“Nicholeen, how do I help my son stop attention seeking? He is nine years old and has to be the center of attention. At scouts, school and church he blurts things out when other people are talking and when their not talking. He talks back to his teachers. He distracts other children too by yelling […]
Attention Seeking Cure: How To Teach Social Skills Read More »
This week’s Gem is on improving your tone. It answers the question “How do you trust and help to change their hearts?”
“In your homes all you have to do is set up the system and trust that it will work. If you have that kind of trust you don’t need to try to force. Because remember the opposite of trust if force. Speed is not nearly important as the impact.” Nicholeen
Audio Gem: How Do I Trust? Read More »
When we take these gluten free brownies to parties everyone begs for the recipe. They are always so surprised when they find out that I make them gluten free. Even my husband, who doesn’t prefer gluten free, LOVES these. If you don’t cook gluten free, there is a non-gluten version as well. Enjoy! And Happy
Nicholeen’s Best Ever Gluten Free Brownies Read More »
While standing in line for a bus one day I heard a woman say to a friend, "If any one in my family has a hard time staying calm it is me, and my children know it. But, we have a vocabulary that has changed everything so that I can stay calm more often now."
How Children Disagreeing Appropriately Taught One Mom Self-Government Read More »
This is a Gem from a conversation between Nicholeen and millionaire Jerry Norton. Jerry Norton said “Having money does not make you greedy or bad. It makes you more of what you already are. So if you’re a giving sharing person, it will make you more giving and sharing. If you’re greedy it will make you more greedy. Money just makes you more of what you already are.”
Can We Have A Relationship With Money? Read More »
Read Nicholeen’s exclusive article for TSG Gems on creating stable moral government in your home. She says, “There are many things that are attacking the morals in our families these days. In fact, along with distraction, the attack on family values and morals is the biggest problem our society is facing right now. Society is becoming more and more vulnerable to these attacks because the families are not fortifying themselves against the attacks.
If families have solid beliefs/morals and create family cultures where those morals and beliefs are nurtured, then the family cannot be manipulated by the latest social trends. The family standard is a document that helps morally direct the family’s decisions. This document is drafted by mom and dad with the help of God’s natural laws so that it consists of actual morals and principles that will protect and free the family.”
Having a Moral Family Government Read More »
Do you have a hard time recognizing a power struggle?
This week’s Video Gem is on recognizing power struggles so we can stop them without getting sucked into them. I heard a description a while ago that a power struggle is like a tornado and it wants to suck you in and leave behind destruction in it’s path.
In this video we see Jackie (Mom) answering questions about Jackie’s (daughter) concerns. Then after Nicholeen helps her to see the power struggle, she begins to discuss and address the behavior that is causing the problem. We need to stop the power struggles before. like a tornado, they destroy your family relationships .
Video Gem: Recognizing Power Struggles Read More »
The human voice is amazing! Think of all the things it can do. It can whisper, laugh, make animal noises, talk, sing, and yell. All these different voice tricks are useful in communicating and connecting or disconnecting with each other. Yelling can be used for connecting or disconnecting. If I can’t find my child in
Yelling At My Family: How To Break The Habit Read More »
This last January I got a phone call from a friend telling me that she was pretty sure Glenn Beck was reading my book because of some of the things he said on his radio program about a book he was reading. In 2010 I had given Glenn a copy of my book so I
Accepting A No Answer From Glenn Beck’s Body Guards Read More »
Don’t you just wish you could do the most effective things as a parent and avoid bad behavior all together?
I love this class because it focuses on the idea that “Good = Good”. Nicholeen talks about how we need to correct bad behavior to teach our children through cause and effect to show them bad = bad. It is easier to look at the bad. It is harder to focus on the good. I think of praise as the work we do to swim upstream in the river of life, while the reactive things we do floats us down the river of life in the path of least resistance.
This Gem features Nicholeen reading and discussing a delightful book called “Hip, Hip, Hooray for Annie McRae” by Brad Wilcox. As one of the 8 Tips of Effective praise, Nicholeen talks about praising and really listening.
What is the very most effective thing you can do as a parent? Read More »
My favorite quote from this Gem is this:
“We need to start by forming a vision of what we want our characters to be, and our children need to have the opportunity to form that vision about themselves as well. And then they need to learn how to act. This is done by modeling. If we have a vision of what our character is going to be [then they will have a vision of what they want their characters to be.]”
What is the vision of your character? Read More »
No matter where teenagers are, they often behave similarly. So, even though I don’t know each teenager personally, I do know how to help them decide to change. And, after teaching for a month in the UK I see even more clearly that teenagers all over the world have the same needs.
What Does A Changed Heart Look Like? Read More »
Some people may have never heard the term self-government. Others may not really see why they should care about the term at all. Lots of the those people are children.
Why should a person care about about learning self-government principles and skills? Simple. If a person is able to self-govern then that person has more happiness and more freedom.
The Reason Self-Government Matters To People Read More »
This is my favorite quote from Nicholeen on this Gem:
“What we’re talking about today is freedom for yourselves: freedom for your body, freedom for your mind, and freedom for your heart. Those are the 3 parts of a soul. They are meant to work together, not against each other. When a person learns to put all together working in harmony, that person has extreme happiness. Self-government is power.”
Becoming Free Through Self-Government Read More »
Along with doing lots of self-government teaching here in the UK we are trying to see some of the sites. And, so far the presentations have gone very well. Hearts have been touched, and families are inspired to be more united. The site seeing has also been enjoyable, except for one moment in Buckingham Palace
I Lost My Child In Buckingham Palace Read More »
“Nicholeen, I struggle every day getting my children out the door for school. Leaving for family activities is hard too. I hate to admit this, but my children aren’t exactly young any more either. So, there shouldn’t be excuses. How do I get them out the door without raising my voice or losing control? It’s so frustrating.”
Chaos? Getting Children Out The Door: The Calm Way! Read More »
All of us know that we need to seek to understand because of so many great books of wisdom that have been printed in the past. We may even want to understand. Eventually our heart leads us to come to a place where we ask “How do I really understand their heart when we see things so differently?”
Seeking to understand is truly the journey from selfish to sacrifice. Obviously the expanse cannot be traveled in one day. There is, however, one thing each of us can do today to take one step forward in this direction…
Gem: Seeing Eye To Eye Read More »
“What if the Revolutionary War never happened?” “Then cows would sing at baseball games.” or “What if sausage was a health food?” “Then everyone would wear red shoes on Wednesdays.” What? Does any of this make sense to you? That’s the whole point. This hilarious game was taught to me this last week by my
What If? —A Great Game For A Hilarious Family Activity! Read More »
The window plays a very key role in your relationship. The window absorbs all the negative emotion coming from the other side and keeps it from getting through to you. As you see the other person from your side of the window, you are able to send back love for hate. You can see them in a way that allows you to love them and allows them to change because you are not judging them. If you got angry or reacted to the negative they sent out, it could cause them to drive deeper into their negative behavior.
Gem, The Window Principle Read More »
At a recent parenting workshop I spoke at I was deeply touched at the transformation of one man. Jed Norwood, a devoted father, said, “That was real courage.” This was his statement after he saw me and my fifteen year old daughter demonstrate how the Rule of Three works.
A Courageous Parent: One Man’s Transformational Experience Read More »