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Porter Peck Talks about James and Hannah

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I transcribed this rememberance of our BBC “World’s Strictest Parents” experience straight from the mouth of my five year old son Porter…..The grammar is unedited on purpose.  This is how he speaks.  🙂

My name is Porter and I am five 5.  James and Hannah came to stay with us and they were nice to me.  I remember that they liked to swing on our swings.  When they left our house I cried a lot because I was sad that they were going.  They were having attitudes a lot of the time and they wanted to

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Comment on World’s Strictest Parents

10 Comments / All, TSG Principles /

A comment on a previous post said:

Saw the show last night. And I felt credit where it’s due … I had to cringe at the behaviour of the two kids (because that’s what they were). And speaking as someone who isn’t religious, or abstemious (but who doesn’t over indulge beyond a glass of wine with a meal), I can only say I was very impressed by your patience, and the outcome …

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Stand For Something

1 Comment / All, Children (4-10), Home Culture, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

     One afternoon my children and I went on a walk to our local library.  The library is about one and a half miles from our home.  After a great time reading and exploring together in the library, we started our mile and a half walk home. 

     During the walk one of my small children mentioned he was hungry.  It was getting close to dinner time, and would still be a little while before we reached home.  When we were about a half way home we passed a home which had a large apple tree growing on the property.  The apples on the tree were perfectly ripe and large.  My son immediately notice

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Teaching Self Government requires Self Government

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        Another way I change my children’s hearts is to see what changes I have to make in myself.  If a relationship is suffering, it is usually a two person problem.  So, if I feel disconnected from my child, I take a good hard look at what I can do to change myself, motivate myself, and inspire myself.  In short, I try to see how I can live better so that I can inspire my child to live better.  In the past this has even required a new way of communicating to my family.  So far, this approach to changing hearts has been a big blessing for myself and my family. 

        If I am going to in

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It Changed My Life

2 Comments / All, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills /

I recently received a very inspiring email which answers the question “How will Teaching Self Government change my family?”   I love to see what Teaching Self Government looks like in other homes, so I thought you would enjoy it too.

TSG has change my life.  It has opened my eyes to the 4 basic communication skills.  It has given me hope that despite my upbringing, I can learn the skills to help me be a better parent and communicator with my children.  It helps me to pause when I’m really frustrated, to know what to say in any situation instead of constantly having to be creative

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Success Stories and Some Questions

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills /

Thank you so much for your teaching this subject! I purchased the CDs about two months ago when I heard about them through the LEMI mentors association, listened to them, took lots of notes, and put it into action at a family meeting about 3 weeks ago. It has been so helpful! It has already made a big difference in our home!

My eight year old son was having trouble obeying the first time i.e. following instruction, and we would ask him again and again to do things and he wouldn’t do them. He would forget or get distracted reading. (He’s a white, through and through.) Then we would get angry and he would do it. But he would sometimes get angry and lately even sometimes go into a little bit of a rage.

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Religion Affects Self Government Learning Capacity

2 Comments / All, TSG Principles, Youth (10-18) /

Lately, my teenage son doesn’t want to go to church with the family.  I don’t really want to make him go.  Even though he is not especially religious right now, he is still a good boy.  Should I be worried about this? 

     It is really common for children, and sometimes even adults, to go through a time when they don’t feel like being dedicated to religion.  It is hard work to live righteously, and follow religious principles.  All the really religious people I know have one thing in common.  They are all disciplined.  Since it is so common for youth to go through a

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criticism

Is Giving Criticism Bad?

3 Comments / All, Relationships, TSG Principles /

You use the word “criticism” often when you’re talking about corrective teaching…That word however, has a very negative connotation to me, and each time I hear you say it on your CD’s, I cringe inwardly… I listen to and read a lot of stuff on marriage and parenting, and the word “criticism” is always used as a negative term. It’s considered one of the 6 Love Busters in Harley’s book, Love Busters. John Gottman, in his books on marriage, includes it in “a set of particularly poisonous patterns of interaction [he calls] “the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” that can

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What about lying?

1 Comment / All, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills /

I was asked how I handle lying.  This is a very common problem with children who are trying to gain control of their lives and other people. 

In the past I have written many posts on lying.  Two posts which may especially be helpful are “Communicating Honestly”  And “Honesty“.  If you type these words into the light blue bar at the top right of this page and you will find them.  In fact you will find any post that mentions honesty in it.  I hope thi

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Peck Family Standard

2 Comments / All, Home Culture, Relationships, TSG Principles /

This last weekend at the seminar in Clearfield, UT I was asked for a copy of my family standard.  In case it is useful to anyone else, it is below.  Warning, this is three pages long on word.  You should be able to copy and paste it back to word if you want to use it too or take ideas from it.  🙂  It does contain some things that are specific to our family’s religion.  Regard those things how you will.  Each family’s family standard should include things from their religious foundations. 

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Question about “perfect families”

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There was a comment left on the “perfect families” post which said,

Have you found ways to keep from joining in the competition when you speak about your kids, and shut down competitive questions/remarks from others?

There is definitely a way to keep from joining in these kinds of competitions.  But, the way is not easy because it goes against human nature to seek evidence of personal success by comparing.  I have realized the act of comparing or one-upping usually happens when I stop listening to and caring about the parent talking to me and caring about my own fami

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Changing generations

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Youth (10-18) /

The Universe is governed by laws. One of those laws is that an older, wiser species comes before the new, innocent young of the same species to guide the younger toward right choices and acceptable behaviors. I have heard parents say before that their children didn’t come with instruction manuals. This is true, and each child is uniquely different, but I have wondered if parents make statements like these to make themselves feel better

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Family Meeting Question

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“In a family meeting, do the kids actually get to vote on the final decision, or are they just giving input and opinions, and then the parents make the decision?”

Good question.  Everyone votes in the family meeting.  On rarest of occasions the parents could veto a vote if it is dangerous or goes against the family mission statement or family morals in any way. 

The reason that everyone must vote, is because this is meeting where everyone in the family finds their focus and works on communicating to each other.  This is also where all the positive and negative co

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Balance for a mission mom?

1 Comment / All, Relationships, TSG Principles /

How do you balance your mission with your family mission?  Obviously helping

others learn to teach their children self-government takes a good deal

of your time away from your family so I’d love some tips.  God has

inspired me to reach out more to others and share my talents, but I

sometimes find it difficult to find a good balance with my #1 mission

of raising my family.

This question is a classic!  I love it.  What ambitious Mommy doesn’t struggle with this?

You are right, I have to pull off quite a balancing act to manage all of my missions. 

The famil

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The number one mission

Leave a Comment / All, Relationships, TSG Principles /

“My husband and I are listening to your CDs. We’ve heard you speak a few times but never got the whole thing before. Your CDs are definitely an answer to prayer. I’ve tried for a long time to figure out how to get my husband on board, but he always gets so BORED, lol! After listening to the first CD, I realized that I’m definitely the big dreamer/big picture/live for the moment type, and he’s the line drive/details/planner type – no wonder my efforts didn’t work. I had a big picture but no good details on how we were going to get there. Having the CDs gives my husband

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Honesty

Leave a Comment / All, Home Culture, Relationships, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills /

“I have two boys ages 7 and 4.  My 7yo has developed a couple problems: stealing and lying.  I think that I/we have been making the problem worse in the way we have handled it.  We also have a HUGE problem with not minding.  He is a very stubborn child and will not help us when trying to come up with consequences for his actions.  He says either, “I don’t know” or “give me a spanking” or something like that.  Those are NOT working, he seems to get worse with each consequence.

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If it’s right, it’s right!

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The following question and answer deals with something that many families deal with.  In order to raise the kind of family that is going to reach our 20 year vision, we have to make choices that are different from the mainstream of society.  These decisions are full of rewards as well as challenges.  Trust me, the rewards far out-weigh the challenges. 

 “You mention something in the beginning of the first CD that struck me right off and I’ve thought about a lot ever since.  “I’ve often felt that the Lord has chosen me to stand apart from the world.”

I had been feeling the same

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