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4 Comments / All, Home Culture, TSG Principles /

One of my passions is astronomy. When I go out in my backyard and look through my telescope at my friends, the planets and stars, I feel so close to God. Not because heaven is in space, but because it is so obvious there is organization in all things. He is a God of order; with everything in it’s perfect place. Everything has a purpose; a mission. Since He is order in all we see it only makes sense that people should live by order too.

Just like laws and principles govern the skies and the earth, there are laws meant to govern us as well. That is why we have chosen to apply governing rules to our home too. We feel like there is no better example of how to run a home than the way God runs our world; the current home for His family.

Our family has a set structure. We have certain meetings each week to strengthen the family relationships and keep the home in order. The meetings we have are

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School Problems ~When The Classroom Comes Home

3 Comments / All, Home Culture, Relationships, School, TSG Principles /

“I have a 5 year old son that is in kindergarten.  He loves school because of all his friends there…  Unfortunately with school I see him still coming home with some bad habits that we must work to break.  I think his teacher is great but with all the kids in the class she can’t be expected to enforce/reward self-government principles.  My concern is that he is getting confused with discipline at home and less discipline at school.  How do you address this issue with your kids?”

It is hard to have a child come home from school with behaviors you need to break all the time.

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Parenting Questions: What to do when they think they are the parent

4 Comments / All, Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

Question:

“The biggest struggle we have with my son is that he wants to be the parent – he wants to be in control, not necessarily of my husband and I, but of the rest of the kids (he’s #2 of 5).  For instance, this morning he made himself a “dessert sandwich” (he just made this up, bread with butter and cinnamon on it) before breakfast, but got mad and yelled at our 2 year old for getting into the fridge to get an apple while he still had the sandwich in his hand.  Even me standing there saying “It’s okay, she can have the apple” didn’t calm things right away.  ALL THE TIME he gets after his siblings for things he sees as wrong, but he himself can do no wrong, even if he’s doing the same things they are.”

About Parents

I love how at the beginning of this question you say that your son thinks he’s the parent and then at the end you say that he can do no wrong even though he is doing the same thing.  These two statements together in the same paragraph make me smile because that is just what most parents really do.   They get after the children for doing what they, the parents, are doing all the time too.  These parents for some reason feel like if they don’t have to look at their short comings in their children then the short comings aren’t really there and don’t need to be addressed. 

I will never forget

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Families Working Together ~Mission Oriented Families

2 Comments / All, Home Culture, TSG Principles /

On the first CD of my Teaching Self Government Audio Seminar I speak about teaching your family about having a mission as a family group. The mission is what you will do to reach your family’s vision for the future. An important part of teaching your children about working toward a vision and living for a mission is teaching them about philanthropy, or service. Service is also an integral part of building strong character. We all know giving our children service opportunities helps them become more selfless, which aids in family unity. However, serving as a family also gives your children practice in living a mission for a vision. This practice will help them find success in projects their entire lives. As a family, we are always looking for a way to serve others. In fact,

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Changing Perspective…You Can Do It.

Leave a Comment / All, Home Culture, Relationships, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills /

Nicholeen,

I’ve got “bubblegum pink” paint all over the carpet (and some furniture) right now that should NOT be there, and I have yelled and got angry at 3 of the 9 kids one who is under 24 hr priviledge loss but didn’t have anything to do with it, and I came in to my computer to take a breather and look what I found in my inbox! I was already feeling bad, and your article is the big dose of truth I need, but how do you turn it around when you’ve really blown it? Do I just bounce in with my new perspective, apologize and ask for forgiveness? Did this happen to you in the beginning? Thanks and God bless with your health issues.

OH………………..That is frustrating for sure.  I feel your pain, and your frustration.  I have to say, I have never had that one happen before.  But, I have had my share of paint spills, gum on the carpet, bubble spills, and marker on the walls.  Some children are just naturally more curious than others aren’t they?  My children have never been too curious, but they have had friends over the years who have been and have started creative play in motion. 

To answer you question,

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Parenting Discipline ~Another Perspective

4 Comments / All, Home Culture, Relationships, TSG Principles /

One of Those Days

Have you ever had one of those days where you go, go, go?  On these days there are lots of places to get to, you are always running late and your children seem to be grumpy, whiny, and aggressive.  You don’t know if you’ll ever master getting out the door with a smile on your face and everyone in a good mood. 

At the ends of days like these we plop on the couch grateful that there is finally quiet in the house and still some chocolate ice cream in the freezer.  We hope the children will give us at least two hours of good sleep and that we might be able to actually check something off or our to-do list before we get to ‘turn in.’  These are the days we can’t wait to finish. 

I have felt those days too. 

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Changing Parenting Styles ~The Honeymoon

5 Comments / All, Home Culture, Using TSG Skills /

…We just started this approach to parenting a few weeks ago, and while the first couple of weeks went well because the kids all loved the praise and even the novelty of picking jobs out of a jar, we’ve hit this bump where most are dawdling, and adding another chore that just doesn’t get done doesn’t seem effective so we’ve started losing privileges for unfinished work. Granted, they are ages 8 and under, and perhaps I need to keep teaching the jobs rather than assume they know since I taught them once or twice. Thanks so much for sharing, both of you! I’m learning so much!

Keep up the good work!  You went through your honeymoon stage and now you have hit the part where the children are hoping you will lose your consistency.  They are testing to see if you are really going to stick to your new family government system.  Keep talking about your vision and Stay consistent. 

I have found that dawdling only continues to be a problem if the parents

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Stopping the Name Calling, and Crass Words

6 Comments / All, Home Culture, Relationships, TSG Principles /

“I was wondering….what do you do about name calling, or when children say bad words? My children say crap, stupid, dumb, etc… No matter how many times I tell them to stop, they don’t. So would you have them do a chore everytime they named called, or said a bad word? or Would you do something different?”

Name calling is obviously not appropriate because it destroys the feeling in the home and encourages contention and selfishness.  There are a couple of ways I handle this sort of thing. 

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Order at Home

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Home Culture, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

One of my passions is astronomy.  When I go out in my backyard and look through my telescope at my friends, the planets and stars, I feel so close to God.  Not because heaven is in space, but because it is so obvious there is organization in all things.  He is a God of order; with everything in it’s perfect place.  Everything has a purpose; a mission.  Since He is order in all we see it only makes sense that people should live by order too.  

Just like laws and principles govern the skies and the earth, there are laws meant to govern us as well.  That is why we have chosen to apply governing rules to our home too.  We feel like there is no better example of how to run a home than the way God runs our world; the current home for His family. 

Our family has a set structure.  We have certain meetings each week to strengthen the family relationships and keep the home in order.  The meetings we have are

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Advice From the World’s Strictest Parent

Leave a Comment / All, Home Culture, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills /

“Hi Nicholeen, I hope you don’t mind me messaging you/adding you as a friend….I saw you recently on tv here in England, and as a mother of two I was so impressed and humbled by your patience and love. Nothing seemed to get you down. The love and respect your family have for each other was so apparent, and it did bring tears to my eyes. I would love to have that same patience, tolerance and sheer joy in my life that you do. I’d love to hear back from you, if you have the time, and if possible try and send me some of your calm and patience through the web!!”

 

     Thank you so much for your kind words. What age are your children? It is so good that you are trying to be the best mother you can be. There really is nothing more important for our world right now than parents raising good children who will fight for goodness in this confusing world. This is what I am doing at my house.

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Stand For Something

1 Comment / All, Children (4-10), Home Culture, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

     One afternoon my children and I went on a walk to our local library.  The library is about one and a half miles from our home.  After a great time reading and exploring together in the library, we started our mile and a half walk home. 

     During the walk one of my small children mentioned he was hungry.  It was getting close to dinner time, and would still be a little while before we reached home.  When we were about a half way home we passed a home which had a large apple tree growing on the property.  The apples on the tree were perfectly ripe and large.  My son immediately notice

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Fathers figuring things out

3 Comments / All, Home Culture, Relationships, Using TSG Skills /

Recently I have had multiple people email with questions about their husbands.  It seems that some fathers are reluctant to make changes in their family culture and systems even when the rest of the family is already using the teaching-self-government system.  Even though I am speaking from a woman’s perspective today to women primarily, I have also had fathers email about their wives not wanting to change, so the topic is valid for both mothers and fathers.

     Why is it that one parent can be ready for change and another isn’t?  The answer to this question is probably individual in many

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Success Stories and Some Questions

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills /

Thank you so much for your teaching this subject! I purchased the CDs about two months ago when I heard about them through the LEMI mentors association, listened to them, took lots of notes, and put it into action at a family meeting about 3 weeks ago. It has been so helpful! It has already made a big difference in our home!

My eight year old son was having trouble obeying the first time i.e. following instruction, and we would ask him again and again to do things and he wouldn’t do them. He would forget or get distracted reading. (He’s a white, through and through.) Then we would get angry and he would do it. But he would sometimes get angry and lately even sometimes go into a little bit of a rage.

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Have You Ever Done This?

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, Using TSG Skills /

A parent says, “Billy, come make your bed.” 

Billy doesn’t come immediately so the parent says,”One…….Two………Three.” to get Billy to come. 

Have you ever done this?  Everyone knows Billy better start running either at or before his mom hits the number three or else Mom could turn into a monster. 

As I travel around, I notice counting to three as possibly the most common parenting control method.  Counting has it’s place in parenting, but the counting in the above story is either a threat, a power struggle, or a sign of a parent who doesn’t real

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Sunday chores again.

Leave a Comment / All, Home Culture /

What about extra chores?

On Sundays we don’t do heavy work, or major maintenances in order to keep our Sabbath.  But children still make bad choices on Sundays.  My policy is this:

If my child chooses to earn an extra chore on a Sunday then I try to think of something that I would normally have to do on that day anyway; such as make cookies for a family treat, or put all the books back on the shelf etc.  Remember, all chores don’t have to be miserable, they just have to teach cause and effect.  A person doesn’t have to feel pain to learn. 

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Peck Family Standard

2 Comments / All, Home Culture, Relationships, TSG Principles /

This last weekend at the seminar in Clearfield, UT I was asked for a copy of my family standard.  In case it is useful to anyone else, it is below.  Warning, this is three pages long on word.  You should be able to copy and paste it back to word if you want to use it too or take ideas from it.  🙂  It does contain some things that are specific to our family’s religion.  Regard those things how you will.  Each family’s family standard should include things from their religious foundations. 

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