One night, after my parents left to go on a date, my brother and I started fighting. I vividly remember the fight getting to the point where both of us were standing on a couch threatening each other with broomsticks. This sad memory changed me. Many times over the years I’ve had that memory return, […]
6 Steps for Making Siblings Friends, Not Foes Read More »
Even though there’s violence dotting the globe, the largest battle of our day isn’t physical. It’s a war of words. All these words are supposed to lead the listeners to truth. Often the talk feels cheap even though the claim is each new idea, paradigm and argument is the most valuable. Is this word war
Truth Be Told…Influence of Family is Astounding! Read More »
In the United States we have a new president. Some people are elated about this and others are sorrowing. Regardless of where each of us is on this spectrum of election emotions, change is in the air. Change is difficult for all of us, but especially for children. Not only are the children of the
Helping Children Feel Secure in an Emotional and War-Ridden World Read More »
“Porter, you’re being whiny and you need to stop it,” said Spencer, my husband, in exasperation one evening. He had just treated the children to a day of fun times and snacks, and even purchased souvenir T-shirts for them. Spencer had had enough. The funny thing was that Porter’s whiny moment was the first occurrence
Recipe for How to Raise an Unspoiled Child Read More »
“Let’s stay at home for a while,” suggested my children after a month full of fun day trips, camping trips and cousin time. Even though they love all of these activities and seem to be able to go forever, they do need time at home too. While discussing our August schedule at a family council
The Best Activity Place for Children Read More »
“Perhaps I shouldn’t even tell people about this because it’s probably bad, but I just felt I had to do it,” said a friend of mine shortly after a trip with her four-year-old son to the gas station. My friend — we’ll call her Joanna — is a hip, young mother of two small children
Teaching Children Respect Just Got Easier! Read More »
While swimming with my family one day the calmness of our pool experience was interrupted by one very loud, very stressed mother. If only this mother was able to see the hearts of her children and everyone else in the pool area. If she could have taken a moment to do just one simple skill
1 Skill To Improve Calmness For The Whole Family Read More »
“There is no substitute for hard work.” (Thomas Edison) Years ago, when I was planning a Teaching Self-Government trip to China, a good friend of mine said, “Nicholeen, what are you going to tell parents in China who don’t understand why their child should earn an extra chore? Most parents don’t have their children do
4 Ways to Help Children Enjoy Chores and Become Good Workers Read More »
High-functioning Autism/Asperger’s can cause children to have a hard time focusing on the task at hand. Simple tasks often becomehour-long undertakings,ending up with parent andchild frustrated and angry.
Helping Children With Asperger’s To Stay Focused Read More »
What is a teacher or parent to do when they have a group of troublesome toddlers or cheeky children? They don’t stay in their chairs, they crawl all over the carpet when they are supposed to be listening to a lesson, they talk out of turn and to each other, they don’t participate, and they
Give Me 5! – Obedience Chart For Class Settings Or Group Teaching Read More »
“What do I do about my child? She will not leave my side. I know I should love her attention and affection, but she is smothering me. I can’t do anything without her hanging and clinging onto me. Me and my husband can’t even go on dates because she makes such a fuss. Am I spoiling her? Some people have said that this must be why she won’t leave me. She is 20 months old.”
This is a great question! So many families experience what you have just analyzed. There is hope for your daughter and the solution might surprise you.
The Clingy Child Cure: From Clingy To Confident Read More »
In James Madison’s essay “Property” it says, “…a man has a property in his opinions and the free communication of them. “He has a property of peculiar value in his religious opinions, and in the profession and practice dictated by them…” This is a piece of the philosophy of the founding of the United States.
Five Ways To Protect The Consciences Of Our Children Read More »
“Nicholeen, how do I help my son stop attention seeking? He is nine years old and has to be the center of attention. At scouts, school and church he blurts things out when other people are talking and when their not talking. He talks back to his teachers. He distracts other children too by yelling
Attention Seeking Cure: How To Teach Social Skills Read More »
An Intro to the Blog Below: I have been thinking a lot about honesty lately. My understanding of honesty has expanded and I have been touched in new ways I have never thought of it before. The world would have us believe that we need to appear strong and knowledge to others in order to
I don’t know a parent who wouldn’t say, “My child is so smart!” We all recognize the intelligence our children possess. But, what about when they just can’t stop themselves from blurting out all that intelligence when Mom is on a phone call, or when adults are having a conversation? Interrupting is a sign of a thinker. Smart people interrupt.
Interrupting Porter – Child Behavior Problems Read More »
“Londyn,” fourteen year old Paije said. “You have to clean the griddle since you used it.”
Londyn replied with, “No, kitchen is your stewardship this week. You have to do it.”
“I had to wash the griddle when it was your stewardship, so you have to wash it now.” Paije countered.
“It’s Your Turn To Clean It!” – Problem Solving Steps Read More »
Question – Chores And Allowances “Dear Nicholeen, My daughter is really struggling over money. She wants some pocket money big time so she’s telling me I have to give her money for doing chores or she won’t be motivated… She thinks she is hard done by and has fought her way out of every chore
Allowance For Kids & Kids Chores Read More »
Over the years we have had a variety of Christmases. Some years we have had more money than other years, but no matter the income we have always felt like we wanted to give our children something which would encourage them to be creative. To create stories.
Stories are the bud of genius. They are the spring of inspiration.
Home Made Christmas Gifts For Kids Read More »
When the end of the day comes I find myself looking forward to bedtime. My bedtime is always exciting to anticipate since all my days are usually purpose-filled and very busy. However, I also look forward to the time the children go to bed each night. I love my children, and our days are filled with joy and laughter, but that quiet time after they have gone to bed, and before I go to bed is a great treat too. The quiet times to think, ponder, write and read are some of the treasured moments of my days as well.
I have noticed that some nights I don’t have a good attitude at bedtime because I am craving my quiet time so much. On these nights I get a little bit selfish and don’t really want to
Children Need Sleep! ~ Getting Them To Bed Happy Read More »
I love working with and playing with my children. But, the crying game is a game I don’t play. Many children treat the crying behavior as if it is part of a game. They are able to go in and out of the crying game all day long whenever they see it can benefit them. Children often cry simply to get attention. I know it is hard for many parents to discern whether their child is seeking attention or not. Here is a true story which is meant to help clear up some of that confusion.
Math is stressful! Some people get anxiety when they do math. In fact, I bet most people have felt anxious about one math concept or another over the years. Stretching the brain can be frustrating and can even hurt sometimes. One day my eight year old son, Porter, was doing his math. It was a
Hugs Make Math Easier! ~ Stress Relief Techniques Read More »
About 75 years ago, ten year old Tommy Monson had a Sunday School teacher only six years older than he was named Phyllis Bowden. Even though Phyllis was young, she knew the fundamentals of being a teacher to young children and took her role and responsibility seriously. So, when young Tommy became “quite fond of spit wads” Phyllis knew how to handle the problem. When Tommy wouldn’t stop his bad behavior Phyllis sent him to the bishop’s office to talk about the issue.
It Doesn’t Have To Be That Way: Role Reversal Read More »
Many parents wonder what to do about problems at school. Sometimes the best behavior therapy for classroom behaviorshappens at home. The video interview below discusses what parents can do about school related behavior problems.
Other parents want to know how to prepare their children for educational success. No matter what way you choose to educate children at your house, you will gain a lot from hearing this conversation between veteran teacher and college professor, Nicholas Pond, and homeschool mother, Nicholeen Peck, about school pro
School Problems? Making Your Child A Genius! Read More »
If you loved Londyn LaRae Says Okay, you will be excited to know that the second book in the Teaching Self-Government children’s series is almost here. It is in production right now and be available for pre-sale soon.
The release date is sheduled for November. Just in time for Christmas!
In this book, Londyn’s brother Porter whines and pouts whenever he gets a no answer or something doesn’t go his way. Everyone in the st
Announcing: “Porter Earns A Quarter” Read More »
Were there dangers for children back in the old days? Did parents worry about keeping their children safe from social ills like we do today?
Old Fashioned Solutions For Modern Day Parenting Problems Read More »
One Sunday our family attended a rare, two hour long church meeting. My children are very used to sitting quietly through one hour church meetings, but sometimes they struggle a little bit on a two hour meeting.
About three quarters through the meeting this past Sunday my eight year old son asked if he could go to the bathroom.
Children Who Can’t Sit Still Cure: Problem Solving Activities Read More »
Dealing with tantrums is the part of parenting which most parents dread. They hope their sweet little baby will not ever hit the toddler tantrum phase or the even worse teenage temper tantrum phase.
As a young mother, I was just as afraid of toddler tantrums as the next person.
Help My Out Of Control Kid!: How To Handle Temper Tantrums Read More »
A Mother’s Question About Building Self Esteem In Children
“Emma said to me at bedtime that she thinks that she’s ugly. I’m not exactly sure where she heard this since I’m always telling her how cute she is, but what would you say to your kids if they said that?”
Improving Self Esteem: How To Build Self Confidence In Children Read More »
“Mom, I’m going to go to Zack’s to play basketball. Is that okay?” Quinton, age fifteen, announced this morning.
I replied, “Quin, you have things to do here at home today, so I don’t think we will have time for friends until another day.”
Quin really wanted to go shoot hoops with his friend. What fifteen year old boy doesn’t?
How To Stop Getting Angry: Relaxation Breathing Techniques Read More »
Question:
“How do you stop children from back talking?”
Answer:
Children talking back, or sassing, to their parents seems to be a behavior many children experiment with. At different phases of development feelings of independence and intelligence emerge causing kids to talk back.
“HI Nicholeen. I have the biggest problem in implementing your method… when
you give a consequence but they refuse to do it…???then WHAT?? I can give
them all the jobs they “earned” but can’t make them do it… WHAT then???This
is my biggest difficulty in implementing what I think is an amazing method…
comments? suggestions???
How To Get Children To Behave Read More »
Good Kids Books:
“Do you have any book suggestions for helping my children learn to want to be obedient?”
Answer:
I was asked this question a couple of years ago, and it got me thinking. I couldn’t answer it. I didn’t know of any must have kids books which would teach children the kinds of self-government skills they need to be happy obedient children.
Good Childrens Books? A Must Have Book For Families! Read More »
“Nicholeen,
Can you share your family chore chart with us?”
My chore chart system is really quite easy. Over the years I have had different kinds of chore chart systems depending on the age of my child. I have had toddler chore charts, kid chore charts, and chore charts for teenagers.
Free Printable Chore Charts: For Children and Teenagers Read More »
Question:
“I just purchased your book online. I am excited to read it. I am a mother
of 3 boys, 16, 13, and 11. Years ago we got each boy his own alarm clock &
talked about being responsible for getting himself up in the morning. Since
Wii time in our home isn’t free for the taking, we told them that this would
be how they could earn Wii time, by setting their own alarm, getting up on
thei
Difficulty Waking Up Read More »
This video is hilarious, but also extremely educational for parents.
Funny Parenting: Eye Opening If You Look Deep! Read More »
(This article contains Nicholeen’s daily home and school schedule for this coming year & a video of how she makes a yearly plan forthe family.)
We have all heard the term “super mom” before. Some people have a positive association with the term. They think, “Wow, that lady is amazing. I want to be a super mom like her.” And, some have a negative association with the term.
Preparing For School With An Ex-Super Mom & My Homeschool Schedule Read More »
Last week I talked about how there are certain skills which are important to posess for social success. These skills are different from the self-government skills I teach in myParenting A House United
Social Success: Too Little Friend Time Part 2 Read More »
Can You Have Too Little Friend Time?
“ Importance of Child Development: Are Friends Essential? Part 1 Read More »
Last week I wrote an article which generated a lot of discussion called Can Too Much Friend Time Hurt Children? Since I received so many emails about the topic I feel it is important to address it again. Some people expressed thanks, and others confusion.
Too Much Friend Time Part 2: Making Confident Children Read More »
Is it easier to tell children yes or no when they ask a question?
The answer to this question could depend on what kind of person you are.
Are the kind of parent who really likes to be in control of the goings on in the family and don’t like to be bothered with plans changing, outfits changing, or extra work for a new idea? If you are this kind of person you probably find it is easier to tell the children no when they ask to go play at a friends, finger paint, make cookies, or go swimming.
Yes Or No? ~Parent Choices Read More »
A parent’s work isn’t limited to working with our own children. Sometimes we are in situations when we are in charge of other people’s children. Occasions where this most likely happens are at church, when friends come over, at clubs, in school settings, and on outings. These times are enjoyable, but can also be complete disasters.
Classroom Behavior Problems Read More »
“How do you parent a child who is red/yellow when you are a white/blue? My son and I are so entirely different and he’s so impulsive (almost destructive) that it completely shakes my world. I often find him sneaking downstairs and turning on the Wii (which we only permit on Friday and Saturday as a privilege).
Video Games Addiction: They Are Asking for Help Read More »
My two youngest children are best friends, and play a lot with each other. It is so fun to see them enjoy each other. This summer we have noticed that they are getting a bit too much play lately though. The sun comes up and someone is at our door asking to play. The children do their chores and run outside. They would stay there day after day, all day, if I didn’t ever call them in.
The other day my husband and I noticed some very distracted behaviors. My six year old was showing off a lot and acting a lot more “crazy” than usual. He was also trying to be the “funny guy” by popping off. We looked at each other and both knew something needed to change
Too Much Play Time?-Solving the Boredom Problem Read More »
“I came across your ideas on the LDSEHE website, and have been so inspired by all of it. I’m starting to read your book, hoping to fill in a few holes. I really like your idea for Friday family movie nights as your one source of TV. How do you make selections for that night? Do you have a list of movies you would recommend?”
You are right. We have a family TV watching policy to help our family not get bound by television. Our policy is that we don’t watch TV unless it is a movie on Friday family movie night.
Family TV Watching: Parenting Tip Read More »
Can parents actually be too soft? Isn’t love and affection always the answer? If a parent isn’t being soft aren’t they being angry? I often have parents ask me about children who are really emotional. They say things like, “…she is really sensitive.” or “…he has a tender heart.” I know there are different personalities
Brave Parenting: Being Too Soft Read More »
My children have started a fun new game this Summer thanks to a very creative friend. They play camping. Their friend found lots of old odds and ends around the house and garage and loaded them into his wagon and brought them over to play. The children loved it so much, they play it every
Summer Fun for the Children; and the Parents Too! Read More »
“My two oldest boys, ages 8 and 7 are really giving me a run………..I know that if I stay strong, it will all pay off.
We have a family mission statement, we have a job jar, we have been roll playing. They know what our “standards” are.
My 7 year old has had discipline “issues” for 1 and 1/2 weeks consistently every morning during “school time”. He gets so frustrated with me when I calmly let him know that he earned another “consequence” I make sure and tell him that I love him and I wish that he could join us for privileged free time. He assures me that he will try harder but the same things keep happening over and over. He is 7 and very wiggly and dreamy, and distracted. He even has been swearing which is NOT our family standard! I try to explain to him that if he has good control over his body and mouth during school time, he will earn privileges, but he just doesn’t learn…………Any tips?”
It sounds like you are doing pretty well at creating an environment for self-government in your home.
I hope your son is doing better now. If not read pages 66-69 in my book Parenting A House United. I am guessing you have it. This section goes over motivation for children who get themselves in a rutt.
Negative Consequence Rutt: Parenting Tips Read More »
Thank you so much for your teaching this subject! I purchased the CDs about two months ago when I heard about them through the LEMI mentors association, listened to them, took lots of notes, and put it into action at a family meeting about 3 weeks ago.
Parenting Questions: Tattling, Fighting, & Yelling Read More »
Question:
“The biggest struggle we have with my son is that he wants to be the parent – he wants to be in control, not necessarily of my husband and I, but of the rest of the kids (he’s #2 of 5). For instance, this morning he made himself a “dessert sandwich” (he just made this up, bread with butter and cinnamon on it) before breakfast, but got mad and yelled at our 2 year old for getting into the fridge to get an apple while he still had the sandwich in his hand. Even me standing there saying “It’s okay, she can have the apple” didn’t calm things right away. ALL THE TIME he gets after his siblings for things he sees as wrong, but he himself can do no wrong, even if he’s doing the same things they are.”
About Parents
I love how at the beginning of this question you say that your son thinks he’s the parent and then at the end you say that he can do no wrong even though he is doing the same thing. These two statements together in the same paragraph make me smile because that is just what most parents really do. They get after the children for doing what they, the parents, are doing all the time too. These parents for some reason feel like if they don’t have to look at their short comings in their children then the short comings aren’t really there and don’t need to be addressed.
I will never forget
Parenting Questions: What to do when they think they are the parent Read More »
Today we had a great day with Debbie and Ron on The KJZZ morning show hosted by KUTV2 news station. Below are the links to the two segments we appeared in. Today’s topic was consequences and how to choose them.
Segment one: http://connect2utah.com/content/fulltext/?cid=79502
Segment Two: http://connect2utah.com/media_player.php?media_id=119902
Television clips from today ~Parenting Tips Read More »
Another idea might be having a family meeting, I teach about those too, and discuss a POSITIVE motivational system for the family if everyone follows instructions the first time asked for a few days. I have a great idea in my book about Rachel’s Bean Magic. That motivational system my do really well for this because it shows that each good thing has a positive consequence, not just focusing on the bad.
Also, work with your children regularly too. Teach them the jobs by example. Sometimes we expect things to be done perfectly when we haven’t really taught them how to do the jobs properly
Obedience — Inspiring a Change in Behavior Read More »
Hey, I have read your book and have been trying to implement the system, however I have a few questions. My oldest son is 11, he has trouble controlling his emotions and talking back. Here is an example of a typical situation; I ask him to do something he makes a face and might say a smart remark but he will look me in the eye after I remind him and will say ok sarcastically then he will go do the chore.
He follows the steps the right way about 50% of the time. Today he was out of instructional control and me telling him that if he chose not to follow my instructions that the was going to chose to earn another chore didn’t work. He just sat there, so I left the room for a few minutes and when I came back he was ready to follow instructions. However he was only ready after I told him that he was going to lose all his privileges. My question is how long should he lose his privileges? He was calm, he just didn’t want to follow my instructions when I asked the first time.
He also talks back too much or tries to argue.
Back Talking vs. Appropriate Disagreements & The Rule of Three Read More »
One of my passions is astronomy. When I go out in my backyard and look through my telescope at my friends, the planets and stars, I feel so close to God. Not because heaven is in space, but because it is so obvious there is organization in all things. He is a God of order; with everything in it’s perfect place. Everything has a purpose; a mission. Since He is order in all we see it only makes sense that people should live by order too.
Just like laws and principles govern the skies and the earth, there are laws meant to govern us as well. That is why we have chosen to apply governing rules to our home too. We feel like there is no better example of how to run a home than the way God runs our world; the current home for His family.
Our family has a set structure. We have certain meetings each week to strengthen the family relationships and keep the home in order. The meetings we have are
Bedtime negative behaviors. my 5 year old just will not settle down. I get really frustrated with him. I don’t feel like I can do the rule of three or extra chores when he is supposed to be going to sleep, and if I tell him he has earned them for the morning, the consequence doesn’t seem real to him. My husband’s solution is to give him three warnings, and then spank him. I am beginning to hate bedtime.
Q: “With my 5 year old, when I am correcting negative behavior and I ask him to practice with me, he goes into goofy mode and doesn’t want to practice correct behavior, or does it silly. Should I give him consequences for this behavior? or should I skip the practice?”
Are you listening to me? Read More »
One afternoon my children and I went on a walk to our local library. The library is about one and a half miles from our home. After a great time reading and exploring together in the library, we started our mile and a half walk home.
During the walk one of my small children mentioned he was hungry. It was getting close to dinner time, and would still be a little while before we reached home. When we were about a half way home we passed a home which had a large apple tree growing on the property. The apples on the tree were perfectly ripe and large. My son immediately notice
Stand For Something Read More »
Hi, Nicholeen,I have a quick question for you. I’m struggling with what to do for discipline/consequences when we’re away from home. (Specifically in the car or in a store.) My kids tend to pick at each other, fight, kick, etc., in the car and to run away from me or do other annoying things (push the cart the wrong direction, touch things they shouldn’t, etc.) at the store. The younger ones especially (age 2-4ish) don’t really care enough about what’s coming in the future for them to care if I give them a consequence that will be carried outParenting On the Go ~Car and Store Struggles Read More »
My kids are really hard workers (At least I’ve taught them one thing right!) so they are not bothered at all by doing an extra job or even doing jobs for one hour or all day. It’s not their favorite thing to do but they will do it without complaining and then go right back to the same behavior that we were trying to fix. I know it sounds crazy but these are unusual kids I’m raising!
Thank you so much for your teaching this subject! I purchased the CDs about two months ago when I heard about them through the LEMI mentors association, listened to them, took lots of notes, and put it into action at a family meeting about 3 weeks ago.
Parenting Questions ~ Tattling, Yelling, & Fighting Read More »
“I do struggle and maybe you could give me some advice. I spend quite a bit of time with my kids in the morning going over little activities like school workbooks and story time and exercising together. Yet the minute I get on the phone or sit down to nurse the baby, the three boys are arguing or fighting or taking toys from each other or something of the sort. I have tried to get them to color or do a certain activity together, but that only lasts so long. It’s
“Mom is on the phone” Read More »
Thank you so much for your teaching this subject! I purchased the CDs about two months ago when I heard about them through the LEMI mentors association, listened to them, took lots of notes, and put it into action at a family meeting about 3 weeks ago. It has been so helpful! It has already made a big difference in our home!
My eight year old son was having trouble obeying the first time i.e. following instruction, and we would ask him again and again to do things and he wouldn’t do them. He would forget or get distracted reading. (He’s a white, through and through.) Then we would get angry and he would do it. But he would sometimes get angry and lately even sometimes go into a little bit of a rage.
Success Stories and Some Questions Read More »
A parent says, “Billy, come make your bed.”
Billy doesn’t come immediately so the parent says,”One…….Two………Three.” to get Billy to come.
Have you ever done this? Everyone knows Billy better start running either at or before his mom hits the number three or else Mom could turn into a monster.
As I travel around, I notice counting to three as possibly the most common parenting control method. Counting has it’s place in parenting, but the counting in the above story is either a threat, a power struggle, or a sign of a parent who doesn’t real
Have You Ever Done This? Read More »
…my 6 year old is up to his old tricks. He
LOVED following instructions when I first started concentrating on this.
But, today, he became his regular difficult self. He hasn’t been
following instructions and when I tell him he’s earned a chore, he won’t
do the chore. And when I try the Rule of 3, he’ll calm down and then
still won’t follow through with his chores.
He has tried to solicit help from me (while I’m trying to make dinner for him)–I told him I’d like to
help him, but I have to make dinner right now. Then, he just starts goofing off with the r
Sneaky Six Year Old Read More »
My children love playing with the kids next door, but it seems that the neighbor kids do something rude/unkind every few weeks (or more often). I’m not naive enough to believe that my kids are always totally without blame, but I am good friends with mother of these kids, and she has told me several times that this is pretty normal behavior for her kids and that my kids don’t act like that. My kids (8 yo girl, 7 yo boy) have learned to pretty much just expect rude comments and behavior from the 9 yo neighbor boy and don’t have a lot to do with him anymore, but the 8 yo old girl
My neighbors fight with my children…friend problems Read More »
The Universe is governed by laws. One of those laws is that an older, wiser species comes before the new, innocent young of the same species to guide the younger toward right choices and acceptable behaviors. I have heard parents say before that their children didn’t come with instruction manuals. This is true, and each child is uniquely different, but I have wondered if parents make statements like these to make themselves feel better
Changing generations Read More »
On September 11th I wrote a post titled “For Crying out Loud ~ Screaming” This was the first screaming post. I am now adding another part to screaming, because I have another question.
My almost-5-year-old has always been a screamer. He screams this
high-pitched, shrill, grating scream whenever he doesn’t like
something that’s going on — which is often. This screaming pushes
my buttons like nothing else does. I HATE it, and I’m afraid I’ve
reacted to it too strongly and too wrongly, for too long.
So, is this kind of screaming a normal thing for a kid before he ge
“I’m having trouble figuring out what behavior is
“normal” for my 4- and 8-year-old boys, what chores I can expect them
to be able to perform, and what kinds of rewards and consequences
work for the different ages. Is there a good book you can suggest?
Or is that something I need to tailor for my own boys (i.e.
What should I expect? Read More »
“I have been reading your website and listening to your CD’s and practicing what I’ve learned from you. It has helped tremendously with the level of peace in our home. A situation occurred last night with my 12 y/o which has me a bit stymied. He was at a church camp-out and playing flag football with some other boys. One boy in particular has given him trouble on and off through the two years we have lived here. This boy will slap my son and then say it was a joke, yell at hi
Fighting with non-family members Read More »
“Some of my kids have developed bad habits such as finger-sucking, nose picking (and eating it), fingernail chewing, and touching their genitals. Do you have any experience or advice on helping children successfully break these kinds of habits? Some of my children have started doing such things from the time they are babies (finger-sucking), or have developed the habits a little later at around age 3 or so. And one daughter in particular seems particularly prone to this type of thing (she’s eight now).”
I did have some youth who had behaviors which are not social
“Help! I’ve been browing your website for a couple of days. Trying to find some answers- If I had the $ I’d be sending for the cd’s. But it’s not in the budget right now. I’m totally at my wits end with my 6 yr old.
I don’t know what else to do. He is ADHD- We’ve had him in with a counselor, and I have an appointment to talk about meds this afternoon. I don’t want to do meds for adhd, but I have to try something, because everything I’ve tried isn’t working. He’s only 6! I really don’t want to do meds, but I don’t know what else to try.
Should I Medicate? Read More »
We got home late. My four year old fell asleep on the way home. After waking up, he came in to go potty, get dressed and go to bed. From the bathroom I heard crying. He was in there for a long time. He was in the bathroom trying to clean up a mess that he had made in his pants.It was very stressful and disturbing to him to find a dirty pants problem. This stress along with his extreme tiredness made him very sad and he just couldn’t help crying.
A reader wrote to me telling me about a young neighborhood child that introduced things of a sexual nature to her daughter. This is not a fun subject. I have been avoiding putting it on the site, but the more I think about it, this topic is probably one of the biggest things parents face. How do we keep our children free from the disease of sexual impurity that seems to be taking over our world? How do we make them aware while not taking away their innocence?
The Times We Live In Part 1 Read More »
I was sitting on the couch today going over plans for our next trip when my six year old daughter, Londyn, sat down next to me and said, “We have to go to Virginia because you want to make the world better, don’t you? Not just our family, but other families too.” I said, “Yes” and smiled. I didn’t need to say anything else. It was very clear to me that she had developed an understanding of my mission. As a family, we talk about mission a lot. We try to analyze what other people’s missions might be. We talk about what kinds of skills we need to develop to find our personal mission
Mission By Example Read More »
Nicholeen,
I have one problem I have not figured out how to resolve. My son (6)is a great kid, but there is one thing that sets him off every time to the point that he hits, kicks, screams, says unkind things, and basically acts like the whole world is against him so why try. This happens every time without fail when he is caught with poopy pants.
Poopy Pants and Tantrums Read More »
Nicholeen, I have a 9-year old boy. He is a typical 9-year old boy, I believe, in that his mind (and mouth) is constantly going 200 miles an hour. His siblings are always waiting for him to stop talking so they can get a word in edgewise. He is full of ideas and loves to take things apart. We are having a problem with bedtime. He goes to bed just fine, but once there, he won’t go to sleep. We let him read for about 15-30 minutes once he’s in bed, then we come down and turn the lights out (for him and his younger brother who is 4).
“It’s Time To Go To Bed.” Read More »
Even after we teach our children how to follow an instruction or how to accept a NO answer, our children will sometimes forget that they can choose to say, “OK”. The other day I told my son that he needed to clean his room. I could tell that he didn’t want to do the task. His face started to pout. The second I saw this, I said, “Porter, say OK.” He looked right at me and said, “OK!” Then I praised him. It is alright to tell them exactly what to say. This helps them problem solve the very situation they are in. The child then gets the opportunity to see how easy it is to make the rig
Tell Them What to Say Read More »
