As part of learning cause and effect and growing into healthy adulthood, most children occasionally test boundaries by willfully choosing disobedience or even rebelling against parents. While taking risks and being a little bit rebellious here and there are usually healthy signs of normal development toward adulthood, obedience is required for wisdom and learning, too. […]
Obedience To Parents Changes Hearts Read More »
In this podcast, Nicholeen and Paije discuss how self-government applies to young children. Can babies and toddlers learn to govern themselves? Yes! Listen in for some great tips and skills for applying Teaching Self-Government with your little ones! https://tsg-podcasts.s3.amazonaws.com/2020/December/TSGPodcast42-BabiesNeedSelfGovernmentToo-Dec5-2020.mp3
Podcast 42 – Babies Need Self-Government Too! Read More »
“Is it too late for me and my child?” a single mother of a 17-year-old daughter asked me after telling me how her daughter won’t listen to her or talk to her, and is going against all the standards of her home. Just like so many other parents, this mother wanted to know if learning
How To Love a Disobedient or Wayward Child Read More »
What a difference our agency makes in who we choose to follow! When my daughter, Paije, was in a homeschool co-op class at age 14, after a discussion about what makes a good leader, the class was asked how they would know who to vote for when they were adults. My daughter shot up
Parents, Pass-times, & Politics Read More »
In this podcast, Nicholeen and Paije discuss the difference between emotional bondage and emotional freedom, what they both look like, what common behaviors are with each, how to recognize and analyze them, and why it’s so important to know the difference between the two.
Podcast 12 – Escaping Emotional Bondage Before It Starts Read More »
I’m in need of some help with my nine-year-old son. He is a major dawdler, and always has been. I am a very efficient person and try to get things done as quickly as possible. See the conflict already? It takes gobs of time for him to do simple things like get dressed, brush teeth, eat breakfast, read his books, and other things that are very simple. He’ll start the task, but then literally just start walking around the house in circles, just doing nothing in particular except dawdling.
The 9-Year-Old Dawdler Dilemma Read More »
A woman once asked me how to motivate her 18-year-old daughter to follow instructions and work more.Her daughter found following instruction insulting, and rewards or punishments like SODAS or TV time weren’t effective. The mom didn’t know any consequences or rewards that would motivate her daughter.
Motivation problems Read More »
I once received a note from a reader about her 14-year-old son who was quite the thinker. He always wanted to know “Why?” about everything, which is wonderful, but it was leading to problems respecting authority.
The Children Want to Know Why… Read More »
It’s all too common in many modern households to hear sighs, grumbling, complaining and whining from children when parents give reminders of daily work responsibilities, or when additional work assignments are given to children. But, before we think this is the way children have always felt about doing work or that everyone should feel work
How to Help Kids Enjoy Doing Work! Read More »
Several years ago, my family had a tradition of occasionally deciding we were on vacation for a week. That meant we took a break from our regular routine. We did it a few times a year to focus on getting all of the yard and garden work done. One day that we spent doing lots of yard work is particularly memorable, not because of what we accomplished in the garden, but because of what happened with my children.
Sometimes They Figure It Out Themselves Read More »
“Yesterday my 8 year old was grumpy when asked to do something, so he earned a negative consequence. I asked him to choose a job from the job jar.I explained that the job would help him change his heart.He then got very cheerful and said he was sorry for being grumpy… and wanted to be allowed to not do the job because he had changed (after all, he reasoned, the attitude was the reason for the extra job).
Always Stay Consistent with Consequences Earned Read More »
How do you find a good consequence for a thre-year-old who won’t participate in cleaning a shared bedroom? This mother explained to me of her struggle with this issue. This is the advice I gave her.
Cleaning a Bedroom Read More »
This mother’s son has a hard time following instructions if there isn’t a pre-teach before every instruction. Does she have to pre-teach beforeeveryinstruction?
Should I Pre-teach EVERY instruction? Read More »
Hovering gives a message of not trusting. Ifhe thinks that you don’t trust him,he will think of himself as a dishonest person based upon your behaviors. Hovering is also a form of a power struggle. So, if you shouldn’t hover over a child to make sure that he follows through with earned consequences, or instructions that have been given, what should you do to change the behavior?
Is Hovering Necessary? Read More »
Stories of success from others is always a good boost of confidence for ourselves. If you have success stories, feel free to share! We love you hear how Teaching Self-Government is going for you! Here’s some that we’ve gotten.
What Are Your Successes? Part One Read More »
I’m having trouble figuring out a good consequence beyond time out for my 3 yr old. He and his brother who just turned 6 share a room. I gave them an instruction to clean their room this morning, and he left the room to play with toys before it was done.He went into time out nicely, and loved being praised for being good in time out after his 3 minutes were up. He promised to finished cleaning. But then he did it again. We repeated the process and he had a second time out, but he left time out before the time was up. Is it bad to use the same consquence twice in a row? Do consequences always need to get bigger?
He Won’t Clean His Room? Read More »
Over the last year, my niece has gone through a change. The once happy, helpful girl changed into a whiny, depressed, girl that didn’t look at life the same. One day I got left home with the all the children whilethe adultswent shopping. While I was home with the children I started giving instructions for everyone to clean things up around the house. My niece started arguing with me, then she started whining, then she started complaining about everything in her life and told me that I just didn’t understand her. This is how I handled it…
Do You See What I See? Read More »
“My daughter takes 10 minutes to actually say ‘OK’ to an instruction. How do I speed things up?”
If it’s taking 10 minutes for the daughter to say “Okay” to an instruction, then she is having a power struggle and isn’t actually following the instruction. how could you do it better?
When andhow do yougiveconsequences? For example,if youinstruct yourson to go clean his room (assuming you’ve prepped him for accepting a consequence) and he whines and says, “I don’t want to do it right now.” What do you say?
When To Give Consequences And Do Corrections Read More »
A lot of children have selective hearing; have you noticed? Some of this selective hearing is planned and some isn’t. They really don’t hear us correctly sometimes. We can do something to make sure this doesn’t happen as often. Have you ever said don’t run down the hall, and the first thing your child does is run down the hall? My mom used to say to me, “Don’t talk back to me.” The first thing I did after this instruction was talk back to her. Strange. It is never a good idea to start an instruction with the word don’t, because whatever you say after don’t might be