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Support Call 1-3-2014

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We had some great questions on the call today. Here are a few of the things we discussed:

  • Thoughts on the changes brought by the new year
  • Discussion on choosing to parent differently than I was raised
  • What is personal vision and how can it be achieved?
  • My 4-year-old who has had several behaviors I have not known what to do with. What are appropritate consequences for his actions?
  • I’m notsureifIam lecturingor if I am being deliberate.Whatisthedifference?
  • I keep hearing about relationships and sacrifice. What am I supposed to be sacrificing to be able to improve relationships?

Support Call 1-3-2014 Read More »

stressed

Stressed Out To Chilled Out ~ My True Story

7 Comments / All, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills /

I am not a stress out type person. My part ‘yellow’ personality usually keeps me rather laid back and happy no matter what troubles come my way. This has been a blessing many times in my life. But, I can feel stress, and sometimes I do. Here is my story of how I conquered the worse case of stress I have had.

Stress And Anxiety Symptoms

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Conference Call 11-16-12

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This call covers:

  • Correcting behavior while traveling and what to do when you have different standards from the people you are visiting.Falling off the TSG wagon and getting back up.What to do when you spouse isn’t on board.
  • 14 year old manipulative son and Disagreeing Appropriately
  • Loss of privileges on a Sunday. Daughter plans her loss of privileges to happen when she can’t lose them.
  • Discouragement
  • When and how to teach the family the TSG program
  • Children’s friends who keep bringing electronic devices to the house. What to do about it.
  • Role Play Ideas for making it more fun, staying away from bribing and the upcoming video
  • Pulling yourself out of a slump

Conference Call 11-16-12 Read More »

Conference Call 4-29-11

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Nicholeen shares two stories. One about Londyn and her mouth spreader and relates it to her friend learning about parenting and how to implement new skills. The second story is about her compost pile. She talks about vision, family relationships, the Hero Generation, preparing our families.

Questions:

  • Is it okay for your family to meet at a spiritual place of worship in our family vision?
  • My oldest child is 20 years old and no longer lives with us. How do I share our family vision with her? I have asked her to say daily and memorize it.

Conference Call 4-29-11 Read More »

Conference Call 4-22-11

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Nicholeen shares 3 Tips.

Tip 1: Talks about how to help those who are feeling overwhelmed with life or feel anxiety about whether their communication is received properly. (This includes: mothering, parenting, homeschooling, etc.)

Tip 2: Talks about vision and how we achieve becoming who we want to be come or what mission we want to obtain.

Tip 3: Talks about capacity and how to get everything accomplished.

Questions:

  • I’m having major issues with my 12 year old son. I don’t want to seem him, he is extremely out of control and acting like he is 7 years old. What do I do?
  • Will I have access to this program and material after the initial 10-12 weeks? The support calls are monthly subscription to continue. But you will still have access to the information on the Implementation course. (Updated as of summer 2014)
  • I’ve been struggling with our 20 year vision for our family since I first heard you talk. How do I make and achieve this?
  • What does a Time-out look like for little children as compared to the Rule of 3?
  • How is Teaching Self Government different from Love and Logic (giving choices)?
  • My 3 year old threw a trantrum and I had to take him into the hallway and leave my other children inside by themselves, what do you recommend for this type of situation?
  • I am struggling with distractions while trying to run the household and a homeschool. How do I know if am being successful?
  • Nicholeen recommends balancing and prioritizing. Top 6 Priorities

Conference Call 4-22-11 Read More »

Conference Call 4-15-11

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Nicholeen shares some stories about the importance of having a vision for you and your children. She is often contacted by individuals who have see in the BBC show. She tells about a girl who is lost and not sure what to do with her life and is considering apprenticing as a piercing person.

  • What if your child (or teenager) doesn’t care about the family vision or says it is stupid? That’s what seems to be happening with one of our kids.Nicholeen shares 5 ideas about vision.
  • I have a question about the content of vision. Would it be bad to make our family being in the rodeo as part of our vision?Or do I just change the vision if my children’s interests change.
  • 7 year old not calm after rule of 3 and needs to be taken out of the room. I can’t take him due to back it sends me into panic mode. He doesn’t like to be taken there. But he is attention seeking with the tantrum. 5 second rule. Power struggle mode. Soft hold. Exception to rule. Be intuitive. Special moment, counseling session. I noticed good. I noticed every so often you arent happy. I decided in order to help you be happy to do a soft hold. You are in bondage to your emotions and I am going to free you.
  • Help! I need advice as soon as possible. We just found out that our 17 year old has been drinking he was twice the legal limit and has been smoking 4 cigerettes per day. He needs to go to detox and a smoking cessation program. What do we do?
  • My 17 year old daughter makes mountains out of mole holes in regards to computer time and her social life. She will get really upset. She’s is a really good girl and the extreme is that she recently started cutting herself. Part of it is my fault since we really don’t have a structure in place for.

Conference Call 4-15-11 Read More »

family playing outside

Family Night Ideas: Our Top Ten Affordable Activities

2 Comments / All, Announcements, Relationships /

10 Favorites for Family Night

Family activity nights are big deals at our house! Not that we spend a lot of money or anything, but we do keep them a big priority. We know that having regular family activities keeps our family relationships fresh. The night gives us something to talk about and look forward to.

Here are is a list of our top ten activities which don’t really cost anything:

1- “Knock Your Socks Off”

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Conference Call 4-8-11

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After her brother’s wedding Nicholeen shares a nugget of wisdom“Receiving your Spouse”. She discusses the importance of receiving and improving your relationship with your spouse, gives an assessment, and discusses the3 Types of Communication.

Questions:

  • My husband thinks I am too much of a softy and that kids need more aggressive measures than just talking about it. So do I go his way or make him come my way?
  • My children are 10, 12, and14 year olds but they act like 3 year olds. The feeling in the house is total contention there’s been fighting, squabbling, teasing, sibling rivalry, they are being destructive.My goal to stay calm. What do I do?
  • Talking helps me understand my thoughts.What do I do when there is something I need to talk concerning my spouse? I know you mentioned that we shouldn’t talk behind our spouses back?
  • We are trying to implement things in your book. I have older kids who don’t care for the changes. My husband says we need to get back to core and back to the relationships with them. How do you suggest we start implementing Self-Government?

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mother_teen_arguing

“My Child Won’t Listen to Me”

4 Comments / All /

I have a daughter who frequently rages and manipulates. She is out of control almost as often as she is in control. When I talk to her about her behaviors she doesn’t listen. She looks away and tries to manipulate our emotions. We tell her that her behaviors are bad and that she needs to be better so that our lives aren’t so full of negative feelings, but she just doesn’t get it. What are we doing wrong?

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Successful Parenting Starts With A Vision

Successful Parenting Starts With A Vision

In my last article I shared how the Chinese people I went to speak to in Beijing learned about making a family vision. While writing that article I knew more explanation about creating a family vision was needed.

If you talk to the most successful parents about what they did to help their children behave properly, and make good life choices, they will give you a laundry list of things.

Successful Parenting Starts With A Vision Read More »

Calm In A Hurry?

8 Comments / All, Relationships /

The opposite of calm is hurry. If you feel like you have to hurry all the time, then you will never be calm. Also, if you feel like you have to hurry through your teaching interactions with your children then you will also have a harder time staying calm. Don’t let your desire for being efficient ruin your ability to be calm. The great philosopher William Jordan said:

The first sermon in the world was preached at the Creation. It was a Divine protest against Hurry. It was a Divine object lesson of perfect law, perfect plan, perfect order, perfect method. Six days of work carefully planned, scheduled and completed were followed by,–rest.

Calm In A Hurry? Read More »

time out

Tips For Using Time-out With Toddlers

9 Comments / All, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

“My 2yo has started crying a LOT the past few days. Over every little thing. Nothing is different physically or environmentally that I can tell. He already has his 2yo molars, too.. He’s just been crying about everything that he doesn’t like, with some pretty good tantrums thrown in the mix of the average crying. I tried holding him in timeout (he’s never stayed in time out on his own so far), but he screamed and threw a serious tantrum the whole time.. which wouldn’t be a problem for me except that I have to take care of the other kids, too! I tried holding him in our time-out spot until he was done with the tantrum so I could praise him for being happy, etc., but after 40 minutes of continuous screaming, my baby was also crying, needing to be fed, and the other young kids had destroyed the basement. At that point I just took him to his bed to finish his crying fit. So I’m thinking the holding in time out option might not work for us. Yesterday and today I’ve started just taking him to his room when he starts having a breaking down crying fit. What would you suggest? Do you think I should just take him to his room every time he cries? Or should I try

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A strict parent?

1 Comment / All, Relationships /

I was recently asked if I thought I was a strict parent. I’ve never liked the word strict, because I associat it with a parent who yells a lot, is stern looking and engages in power struggles. So, in response to the question, I said, “I wouldn’t use the word strict to describe me, but I would say I am firm.” I shared these thoughts about the word strict with a wise friend of mine. She looked me in the eye and said, “You are wrong about people who are strict. A strict parent DOESN’T HAVE TO YELL.” All of a sudden I wondered if the semantics of the word strict have been chang

A strict parent? Read More »

Dealing with Friends part 4

Leave a Comment / All, Home Culture, Relationships, Using TSG Skills /

How do you help your children stand up for what’s right without being “preachy” or “goody-goody”?

The most importantskill you can teach your child is how to determine what is right and what is wrong and how to choose right and stay away from wrong. This is the whole reason children need parents. If my child can’t match his outfits, doesn’t know how to do mathematics well, never changes his bed sheets, ortalks with his mouth full, it doesn’t really matter at all if he has mastered how to discern between what is right and what is wrong and chooses to follow right.

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Getting Started

2 Comments / All, Home Culture, TSG Principles /

“I was just wondering, when trying to set up this type of family government for the first time, does it take several family meetings before you can actually implement it? You talk about how each meeting shouldn’t be longer than 20 minutes, but if I’m understanding properly, to begin we need to talk about a family vision, come up with a mission statement, teach everyone the four basic skills (and practice them), and create a family standard…all the things seem to build on each other, so it sounds like it would take longer than twenty minutes to go through all of it properly bef

Getting Started Read More »

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