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Sometimes They Figure It Out Themselves

Leave a Comment / All, Using TSG Skills /

Several years ago, my family had a tradition of occasionally deciding we were on vacation for a week. That meant we took a break from our regular routine. We did it a few times a year to focus on getting all of the yard and garden work done. One day that we spent doing lots of yard work is particularly memorable, not because of what we accomplished in the garden, but because of what happened with my children.

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Love of Instructions and Reproof

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Home Culture, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

Janae and Trisha both have a 12-year-old son who has a habit of being defiant. Each woman struggles with having the confidence to help her son change his behaviors during his outbursts. So why is Trisha’s son making so much more progress on staying calm and listening to her than Janae’s? Why is Trisha’s confidence

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Lights, Camera, Action… with Energy!

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Many years ago I co-directed a youth theater production of Shakespeare’s “The Tempest.” On our last day of performances, we had a matinee and an evening performance. The matinee performance started under lots of stress. We were missing our stage hand, our sound person and two actresses, and everyone was stressed. The only thing we had time to do was say a prayer. We usually took time getting into character and doing energy-building exercises before a performance, but we didn’t have time that day. The play had to go on.

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They’re Caught in the Moral Middle

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Youth (10-18) /

Today’s children are caught in the middle of multiple moral battle zones. You could even say that children’s moral battles are divorcing them from their parents. One of the most common characteristics of a child with divorced parents is that the child feels pulled between the parents’ different values and lifestyles. It’s common for husbands

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Grumpy Children Doing Dishes

He Won’t Do His Chores?

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A few years ago, I received a letter from a woman regarding her nine-year-old son, Colin. Her problem was one that many other parents face. Colin regularly spent the entire day procrastinating his chores. On top of it all, he had a bad attitude. He was sent to bed early, which meant he didn’t do his chores and thought he got away with it. The house was messy because Colin didn’t wash the dishes, and the mom was at her wit’s end — how can the family work around a stubborn child who is constantly seeing how far he can push to get out of his responsibilities?

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What Children Think of Negative Consequences

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Home Culture, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

I recently asked a group of 10-year-old children what kinds of negative consequences their families have. “At our house, we sweep the floor and clean,” said one boy. “Mom gets mad and goes into a bad mood,” said another boy. “Mom used to send us to time out, but we don’t do that anymore,” said

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Disagreeing Appropriately

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A few years ago, a reader wrote, “My kids love being able to disagree appropriately, but I don’t want them to do it every single time! They’re smart and have good reasons for wanting to do things a different way, and sometimes I’m happy to let them change our direction.But I don’t like taking the time to listen to their opinion every time I ask them to do something they don’t want to do.Suggestions?”

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Girl making her bed

Morning Routine Motivation

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2 – What kind of opportunities do you give for kids to follow through before getting consequences?

Example: It’s each of the children’s responsibility to make their bed, tidy their bedroom and get dressed before breakfast at 7:30.I try to say encouraging things to get the kids to hurry along by letting them know how much time has passed and how much is left before breakfast — even advertising what’s coming for breakfast to motivate them.But when they don’t do it, or don’t do it on time, I suddenly wonder what I should do.Do they miss breakfast?

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family vacation

Traveling Trends Meet Parenting Problems

Leave a Comment / All, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

Family travel looks different these days than it used to. Today’s parents were raised in a slower time. Most families planned one or two trips a year, which were usually taken during school holidays, and in our case, in the family travel trailer. While there are still families that really don’t like to leave home

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Stressed woman

Look Up!

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One morning I woke up with this list of things to do that day on my mind.Ok, I didn’t plan on one of my children throwing up, but the rest was planned.Before I even got my swimsuit on to leave for the pool, I felt this tight feeling in my chest and my head started to ache.I tried taking some deep breaths to calm myself down, but itdidn’t seem to work. I kept going and thought my workout might relax me.

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What Will You Sacrifice?

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, TSG Principles, Youth (10-18) /

Sacrifice is vital for happiness. Most people think the word “sacrifice” is bad and sounds like a hardship, not a joyful journey. Happiness sounds much better! But without giving up some of our indulgences, excuses and time wasters, it’s difficult to accomplish the things that bring the most happiness, like fulfilling our roles as parents

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Laughing bedtime story

Properly Prioritizing Our Time… Because It’s All We Have!

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One night, many years ago, I was faced with a decision. Should I write my daily blog, or should I sit in my daughter’s room telling exciting stories to my children? We had friends in town staying with us, and it was a tradition in our home that when friends come to stay, I gather them together and tell them one of my famous choose-your-own-ending type stories. The children were all very excited for storytime. I couldn’t let them down by choosing to write my blog post instead of spending time with the children. Then the thought hit me, “Wait a minute! I’m trying to decide between writing a blog vs. spending time with the children?? How could I even consider letting them down! Why would I ever choose to lose this time with my children just because I didn’t take the time earlier in the day to write my blog?”

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Respecting Property

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Some 10 years ago, my four-year-old son was standing on the back porchone afternoon,talkingto his sister.They weretrying to make each other laugh by doing funny things.This is a common game with the two of them.All of the sudden I heard a loud BANG on thewindow located right nextto the porch.I ran to the door and saw my four year old standing there holding a garden shovel, smiling and laughing with his sister.

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Mother and daughter arguing

Staying Focused on Correct Parenting Principles

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I remember one day talking with a dear friendabout parenting.She told me that for about a monthshe was doing so good with the Teaching Self-Government principles in her home.She said she really saw results whenever she remembered the principles and used them.Then she said that her family went on a trip for a week.On the way home from the trip, she stopped using the Teaching Self-Government principles.She said that for some reason she just went back to her old, inefficient way of running things at home.

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How Many Times Do We Have to Talk About the Phone?

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

No matter the amount of technology that’s developed to filter devices in order to keep children from viewing objectionable material, the mental, physical and spiritual risks of digital devices facing children have never been greater. Note: In this article I’m using the word “phone” liberally to mean all digital devices that are in regular use

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Moon shining in the clouds and stars

Families Of Light

1 Comment / All, Home Culture, Relationships, TSG Principles /

“Mommy, what makes the moon shine?”askedmy six-year-old daughter, Londyn. “The moon reflects the light of the sun,” I responded. After a brief discussion about the moon and the sun, I realized that her question was really profound. Innocence almost always finds truth.I’m grateful for that.The moon reflects the light from the sun. It never turns its back on the sun either.It always faces it.The moon loses light when things get in the way, like the earth.The moon has the power to control the tides on the earth; the very thing that gets in the way.

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