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TSG Principles

Life Advice With Self-Government Principles: Teaching Self-Government to Anyone, Not Just Children

2 Comments / All, Relationships, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

My friend Jason Alba sent me this link to a great article about inspiring self-government in people in your community or sphere of influence. 

http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/51538 

“…I hope you will discipline yourselves and your fellow students. This request is in keeping with my commitment to self-government for students. It should not be up to me to enforce proper behavior that signifies the intelligence of Duke students. You should do it. Reprove those who make us all look bad. Shape up your own language…”  -Duke President Terry Sanford

The whole thing is really worth reading.  I hope you take the chance. 

Coach Sanford did some great things here.  He

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Television clips from today ~Parenting Tips

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills /

Today we had a great day with Debbie and Ron on The KJZZ morning show hosted by KUTV2 news station.  Below are the links to the two segments we appeared in.  Today’s topic was consequences and how to choose them. 

Segment one: http://connect2utah.com/content/fulltext/?cid=79502

Segment Two: http://connect2utah.com/media_player.php?media_id=119902

Television clips from today ~Parenting Tips Read More »

Families Working Together ~Mission Oriented Families

2 Comments / All, Home Culture, TSG Principles /

On the first CD of my Teaching Self Government Audio Seminar I speak about teaching your family about having a mission as a family group. The mission is what you will do to reach your family’s vision for the future. An important part of teaching your children about working toward a vision and living for a mission is teaching them about philanthropy, or service. Service is also an integral part of building strong character. We all know giving our children service opportunities helps them become more selfless, which aids in family unity. However, serving as a family also gives your children practice in living a mission for a vision. This practice will help them find success in projects their entire lives. As a family, we are always looking for a way to serve others. In fact,

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Changing Perspective…You Can Do It.

Leave a Comment / All, Home Culture, Relationships, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills /

Nicholeen,

I’ve got “bubblegum pink” paint all over the carpet (and some furniture) right now that should NOT be there, and I have yelled and got angry at 3 of the 9 kids one who is under 24 hr priviledge loss but didn’t have anything to do with it, and I came in to my computer to take a breather and look what I found in my inbox! I was already feeling bad, and your article is the big dose of truth I need, but how do you turn it around when you’ve really blown it? Do I just bounce in with my new perspective, apologize and ask for forgiveness? Did this happen to you in the beginning? Thanks and God bless with your health issues.

OH………………..That is frustrating for sure.  I feel your pain, and your frustration.  I have to say, I have never had that one happen before.  But, I have had my share of paint spills, gum on the carpet, bubble spills, and marker on the walls.  Some children are just naturally more curious than others aren’t they?  My children have never been too curious, but they have had friends over the years who have been and have started creative play in motion. 

To answer you question,

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Parenting Discipline ~Another Perspective

4 Comments / All, Home Culture, Relationships, TSG Principles /

One of Those Days

Have you ever had one of those days where you go, go, go?  On these days there are lots of places to get to, you are always running late and your children seem to be grumpy, whiny, and aggressive.  You don’t know if you’ll ever master getting out the door with a smile on your face and everyone in a good mood. 

At the ends of days like these we plop on the couch grateful that there is finally quiet in the house and still some chocolate ice cream in the freezer.  We hope the children will give us at least two hours of good sleep and that we might be able to actually check something off or our to-do list before we get to ‘turn in.’  These are the days we can’t wait to finish. 

I have felt those days too. 

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Happy Children Choose to be Happy

7 Comments / All, Relationships, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills /

Nicholeen: we’re doing our best to implement a system of family government following your plan.  I have the 6 cd set and I’ve listened to them twice, and I’m reading the book as well…

…What do you do about a child who chooses to be out of instructional control forever?  Just give him his 3 square meals a day, food, clothing, medical care, education, and otherwise let him be?  I decided to further restrict his privileges by only letting him take one bath a day for 30 minutes maximum.  (He likes to take about 6 to 8 baths a day usually.)  I also will fill up his waking time with chores and SODAS, but if he refuses to do them as he is now, do I just wait him out?  Keep asking him every 15 minutes if he’s ready to accept consequences yet?  What?

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Grandparents Parenting ~ And Principles for Good Communication With Anyone or Any Group

2 Comments / All, Relationships, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills /

“Grandparents need the lessons taught by Nicholeen. I have 43 grandchildren. As I took care of 5 of them just recently, using the “Family Council” as a way of solving problems (as taught by Nicholeen) was so helpful to me in working with the grandchildren. Thanks, Nicholeen!”

I loved this comment because it shows that the Teaching Self-Government communication principles can be used in all circumstances with any family members or friends.  I also find these principles helpful in group settings like teaching church classes or advising scouts or clubs. 

Principles to keep in mind in all settings:

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Parenting Toddlers and Parenting Teenagers ~Family Government in Action

1 Comment / All, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Youth (10-18) /

Parenting Toddlers ~ Small Successes

Nicholeen,

I’ve been working with my son Jack for the last six months to appropriately accept correction. He’s 21 months old. He’ll do something inappropriate, I’ll tell him the right thing to do and then say, “You say, ‘OK, mom.'” I’ve been wondering, over the course of the months, if my efforts were in vain. Was he too young? Would he ever get it?

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Stopping the Name Calling, and Crass Words

6 Comments / All, Home Culture, Relationships, TSG Principles /

“I was wondering….what do you do about name calling, or when children say bad words? My children say crap, stupid, dumb, etc… No matter how many times I tell them to stop, they don’t. So would you have them do a chore everytime they named called, or said a bad word? or Would you do something different?”

Name calling is obviously not appropriate because it destroys the feeling in the home and encourages contention and selfishness.  There are a couple of ways I handle this sort of thing. 

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Are You In Crisis?

7 Comments / All, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills /

The first page of Parenting A House United says:

“Is your home in crisis? Do your children never do what they are told? Do you find yourself completely overwhelmed and hating to interact with your children? Do your children treat you with disrespect and cause contention at home? Are you out of control of your emotions as a parent too? If any of these descriptions sound like your house, then you might be in crisis and you will definitely benefit from reading this book. It is written for you. This book is also written for people who don’t want to ever have a home like I have described above and for parents who want to have an effectively communicating family right from the very beginning of parenthood.”

If you consider yourself or your family in a crisis situation where you need a few quick tools to start changing things immediately at home then this post is for you. Thousands of people have bought the book at this point and some need to start implementing things before they have even read the whole book. Below are a few key chapters to read immediately to start making some useful changes before diving in and reading the whole book.

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Order at Home

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Home Culture, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

One of my passions is astronomy.  When I go out in my backyard and look through my telescope at my friends, the planets and stars, I feel so close to God.  Not because heaven is in space, but because it is so obvious there is organization in all things.  He is a God of order; with everything in it’s perfect place.  Everything has a purpose; a mission.  Since He is order in all we see it only makes sense that people should live by order too.  

Just like laws and principles govern the skies and the earth, there are laws meant to govern us as well.  That is why we have chosen to apply governing rules to our home too.  We feel like there is no better example of how to run a home than the way God runs our world; the current home for His family. 

Our family has a set structure.  We have certain meetings each week to strengthen the family relationships and keep the home in order.  The meetings we have are

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Londyn, Age 7, Tells About the BBC World’s Strictest Parents

2 Comments / All, TSG Principles /

     My name is Londyn and I am seven.  Hannah and James changed a lot by the end of the week they stayed with us.  And when they went home they made good changes.  Like James took his lip piercing out and he wants to stop smoking. 

     It was sort of sad that Hannah was a mom so young.  I wouldn’t do that if I was her.  But she was always

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Advice From the World’s Strictest Parent

Leave a Comment / All, Home Culture, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills /

“Hi Nicholeen, I hope you don’t mind me messaging you/adding you as a friend….I saw you recently on tv here in England, and as a mother of two I was so impressed and humbled by your patience and love. Nothing seemed to get you down. The love and respect your family have for each other was so apparent, and it did bring tears to my eyes. I would love to have that same patience, tolerance and sheer joy in my life that you do. I’d love to hear back from you, if you have the time, and if possible try and send me some of your calm and patience through the web!!”

 

     Thank you so much for your kind words. What age are your children? It is so good that you are trying to be the best mother you can be. There really is nothing more important for our world right now than parents raising good children who will fight for goodness in this confusing world. This is what I am doing at my house.

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Porter Peck Talks about James and Hannah

Leave a Comment / All, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills /

I transcribed this rememberance of our BBC “World’s Strictest Parents” experience straight from the mouth of my five year old son Porter…..The grammar is unedited on purpose.  This is how he speaks.  🙂

My name is Porter and I am five 5.  James and Hannah came to stay with us and they were nice to me.  I remember that they liked to swing on our swings.  When they left our house I cried a lot because I was sad that they were going.  They were having attitudes a lot of the time and they wanted to

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Comment on World’s Strictest Parents

10 Comments / All, TSG Principles /

A comment on a previous post said:

Saw the show last night. And I felt credit where it’s due … I had to cringe at the behaviour of the two kids (because that’s what they were). And speaking as someone who isn’t religious, or abstemious (but who doesn’t over indulge beyond a glass of wine with a meal), I can only say I was very impressed by your patience, and the outcome …

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Stand For Something

1 Comment / All, Children (4-10), Home Culture, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

     One afternoon my children and I went on a walk to our local library.  The library is about one and a half miles from our home.  After a great time reading and exploring together in the library, we started our mile and a half walk home. 

     During the walk one of my small children mentioned he was hungry.  It was getting close to dinner time, and would still be a little while before we reached home.  When we were about a half way home we passed a home which had a large apple tree growing on the property.  The apples on the tree were perfectly ripe and large.  My son immediately notice

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Teaching Self Government requires Self Government

Leave a Comment / All, Relationships, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills /

        Another way I change my children’s hearts is to see what changes I have to make in myself.  If a relationship is suffering, it is usually a two person problem.  So, if I feel disconnected from my child, I take a good hard look at what I can do to change myself, motivate myself, and inspire myself.  In short, I try to see how I can live better so that I can inspire my child to live better.  In the past this has even required a new way of communicating to my family.  So far, this approach to changing hearts has been a big blessing for myself and my family. 

        If I am going to in

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It Changed My Life

2 Comments / All, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills /

I recently received a very inspiring email which answers the question “How will Teaching Self Government change my family?”   I love to see what Teaching Self Government looks like in other homes, so I thought you would enjoy it too.

TSG has change my life.  It has opened my eyes to the 4 basic communication skills.  It has given me hope that despite my upbringing, I can learn the skills to help me be a better parent and communicator with my children.  It helps me to pause when I’m really frustrated, to know what to say in any situation instead of constantly having to be creative

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