Know More From Parents: Teaching Discernment

It sometimes seems like teens don’t want to listen to adults tell them what to do or not to do, but in reality, teens and children are always hoping that adults will teach them discernment. When a person doesn’t know who to follow or what to believe morally, then that person ends up feeling lost

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Obedience To Parents Changes Hearts

As part of learning cause and effect and growing into healthy adulthood, most children occasionally test boundaries by willfully choosing disobedience or even rebelling against parents. While taking risks and being a little bit rebellious here and there are usually healthy signs of normal development toward adulthood, obedience is required for wisdom and learning, too.

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The Death of Diplomacy And The Impact On Children

Diplomacy is dying. MSN’s Feb 18, 2022 article called, “Is This The Year Of The Angry Parent? The GOP Hopes So,” talked about how parent anger about masks and social issues was helping the GOP and causing a problem. Yahoo News declared, “A parents’ revolt is currently sweeping the nation,” in their Feb 18, 2022

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From TV-Addicted to Time Together!

Sharon and Michael always enjoyed their downtime in the evenings watching DIY, design, and food programs. They felt like their time together as a young married couple was meaningful and educational since they both loved creative projects, and they got the “downtime” they needed at the end their busy workdays. This nightly ritual quickly became

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4 Simple Steps For Helping Youth Find Purpose In Life

Our youth are stuck in a social vortex that’s forever spinning ideas past them but never leading them to truth. Every person has an inborn desire to know why they are here, where they are going, and what life’s all about. Scientists and socialists, as well as academics and activists, all attempt to promote purpose

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The Key To Experiencing Christmas More Fully

Christmas stories are the best! They really have a way of teaching our hearts about the true meaning of Christmas, when the to-do lists seem to take over the month of December. Even though many of the best Christmas stories involve someone giving a gift, the stories aren’t really about giving. They are about something

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One Easy Way To Increase Emotional Maturity In Children

Sadly, teaching strategies for proper social and emotional health are often unorganized and conflicting. Parents are left feeling like they need to choose between teaching children to have self-control and teaching children to be emotionally heard. These choices seem like opposites to most people. But, to a person who has true emotional intelligence, both of

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Children, The Sexual Target?

We can’t afford to serve two masters anymore because our children’s hearts and minds are a prize to be won. For years now, society and media have dually honored both animalistic sexual license as well as humanely nurturing the innocence of children and admiring the goodness of God. Unsurprisingly, basic nurturing and some of God’s

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A Global Need For Authentic Grandparents

Authentic grandparents who actively engage with their children and grandchildren establish a foundation of security and hope for the younger generations that can’t be found elsewhere. Grandpa had a boat and regularly took me and the rest of his large family out for rides and on water-skiing trips. These were fun memories, but one boating

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Combating the Loneliness Epidemic

When was the last time you felt lonely? In order to thrive during these socially unusual times, and even times that aren’t unusual at all, it’s important to understand the difference between being alone and experiencing real loneliness, and what we can do to combat the loneliness epidemic that seems to be sweeping many countries.

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Are You Teaching Children Discernment?

An online school teacher was recently giving me the highlights of his career. He proudly told me that his favorite part of his job was that he gets to teach children discernment. I could see how this would be exciting for him but was also instantly concerned. A series of “what if” questions came to

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Helping Children Deal With Offensive Situations

“That girl was so rude!” a girl about age 12 said to her mother as she skated off of the roller rink. Immediately her mother started toward the mother of the “rude” girl to tell her to control her daughter and to tell the daughter to apologize for her unkindness. This mother clearly loved and

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Raising Daughters Into Strong Women A Different Way

My views have changed. During my teen and young adult years, I thought that women needed to do everything men did, and women did, in order to be strong. But, now that I have seen every dimension of womanhood firsthand, I see that my views of women and myself lacked depth and understanding when I

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Stand Out & Speak Up – Self-Government Principles For Our Day! (Curriculum)

Parents and school administrators have requested that I make a short, free curriculum that parents can use to help their children navigate some of the social issues children are often forced to encounter at young ages. This curriculum is basic but deep, and it’s a principle-based lesson plan to help parents prepare their children to

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Is Critical Race Theory Hurting Our Children?

Chris W. shared this shocking story with me about his experience last week with his son at a California park. “My son and I were playing soccer at a park in the bay area of California. Multiple African American boys came up to my son and started punching him in the head for no reason.

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3 Ways to Deepen Family Bonds and Increase Emotional Understanding

There is a myth that parents from past generations didn’t understand or care about the feelings of their children as much as they should have or as much as modern parents do. This isn’t true. I’m never a fan of putting whole generations of people into boxes just because there are a few horror stories.

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Preparation —The Long View of Parenting

“I don’t have the time to catch every little thing the kids do. I run a business, I have a large family, and I homeschool. Isn’t there an easier way to stop the bad behaviors than having to correct every one of them? I think I need the condensed, quicker approach to parenting,” said Gwen,

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Hurting or Helping Children | The Battle For Hearts And Loyalties

Think of the voices that surround our children. Voices leading children to love money, God, family, power, popularity, prestige, entitlement, activism, intellectual achievement, personal worth, truth, pleasure-seeking, time wasting, productivity, industry, judgment, despair, and more. It’s easy to see how some of these voices mislead and hurt a child’s potential. Yet, these voices oftentimes come

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Emotional Power Vs Emotional Bondage

A teenage girl talking back to her mother in an airport about her emotions said, “We have to let our emotions out. I’m being true to myself. I won’t stuff my emotions just because you don’t want to hear them!” The mother, who had told her daughter that she couldn’t use her phone anymore, was

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Narcissism, The New Normal?

Even though there seems to be more self-absorbed people around us than ever before, calling someone a narcissist may miss the mark. In fact, many people who seem to possess narcissistic behavior, might just be prideful. There is a difference. People all over the world share their relationship struggles and personal development goals with me

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“I Love You No Matter What”

Children need to feel love from their parents more than ever before. And, our neighbors need love too. That unconditional, deep and abiding love will help our children weather the storms of life. Love is the truth that fills the soul and gives life hope and meaning. Maybe, during this time of social and political

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What Breaks Relationships And How To Fix Them

Relationships require selfless service to survive. Although there are multiple reasons people site for their relationship dysfunctions, from infidelity to arguments, relationship problems usually all have two things in common: dishonesty and selfishness. According to The Institute For Family Studies, the leading causes of divorce are: infidelity, incompatibility, drinking or drug use, growing apart, a

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The Dignity of Work & The Will to Choose It

Think about Santa. He works all day every day without pay to get ready for one exciting night when he works harder than he has ever worked before in order to bring happiness. Think about Jesus. He worked every day of His mortal ministry; teaching, leading, healing, walking, serving others, and travailing to prepare Him

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Reclaiming The Right To Parent Our Own Children

In 2012, a woman attending one of my Teaching Self-Government parenting trainings began to cry in the middle of my presentation about different styles of parenting. She timidly raised her hand and I called upon her to speak. Through sobs and tears she said, “My mom was that modern progressive, permissive type of parent you

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Where We Give Our Attention Matters Most

When I was a little girl, my brothers used to tease me. Every time I was teased or called names by them, I allowed myself to become emotional. One day when I was upset, my father said to me, “Nicholeen, if you don’t let the teasing work, then it won’t be fun for them and

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Having Self-Government During Political Drama

The political climate is pretty hot right now! Threats, scandals, verbal attacks, social unrest, corruption, and control tactics are all part of the current political scene. People are preparing for the worst no matter what the United States election turns out like. What preparations are the most effective? Preparing your own heart to be calm

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Giving Your Family A Reason to Care About Family

Shut down doesn’t have to feel like shut down! Due to current restrictions caused by COVID-19, many families aren’t traveling as much as they normally do this time of year. Even local activities in many areas are still difficult to enjoy because of closures. But, that doesn’t mean we should stop having fun as a

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Talking About Nothing: Is It Healthy?

Our family loves games! We play card games, board games, outdoor games, sports, and imagination games. Sometimes we have conversations about games we play, but most of the time we talk about things of more substance such as family, improving relationships, truths we’ve found, books we’ve read, experiences we’ve had, memories we share, family history,

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They Don’t Want to Disappoint You

When teaching and training children, many parents don’t often think about the heart and bond of the child, and how the child is processing what the parent does and says. Since children often misunderstand us and situations, then relationship disconnections occur. Parents are more dedicated to the spiritual, social, and academic success of their children

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Simple Solutions for Lack of Motivation Problems

A mother recently asked me how to help her daughter feel motivated to do anything besides sit around the house. She isn’t alone. With the new quarantine lifestyle, many families are thriving with the increase of family time, personal time, and relationship-building. But, even the most involved parents can still find that their child might

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How to Thrive When You’re Trapped Inside

Trapped! That’s what many people feel like they are right now. Many children are complaining of being bored, or worse, having way too much screen time. Stress is infiltrating more homes globally by the day because businesses are closing their doors, people are losing their jobs, bills are still coming due, social distancing is making

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Choosing Calmness Amidst All the Stress

Why do we cater to our stresses and forget to choose calmness? After all, calmness is the only state where we truly feel safe and empowered. Stress, anger, and frustration never lead to true empowerment or peace, only emotional bondage. In 1998, when I was the young mother of a small baby and a toddler,and

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Carving Out More Family Quality Time in a Fast-Paced World

Creating quality, loving family relationships requires discerning between what actions are really quality and what actions are nothing more than conformity to social norms. Creating these quality relationships doesn’t require elaborate planning, just time. Strong family relationships are built upon many components, such as good communication, honesty, trust, love, forgiveness, bonding, listening, shared vision, and

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10 Lessons for Listening With Love

Much emotional agony is avoided and more relationship healing is possible when a person learns to listen with love. There were two similar conversations that had very different results. The first conversation was between a mother and her son. The son told his mother about a problem he was having with a friend, but she

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How To Create Magical Family Memories

As I held my 15-year-old son’s hand and watched the magic of Christmas unfold around me with lights and nativity displays at the city center, I felt that date with my son was a parent’s dream come true. Who doesn’t dream of the perfect parent/child memory? We all want them, but could our desire for

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Making Any Holiday the Perfect Holiday

During this time of year when there are lists of things to do and places to go, don’t forget this one simple truth: people are more important than things. People are worth more of our focus than lists. We may think that the lists of things make the holiday perfect for the people, but that

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Family Traditions that Bind or Break or Unity for Christmas

Family traditions instill personal and family identity and bind families together throughout their many phases of growth and change. After children and grandchildren are grown and gone off to live their adult lives, the traditions remain as reminders of the sweetness of home and family, what is most important in life, and who they really

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1 Easy Way to Wrap Your Holiday Gatherings In Love

“Do you see those sweet sisters over there? They inspire me. They couldn’t be more different, but they also couldn’t be more full of love toward each other than they are,” a friend of mine pointed out to me one day about two ladies who were her good friends. She went on to explain, “One

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The Artificial Extension of Childhood

Are we holding our children back?In the past 80-100 years, society has started holding children back with an artificial extension of childhood instead of empowering them forward toward purpose and adulthood. Thomas At age 12, Thomas Edison convinced his parents to allow him to leave home in order to sell newspapers to Grand Trunk Railroad

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Family Meeting Tips

Remember your family meetings! Family meetings are the core of Teaching Self-Government. If you have weekly family meetings, the whole family will stay focused on their family government. See what happens when you miss a few weeks, it’s noticeable. In my home it’s especially noticeable with Dad. He has less patience and focus as a parent when we miss our family meetings.

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