Children (4-10)

When Full Lives Become Too Full: The Hidden Cost of Over-Scheduling Our Children

By Nicholeen Peck A few years ago, a mother sat across from me with tears in her eyes, not because her fifteen year old daughter was failing, acting out, or spiraling emotionally, but because something unexpectedly beautiful had happened. Her daughter was doing everything right. Cheerleading. After school clubs. Leadership programs. Volunteer hours. Music lessons. […]

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Why Parents Should Correct Their Children More Often

By Nicholeen Peck In today’s parenting culture, many well-meaning parents find themselves caught in a troubling trend. Messages from modern progressive or passive parenting philosophies often warn that correcting children too often can harm their self-esteem, make parents seem controlling, or create negative interactions at home. Parents are urged to “choose their battles,” “let children

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The Inevitable Behavioral Tight Spot That Parents Must Face

By Nicholeen Peck While visiting a young mother’s home I saw a touching scene unfold. The mother was calmly guiding her spirited three-year-old daughter through a meltdown over not getting her preferred snack. The little girl’s arms were crossed tightly, and her face was scrunched in pure toddler defiance. Rather than give in or match

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Raising Boys Into Good Men: Why Mentorship Matters Now More Than Ever

By Nicholeen Peck In a world full of noise, distractions, and digital pull, our boys are quietly falling behind. Not because they’re less capable or less valuable than girls, but because society has shifted its focus—and in doing so, has left many boys without the guidance they need to truly grow into the men God

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The Contagious Cycle of Thankfulness

By Nicholeen Peck Challenges happen to us all. But as Russell M. Nelson said, “Success has less to do with the circumstances of your life, and more to do with the focus of your life.” What we choose to focus on has the power to shape not only how we see our circumstances but also

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Home Power – The Solution to Social Ills

by Nicholeen Peck Society, with all its innovations and intricacies, has lost the vision of home power. With social and political upheaval happening around the globe, parents wonder how to raise up a new generation of people who can set things straight, get society back on track toward goodness, diplomacy, truth, and healthy problem solving.

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“I’m Sorry” Shows A Lot

by Nicholeen Peck In the past week, I’ve received multiple apology texts from friends related to a variety of topics. Two apology texts stick out to me more than the others. One apology was clearly for social posturing. The person was sending it because they knew that they looked bad to others and didn’t want

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Correcting Behavior Vs Understanding Personality

by Nicholeen Peck Discerning between when a child should be corrected and when a child’s personality should simply be understood can be difficult for many parents, because personalities and behaviors are different, but can sometimes seem similar. So what is the difference between personality and behavior, and how can parents prepare for meaningful interactions to

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How To Talk To Your Kids | Bridging The Information Gap

by Nicholeen Peck Parents have to navigate some pretty tough topics in our modern world. These topics range from sibling rivalry and disconnection from parents to addictions, romance, drugs, spiritual skepticism, digital usage, and social dilemmas. Parents frequently ask me questions such as, “What should I say to my son about his girlfriend who is

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Punishment and Parental Authority

by Nicholeen Peck Punishment is a topic that evokes much debate. In the Bible we are told that the Lord loves those whom He chastens, and that enduring chastening brings us closer to God (Hebrews 12). In Webster’s 1828 Dictionary the word chasten means “correct by punishment…to purify from errors or faults.” But, to punish

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Vital Focus For Improving Family Togetherness In A Disconnected World

by Nicholeen Peck Ironically, in an age when business communications and social networking are easier than ever due to technological advances and global platforms, families are struggling more than ever to feel connected as groups. When the problems facing families seem endless and intricate there is one principle that we must keep in mind. “Our

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Increase Confidence by Telling Yourself “No”

by Nicholeen Peck Many parents want their children to learn to take responsibility for themselves: to learn self-government. A self-governed person, no matter the age, will be able to show the following characteristics. They can: give themselves instructions, follow through on commitments, accept the consequences of life, talk openly with people, discuss a difference of

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Mindset Makes or Breaks Family Bonds

“My daughter is so ungrateful! All I do is serve her, but she doesn’t care about me or what I feel. And, she never helps out, even when I ask nicely,” an exasperated mother told me about her teenage daughter. In a later conversation, Emily, the daughter said to me, “I never get anything my

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Where Love Is…

Love runs deeper than many people realize, and the outcomes of love are significant. We all recognize when we don’t feel loved or when we have a hard time feeling love for someone who isn’t behaving lovingly. But, what we don’t often recognize is that love isn’t something that can be turned on and off

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Practice Good Relationships This Christmas

It may seem trite and slightly overused to say it, but the old adage, “Make every day Christmas,” has more power than you might think. In fact, maybe, just maybe, the way to have life feel like Christmas every day is to truly live the spirit of Christmas in our relationships at Christmas time. Practicing

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Parents Want To Rescue Their Youth From Confusion

Nearly every day parents ask me how to help their “wayward young adult” or how to heal the heart of their “disconnected teen.” Children displaying unnatural affection by disconnecting from loving parents is an epidemic in our modern society. Normal human development involves increasingly seeking for autonomy as a person launches into adulthood. However, turning

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7 Tips For Reducing Stress and Anxiety In Children

Families are concerned about their children who are struggling with stress and anxiety. Why are stress and anxiety so prevalent nowadays, and what can families do to help in loving ways? Understanding Stress and Anxiety Stress and anxiety are real feelings that many children suffer with daily. According to Georgetown University Health Policy Institute Center

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Two Ways To Guide Youth Toward Purposeful Living

An exasperated mother said to me, “My teenager doesn’t like to work hard. She expects everything in life to be easy. How do I teach her to like work?” “Do you like work?” I asked the mother. “Most people who don’t see value in work, or don’t like work, are taught somewhere along the way

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The Vocabulary Gap And Its Effect On Families

When people don’t speak the same language, it’s hard to understand each other. Likewise, when parents and children don’t speak the same language, then they can become disconnected because of lack of understanding. Understanding creates a feeling of respect and bonding in relationships and is a vital component to creating family unity and solving family

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4 Steps For Increasing Your Patience

Some people seem to be naturally patient, while others seem to struggle with increasing patience because of their strong/hard natures or how they were nurtured. However, when patience is more understood, we all might find that we’re taking more steps toward patience than we think we are. And, if we keep taking those steps, then

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Being Your Child’s Safe Place

It’s currently commonplace to see youth aggressively confronting adults when, not too long ago, that behavior would never have been condoned. And, sadly this aggressive behavior is being misinterpreted as behavior necessary for the emotional safety of the child. If parents want to be the ‘safe place’ for their child, then it’s vital that they

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Self-Governed People Train Their Focus Forward

“I think I ruined my child,” a mother told me in desperation as she explained some of the behavior problems and disconnection problems her teenage son was having. She was being honest with herself about mistakes that she might have made in her son’s upbringing. My heart ached for her. She might have unknowingly done

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When Things Don’t Go Your Way…

As nice as it would be to have complete control over outcomes, it isn’t humanly possible. Cause and effect is a principle of life that we can usually rely upon, but sometimes there seems to be another will for our days and experiences that turns our plans upside down. Sometimes these unexpected turns can create

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Children & Teens Want to Know More From Parents: Teaching Discernment

It sometimes seems like teens don’t want to listen to adults tell them what to do or not to do, but in reality, teens and children are always hoping that adults will teach them discernment. When a person doesn’t know who to follow or what to believe morally, then that person ends up feeling lost

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Obedience To Parents Changes Hearts

As part of learning cause and effect and growing into healthy adulthood, most children occasionally test boundaries by willfully choosing disobedience or even rebelling against parents. While taking risks and being a little bit rebellious here and there are usually healthy signs of normal development toward adulthood, obedience is required for wisdom and learning, too.

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The Death of Diplomacy And The Impact On Children

Diplomacy is dying. MSN’s Feb 18, 2022 article called, “Is This The Year Of The Angry Parent? The GOP Hopes So,” talked about how parent anger about masks and social issues was helping the GOP and causing a problem. Yahoo News declared, “A parents’ revolt is currently sweeping the nation,” in their Feb 18, 2022

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From TV-Addicted to Time Together!

Sharon and Michael always enjoyed their downtime in the evenings watching DIY, design, and food programs. They felt like their time together as a young married couple was meaningful and educational since they both loved creative projects, and they got the “downtime” they needed at the end their busy workdays. This nightly ritual quickly became

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4 Simple Steps For Helping Youth Find Purpose In Life

Our youth are stuck in a social vortex that’s forever spinning ideas past them but never leading them to truth. Every person has an inborn desire to know why they are here, where they are going, and what life’s all about. Scientists and socialists, as well as academics and activists, all attempt to promote purpose

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One Easy Way To Increase Emotional Maturity In Children

Sadly, teaching strategies for proper social and emotional health are often unorganized and conflicting. Parents are left feeling like they need to choose between teaching children to have self-control and teaching children to be emotionally heard. These choices seem like opposites to most people. But, to a person who has true emotional intelligence, both of

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Children, The Sexual Target?

We can’t afford to serve two masters anymore because our children’s hearts and minds are a prize to be won. For years now, society and media have dually honored both animalistic sexual license as well as humanely nurturing the innocence of children and admiring the goodness of God. Unsurprisingly, basic nurturing and some of God’s

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A Global Need For Authentic Grandparents

Authentic grandparents who actively engage with their children and grandchildren establish a foundation of security and hope for the younger generations that can’t be found elsewhere. Grandpa had a boat and regularly took me and the rest of his large family out for rides and on water-skiing trips. These were fun memories, but one boating

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Combating the Loneliness Epidemic

When was the last time you felt lonely? In order to thrive during these socially unusual times, and even times that aren’t unusual at all, it’s important to understand the difference between being alone and experiencing real loneliness, and what we can do to combat the loneliness epidemic that seems to be sweeping many countries.

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Are You Teaching Children Discernment?

An online school teacher was recently giving me the highlights of his career. He proudly told me that his favorite part of his job was that he gets to teach children discernment. I could see how this would be exciting for him but was also instantly concerned. A series of “what if” questions came to

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Helping Children Deal With Offensive Situations

“That girl was so rude!” a girl about age 12 said to her mother as she skated off of the roller rink. Immediately her mother started toward the mother of the “rude” girl to tell her to control her daughter and to tell the daughter to apologize for her unkindness. This mother clearly loved and

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Raising Daughters Into Strong Women A Different Way

My views have changed. During my teen and young adult years, I thought that women needed to do everything men did, and women did, in order to be strong. But, now that I have seen every dimension of womanhood firsthand, I see that my views of women and myself lacked depth and understanding when I

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Stand Out & Speak Up – Self-Government Principles For Our Day! (Curriculum)

Parents and school administrators have requested that I make a short, free curriculum that parents can use to help their children navigate some of the social issues children are often forced to encounter at young ages. This curriculum is basic but deep, and it’s a principle-based lesson plan to help parents prepare their children to

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Mixed Messages About Anxiety & Fragility

The subject of anxiety can be confusing. Anxiety seems to be part of everyday conversation these days. I’ve heard some people shake their heads and call anxiety a “contagious, modern epidemic,” and yet I’ve seen many real, intense anxiety attacks that leave people worn out and hopeless. Some people say that anxiety is something a

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Is Critical Race Theory Hurting Our Children?

Chris W. shared this shocking story with me about his experience last week with his son at a California park. “My son and I were playing soccer at a park in the bay area of California. Multiple African American boys came up to my son and started punching him in the head for no reason.

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3 Ways to Deepen Family Bonds and Increase Emotional Understanding

There is a myth that parents from past generations didn’t understand or care about the feelings of their children as much as they should have or as much as modern parents do. This isn’t true. I’m never a fan of putting whole generations of people into boxes just because there are a few horror stories.

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Preparation —The Long View of Parenting

“I don’t have the time to catch every little thing the kids do. I run a business, I have a large family, and I homeschool. Isn’t there an easier way to stop the bad behaviors than having to correct every one of them? I think I need the condensed, quicker approach to parenting,” said Gwen,

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Hurting or Helping Children | The Battle For Hearts And Loyalties

Think of the voices that surround our children. Voices leading children to love money, God, family, power, popularity, prestige, entitlement, activism, intellectual achievement, personal worth, truth, pleasure-seeking, time wasting, productivity, industry, judgment, despair, and more. It’s easy to see how some of these voices mislead and hurt a child’s potential. Yet, these voices oftentimes come

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Emotional Power Vs Emotional Bondage

A teenage girl talking back to her mother in an airport about her emotions said, “We have to let our emotions out. I’m being true to myself. I won’t stuff my emotions just because you don’t want to hear them!” The mother, who had told her daughter that she couldn’t use her phone anymore, was

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Narcissism, The New Normal?

Even though there seems to be more self-absorbed people around us than ever before, calling someone a narcissist may miss the mark. In fact, many people who seem to possess narcissistic behavior, might just be prideful. There is a difference. People all over the world share their relationship struggles and personal development goals with me

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“I Love You No Matter What”

Children need to feel love from their parents more than ever before. And, our neighbors need love too. That unconditional, deep and abiding love will help our children weather the storms of life. Love is the truth that fills the soul and gives life hope and meaning. Maybe, during this time of social and political

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The Dignity of Work & The Will to Choose It

Think about Santa. He works all day every day without pay to get ready for one exciting night when he works harder than he has ever worked before in order to bring happiness. Think about Jesus. He worked every day of His mortal ministry; teaching, leading, healing, walking, serving others, and travailing to prepare Him

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Where We Give Our Attention Matters Most

When I was a little girl, my brothers used to tease me. Every time I was teased or called names by them, I allowed myself to become emotional. One day when I was upset, my father said to me, “Nicholeen, if you don’t let the teasing work, then it won’t be fun for them and

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How To Love a Disobedient or Wayward Child

“Is it too late for me and my child?” a single mother of a 17-year-old daughter asked me after telling me how her daughter won’t listen to her or talk to her, and is going against all the standards of her home. Just like so many other parents, this mother wanted to know if learning

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Good Triggers vs. Bad Triggers and Calm Communication Skills

Have you ever completely lost control of yourself and you weren’t exactly sure why? This can happen to anyone. This usually means that you’ve been triggered in some way. There’s so much talk about emotional triggers nowadays that triggers are turning into common excuses for poor behavior. Could it be that we might sometimes be

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Giving Your Family A Reason to Care About Family

Shut down doesn’t have to feel like shut down! Due to current restrictions caused by COVID-19, many families aren’t traveling as much as they normally do this time of year. Even local activities in many areas are still difficult to enjoy because of closures. But, that doesn’t mean we should stop having fun as a

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Talking About Nothing: Is It Healthy?

Our family loves games! We play card games, board games, outdoor games, sports, and imagination games. Sometimes we have conversations about games we play, but most of the time we talk about things of more substance such as family, improving relationships, truths we’ve found, books we’ve read, experiences we’ve had, memories we share, family history,

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They Don’t Want to Disappoint You

When teaching and training children, many parents don’t often think about the heart and bond of the child, and how the child is processing what the parent does and says. Since children often misunderstand us and situations, then relationship disconnections occur. Parents are more dedicated to the spiritual, social, and academic success of their children

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Simple Solutions for Lack of Motivation Problems

A mother recently asked me how to help her daughter feel motivated to do anything besides sit around the house. She isn’t alone. With the new quarantine lifestyle, many families are thriving with the increase of family time, personal time, and relationship-building. But, even the most involved parents can still find that their child might

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Choosing Calmness Amidst All the Stress

Why do we cater to our stresses and forget to choose calmness? After all, calmness is the only state where we truly feel safe and empowered. Stress, anger, and frustration never lead to true empowerment or peace, only emotional bondage. In 1998, when I was the young mother of a small baby and a toddler,and

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Carving Out More Family Quality Time in a Fast-Paced World

Creating quality, loving family relationships requires discerning between what actions are really quality and what actions are nothing more than conformity to social norms. Creating these quality relationships doesn’t require elaborate planning, just time. Strong family relationships are built upon many components, such as good communication, honesty, trust, love, forgiveness, bonding, listening, shared vision, and

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10 Lessons for Listening With Love

Much emotional agony is avoided and more relationship healing is possible when a person learns to listen with love. There were two similar conversations that had very different results. The first conversation was between a mother and her son. The son told his mother about a problem he was having with a friend, but she

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How To Create Magical Family Memories

As I held my 15-year-old son’s hand and watched the magic of Christmas unfold around me with lights and nativity displays at the city center, I felt that date with my son was a parent’s dream come true. Who doesn’t dream of the perfect parent/child memory? We all want them, but could our desire for

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Making Any Holiday the Perfect Holiday

During this time of year when there are lists of things to do and places to go, don’t forget this one simple truth: people are more important than things. People are worth more of our focus than lists. We may think that the lists of things make the holiday perfect for the people, but that

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The Artificial Extension of Childhood

Are we holding our children back?In the past 80-100 years, society has started holding children back with an artificial extension of childhood instead of empowering them forward toward purpose and adulthood. Thomas At age 12, Thomas Edison convinced his parents to allow him to leave home in order to sell newspapers to Grand Trunk Railroad

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The 9-Year-Old Dawdler Dilemma

I’m in need of some help with my nine-year-old son. He is a major dawdler, and always has been. I am a very efficient person and try to get things done as quickly as possible. See the conflict already? It takes gobs of time for him to do simple things like get dressed, brush teeth, eat breakfast, read his books, and other things that are very simple. He’ll start the task, but then literally just start walking around the house in circles, just doing nothing in particular except dawdling.

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Raising Independent Children

Freedom in the family is the key to raising children who are freer and more independent. The problem is, most people don’t understand freedom. Many families institute complete license without consequences assuming that’s freedom and that it will lead to independent children. But in reality, it leads to emotional bondage and relationship dysfunction. Personal freedom

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What Your Mother Really Wants

Recently, while texting with my oldest son, he asked, “Hey, what do you want for Mother’s Day?” I shouldn’t really admit that I don’t like those kinds of questions, but the truth is I don’t. Maybe it’s because my love language isn’t gifts, or maybe it’s because I never know what to say. The most

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4 Rules to Remember for When They Try to Correct You

“Is it okay for children to correct their parents?” I often get asked by parents who are hoping to be just in their parenting. My answer to them is, “Well, that all depends how and when it’s done. There is a right way and a wrong way to correct children, and for children to correct

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Stitching That Holds the Family Together

“If our society is coming apart at the seams, it is because the tailor and the seamstress in the home are not producing the kind of stitching that will hold under stress. In the name of giving advantages, we have too often bartered away the real opportunities of our children.” (1981, Be Thou an Example,

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Charitable Parenting

Even though the mistakes our children make are glaring us in the face, we also know that each of our children has certain attributes that make them wonderful, individual, and precious to us. Charitable parents focus more on those good, productive attributes than on the negative mistakes their children make daily. Each week I answer

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How to Help Kids Enjoy Doing Work!

It’s all too common in many modern households to hear sighs, grumbling, complaining and whining from children when parents give reminders of daily work responsibilities, or when additional work assignments are given to children. But, before we think this is the way children have always felt about doing work or that everyone should feel work

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Grace is Behind the Thanks: Just Ask Mom

This Thanksgiving Day is dedicated to feeling and expressing gratitude for our blessings. Are you grateful for who you are and the roles you have? Two Mothers Two mothers, Tina and Katy, are watching the ball game of their oldest sons. Their boys play for the same team. Each mother has other children busily running

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2/3 of the Power Behind a Change of Heart

“Calmness is the rarest quality in human life. It is the poise of a great nature, in harmony with itself and its ideals. It is the moral atmosphere of a life self-centred, self-reliant, and self- controlled. Calmness is singleness of purpose, absolute confidence, and conscious power — ready to be focused in an instant to

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Strong Families Create a Halloween Sanctuary for Children

When today’s parents were children, the costume was all about sticking out individually. But today’s young people and families are leaning more and more toward theme costumes. Why is this? Well, modern youth and families are more about togetherness than their parent’s generation. Also, the youth seem to recognize the power of community and/or the

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Public Databases Destroying “Safe Places” For Children

I’ve been writing about the best practices in raising children since 2006. During this time, I’ve covered a variety of subjects, but never did I think I would end up writing about a topic like this. No matter where you live or how you choose to educate your children, this database scandal could likely affect

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Fighting Over The Judgement Seat

“There is no more war in my classroom, and there is no more war in my home.” Those were the words of a teacher from Kenya this summer. It was part of a parenting training I attended designed to teach Catholic leaders how to teach their families self-government skills and good communication. In the 19

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Love of Instructions and Reproof

Janae and Trisha both have a 12-year-old son who has a habit of being defiant. Each woman struggles with having the confidence to help her son change his behaviors during his outbursts. So why is Trisha’s son making so much more progress on staying calm and listening to her than Janae’s? Why is Trisha’s confidence

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They’re Caught in the Moral Middle

Today’s children are caught in the middle of multiple moral battle zones. You could even say that children’s moral battles are divorcing them from their parents. One of the most common characteristics of a child with divorced parents is that the child feels pulled between the parents’ different values and lifestyles. It’s common for husbands

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What Children Think of Negative Consequences

I recently asked a group of 10-year-old children what kinds of negative consequences their families have. “At our house, we sweep the floor and clean,” said one boy. “Mom gets mad and goes into a bad mood,” said another boy. “Mom used to send us to time out, but we don’t do that anymore,” said

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What Will You Sacrifice?

Sacrifice is vital for happiness. Most people think the word “sacrifice” is bad and sounds like a hardship, not a joyful journey. Happiness sounds much better! But without giving up some of our indulgences, excuses and time wasters, it’s difficult to accomplish the things that bring the most happiness, like fulfilling our roles as parents

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How Many Times Do We Have to Talk About the Phone?

No matter the amount of technology that’s developed to filter devices in order to keep children from viewing objectionable material, the mental, physical and spiritual risks of digital devices facing children have never been greater. Note: In this article I’m using the word “phone” liberally to mean all digital devices that are in regular use

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Trade Time for Anger: Find Calmness and Patience

“You never can tell with bees,” said A.A. Milne’s cherished character Winne-the-Pooh. This was Pooh Bear’s naive way of saying he didn’t understand why bees did the things they did. He made his best guesses, but he always seemed to guess wrong and find himself in a prickled gorse bush — instead of feasting on

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Always Stay Consistent with Consequences Earned

“Yesterday my 8 year old was grumpy when asked to do something, so he earned a negative consequence. I asked him to choose a job from the job jar.I explained that the job would help him change his heart.He then got very cheerful and said he was sorry for being grumpy… and wanted to be allowed to not do the job because he had changed (after all, he reasoned, the attitude was the reason for the extra job).

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How to Reach the Heart of Your Child… and Yourself

Reaching a child’s heart is vital for awakening his conscience and morally training him to desire to make good choices, but structure also has a part to play in training the heart. This is a true story, and a new parenting lesson, of how to help a person understand the truths behind your teachings. Structure

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The Illusion of Innocence Facing Today’s Children

In a world full of sexual depravity, diverse addictions, familial dysfunction, lascivious social platforms, manipulative media, and irate people of all ages, is it possible to even hope for our children to have an innocent upbringing? A routine trip through a store like Walmart, for example, can start a child’s brain processing in sexual and

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What Is Destroying Family Bonding?

There is an international parent/child bonding problem. The world has never seen a global lack of parent/child attachment like this before. Of course, there are factors leading to this detachment, factors that the world has also never seen before. Are we experimenting on our families and children and calling it good leadership? Have we given

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10 Ways to Create Stories That Unite Us

My son, Porter, loves to visit a restaurant near our home named “Porter’s Place”. Recently our family was eating there around a big round table and one of the children said, “Dad, tell us that story from your childhood about the fire you shouldn’t have started in the field near your home.” At this point

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A Letter of Hope From a Mother To Her Children

It might seem unusual to share this personal letter publicly, but I felt many mothers and fathers could relate. My two oldest children have recently left from home. The combination of those events, the ongoing negative messaging about motherhood and families, as well as a few positive events (like the upcoming Mom’s March), inspired me

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Lest We Forget: The Vision of Educating Young People

This is the time of year the focus of the world is on education and preparing our children to learn and grow toward success. We enroll the children in classes, schools, programs and activities in hopes they will get an education to prepare them for the future. Is our current educational plan adequate for the

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Modern Times Call for Pioneering Parenting

Bethany, a troubled parent, recently shared a shocking story that all too often illustrates what parents nowadays are dealing with: “After we caught our 11-year-old son sending pornographic photos of himself to strangers on Snapchat, we took his phone away. We told him he could have it back in a couple of weeks, but that

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10 things kids think about

10 Thoughts Children Have That Might Surprise Parents

“He’s not breathing really well, and they tell us he’ll likely die in a day or two…” a mother was explaining to a group of adults about her father-in-law, and her young son’s grandpa. Her son was sitting in an adjacent room with his good friend, but he wasn’t playing as his mother likely thought

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sibling rivalry

6 Steps for Making Siblings Friends, Not Foes

One night, after my parents left to go on a date, my brother and I started fighting. I vividly remember the fight getting to the point where both of us were standing on a couch threatening each other with broomsticks. This sad memory changed me. Many times over the years I’ve had that memory return,

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