This last weekend at the seminar in Clearfield, UT I was asked for a copy of my family standard. In case it is useful to anyone else, it is below. Warning, this is three pages long on word. You should be able to copy and paste it back to word if you want to use it too or take ideas from it. 🙂 It does contain some things that are specific to our family's religion. Regard those things how you will. Each family's family standardshould include things from their religious foundations.
The Peck Family Standard:
The following is a list of standards which the Peck family has promised to live by in order to live God’s will and become wholesome successful people who can inspire goodness in other people.
Things We Will and Won’t Do:
We will not gossip……..speak ill of others…………swear or take the Lord’s name in vain. All language will respect the body as a holy edifice. “Master your mother tongue and you will be able to make a mark upon the world that will be noticed.”
We will not wear clothing that shows our shoulders, stomachs, backs, or thighs. Swimsuits will go to the knee for boys, and girls will wear one piece, modest suits. Clothes that are too tight or closely fitted are inappropriate. All underwear must be completely covered by outside clothing. Clothing considered to be sloppy, dirty, or contain any emblems or pictures which do not invite the Spirit of our Lord are inappropriate. (i.e. skulls, naked people, or bad language) Our clothing is a statement to the world of what kind of people we are!
Our Body is a Temple and should be Kept Clean.
We will not pierce our bodies anywhere. However, girls can choose to have piercing for one pair of modest earrings if they choose. It is not encouraged.
We will not tattoo our bodies in any way. We will not even put fake tattoos on our bodies, because this would give the message that we agree with tattooing.
Boys will keep their hair styles conservative and cut short over the ears and on the forehead and neckline. Girls will also keep conservative hairstyles which properly show them as a beautiful daughter of God. Both boys and girls are encouraged to keep their hairstyles and overall appearances neat and clean. Proper hygiene is a tool to keep our home comfortable and enjoyable for all.
We do not consume alcoholic beverages, or addictive substances of any sort. i.e. beer, wine, cigarettes, cigars, drugs, energy drinks, hard liquor, coffee, tea, caffeinated drinks, etc. These substances go against the word of wisdom and are harmful to our health.
We believe in keeping our bodies healthy. We choose to exercise regularly, and eat foods which promote good health while at the same time staying away from foods and products which are not healthy for us. Moderation is all things definitely applies to sugar and other addictive foods. Work is an essential part of a healthy body and lifestyle too. We need healthy bodies to complete our missions on this earth.
We also need to exercise our minds by learning constantly, and by reading scripture and other thought provoking classical literature. We will only study the best and most useful things. Other trivial material is considered to be a waste of time. We call these things twaddle and don’t use them too often. Life is too short and there are too many great classics to waste our time on trivial material.
Too much attention on media distracts from doing God’s will.
We will not listen to music that has too hard of a beat, bad lyrics or does not feel conducive to the Spirit in our home.
We do not watch network television unless the parents feel the particular show is of value and are present for the viewing. Our family will have one movie night per week (Friday) when we watch movies as a family. On occasion the parents may authorize other movie viewing times for school, parties or other occasions.
Our family only watches movies rated G or PG. Even these movies must be authorized by the parents, because of the loose morals and language widely accepted in society. The parents may choose a PG-13 movie from time to time if it meets their standard of quality and strengthens the family.
We will never own a game boy or play station type device because of its addictive and distracting nature. If children get permission from parents to play such devices at friend’s homes, and the rating of the game is approved, then children may play these games and use these devices in moderation.
Computers are adult tools and will be treated as such. The family will buy some computer games which are seen as wholesome, enjoyable, and educational from time to time. These games will be able to be used if permission is granted by the parent.
Email: No children will have personal email accounts until they reach an age where they can be considered morally strong enough to stand firm against any unclean things which might accidentally come into their mail. They must also have developed enough wisdom to know how to budget their time wisely enough to not become consumed by the computer. There is no set age when a youth is ready for this privilege. Parents will base this decision upon the maturity and spirituality of the child. Until this time, parents will always be present when email is used. Children may use parent email to communicate with friends and family.
Internet: We recognize the internet as a great tool to learn many things, but also know that it has the power to destroy souls and families. We will use extreme caution with the internet. Children will only be able to use the internet under the supervision of their parents unless they have met the above mentioned maturity that is the criteria for using email. Computer will never be used in the privacy of the youth’s room or behind a closed door. This has been proven to encourage immoral use of computers in people around the world.
I-pods, mp3 players, cell phones etc: With each New Year, new electronic devices come out for the convenience of man. These inventions are marvelous if used properly! We know that these things can also be a means of distraction and destruction if used improperly or for immoral means. These devices will only be allowed to youth who have shown great maturity, and strength of character and spirit. Dishonesty, selfishness, attitude problems, pride, and apathy are all signs that a youth is not prepared to effectively govern over such devices.
Our family has an open door policy. This means that unless you are going to the bathroom, changing your clothes or wrapping presents, doors are to remain open. The only exception to this is the parent’s bedroom door. Bad things are often more likely to happen behind closed doors.
No friends can be in our home when the parents are not home. Likewise none of our children can be at friend’s homes unless their parents are also home.
Touching: There is appropriate touch and inappropriate touch. Appropriate touch for our family includes, kisses on the cheeks, hugs, holding hands, piggy backs, and wrestling. No one is to kiss on the lips unless they are a baby or married. No one is to touch another person in places that their underwear covers; either over or under clothing. The only exception would be if an older child is asked to help a younger child in the bathroom or with a diaper etc. No one is to lay on top of another person.
Outside of our family appropriate touch consists of shaking hands, hugs if appropriate, and patting someone on the back. Hand holding or linking arms can also be acceptable in some cases. Kissing, and close hugs etc. are to be reserved for the person you are going to marry. When you are engaged to that person these things would be appropriate, but still remember to keep yourself clean and pure for your wedding day. Some people don’t feel comfortable touching, so don’t over touch your friends.
The Family a Proclamation to the World issued September 23, 1995 is a document of great importance in these times. We adhere to and believe all the words written in that document regarding family, virtues, relationships, marriage and raising children. It is truly a document for our times.
Be kind to all people, but choose close friends who will strengthen you and bring you closer to good virtues. Good friends should love God, and understand what is right and wrong, good and bad, and true and false. These people will be a blessing to you your entire life. Don’t forget to be friendly to all people as long as friendliness feels safe, but for your close friends the ones that strengthen you are most dear.