Do you have a hard time recognizing a power struggle?
This week's Video Gem is on recognizing power struggles so we can stop them without getting sucked into them. I heard a description a while ago that a power struggle is like a tornado and it wants to suck you in and leave behind destruction in it's path.
I remember the first time I saw today's video from the Family Tutorial DVD. As I wached this interaction, something struck me boldly and I finally recognized clearly: the problem is not the problem. The problem happens when we emotionally react and get sucked into the problem. A power struggle is also like a tree where we could continually hack away at the branches of behavior and not really fix the problem. To solve the problem, we must truly learn to look deeper into the roots to see what is causing the problem. Before we can effectively discuss what is causing the emotional reaction, we must first get calm so that we can think and communicate clearly.
To learn more about how to analyze and recognize the problem, see The Four Keys of Self-Government. The true beginning of fixing a problem is to recognize it's original source. As you continue to work at the first step of the 4 Keys, to analyze, you will gradually recognize more and become more discerning at recognizing the actual cause. Analyzing is like a muscle that you have to continually work to get stronger.
In this video we see Jackie (Mom) answering questions about Jackie's (daughter) concerns. Then after Nicholeen helps her to see the power struggle, she begins to discuss and address the behavior that is causing the problem. While you watch this video think about how you react in similar situations. What can you do to better recognize power struggles in your home? What do you need to do to stop them before they destroy your family relationships?
We may not always be able to do everything all the time, but we can always do something. As a good friend just reminded me, “By small and simple means great things are brought to pass.”
To the victory of your children's children,