Index: Seek to Understand

“I like Dad better than Mom,” I said to my younger brother one sunny afternoon while sitting on the back of our rusty old Suburban. The moment I said that I knew that just a few weeks prior I was telling him that I liked Mom better than Dad. I knew I had changed my mind, but it seemed to… Read more »

I’ve previously talked about how teens go through normal detachment from their families. That’s to be expected. It’s the abnormal detachment that parents should watch for. Parents need to know what normal detachment looks like and the warning signs of abnormal detachment that can signal larger problems.… Read more »

Recently a woman who was asking for my advice said, “My 10-year-old son, Benjamin, will not do what I say. I know he hears me but he just ignores me when I talk to him. How can I get him to listen to me? I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but it’s like his heart is hard or something.… Read more »

Our family loves games! We play card games, board games, outdoor games, sports, and imagination games. Sometimes we have conversations about games we play, but most of the time we talk about things of more substance such as family, improving relationships, truths we’ve found, books we’ve read, experiences we’ve had, memories we share, family history, skills, problem solving, religion, politics,… Read more »

When the famed prime minister of England, William Pitt, was asked what made him a great prime minister, he didn’t say his hard work ethic, late night hours, or perseverance. He said, “Patience.” There are many attributes that are useful to parents as they’re raising their children during this often busy world full of attitude problems, disconnection, and every day… Read more »

A friend of mine asked me what she could do for her teenage exchange student. This student was in the middle of a multiple, day-long teenage tantrum. The mother had told her exchange student that she couldn’t attend a sleepover because the family doesn’t do sleepovers. The teenage exchange student, in turn, became very emotional and quite upset. There are… Read more »

It’s hard to see a good family friend or loved one stray from the things you both know and believe. Things inevitably end up changing. The relationships become different and sometimes strained. However, you still want to stay close to them. How is that to be achieved? And, how do you break it to the children without them thinking these… Read more »

The other day I was attending a very heated legislative committee meeting in Utah where changes to the way state school teachers teach about sexual health were proposed. I recognized someof the legislators were not acknowledging the real solution to the problems facing teenagers. Debate and public comments on the proposed changes went on for hours. Lawmakers didn’t like the… Read more »

No one likes errors, but we don’t need to handle them in ways that set everyone up for failure. We’ve all been there. We finally have time to go online to buy that perfect gift or to look up that news story we want to know about, and instead of successfully purchasing or reading the article, we get an error… Read more »

Roles. They define our rights, obligations, responsibilities, beliefs, and even who we are. How well do we each understand our respective roles? How do we teach our children about proper roles? How would the problems children and parents face change if they better understood roles? Aren’t parents whether aggressive, passive or assertive always defining roles anyway? How do roles effect... Read more »

Freedom in the family is the key to raising children who are freer and more independent. The problem is, most people don’t understand freedom. Many families institute complete license without consequences assuming that’s freedom and that it will lead to independent children. But in reality, it leads to emotional bondage and relationship dysfunction. Personal freedom and independence are nurtured best… Read more »

My views have changed. During my teen and young adult years, I thought that women needed to do everything men did, and women did, in order to be strong. But, now that I have seen every dimension of womanhood firsthand, I see that my views of women and myself lacked depth and understanding when I was young, and I was… Read more »