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Peck Family Standard

2 Comments / All, Home Culture, Relationships, TSG Principles /

This last weekend at the seminar in Clearfield, UT I was asked for a copy of my family standard.  In case it is useful to anyone else, it is below.  Warning, this is three pages long on word.  You should be able to copy and paste it back to word if you want to use it too or take ideas from it.  🙂  It does contain some things that are specific to our family’s religion.  Regard those things how you will.  Each family’s family standard should include things from their religious foundations. 

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Voice Raising and Critical Attitude

Leave a Comment / All, Home Culture, Using TSG Skills /

I walked out of the room and was faced with disrespectful behavior…voice raising and critical attitude for no apparent reason….It made me glad I can look forward to the publishing of your book!  I am starting to chalk this type of behavior up to “Not following instructions” based on the instruction to “Treat others with respect and kindness.”

You could either call it “Not Following Instructions,” or you could call it “Not Disagreeing Appropriately.”  Either way would work for a corrective teaching.  However, I try to teach to “Not Disagreeing Appropriately” whenev

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“I didn’t hear you.”

Leave a Comment / All, Using TSG Skills /
What about when they say, “I didn’t hear you” as their reason/excuse for not following instructions…but you think they must have? 
This is a classic!  It is either one of two things.  Either your child really didn’t hear you, or she just lied to try to make the reason she didn’t follow instructions look like your fault instead of hers. 
         If you are constantly hearing this excuse for instructions not being followed, then you should first ask yourself, “Did I make eye contact with my child when I gave the instruction?’  If you hav

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Comment on chores…

1 Comment / All, Home Culture, Using TSG Skills /

Thank you–this was very helpful! One more question. . .On the specifics, like letting the children know chores are a “standing instruction”, the children having to make up the time if you do the chore for them, the time period allowed for chores to be done, or the 30 minutes for a dishonest chore, how did you determine these and then teach/tell your children about what would happen?

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Are Chores Instructions too?

3 Comments / All, Home Culture, Using TSG Skills /

I know you’ve written posts about chores before, but I can’t seem to find them on your website. So I’ll ask my questions, and maybe you can direct me to the proper posts if you’ve already answered them! Are the everyday chores that kids have a “standing instruction?” In other words, if they don’t do their chores or have to be reminded to do them, are they not following instructions, and would they start earning consequences?

Yes. Any responsibility your child has, such as a chore or school work, is an instruction. The term “standing instruction” is perfect fo

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Question about “perfect families”

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There was a comment left on the “perfect families” post which said,

Have you found ways to keep from joining in the competition when you speak about your kids, and shut down competitive questions/remarks from others?

There is definitely a way to keep from joining in these kinds of competitions.  But, the way is not easy because it goes against human nature to seek evidence of personal success by comparing.  I have realized the act of comparing or one-upping usually happens when I stop listening to and caring about the parent talking to me and caring about my own fami

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The simple things

Leave a Comment / All, Relationships /

Yesterday, my daughter was playing with her toy horses and stables.  She was having a great time.  I was reading on the couch.  Then I got this thought, “Ask her if you can play with her.” 

I must confess, it would have been a lot easier for me to keep doing my study thing.  I need all the time I can get.  But, right then I realized the most important thing to do was make a memory with my daughter. 

I asked her if I could play.  She smiled HUGE and said, “sure Mom!” 

We played for about 10 minutes when all the children crowded in and watched our playing.  Then I heard my son say, “I g

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Bubbles are no big deal.

Leave a Comment / All, Relationships, Youth (10-18) /

One day I was walking passed my daughters bedroom when, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed my daughter’s 3 year old friend emptying the last of a HUGE 100oz refill bottle of bubbles onto the carpet.  She had climbed the closet shelves to the top and got down the bottle, so that she could dump it.  What did I do?  Did I lose my cool?  No way.  This wasn’t my child.  I walked into the room and said

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Christmas Wishes

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2008 has been a very noisy year!  Our family spends a lot of time playing, singing, and performing music.  Music is quickly becoming our family’s main pass time.  Spencer and Quinton even went all the way to Nashville this year to compete in the International Barbershop Competition and to Colorado Springs to compete in a district competition.  They sing with the Beehive Statesmen, and are two of four men in a quartet called, All-a-Chord.  Londyn, Paije and Quinton, all

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Gratitude Tip

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In the post below I discussed teaching our children gratitude.  I forgot to mention one thing we do which teaches gratefulness the most; thank you notes. 

Thank you notes are almost a thing of the past.  This is sad and possibly selfish.  Nothing replaces the warmth and love the feeling of a hand written note or letter gives to a reader.  I have lovingly kept cards and notes from all of the dear people currently in my life and those who are no longer living.  Seeing the writing and words from my grandmother warms my soul.  I am so glad that she believed in writing cards and notes to me, so

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Christmas Character Building

1 Comment / All, Relationships, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

Samuel Smiles said, “Worst of all are the grumblers and growlers at fortune–who find that whatever is, is wrong,” or not enough.

Quiet a few years ago, we had a Christmas day that changed all the Christmas days to come.  We had a nice large Christmas with lots of presents for the children.  The children opened their presents, and then the grandparents came over with gifts.  After opening a present from a grandparent, one of my children said, “Is that all?” 

I about died!  Not only was this a huge social no-no, but my child was behaving very selfishly and that was unacceptable.  This kin

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Christmas Captivity

2 Comments / All, Relationships /

Today I was reading my scriptures and came across the word captive.  I pondered on this word for some time. 

Captivecomes from the Latin word “Captivus”, which means to seize or to take. 

Not surprisingly, captivatealso comes from the Latin word “Captivus”, with the same meaning. 

My thoughts turned to Christmas and family.  There are so many things at Christmas time that captivate our thoughts, and families.  We have concerts, parties, festivals, gift and holiday preparation.  All of these things, just like television and popular media choices can of

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Christmas Sweater

Leave a Comment / All, Relationships, Youth (10-18) /

I recently read a book called the Christmas Sweater.  In this book, the main character (a teenager) makes a lot of mistakes.  Glenn Beck, the author, tells what the teenager was thinking and how he really wanted to change, but felt it would show weakness to admit he was wrong, or that he needed help etc.  This was a great photo into the mind of a teenager.  This was a great, easy read. 

 This book shows how important it is to “seek first to understand, then to be understood.”  In the story, the adults didn’t really know how to handle the teenager’s attitude, but a mysterious, guardian angle

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Learning from the Dutch

Leave a Comment / All, Using TSG Skills /

 Before the United States of America even existed, there were these colonies of many different people from different lands.  One of these colonies was called New Amsterdam.  The Dutch people settled this colony.  They were a happy people who enjoyed life.  The king of the Netherlands left the New Amsterdam colony to govern itself, and for a while they did OK.  They made good roads and homes and a popular sea port.  The port of New Amsterdam was one of the biggest trade centers in America. 

After a while of governing themselves, and having no real rules, the citizens of New Amsterdam became

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Time-out for youngsters tip

Leave a Comment / All, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

One more tip for making time-out effective.

If your son doesn’t say OK to anything, take him to time-out.  If you say NO, and he whines, he goes to time-out.  If you tell him to do something, and he doesn’t say, OK, he goes to time-out.  If he hurts another person, he goes to time-out.  He needs to get really used to going to time-out.  The more he goes, the more he will recognize that time-out is the place to calm down and then talk, and that the sooner he does that the sooner life is good again. 

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Out of Control on Time-out

2 Comments / All, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

“My almost 3 yo fights and kicks and cries when I take him to time-out (I have to carry him there), and then cries very loudly and even will scream at me when I’m telling him that he needs to stay there until he can become happy.  My husband thinks all of this is very disrespectful and feels that we need to spank him or do something different so that my son doesn’t do this.  He thinks I am teaching my son that it’s okay to fight me and scream at me.  What do you think?”

I understand your husband’s frustration, and yours.  Your child is definitely “out of instruction

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Pre-teaching small children how to go to bed when asked

1 Comment / All, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

“I met you at your recent Stansbury Seminar.  It was so great!  I could have listened for days.  I can’t get my daughter to stop sleeping in my bed.  She is three years old, and I don’t think she should still be sleeping in my bed.  No matter what I do, she has a fit if I try to enforce her sleeping in her own bed. “

Children wanting to share their parent’s bed is a very normal childhood desire.  When I was young, I remember thinking that my parent’s bed was softer, warmer, and just more cozy than my bed was. It is good that our children want to be close to us, but

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