About five years ago I met a couple who seemed to have happiness in marriage completely figured out. They shared some of their secrets with me. One of them has made a huge impact on our home. It is called Odd and Even days.
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on June 21, 2008
Relationships require selfless service to survive. Although there are multiple reasons people site for their relationship dysfunctions, from infidelity to arguments, relationship problems usually all have two things in common: dishonesty and selfishness. According to The Institute For Family Studies, the leading causes of divorce are: infidelity, incompatibility, drinking or drug use, growing apart, a lack of commitment, and too much arguing. In my own studies of families who are working to overcome dysfunctional family relationships and fractured family bonds through Teaching Self-Government parenting services, I’ve noticed that the main causes of broken or damaged family bonds can be grouped into a handful of reasons. These reasons include: lack of communication, laziness, not valuing family, arguing and fights, lies and manipulations, excuses for bad behavior, disrespect for parental authority and position of the child, losing common values, and only being concerned with one’s own feelings and wants. Every reason listed …
Posted by Monica Pond on December 28, 2020
It’s often said that “a mother’s work is never done.” There are multiple ways to see this sentiment. Either Mother never does her work, or Mother always has a task that needs doing, or perhaps that Mother is a mother no matter the age of her children. The first interpretation gives a negative and lazy view of Mother. The second seems to make Mother into a martyr to household chores. But, the third interpretation of this common saying offers wisdom and a vision of Mother’s key role in the lives of her family members forever. The focus of this article is this third interpretation. No matter how old her children and grandchildren grow, a mother is always invested in their welfare and concerned about their happiness and moral success. A few years ago, I came across a letter written by a mother during World War Two. It was a response …
Posted by Monica Pond on May 9, 2018
“You never can tell with bees,” said A.A. Milne’s cherished character Winne-the-Pooh. This was Pooh Bear’s naive way of saying he didn’t understand why bees did the things they did. He made his best guesses, but he always seemed to guess wrong and find himself in a prickled gorse bush — instead of feasting on fresh honey. As a beekeeper, I understand what part of getting honey Pooh never bothered to do: observe the actions of the bees and himself around the bees. When someone approaches the hive, a few guard bees automatically tip forward on their front legs, extending their stingers in the air. If the person coming toward the hive doesn’t retreat, then the bees start to fly at the person and push their stingers into the intruder. When bees sting, they die. Sir Francis Bacon said, “Men must not turn [into] bees.” When a person puts his …
Posted by Monica Pond on March 1, 2018
“Go long Porter!” said Dad to his 15-year-old son as they played Frisbee in the circle in front of our home. Dad and Porter throw Frisbees regularly in the evening. Am I mad that my husband is playing games with his son instead of helping me with the dinner preparation? No way! That play time is more vital that even he realizes. In fact, it’s because of that play time that Porter wants to work with his dad and be like his dad one day. It’s also one of the big factors in Porter’s confidence and high standards.Sometimes dads are given criticism for being a little bit too light-hearted, playful, or getting the children all wound up at the wrong times — like when it’s time for bed.When I was a little girl my dad would say, “Time for bed. How are we getting there tonight?” At this point, we …
Posted by Monica Pond on June 13, 2019
When the famed prime minister of England, William Pitt, was asked what made him a great prime minister, he didn’t say his hard work ethic, late night hours, or perseverance. He said, “Patience.” There are many attributes that are useful to parents as they’re raising their children during this often busy world full of attitude problems, disconnection, and every day mishaps. But nothing is so vital as patience. There is one simple skill that, if kept in mind, makes patience for parents a bit easier. Recently, while speaking to a group in Washington, a worn out mother asked me a question following some discussion on how to stay clam while parenting through difficult parenting situations. She said something like, “What do you do when too much has happened in a day to be able to stay calm? What do you do when you’ve fallen down some stairs that day, another …
Posted by Monica Pond on October 29, 2018
This call covers: How to still be a parent, even with shared custody of a child. Handling multiple meltdowns at once. Backup Calm Down spots for when multiple children need it. Daughter is disrespectful to mother and monopolizes father, leaving no time for mother and father to have Couple Bonding time. Suggestions? Special, new presentation: Power Of Words
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on September 26, 2015
This call covers: Having private rooms and moving the toys around. Using the chore system in Primary. Spouse on board with system at fist, but not anymore. Young boy willALWAYSgoes out of control when getting an instruction. How to give your husband more responsibility.
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on September 28, 2016
This Call Covers:In detail explanation of he rule of threeChildren who say really alarming thingsHelping children to adjust to a divorceYoung children and stress
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on September 20, 2019
Whole Call: https://s3.amazonaws.com/1-SupportCalls/2020/09September/TSG_SC_9-16-20_WholeEdited.mp3 Question: Hi Nicholeen, I homeschool 5 children and have a 2 year old toddler. I am introvert with a load of high energy spirited children and one ADHD child. All the talking that’s involved in homeschooling and then all the talking involved in the TSG is hard on me. I hate having to stop a lesson with one child to correct another because it disrupts the flow of the lessons and so I want the bad behavior to stop immediately without having to do a long correction with a lot of talking. If I leave the one who I am teaching to correct another, the child I was teaching gets distracted and goes off to play or starts talking to another sibling and/or getting silly. Then it takes time to get them to transition back to their lessons. Having someone leave to do an extra chore throws …
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on September 26, 2020
This Call Covers: Dealing with custody-related parenting problems Rule of three and young children Preventing parental manipulation of children Does TSG make kids worse?
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on August 27, 2018
This Call Covers:Unifying a family in a new marriageHelping young children who lieTeaching self-government to teenagers
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on August 23, 2019