Youth (10-18)

Fighting with non-family members

“I have been reading your website and listening to your CD’s and practicing what I’ve learned from you.  It has helped tremendously with the level of peace in our home.  A situation occurred last night with my 12 y/o which has me a bit stymied.  He was at a church camp-out and playing flag football with some other boys.  One boy in particular has given him trouble on and off through the two years we have lived here.  This boy will slap my son and then say it was a joke, yell at hi

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Bad Habits

“Some of my kids have developed bad habits such as finger-sucking, nose picking (and eating it), fingernail chewing, and touching their genitals.  Do you have any experience or advice on helping children successfully break these kinds of habits?  Some of my children have started doing such things from the time they are babies (finger-sucking), or have developed the habits a little later at around age 3 or so.  And one daughter in particular seems particularly prone to this type of thing (she’s eight now).”

I did have some youth who had behaviors which are not social

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Mom’s hang-up

“Thanks so much for all the wisdom and inspiration you share.  I have a son (age 11) who zapps so much emotional energy from me.  Over the last several months, I’ve really been trying to see things as they are and trying to determine how to handle things.  He is a great kid.  He’s the first one to help a younger sibling who is hurt or to give up his ice cream cone is one of his younger siblings dropped theirs.  He is also the one who complains the most, rolls his eyes back into his head and gets “that look” when things do not go his way.  I know that he is often “out of instructi

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Using the Rule of Three

“Another question I had was, does the rule of 3 start over for each incident? Are the 3 consequences for staying out of instructional control as relating to the first incident? I just want to make sure I understand correctly. So if a child hits his brother, and gets out of instructional control and has the consequences for that earlier in the day, and then later disobeys about something different, the rule of 3 would start over for the later incident, correct? Consequences aren’t cumulative for different offenses, so that because the child got to SODAS with hitting his brothe

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Stop Being so efficient!!!

Two days ago my son set up all of his little army figures in army formation and came to me and said, “Mom, will you play army with me?” 

The first thought I had was, ‘I can’t right now, because I am trying to get this canning done.’

The second thought I had was, ‘maybe I can play for just a few minutes to say that I did and then get back to the canning.’

Luckily, I didn’t act upon any of those thoughts.

I looked at the army guys and looked at my son’s face.  I realized that army is not a fast game, and it isn’t meant to be.  It’s meant to be a game where you figure strategy, and di

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Girl in doorway

The Times We Live In Part 2

“My husband works at a jail and just a few weeks ago a man we both know from school and church was brought in on sexual charges. His niece was supposedly the victim. Both of us were very surprised, as we wouldn’t have expected him of doing such a thing. Whether he is guilty or not, we will probably never know.However, after discussing it, we both thought that not only is it important to try to protect our children from this type of thing, we also need to take steps to protect OURSELVES and our own reputations.”

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