Sadly, teaching strategies for proper social and emotional health are often unorganized and conflicting. Parents are left feeling like they need to choose between teaching children to have self-control and teaching children to be emotionally heard. These choices seem like opposites to most people. But, to a person who has true emotional intelligence, both of […]
One Easy Way To Increase Emotional Maturity In Children Read More »
THIS IS A FULL, FREE CLASS! In this podcast, Teaching Self-Government brings you an all-new class! The topic was requested by school administrators and parents who are worried about children being prepared to navigate this crazy world and defend themselves, and wondering just what it takes to do that. Nicholeen and Paije share 12 lessons
Podcast 68 – Stand Out & Speak Up: Self-Government Principles For Our Day! Read More »
In this podcast, Nicholeen and Paije discuss how self-government applies to young children. Can babies and toddlers learn to govern themselves? Yes! Listen in for some great tips and skills for applying Teaching Self-Government with your little ones! https://tsg-podcasts.s3.amazonaws.com/2020/December/TSGPodcast42-BabiesNeedSelfGovernmentToo-Dec5-2020.mp3
Podcast 42 – Babies Need Self-Government Too! Read More »
In this podcast, Nicholeen and Paije discuss how self-government can apply to heated political situations. No matter your political stance, there’s bound to be someone who disagrees with you. When conversation gets heated, what goes on inside someone’s head? What are you going to do? Can self-government skills help keep things calm, even with differing
Podcast 37 – Drama, Games, and Surviving The Election Read More »
In this podcast, Nicholeen and Paije discuss good civil discourse, what it is, the difference between civil disobedience and destructive behaviors, what it all looks like, and how it affects the family and societal relationships. Not only is the problem discussed, but Nicholeen and Paije share 6 steps that can be taken to achieve good
Podcast 17 – Good Civil Discourse Read More »
A few years ago, a reader wrote, “My kids love being able to disagree appropriately, but I don’t want them to do it every single time! They’re smart and have good reasons for wanting to do things a different way, and sometimes I’m happy to let them change our direction.But I don’t like taking the time to listen to their opinion every time I ask them to do something they don’t want to do.Suggestions?”
Disagreeing Appropriately Read More »
“Yesterday my 8 year old was grumpy when asked to do something, so he earned a negative consequence. I asked him to choose a job from the job jar.I explained that the job would help him change his heart.He then got very cheerful and said he was sorry for being grumpy… and wanted to be allowed to not do the job because he had changed (after all, he reasoned, the attitude was the reason for the extra job).
Always Stay Consistent with Consequences Earned Read More »
Message from Paije Peck (Nicholeen’s Daughter) Disagreeing appropriately is, by far, my favorite self-government skill. As a youth, it proves to be one of the most helpful skills to have too. Not only is it helpful, it’s very important for the structure of the home. Disagreeing appropriately is a great way to get my point
Why I Love Disagreeing Appropriately Read More »
[video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGKZXQd0G0I] Last week my post was about sibling rivalry. Here is a movie which shows how knowing to disagree appropriately is a skill which helps sibling rivalry.
This sibling rivalry solution video was filmed while I was doing some private self-government teaching for a family. I thought the children did very well with their new skills! It is hard to learn new stuff. But, both children will have much more happiness now that they understand that disagreeing appropriately is for their relationsh
Sibling Rivalry Movie: Computer Fights Read More »
Hey, I have read your book and have been trying to implement the system, however I have a few questions. My oldest son is 11, he has trouble controlling his emotions and talking back. Here is an example of a typical situation; I ask him to do something he makes a face and might say a smart remark but he will look me in the eye after I remind him and will say ok sarcastically then he will go do the chore.
He follows the steps the right way about 50% of the time. Today he was out of instructional control and me telling him that if he chose not to follow my instructions that the was going to chose to earn another chore didn’t work. He just sat there, so I left the room for a few minutes and when I came back he was ready to follow instructions. However he was only ready after I told him that he was going to lose all his privileges. My question is how long should he lose his privileges? He was calm, he just didn’t want to follow my instructions when I asked the first time.
He also talks back too much or tries to argue.
Back Talking vs. Appropriate Disagreements & The Rule of Three Read More »
Q: “My Older children like to use the “disagreeing Appropriately” in what I consider to be inappropriate ways. For instance if I give an instruction that they simply don’t feel like doing, they disagree appropriately. I find that I want to say “no, you can’t disagree appropriately” because, I don’t feel it is appropriate to disagree to help. Yet, if I don’t allow them to disagree, then I get considerably more arguing and whining. And if I allow it, but don’t let them out of the request, I worry that I am never rewarding them for disagreeing appropriately. Any suggestions on how to overcome this? On a positive note, my 5 year old is using this a lot better, and it has cut down on his whining considerably.”
A:
The fact that your children like to use disagreeing appropriately shows they have learned that calmly discussing works better than having an attitude problem or other alternative. It could also mean your children think they have found a
Disobedient Children -They don’t want to help out – No Answers Read More »
When I see my children are getting frustrated, I gently remind them that they can disagree appropriately. I even tell my children exactly how to disagree with ME sometimes. The point of the skill is to learn how to stop emotion and problem solve instead of get upset, and to learn when it’s a good time to appropriately disagree.
The Why’s To Disagreeing Appropriately Read More »