Please enjoy this free preview of The Power of Calm – Chapter 2: Nature, Nurture, and the Calmness Battle Order The Power of Calm here. Pre-order The Calm Crew for your children. Pre-order the Calm Family Bundle Chapter 2 Nature, Nurture, and the Calmness Battle Why Our History and Culture Shape How We React The […]
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by Nicholeen Peck The Scripture Behind Calm Parenting Proverbs 15:1 teaches, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” Most parents love this verse. We post it on walls, quote it in talks, and try to repeat it in our minds during tense moments. But applying this scripture in our homes—especially
“A Soft Answer” and Yelling Inside and Out Read More »
By Nicholeen Peck In today’s parenting culture, many well-meaning parents find themselves caught in a troubling trend. Messages from modern progressive or passive parenting philosophies often warn that correcting children too often can harm their self-esteem, make parents seem controlling, or create negative interactions at home. Parents are urged to “choose their battles,” “let children
Why Parents Should Correct Their Children More Often Read More »
By Nicholeen Peck While visiting a young mother’s home I saw a touching scene unfold. The mother was calmly guiding her spirited three-year-old daughter through a meltdown over not getting her preferred snack. The little girl’s arms were crossed tightly, and her face was scrunched in pure toddler defiance. Rather than give in or match
The Inevitable Behavioral Tight Spot That Parents Must Face Read More »
By Nicholeen Peck Parenting teens can be an adventure filled with laughter and challenges, but it can also feel like a never-ending emotional marathon. Why are the teen years so hard for parents and teens to navigate? Is there a way to find common ground and approach these years as a team? Many parents ask
Tell Your Teens a Truth They’ve Been Waiting to Hear Read More »
by Nicholeen Peck “I’m scared” said two year old Clara when her uncle Porter was encouraging her to learn some swimming techniques while on a family trip. “You’re okay. I’m right here. You can do it.” Porter said. Clara fought the process a bit, but Porter wouldn’t be deterred. He knew that she was completely
Comfort Zones | Why Kids Need Someone To Push Them Read More »
by Nicholeen Peck Discerning between when a child should be corrected and when a child’s personality should simply be understood can be difficult for many parents, because personalities and behaviors are different, but can sometimes seem similar. So what is the difference between personality and behavior, and how can parents prepare for meaningful interactions to
Correcting Behavior Vs Understanding Personality Read More »
by Nicholeen Peck Children sometimes say, “I wish my parents would stop getting involved in my life.” But is that what they really want? This idea of having total freedom without any oversight, teaching, or correction sounds very attractive to a child . However, when a person looks at the long-term effects on children who
No More Standing on the Parenting Sidelines Read More »
by Nicholeen Peck Many parents want their children to learn to take responsibility for themselves: to learn self-government. A self-governed person, no matter the age, will be able to show the following characteristics. They can: give themselves instructions, follow through on commitments, accept the consequences of life, talk openly with people, discuss a difference of
Increase Confidence by Telling Yourself “No” Read More »
by Nicholeen Peck As parents, my husband and I hope that our children will succeed as parents. My daughter, Paije, has exceeded my parenting expectations with her little toddler daughter, Clara. The skills that Paije has taught Clara to help her do self-regulation and self-calming are good skills for 21-month-olds, however, these self-government skills that
Self-Regulation Skills for All Ages —Even Toddlers! Read More »
“My daughter is so ungrateful! All I do is serve her, but she doesn’t care about me or what I feel. And, she never helps out, even when I ask nicely,” an exasperated mother told me about her teenage daughter. In a later conversation, Emily, the daughter said to me, “I never get anything my
Mindset Makes or Breaks Family Bonds Read More »
Love runs deeper than many people realize, and the outcomes of love are significant. We all recognize when we don’t feel loved or when we have a hard time feeling love for someone who isn’t behaving lovingly. But, what we don’t often recognize is that love isn’t something that can be turned on and off
It may seem trite and slightly overused to say it, but the old adage, “Make every day Christmas,” has more power than you might think. In fact, maybe, just maybe, the way to have life feel like Christmas every day is to truly live the spirit of Christmas in our relationships at Christmas time. Practicing
Practice Good Relationships This Christmas Read More »
Nearly every day parents ask me how to help their “wayward young adult” or how to heal the heart of their “disconnected teen.” Children displaying unnatural affection by disconnecting from loving parents is an epidemic in our modern society. Normal human development involves increasingly seeking for autonomy as a person launches into adulthood. However, turning
Parents Want To Rescue Their Youth From Confusion Read More »
Families are concerned about their children who are struggling with stress and anxiety. Why are stress and anxiety so prevalent nowadays, and what can families do to help in loving ways? Understanding Stress and Anxiety Stress and anxiety are real feelings that many children suffer with daily. According to Georgetown University Health Policy Institute Center
7 Tips For Reducing Stress and Anxiety In Children Read More »
An exasperated mother said to me, “My teenager doesn’t like to work hard. She expects everything in life to be easy. How do I teach her to like work?” “Do you like work?” I asked the mother. “Most people who don’t see value in work, or don’t like work, are taught somewhere along the way
Two Ways To Guide Youth Toward Purposeful Living Read More »
When people don’t speak the same language, it’s hard to understand each other. Likewise, when parents and children don’t speak the same language, then they can become disconnected because of lack of understanding. Understanding creates a feeling of respect and bonding in relationships and is a vital component to creating family unity and solving family
The Vocabulary Gap And Its Effect On Families Read More »
Some people seem to be naturally patient, while others seem to struggle with increasing patience because of their strong/hard natures or how they were nurtured. However, when patience is more understood, we all might find that we’re taking more steps toward patience than we think we are. And, if we keep taking those steps, then
4 Steps For Increasing Your Patience Read More »
It’s currently commonplace to see youth aggressively confronting adults when, not too long ago, that behavior would never have been condoned. And, sadly this aggressive behavior is being misinterpreted as behavior necessary for the emotional safety of the child. If parents want to be the ‘safe place’ for their child, then it’s vital that they
Being Your Child’s Safe Place Read More »
“I think I ruined my child,” a mother told me in desperation as she explained some of the behavior problems and disconnection problems her teenage son was having. She was being honest with herself about mistakes that she might have made in her son’s upbringing. My heart ached for her. She might have unknowingly done
Self-Governed People Train Their Focus Forward Read More »
Mom has a bad knee, but that doesn’t stop us from making multi-generational memories to last a lifetime. Months ago, when I asked Mom to accompany me on a trip to Alaska, she said, “Sure, I’ll come if you really want me to go with you. I don’t move very fast anymore because of my
7 Lessons Aging Mothers & Grandmothers Teach Their Families Read More »
As nice as it would be to have complete control over outcomes, it isn’t humanly possible. Cause and effect is a principle of life that we can usually rely upon, but sometimes there seems to be another will for our days and experiences that turns our plans upside down. Sometimes these unexpected turns can create
When Things Don’t Go Your Way… Read More »
It sometimes seems like teens don’t want to listen to adults tell them what to do or not to do, but in reality, teens and children are always hoping that adults will teach them discernment. When a person doesn’t know who to follow or what to believe morally, then that person ends up feeling lost
Children & Teens Want to Know More From Parents: Teaching Discernment Read More »
As part of learning cause and effect and growing into healthy adulthood, most children occasionally test boundaries by willfully choosing disobedience or even rebelling against parents. While taking risks and being a little bit rebellious here and there are usually healthy signs of normal development toward adulthood, obedience is required for wisdom and learning, too.
Obedience To Parents Changes Hearts Read More »
Diplomacy is dying. MSN’s Feb 18, 2022 article called, “Is This The Year Of The Angry Parent? The GOP Hopes So,” talked about how parent anger about masks and social issues was helping the GOP and causing a problem. Yahoo News declared, “A parents’ revolt is currently sweeping the nation,” in their Feb 18, 2022
The Death of Diplomacy And The Impact On Children Read More »
Sharon and Michael always enjoyed their downtime in the evenings watching DIY, design, and food programs. They felt like their time together as a young married couple was meaningful and educational since they both loved creative projects, and they got the “downtime” they needed at the end their busy workdays. This nightly ritual quickly became
From TV-Addicted to Time Together! Read More »
Our youth are stuck in a social vortex that’s forever spinning ideas past them but never leading them to truth. Every person has an inborn desire to know why they are here, where they are going, and what life’s all about. Scientists and socialists, as well as academics and activists, all attempt to promote purpose
4 Simple Steps For Helping Youth Find Purpose In Life Read More »
Christmas stories are the best! They really have a way of teaching our hearts about the true meaning of Christmas, when the to-do lists seem to take over the month of December. Even though many of the best Christmas stories involve someone giving a gift, the stories aren’t really about giving. They are about something
The Key To Experiencing Christmas More Fully Read More »
Sadly, teaching strategies for proper social and emotional health are often unorganized and conflicting. Parents are left feeling like they need to choose between teaching children to have self-control and teaching children to be emotionally heard. These choices seem like opposites to most people. But, to a person who has true emotional intelligence, both of
One Easy Way To Increase Emotional Maturity In Children Read More »
We can’t afford to serve two masters anymore because our children’s hearts and minds are a prize to be won. For years now, society and media have dually honored both animalistic sexual license as well as humanely nurturing the innocence of children and admiring the goodness of God. Unsurprisingly, basic nurturing and some of God’s
Children, The Sexual Target? Read More »
Authentic grandparents who actively engage with their children and grandchildren establish a foundation of security and hope for the younger generations that can’t be found elsewhere. Grandpa had a boat and regularly took me and the rest of his large family out for rides and on water-skiing trips. These were fun memories, but one boating
A Global Need For Authentic Grandparents Read More »
When was the last time you felt lonely? In order to thrive during these socially unusual times, and even times that aren’t unusual at all, it’s important to understand the difference between being alone and experiencing real loneliness, and what we can do to combat the loneliness epidemic that seems to be sweeping many countries.
Combating the Loneliness Epidemic Read More »
An online school teacher was recently giving me the highlights of his career. He proudly told me that his favorite part of his job was that he gets to teach children discernment. I could see how this would be exciting for him but was also instantly concerned. A series of “what if” questions came to
Are You Teaching Children Discernment? Read More »
“That girl was so rude!” a girl about age 12 said to her mother as she skated off of the roller rink. Immediately her mother started toward the mother of the “rude” girl to tell her to control her daughter and to tell the daughter to apologize for her unkindness. This mother clearly loved and
Helping Children Deal With Offensive Situations Read More »
My views have changed. During my teen and young adult years, I thought that women needed to do everything men did, and women did, in order to be strong. But, now that I have seen every dimension of womanhood firsthand, I see that my views of women and myself lacked depth and understanding when I
Raising Daughters Into Strong Women A Different Way Read More »
Parents and school administrators have requested that I make a short, free curriculum that parents can use to help their children navigate some of the social issues children are often forced to encounter at young ages. This curriculum is basic but deep, and it’s a principle-based lesson plan to help parents prepare their children to
Stand Out & Speak Up – Self-Government Principles For Our Day! (Curriculum) Read More »
The subject of anxiety can be confusing. Anxiety seems to be part of everyday conversation these days. I’ve heard some people shake their heads and call anxiety a “contagious, modern epidemic,” and yet I’ve seen many real, intense anxiety attacks that leave people worn out and hopeless. Some people say that anxiety is something a
Mixed Messages About Anxiety & Fragility Read More »
Chris W. shared this shocking story with me about his experience last week with his son at a California park. “My son and I were playing soccer at a park in the bay area of California. Multiple African American boys came up to my son and started punching him in the head for no reason.
Is Critical Race Theory Hurting Our Children? Read More »
There is a myth that parents from past generations didn’t understand or care about the feelings of their children as much as they should have or as much as modern parents do. This isn’t true. I’m never a fan of putting whole generations of people into boxes just because there are a few horror stories.
3 Ways to Deepen Family Bonds and Increase Emotional Understanding Read More »
“I don’t have the time to catch every little thing the kids do. I run a business, I have a large family, and I homeschool. Isn’t there an easier way to stop the bad behaviors than having to correct every one of them? I think I need the condensed, quicker approach to parenting,” said Gwen,
Preparation —The Long View of Parenting Read More »
Think of the voices that surround our children. Voices leading children to love money, God, family, power, popularity, prestige, entitlement, activism, intellectual achievement, personal worth, truth, pleasure-seeking, time wasting, productivity, industry, judgment, despair, and more. It’s easy to see how some of these voices mislead and hurt a child’s potential. Yet, these voices oftentimes come
Hurting or Helping Children | The Battle For Hearts And Loyalties Read More »
A teenage girl talking back to her mother in an airport about her emotions said, “We have to let our emotions out. I’m being true to myself. I won’t stuff my emotions just because you don’t want to hear them!” The mother, who had told her daughter that she couldn’t use her phone anymore, was
Emotional Power Vs Emotional Bondage Read More »
Even though there seems to be more self-absorbed people around us than ever before, calling someone a narcissist may miss the mark. In fact, many people who seem to possess narcissistic behavior, might just be prideful. There is a difference. People all over the world share their relationship struggles and personal development goals with me
Narcissism, The New Normal? Read More »
Children need to feel love from their parents more than ever before. And, our neighbors need love too. That unconditional, deep and abiding love will help our children weather the storms of life. Love is the truth that fills the soul and gives life hope and meaning. Maybe, during this time of social and political
“I Love You No Matter What” Read More »
Relationships require selfless service to survive. Although there are multiple reasons people site for their relationship dysfunctions, from infidelity to arguments, relationship problems usually all have two things in common: dishonesty and selfishness. According to The Institute For Family Studies, the leading causes of divorce are: infidelity, incompatibility, drinking or drug use, growing apart, a
What Breaks Relationships And How To Fix Them Read More »
Think about Santa. He works all day every day without pay to get ready for one exciting night when he works harder than he has ever worked before in order to bring happiness. Think about Jesus. He worked every day of His mortal ministry; teaching, leading, healing, walking, serving others, and travailing to prepare Him
The Dignity of Work & The Will to Choose It Read More »
In 2012, a woman attending one of my Teaching Self-Government parenting trainings began to cry in the middle of my presentation about different styles of parenting. She timidly raised her hand and I called upon her to speak. Through sobs and tears she said, “My mom was that modern progressive, permissive type of parent you
Reclaiming The Right To Parent Our Own Children Read More »
When I was a little girl, my brothers used to tease me. Every time I was teased or called names by them, I allowed myself to become emotional. One day when I was upset, my father said to me, “Nicholeen, if you don’t let the teasing work, then it won’t be fun for them and
Where We Give Our Attention Matters Most Read More »
The political climate is pretty hot right now! Threats, scandals, verbal attacks, social unrest, corruption, and control tactics are all part of the current political scene. People are preparing for the worst no matter what the United States election turns out like. What preparations are the most effective? Preparing your own heart to be calm
Having Self-Government During Political Drama Read More »
“Is it too late for me and my child?” a single mother of a 17-year-old daughter asked me after telling me how her daughter won’t listen to her or talk to her, and is going against all the standards of her home. Just like so many other parents, this mother wanted to know if learning
How To Love a Disobedient or Wayward Child Read More »
What a difference our agency makes in who we choose to follow! When my daughter, Paije, was in a homeschool co-op class at age 14, after a discussion about what makes a good leader, the class was asked how they would know who to vote for when they were adults. My daughter shot up her
Parents, Pass-times, & Politics Read More »
My friend recently posted a picture of her family on a hike. The children were laughing and having a great time. I was instantly inspired to do a fun activity with my family. I thought, “Hiking is a great idea! We should plan a time to go on a family hike.” My friend was capturing
Pointing Fingers At Perfectionism Read More »
Have you ever completely lost control of yourself and you weren’t exactly sure why? This can happen to anyone. This usually means that you’ve been triggered in some way. There’s so much talk about emotional triggers nowadays that triggers are turning into common excuses for poor behavior. Could it be that we might sometimes be
Good Triggers vs. Bad Triggers and Calm Communication Skills Read More »
There are more sources for comedy than ever before with online video platforms, social media memes, and GIFS, yet people aren’t happier. In fact, depression and suicide statistics that are increasing all the time show us that people are sadder and more hopeless than previous generations. No program, hotline number, or amount of money or
If You Love Me, Smile! Read More »
If there was one lesson I craved to know as a child, it was how to know if something was right or true in a world of confusing voices. I remember sitting intently at church waiting for the magic teaching that would help me really learn how to know when I found truth, or when
What They Don’t Discern Can Hurt Them Read More »
Sick, horrified, disgusted, and worried are just some of the words that describe how I felt when an innocent search through the student portal of the Utah Online Library database pulled up graphic porn in a resource that was supposed to be for children about daddies. The resource said that daddies were adult men who
Our Destiny and Daddies Read More »
Our family loves games! We play card games, board games, outdoor games, sports, and imagination games. Sometimes we have conversations about games we play, but most of the time we talk about things of more substance such as family, improving relationships, truths we’ve found, books we’ve read, experiences we’ve had, memories we share, family history,
Talking About Nothing: Is It Healthy? Read More »
When teaching and training children, many parents don’t often think about the heart and bond of the child, and how the child is processing what the parent does and says. Since children often misunderstand us and situations, then relationship disconnections occur. Parents are more dedicated to the spiritual, social, and academic success of their children
They Don’t Want to Disappoint You Read More »
One of the primary roles of parents is to be a leader of their children. Dedicated, motivated parents are usually one of two kinds of leaders; ambitious leaders or led leaders. While ambition seems like a powerful quality in a leader, it’s flawed because ambition is self-serving. On the other hand, a leader who is
The Truth About Ambitious Parents Read More »
Trapped! That’s what many people feel like they are right now. Many children are complaining of being bored, or worse, having way too much screen time. Stress is infiltrating more homes globally by the day because businesses are closing their doors, people are losing their jobs, bills are still coming due, social distancing is making
How to Thrive When You’re Trapped Inside Read More »
Why do we cater to our stresses and forget to choose calmness? After all, calmness is the only state where we truly feel safe and empowered. Stress, anger, and frustration never lead to true empowerment or peace, only emotional bondage. In 1998, when I was the young mother of a small baby and a toddler,and
Choosing Calmness Amidst All the Stress Read More »
Much emotional agony is avoided and more relationship healing is possible when a person learns to listen with love. There were two similar conversations that had very different results. The first conversation was between a mother and her son. The son told his mother about a problem he was having with a friend, but she
10 Lessons for Listening With Love Read More »
As I held my 15-year-old son’s hand and watched the magic of Christmas unfold around me with lights and nativity displays at the city center, I felt that date with my son was a parent’s dream come true. Who doesn’t dream of the perfect parent/child memory? We all want them, but could our desire for
How To Create Magical Family Memories Read More »
During this time of year when there are lists of things to do and places to go, don’t forget this one simple truth: people are more important than things. People are worth more of our focus than lists. We may think that the lists of things make the holiday perfect for the people, but that
Making Any Holiday the Perfect Holiday Read More »
Some might think that optimistic people are fake or somehow disconnected from reality, but I know for a fact that positivity is one of our choices no matter what circumstances are before us. Russell Nelsontaught that our “joy has little to do with the circumstances of our lives, but everything to do with the focus
A Vow to be Positive Read More »
Family traditions instill personal and family identity and bind families together throughout their many phases of growth and change. After children and grandchildren are grown and gone off to live their adult lives, the traditions remain as reminders of the sweetness of home and family, what is most important in life, and who they really
Family Traditions that Bind or Break or Unity for Christmas Read More »
“Do you see those sweet sisters over there? They inspire me. They couldn’t be more different, but they also couldn’t be more full of love toward each other than they are,” a friend of mine pointed out to me one day about two ladies who were her good friends. She went on to explain, “One
1 Easy Way to Wrap Your Holiday Gatherings In Love Read More »
“But what if they just keep talking back and are driving me crazy,” a mother asked me while I was instructing a group of parents on how to teach their children to accept “no” answers. The mother of three told the group she knew she needed help becausesometimes she feels so crazy, or out of
Who Drives You Crazy? Read More »
Are we holding our children back?In the past 80-100 years, society has started holding children back with an artificial extension of childhood instead of empowering them forward toward purpose and adulthood. Thomas At age 12, Thomas Edison convinced his parents to allow him to leave home in order to sell newspapers to Grand Trunk Railroad
The Artificial Extension of Childhood Read More »
Remember your family meetings! Family meetings are the core of Teaching Self-Government. If you have weekly family meetings, the whole family will stay focused on their family government. See what happens when you miss a few weeks, it’s noticeable. In my home it’s especially noticeable with Dad. He has less patience and focus as a parent when we miss our family meetings.
Family Meeting Tips Read More »
Children aren’t perfect, and neither are parents. However, parenting isn’t about being perfect. And, there’s no such thing as a perfect child. Of course, perfection isn’t the goal of my parenting anyway. My goal has always been to create joyful adults. Joyful adults are those that know what their mission in life is and they’re
Parenting with Grace Read More »
I’m in need of some help with my nine-year-old son. He is a major dawdler, and always has been. I am a very efficient person and try to get things done as quickly as possible. See the conflict already? It takes gobs of time for him to do simple things like get dressed, brush teeth, eat breakfast, read his books, and other things that are very simple. He’ll start the task, but then literally just start walking around the house in circles, just doing nothing in particular except dawdling.
The 9-Year-Old Dawdler Dilemma Read More »
“I hate that I’ve been mean to my children before,” confessed a father I was speaking to recently. Instead of calmly handling difficult situations, this father had become frustrated a few times and lost his temper with his children. His voice tone and body were humble as he confessed this. He wasn’t making excuses for
Hope: Facing Toward Self-Government Read More »
If I planted a corn kernel in February, would I be disappointed when it didn’t turn into a large plant that same afternoon? Certainly not! Instead, I would get excited about the plant’s development as I waited for it to grow.
Parenting Programs: Is There a Quick Fix? Read More »
Historically, as young people approached the age of 18, they would start to spread their wings and transition into adulthood by stepping outside of their comfort zones. Sadly, times have changed. Today, many teens are feeling increasingly more inadequate to attempt adult tasks. In fact, they often don’t even feel comfortable talking to adults. In
Teen-Culture and the Land of Make Believe Read More »
Freedom in the family is the key to raising children who are freer and more independent. The problem is, most people don’t understand freedom. Many families institute complete license without consequences assuming that’s freedom and that it will lead to independent children. But in reality, it leads to emotional bondage and relationship dysfunction. Personal freedom
Raising Independent Children Read More »
I once received a note from a mother who had an eight-year-old son with obsessive tendencies. He was scared the upstairs of the house would break and drop everyone into the basement, so he constantly checked that the floor was strong enough. And this wasn’t the first time he had fixated on something. The mom was nervous because she had a family history of mental illness. Her husband wasn’t as worried because he believed most mental problems are created by a family’s discipline and relationships. He said that developing perfectionist children who govern themselves caused their son to obsess over things. She asked my advice on how to help her son through his obsessive thoughts and actions.
“Go long Porter!” said Dad to his 15-year-old son as they played Frisbee in the circle in front of our home. Dad and Porter throw Frisbees regularly in the evening. Am I mad that my husband is playing games with his son instead of helping me with the dinner preparation? No way! That play time
The Data About Dads and Child Self-Confidence Read More »
When I first decided to leave my high-paying career to stay home with my toddler son and daughter, I had to remind myself that I was picking the greater good. I was in the funeral industry and was really needed at an important time in people’s lives: the death of a loved one. I felt
From “Just a Mom” to Being Showcased on a BBC Program Read More »
Two sisters, Becky and Sara, didn’t always get along.On the day Sara got baptized, Becky approached her older sister and said, “I think it’s stupid you got baptized.”
Parents are meant to shepherd their children toward truth and safety, as well as in learning skills, in order to prepare them for the purposes of their lives. But not all shepherds are the same. Two sisters were given some sheep to care for, and a promise that the sheep would be of great value
Shepherding the Children Read More »
A woman once asked me how to motivate her 18-year-old daughter to follow instructions and work more.Her daughter found following instruction insulting, and rewards or punishments like SODAS or TV time weren’t effective. The mom didn’t know any consequences or rewards that would motivate her daughter.
Motivation problems Read More »
The multiculturalism of modern society, or desire to promote all ideas or ways of living as good, no matter their opposition to moral, religious, social, and familial cultural norms, is creating negativity and confusion when it comes to attitudes about marriage and family. People have spent their young years reading books and watching movies that
Condolences Are Not Appropriate Read More »
I once received a letter from a mom asking how she could help her daughter navigate feelings of anxiety. The daughter would take her feelings out on whatever family member was closest. The mom had pre-taught her daughter that those actions were inappropriate and worked with her to find better alternatives, but it wasn’t working.
Controlling Anger Anxiety Read More »
When my son was 12, he sang barbershop with his dad and grandpa.A few nights a week they had long rehearsals.One night, my son didn’t get to bed until midnight after a rehearsal.He slept in the next morning and realized he missed helping the Boy Scouts deliver flags for Pioneer Day.He said, “I guess I was just too tired to get up.”
Communication: More Than Talking Read More »
Many parents of teen- or pre-teen-aged youth are confused about whether teenage rebellion is an attitude problem or whether the child is displaying healthy independence. When attitude problems seem like rebellion, parents wonder if rebellion is natural or simply a modern social construct that societies now think is developmentally normal. Rebellion is as old as
Healthy Independence vs. Rebellion Read More »
In his book, “The Power of Positive Thinking,” Norman Vincent Peale shares a story of a pastor talking to a painter about worrying. “Howard, don’t you ever worry?” the pastor asked the painter. The painter laughed and said, “No, not on your life. I don’t believe in it.” The painter goes on to tell how
Worry Not – Live Happy! Read More »
“Is it okay for children to correct their parents?” I often get asked by parents who are hoping to be just in their parenting. My answer to them is, “Well, that all depends how and when it’s done. There is a right way and a wrong way to correct children, and for children to correct
4 Rules to Remember for When They Try to Correct You Read More »
“If our society is coming apart at the seams, it is because the tailor and the seamstress in the home are not producing the kind of stitching that will hold under stress. In the name of giving advantages, we have too often bartered away the real opportunities of our children.” (1981, Be Thou an Example,
Stitching That Holds the Family Together Read More »
I once heard from a mother who was struggling with her three-year-old. The girl didn’t take “No” answers well, even when they practiced. When she earned a consequence she either wouldn’tdothe chore or would holler if it was the removal of a privilege.If the mother gave her a “No” answer to anything, the girl would flop on the floor and scream. If she didn’t get what she wanted from her siblings, she would yell and hit them.She was a sweet girl, but she was also very strong-willed and determined to get her way.
Even though the mistakes our children make are glaring us in the face, we also know that each of our children has certain attributes that make them wonderful, individual, and precious to us. Charitable parents focus more on those good, productive attributes than on the negative mistakes their children make daily. Each week I answer
Charitable Parenting Read More »
A reader once wrote asking about her children, ages 2, 4, 6 and 8. The children were usually very well-behaved in situations away from home. The mom tried to expose them to different places so they would know how to behave.
Dealing with Negative Social Influences Read More »
It’s all too common in many modern households to hear sighs, grumbling, complaining and whining from children when parents give reminders of daily work responsibilities, or when additional work assignments are given to children. But, before we think this is the way children have always felt about doing work or that everyone should feel work
How to Help Kids Enjoy Doing Work! Read More »
“Calmness is the rarest quality in human life. It is the poise of a great nature, in harmony with itself and its ideals. It is the moral atmosphere of a life self-centred, self-reliant, and self- controlled. Calmness is singleness of purpose, absolute confidence, and conscious power — ready to be focused in an instant to
2/3 of the Power Behind a Change of Heart Read More »
When the famed prime minister of England, William Pitt, was asked what made him a great prime minister, he didn’t say his hard work ethic, late night hours, or perseverance. He said, “Patience.” There are many attributes that are useful to parents as they’re raising their children during this often busy world full of attitude
Surviving Mom’s Worst Day Ever! Read More »
I’ve been writing about the best practices in raising children since 2006. During this time, I’ve covered a variety of subjects, but never did I think I would end up writing about a topic like this. No matter where you live or how you choose to educate your children, this database scandal could likely affect
Public Databases Destroying “Safe Places” For Children Read More »
I once had a reader say that praising didn’t come naturally for her. In fact, she thought praising seemed fake and annoying. She wrote:
I don’t want to be a cheerleader, always saying “Good job” no matter what—I want to say things that really matter, that I really believe, that are true. I guess what makes it hard is when I know (or think I know) that I’ve taught them how to do something better than they have done it, or that they should be capable of doing some things without always having to be praised for it.
“There is no more war in my classroom, and there is no more war in my home.” Those were the words of a teacher from Kenya this summer. It was part of a parenting training I attended designed to teach Catholic leaders how to teach their families self-government skills and good communication. In the 19
Fighting Over The Judgement Seat Read More »
Several years ago, my family had a tradition of occasionally deciding we were on vacation for a week. That meant we took a break from our regular routine. We did it a few times a year to focus on getting all of the yard and garden work done. One day that we spent doing lots of yard work is particularly memorable, not because of what we accomplished in the garden, but because of what happened with my children.
Sometimes They Figure It Out Themselves Read More »
Janae and Trisha both have a 12-year-old son who has a habit of being defiant. Each woman struggles with having the confidence to help her son change his behaviors during his outbursts. So why is Trisha’s son making so much more progress on staying calm and listening to her than Janae’s? Why is Trisha’s confidence
Love of Instructions and Reproof Read More »
