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When Full Lives Become Too Full: The Hidden Cost of Over-Scheduling Our Children

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Health, Home Culture, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Youth (10-18) /

By Nicholeen Peck A few years ago, a mother sat across from me with tears in her eyes, not because her fifteen year old daughter was failing, acting out, or spiraling emotionally, but because something unexpectedly beautiful had happened. Her daughter was doing everything right. Cheerleading. After school clubs. Leadership programs. Volunteer hours. Music lessons. […]

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Why Parents Should Correct Their Children More Often

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By Nicholeen Peck In today’s parenting culture, many well-meaning parents find themselves caught in a troubling trend. Messages from modern progressive or passive parenting philosophies often warn that correcting children too often can harm their self-esteem, make parents seem controlling, or create negative interactions at home. Parents are urged to “choose their battles,” “let children

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The Inevitable Behavioral Tight Spot That Parents Must Face

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

By Nicholeen Peck While visiting a young mother’s home I saw a touching scene unfold. The mother was calmly guiding her spirited three-year-old daughter through a meltdown over not getting her preferred snack. The little girl’s arms were crossed tightly, and her face was scrunched in pure toddler defiance. Rather than give in or match

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The Contagious Cycle of Thankfulness

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By Nicholeen Peck Challenges happen to us all. But as Russell M. Nelson said, “Success has less to do with the circumstances of your life, and more to do with the focus of your life.” What we choose to focus on has the power to shape not only how we see our circumstances but also

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Comfort Zones | Why Kids Need Someone To Push Them

Leave a Comment / Education, Home Culture, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

by Nicholeen Peck “I’m scared” said two year old Clara when her uncle Porter was encouraging her to learn some swimming techniques while on a family trip. “You’re okay. I’m right here. You can do it.” Porter said. Clara fought the process a bit, but Porter wouldn’t be deterred. He knew that she was completely

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Home Power – The Solution to Social Ills

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), Youth (10-18) /

by Nicholeen Peck Society, with all its innovations and intricacies, has lost the vision of home power. With social and political upheaval happening around the globe, parents wonder how to raise up a new generation of people who can set things straight, get society back on track toward goodness, diplomacy, truth, and healthy problem solving.

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“I’m Sorry” Shows A Lot

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by Nicholeen Peck In the past week, I’ve received multiple apology texts from friends related to a variety of topics. Two apology texts stick out to me more than the others. One apology was clearly for social posturing. The person was sending it because they knew that they looked bad to others and didn’t want

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Correcting Behavior Vs Understanding Personality

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

by Nicholeen Peck Discerning between when a child should be corrected and when a child’s personality should simply be understood can be difficult for many parents, because personalities and behaviors are different, but can sometimes seem similar. So what is the difference between personality and behavior, and how can parents prepare for meaningful interactions to

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How To Talk To Your Kids | Bridging The Information Gap

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by Nicholeen Peck Parents have to navigate some pretty tough topics in our modern world. These topics range from sibling rivalry and disconnection from parents to addictions, romance, drugs, spiritual skepticism, digital usage, and social dilemmas. Parents frequently ask me questions such as, “What should I say to my son about his girlfriend who is

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Punishment and Parental Authority

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by Nicholeen Peck Punishment is a topic that evokes much debate. In the Bible we are told that the Lord loves those whom He chastens, and that enduring chastening brings us closer to God (Hebrews 12). In Webster’s 1828 Dictionary the word chasten means “correct by punishment…to purify from errors or faults.” But, to punish

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Vital Focus For Improving Family Togetherness In A Disconnected World

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by Nicholeen Peck Ironically, in an age when business communications and social networking are easier than ever due to technological advances and global platforms, families are struggling more than ever to feel connected as groups. When the problems facing families seem endless and intricate there is one principle that we must keep in mind. “Our

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Increase Confidence by Telling Yourself “No”

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Home Culture, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

by Nicholeen Peck Many parents want their children to learn to take responsibility for themselves: to learn self-government. A self-governed person, no matter the age, will be able to show the following characteristics. They can: give themselves instructions, follow through on commitments, accept the consequences of life, talk openly with people, discuss a difference of

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Clara sitting calmly on stairs

Self-Regulation Skills for All Ages —Even Toddlers!

Leave a Comment / Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

by Nicholeen Peck As parents, my husband and I hope that our children will succeed as parents. My daughter, Paije, has exceeded my parenting expectations with her little toddler daughter, Clara. The skills that Paije has taught Clara to help her do self-regulation and self-calming are good skills for 21-month-olds, however, these self-government skills that

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Mindset Makes or Breaks Family Bonds

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“My daughter is so ungrateful! All I do is serve her, but she doesn’t care about me or what I feel. And, she never helps out, even when I ask nicely,” an exasperated mother told me about her teenage daughter. In a later conversation, Emily, the daughter said to me, “I never get anything my

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Where Love Is…

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

Love runs deeper than many people realize, and the outcomes of love are significant. We all recognize when we don’t feel loved or when we have a hard time feeling love for someone who isn’t behaving lovingly. But, what we don’t often recognize is that love isn’t something that can be turned on and off

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Practice Good Relationships This Christmas

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

It may seem trite and slightly overused to say it, but the old adage, “Make every day Christmas,” has more power than you might think. In fact, maybe, just maybe, the way to have life feel like Christmas every day is to truly live the spirit of Christmas in our relationships at Christmas time. Practicing

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7 Tips For Reducing Stress and Anxiety In Children

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, School, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

Families are concerned about their children who are struggling with stress and anxiety. Why are stress and anxiety so prevalent nowadays, and what can families do to help in loving ways? Understanding Stress and Anxiety Stress and anxiety are real feelings that many children suffer with daily. According to Georgetown University Health Policy Institute Center

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Two Ways To Guide Youth Toward Purposeful Living

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

An exasperated mother said to me, “My teenager doesn’t like to work hard. She expects everything in life to be easy. How do I teach her to like work?” “Do you like work?” I asked the mother. “Most people who don’t see value in work, or don’t like work, are taught somewhere along the way

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The Vocabulary Gap And Its Effect On Families

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When people don’t speak the same language, it’s hard to understand each other. Likewise, when parents and children don’t speak the same language, then they can become disconnected because of lack of understanding. Understanding creates a feeling of respect and bonding in relationships and is a vital component to creating family unity and solving family

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4 Steps For Increasing Your Patience

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, School, Teen Podcast, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

Some people seem to be naturally patient, while others seem to struggle with increasing patience because of their strong/hard natures or how they were nurtured. However, when patience is more understood, we all might find that we’re taking more steps toward patience than we think we are. And, if we keep taking those steps, then

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Being Your Child’s Safe Place

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

It’s currently commonplace to see youth aggressively confronting adults when, not too long ago, that behavior would never have been condoned. And, sadly this aggressive behavior is being misinterpreted as behavior necessary for the emotional safety of the child. If parents want to be the ‘safe place’ for their child, then it’s vital that they

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Self-Governed People Train Their Focus Forward

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Home Culture, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

“I think I ruined my child,” a mother told me in desperation as she explained some of the behavior problems and disconnection problems her teenage son was having. She was being honest with herself about mistakes that she might have made in her son’s upbringing. My heart ached for her. She might have unknowingly done

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When Things Don’t Go Your Way…

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

As nice as it would be to have complete control over outcomes, it isn’t humanly possible. Cause and effect is a principle of life that we can usually rely upon, but sometimes there seems to be another will for our days and experiences that turns our plans upside down. Sometimes these unexpected turns can create

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Children & Teens Want to Know More From Parents: Teaching Discernment

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

It sometimes seems like teens don’t want to listen to adults tell them what to do or not to do, but in reality, teens and children are always hoping that adults will teach them discernment. When a person doesn’t know who to follow or what to believe morally, then that person ends up feeling lost

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Obedience To Parents Changes Hearts

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

As part of learning cause and effect and growing into healthy adulthood, most children occasionally test boundaries by willfully choosing disobedience or even rebelling against parents. While taking risks and being a little bit rebellious here and there are usually healthy signs of normal development toward adulthood, obedience is required for wisdom and learning, too.

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The Death of Diplomacy And The Impact On Children

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Diplomacy is dying. MSN’s Feb 18, 2022 article called, “Is This The Year Of The Angry Parent? The GOP Hopes So,” talked about how parent anger about masks and social issues was helping the GOP and causing a problem. Yahoo News declared, “A parents’ revolt is currently sweeping the nation,” in their Feb 18, 2022

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From TV-Addicted to Time Together!

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

Sharon and Michael always enjoyed their downtime in the evenings watching DIY, design, and food programs. They felt like their time together as a young married couple was meaningful and educational since they both loved creative projects, and they got the “downtime” they needed at the end their busy workdays. This nightly ritual quickly became

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4 Simple Steps For Helping Youth Find Purpose In Life

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Our youth are stuck in a social vortex that’s forever spinning ideas past them but never leading them to truth. Every person has an inborn desire to know why they are here, where they are going, and what life’s all about. Scientists and socialists, as well as academics and activists, all attempt to promote purpose

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One Easy Way To Increase Emotional Maturity In Children

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, School, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

Sadly, teaching strategies for proper social and emotional health are often unorganized and conflicting. Parents are left feeling like they need to choose between teaching children to have self-control and teaching children to be emotionally heard. These choices seem like opposites to most people. But, to a person who has true emotional intelligence, both of

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Children, The Sexual Target?

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, School, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

We can’t afford to serve two masters anymore because our children’s hearts and minds are a prize to be won. For years now, society and media have dually honored both animalistic sexual license as well as humanely nurturing the innocence of children and admiring the goodness of God. Unsurprisingly, basic nurturing and some of God’s

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A Global Need For Authentic Grandparents

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

Authentic grandparents who actively engage with their children and grandchildren establish a foundation of security and hope for the younger generations that can’t be found elsewhere. Grandpa had a boat and regularly took me and the rest of his large family out for rides and on water-skiing trips. These were fun memories, but one boating

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Combating the Loneliness Epidemic

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When was the last time you felt lonely? In order to thrive during these socially unusual times, and even times that aren’t unusual at all, it’s important to understand the difference between being alone and experiencing real loneliness, and what we can do to combat the loneliness epidemic that seems to be sweeping many countries.

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Are You Teaching Children Discernment?

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, School, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

An online school teacher was recently giving me the highlights of his career. He proudly told me that his favorite part of his job was that he gets to teach children discernment. I could see how this would be exciting for him but was also instantly concerned. A series of “what if” questions came to

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Helping Children Deal With Offensive Situations

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

“That girl was so rude!” a girl about age 12 said to her mother as she skated off of the roller rink. Immediately her mother started toward the mother of the “rude” girl to tell her to control her daughter and to tell the daughter to apologize for her unkindness. This mother clearly loved and

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Raising Daughters Into Strong Women A Different Way

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My views have changed. During my teen and young adult years, I thought that women needed to do everything men did, and women did, in order to be strong. But, now that I have seen every dimension of womanhood firsthand, I see that my views of women and myself lacked depth and understanding when I

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Stand Out & Speak Up – Self-Government Principles For Our Day! (Curriculum)

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, School, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

Parents and school administrators have requested that I make a short, free curriculum that parents can use to help their children navigate some of the social issues children are often forced to encounter at young ages. This curriculum is basic but deep, and it’s a principle-based lesson plan to help parents prepare their children to

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Mixed Messages About Anxiety & Fragility

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The subject of anxiety can be confusing. Anxiety seems to be part of everyday conversation these days. I’ve heard some people shake their heads and call anxiety a “contagious, modern epidemic,” and yet I’ve seen many real, intense anxiety attacks that leave people worn out and hopeless. Some people say that anxiety is something a

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Is Critical Race Theory Hurting Our Children?

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, School, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

Chris W. shared this shocking story with me about his experience last week with his son at a California park. “My son and I were playing soccer at a park in the bay area of California. Multiple African American boys came up to my son and started punching him in the head for no reason.

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3 Ways to Deepen Family Bonds and Increase Emotional Understanding

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

There is a myth that parents from past generations didn’t understand or care about the feelings of their children as much as they should have or as much as modern parents do. This isn’t true. I’m never a fan of putting whole generations of people into boxes just because there are a few horror stories.

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Preparation —The Long View of Parenting

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Home Culture, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

“I don’t have the time to catch every little thing the kids do. I run a business, I have a large family, and I homeschool. Isn’t there an easier way to stop the bad behaviors than having to correct every one of them? I think I need the condensed, quicker approach to parenting,” said Gwen,

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Hurting or Helping Children | The Battle For Hearts And Loyalties

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, School, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

Think of the voices that surround our children. Voices leading children to love money, God, family, power, popularity, prestige, entitlement, activism, intellectual achievement, personal worth, truth, pleasure-seeking, time wasting, productivity, industry, judgment, despair, and more. It’s easy to see how some of these voices mislead and hurt a child’s potential. Yet, these voices oftentimes come

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Emotional Power Vs Emotional Bondage

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

A teenage girl talking back to her mother in an airport about her emotions said, “We have to let our emotions out. I’m being true to myself. I won’t stuff my emotions just because you don’t want to hear them!” The mother, who had told her daughter that she couldn’t use her phone anymore, was

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Narcissism, The New Normal?

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

Even though there seems to be more self-absorbed people around us than ever before, calling someone a narcissist may miss the mark. In fact, many people who seem to possess narcissistic behavior, might just be prideful. There is a difference. People all over the world share their relationship struggles and personal development goals with me

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“I Love You No Matter What”

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

Children need to feel love from their parents more than ever before. And, our neighbors need love too. That unconditional, deep and abiding love will help our children weather the storms of life. Love is the truth that fills the soul and gives life hope and meaning. Maybe, during this time of social and political

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The Dignity of Work & The Will to Choose It

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Think about Santa. He works all day every day without pay to get ready for one exciting night when he works harder than he has ever worked before in order to bring happiness. Think about Jesus. He worked every day of His mortal ministry; teaching, leading, healing, walking, serving others, and travailing to prepare Him

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Where We Give Our Attention Matters Most

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

When I was a little girl, my brothers used to tease me. Every time I was teased or called names by them, I allowed myself to become emotional. One day when I was upset, my father said to me, “Nicholeen, if you don’t let the teasing work, then it won’t be fun for them and

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How To Love a Disobedient or Wayward Child

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

“Is it too late for me and my child?” a single mother of a 17-year-old daughter asked me after telling me how her daughter won’t listen to her or talk to her, and is going against all the standards of her home. Just like so many other parents, this mother wanted to know if learning

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Good Triggers vs. Bad Triggers and Calm Communication Skills

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

Have you ever completely lost control of yourself and you weren’t exactly sure why? This can happen to anyone. This usually means that you’ve been triggered in some way. There’s so much talk about emotional triggers nowadays that triggers are turning into common excuses for poor behavior. Could it be that we might sometimes be

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Giving Your Family A Reason to Care About Family

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Shut down doesn’t have to feel like shut down! Due to current restrictions caused by COVID-19, many families aren’t traveling as much as they normally do this time of year. Even local activities in many areas are still difficult to enjoy because of closures. But, that doesn’t mean we should stop having fun as a

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Talking About Nothing: Is It Healthy?

Leave a Comment / Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

Our family loves games! We play card games, board games, outdoor games, sports, and imagination games. Sometimes we have conversations about games we play, but most of the time we talk about things of more substance such as family, improving relationships, truths we’ve found, books we’ve read, experiences we’ve had, memories we share, family history,

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Simple Solutions for Lack of Motivation Problems

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A mother recently asked me how to help her daughter feel motivated to do anything besides sit around the house. She isn’t alone. With the new quarantine lifestyle, many families are thriving with the increase of family time, personal time, and relationship-building. But, even the most involved parents can still find that their child might

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Choosing Calmness Amidst All the Stress

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Why do we cater to our stresses and forget to choose calmness? After all, calmness is the only state where we truly feel safe and empowered. Stress, anger, and frustration never lead to true empowerment or peace, only emotional bondage. In 1998, when I was the young mother of a small baby and a toddler,and

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Carving Out More Family Quality Time in a Fast-Paced World

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Creating quality, loving family relationships requires discerning between what actions are really quality and what actions are nothing more than conformity to social norms. Creating these quality relationships doesn’t require elaborate planning, just time. Strong family relationships are built upon many components, such as good communication, honesty, trust, love, forgiveness, bonding, listening, shared vision, and

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10 Lessons for Listening With Love

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Much emotional agony is avoided and more relationship healing is possible when a person learns to listen with love. There were two similar conversations that had very different results. The first conversation was between a mother and her son. The son told his mother about a problem he was having with a friend, but she

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How To Create Magical Family Memories

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As I held my 15-year-old son’s hand and watched the magic of Christmas unfold around me with lights and nativity displays at the city center, I felt that date with my son was a parent’s dream come true. Who doesn’t dream of the perfect parent/child memory? We all want them, but could our desire for

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Making Any Holiday the Perfect Holiday

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During this time of year when there are lists of things to do and places to go, don’t forget this one simple truth: people are more important than things. People are worth more of our focus than lists. We may think that the lists of things make the holiday perfect for the people, but that

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What Your Mother Really Wants

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Recently, while texting with my oldest son, he asked, “Hey, what do you want for Mother’s Day?” I shouldn’t really admit that I don’t like those kinds of questions, but the truth is I don’t. Maybe it’s because my love language isn’t gifts, or maybe it’s because I never know what to say. The most

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Stitching That Holds the Family Together

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“If our society is coming apart at the seams, it is because the tailor and the seamstress in the home are not producing the kind of stitching that will hold under stress. In the name of giving advantages, we have too often bartered away the real opportunities of our children.” (1981, Be Thou an Example,

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Angry little girl

Ah, 3-Year-Olds!

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I once heard from a mother who was struggling with her three-year-old. The girl didn’t take “No” answers well, even when they practiced. When she earned a consequence she either wouldn’tdothe chore or would holler if it was the removal of a privilege.If the mother gave her a “No” answer to anything, the girl would flop on the floor and scream. If she didn’t get what she wanted from her siblings, she would yell and hit them.She was a sweet girl, but she was also very strong-willed and determined to get her way.

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Charitable Parenting

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Home Culture, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

Even though the mistakes our children make are glaring us in the face, we also know that each of our children has certain attributes that make them wonderful, individual, and precious to us. Charitable parents focus more on those good, productive attributes than on the negative mistakes their children make daily. Each week I answer

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How to Help Kids Enjoy Doing Work!

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It’s all too common in many modern households to hear sighs, grumbling, complaining and whining from children when parents give reminders of daily work responsibilities, or when additional work assignments are given to children. But, before we think this is the way children have always felt about doing work or that everyone should feel work

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Strong Families Create a Halloween Sanctuary for Children

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When today’s parents were children, the costume was all about sticking out individually. But today’s young people and families are leaning more and more toward theme costumes. Why is this? Well, modern youth and families are more about togetherness than their parent’s generation. Also, the youth seem to recognize the power of community and/or the

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Fighting Over The Judgement Seat

1 Comment / All, Children (4-10), Home Culture, School, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

“There is no more war in my classroom, and there is no more war in my home.” Those were the words of a teacher from Kenya this summer. It was part of a parenting training I attended designed to teach Catholic leaders how to teach their families self-government skills and good communication. In the 19

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Love of Instructions and Reproof

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Janae and Trisha both have a 12-year-old son who has a habit of being defiant. Each woman struggles with having the confidence to help her son change his behaviors during his outbursts. So why is Trisha’s son making so much more progress on staying calm and listening to her than Janae’s? Why is Trisha’s confidence

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They’re Caught in the Moral Middle

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Today’s children are caught in the middle of multiple moral battle zones. You could even say that children’s moral battles are divorcing them from their parents. One of the most common characteristics of a child with divorced parents is that the child feels pulled between the parents’ different values and lifestyles. It’s common for husbands

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What Children Think of Negative Consequences

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I recently asked a group of 10-year-old children what kinds of negative consequences their families have. “At our house, we sweep the floor and clean,” said one boy. “Mom gets mad and goes into a bad mood,” said another boy. “Mom used to send us to time out, but we don’t do that anymore,” said

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Traveling Trends Meet Parenting Problems

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Family travel looks different these days than it used to. Today’s parents were raised in a slower time. Most families planned one or two trips a year, which were usually taken during school holidays, and in our case, in the family travel trailer. While there are still families that really don’t like to leave home

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How to Reach the Heart of Your Child… and Yourself

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Reaching a child’s heart is vital for awakening his conscience and morally training him to desire to make good choices, but structure also has a part to play in training the heart. This is a true story, and a new parenting lesson, of how to help a person understand the truths behind your teachings. Structure

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10 things kids think about

10 Thoughts Children Have That Might Surprise Parents

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“He’s not breathing really well, and they tell us he’ll likely die in a day or two…” a mother was explaining to a group of adults about her father-in-law, and her young son’s grandpa. Her son was sitting in an adjacent room with his good friend, but he wasn’t playing as his mother likely thought

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13-Year-Old Girl Changes Lives by Changing Her Heart

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It’s difficult to know what other people are processing about a situation or experience. Parents often assume they know the thoughts of their children, but sometimes they don’t. Each child is so unique, and their view of a situation is unique to them too. This is a story about a young girl we’ll call Megan.

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1 Skill To Improve Calmness For The Whole Family

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While swimming with my family one day the calmness of our pool experience was interrupted by one very loud, very stressed mother. If only this mother was able to see the hearts of her children and everyone else in the pool area. If she could have taken a moment to do just one simple skill

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Give me 5 copy

Give Me 5! – Obedience Chart For Class Settings Or Group Teaching

2 Comments / All, Children (4-10), School, Toddlers (0-4) /

What is a teacher or parent to do when they have a group of troublesome toddlers or cheeky children? They don’t stay in their chairs, they crawl all over the carpet when they are supposed to be listening to a lesson, they talk out of turn and to each other, they don’t participate, and they

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The Clingy Child Cure: From Clingy To Confident

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“What do I do about my child? She will not leave my side. I know I should love her attention and affection, but she is smothering me. I can’t do anything without her hanging and clinging onto me. Me and my husband can’t even go on dates because she makes such a fuss. Am I spoiling her? Some people have said that this must be why she won’t leave me. She is 20 months old.”

This is a great question! So many families experience what you have just analyzed. There is hope for your daughter and the solution might surprise you.

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Hudson The Great!- Video of 3 Year Old Learning Self-Government

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Effective Parenting

Recently my friend, David Perry, the renown film maker, invited me to his home to teach his family self-government. The Perrys have two active young boys ages five and three. They are quickly becoming self-government experts.

This is a recent video of Hudson, age three, explaining

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The Crying Game

2 Comments / All, Children (4-10), Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

I love working with and playing with my children. But, the crying game is a game I don’t play. Many children treat the crying behavior as if it is part of a game. They are able to go in and out of the crying game all day long whenever they see it can benefit them. Children often cry simply to get attention. I know it is hard for many parents to discern whether their child is seeking attention or not. Here is a true story which is meant to help clear up some of that confusion.

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Toddler Tantrums: Positive Parenting Solutions

9 Comments / All, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

Nicholeen, Your peaceful parenting methods obviously work so well with older children and troubled teenagers. But, I have a house full of little children. Each day I face terrible twos, three year old tantrums, and four year old tantrums. Can children this young learn to govern themselves too? Answer: How ToStopTantrums This article is NOT

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Toddler Tantrums At The Most Inconvenient Times!

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“But, what do you do when they are screaming, and it’s time to walk out the door?” a father asked me at a recent conference. “My strong willed three year old son is very difficult at those times.”



I looked at this wonderfully dedicated father, and felt his frustration. Who hasn’t felt the anxiety build when a child has a tantrum right when you are leaving for church or leaving for work?

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Interiew With Nicholeen Peck: Strict Parenting

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BJ Stober, family therapist and hostess of Family Voice Talk Radio, interviewed Nicholeen Peck on April 19, 2012 about strict parenting. This is a link to the audio/video version of the show.



Nicholeen discussed different ways to parent and how what to focus on in order to break bad parenting habits.



Be sure to listen for the 10 Things Parents Need To Know to teach their children self-government.

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Accepting No After Disagreeing Appropriately

1 Comment / All, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

“I’ve been using the 4 basic skills with my children, ages 7 and 4. It has been such a help. Thank you, Nicholeen!

But I’m not sure what to do to help my 4 yo understand the concept of
disagree appropriately. It seems too complex for her. She will go
through the script and ask to dis. app. and do it, but she seems
genuinely confused that she doesn’t always get her way when she does
this. I try to let her get her way as much as possible when she

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Video: Two Year Old, Sam, Teaches The Four Basic Skills

4 Comments / All, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

Read about this amazing video on the next page! [video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEV-1UcyooQ&feature=player_embedded] Last week I asked for you to send me copies of some of the things you have done to implement Self-Government into your homes. The things I recieved were amazing! I can't wait until they are all available to you. In the mean time, take

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Child Hitting

Practicing The Right Way: Cause And Effect Parenting For Toddlers Who Hit And Others

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Cause and effect is learned more effectively when the consequences, positive and negative, are practiced first. The example below is geared toward a parent with a toddler, but the principles can be applied to all ages and situations which need to be practiced and understood more.

“My two year old daughter likes to hit. She hits me, she hits my husband and she even hit’s the baby. No matter what I do nothing seems to work. Reasoning doesn’t really work with a two year old, so I am at a loss for what to do about this. I know I need to do something.”

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Parenting Three Year Olds: They Really Understand

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Many people ask me when they should start teaching their children self government skills.  It is never too early to start talking in a deliberate, describing way or to teach the word “okay.”  Even the words “disagree appropriately” can be understood by most youngsters. My little almost 3 year old just asked if she could

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How Do I Nurse A Baby And Handle The Rest Of The Children Too?

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If you have ever had a baby, you know how hard feeding time can be.

I just had my 3rd baby and my oldest is turning 3 in a week and a half. This means that nursing the baby has become one of the most stressful times for me. I’ve been wondering to myself how I will ever stay sane if I can’t properly deal with the issues of the older 2 every time I nurse.
I love your idea of reading to the older kids while nursing the baby. I’ll try that one next time Zeke needs to eat. :)
Thanks for sharing this great advice.

I remember those years nursing and having toddlers. Those are hard times!!! There just aren’t enough arms and your thoughts get all jumbled up because of the noise and stress of it all. Obviously you should try to keep as calm as you can for the milk to be good and calming for the baby. I also know that is easier said than done.

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Brave Parenting: Being Too Soft

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Can parents actually be too soft?  Isn’t love and affection always the answer?  If a parent isn’t being soft aren’t they being angry?  I often have parents ask me about children who are really emotional.  They say things like, “…she is really sensitive.”  or “…he has a tender heart.”  I know there are different personalities

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“Mom is on the phone” ~Discipline Problem

4 Comments / All, Home Culture, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

 

“I do struggle and maybe you could give me some advice.  I spend quite a bit of time with my kids in the morning going over little activities like school workbooks and story time and exercising together.  Yet the minute I get on the phone or sit down to nurse the baby, the three boys are arguing or fighting or taking toys from each other or something of the sort.  I have tried to get them to color or do a certain activity together, but that only lasts so long.  It’s hard to discipline when you are nursing the baby.
 
        I know I have a bit of post-pardom and always feel like I am always nursing the baby or disciplining my children.  I have felt discouraged with my 3 boys behavior and realize some of their actions comes from mom spending so much time with the new little one.  Do you have any tips or suggestions for me on how to best help teach my boys and solve the problems.”

 

 

J You hit a common discipline problem right on the head.  I would like to meet a mother who can have a 30 minute phone conversation and not have things fall apart a little bit.  My one hopeful thought to you is that as they grow, they learn to live without you for 30 minutes, or more.  😉

Nursing a baby is also a hard one.  I have been there too. 

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Unruly Child

2 Comments / All, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

“My question, as it relates to the above entries and to my four year old is what to do when he will not stay in time-out (on our washer)? He will not stay there. He runs after me, screaming. I put him back – try hard to do it calmly and sometimes I have tried to keep him there using my hands to keep his legs on the washer, but then I feel like I am forcing him and it all goes down hill from there.”

I wrote an answer to a similar question over a year ago. It is called “Tantrums, Time-out and Tired Moms.” The article should answer most of your questions. It is alright to do a soft hold with a child to help him learn to want to stay on time-out himself to calm down, but you are right about it being a sort of “force.”

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