Some might think that optimistic people are fake or somehow disconnected from reality, but I know for a fact that positivity is one of our choices no matter what circumstances are before us. Russell Nelsontaught that our “joy has little to do with the circumstances of our lives, but everything to do with the focus […]
A Vow to be Positive Read More »
Family traditions instill personal and family identity and bind families together throughout their many phases of growth and change. After children and grandchildren are grown and gone off to live their adult lives, the traditions remain as reminders of the sweetness of home and family, what is most important in life, and who they really
Family Traditions that Bind or Break or Unity for Christmas Read More »
“Do you see those sweet sisters over there? They inspire me. They couldn’t be more different, but they also couldn’t be more full of love toward each other than they are,” a friend of mine pointed out to me one day about two ladies who were her good friends. She went on to explain, “One
1 Easy Way to Wrap Your Holiday Gatherings In Love Read More »
One day my father told me something so profound that it literally changed my social life and my personal empowerment forever. After I finished telling him about how another child at school had been mean to me, he said, “Nicholeen, sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you.” I’m guessing
“Choose Not to Be Harmed” Read More »
“But what if they just keep talking back and are driving me crazy,” a mother asked me while I was instructing a group of parents on how to teach their children to accept “no” answers. The mother of three told the group she knew she needed help becausesometimes she feels so crazy, or out of
Who Drives You Crazy? Read More »
After responding to the woman who teaches Primary at church with my initial, general tips on how to use self-government principles in the classroom she wrote me back the following:
Can I Use TSG with Someone Else’s Child? – Part 2 Read More »
Back in 2008 I received a letter from a woman that teaches a class every Sunday at church. She was having difficulty managing the behavior of the children in her class (or rather, the children were having difficulty managing their own behavior!). She wrote…
Can I Use TSG with Someone Else’s Child? – Part 1 Read More »
When one of our foster daughters lived with us years ago, she did something that the others hadn’t done. She spent the first few weeks very intently watching me. She watched the way I kept house, the way I parented my children, the time I spent reading scriptures and good books, etc.
Who Wants Realistic? Read More »
Children aren’t perfect, and neither are parents. However, parenting isn’t about being perfect. And, there’s no such thing as a perfect child. Of course, perfection isn’t the goal of my parenting anyway. My goal has always been to create joyful adults. Joyful adults are those that know what their mission in life is and they’re
Parenting with Grace Read More »
If I planted a corn kernel in February, would I be disappointed when it didn’t turn into a large plant that same afternoon? Certainly not! Instead, I would get excited about the plant’s development as I waited for it to grow.
Parenting Programs: Is There a Quick Fix? Read More »
Freedom in the family is the key to raising children who are freer and more independent. The problem is, most people don’t understand freedom. Many families institute complete license without consequences assuming that’s freedom and that it will lead to independent children. But in reality, it leads to emotional bondage and relationship dysfunction. Personal freedom
Raising Independent Children Read More »
I once received a note from a mother who had an eight-year-old son with obsessive tendencies. He was scared the upstairs of the house would break and drop everyone into the basement, so he constantly checked that the floor was strong enough. And this wasn’t the first time he had fixated on something. The mom was nervous because she had a family history of mental illness. Her husband wasn’t as worried because he believed most mental problems are created by a family’s discipline and relationships. He said that developing perfectionist children who govern themselves caused their son to obsess over things. She asked my advice on how to help her son through his obsessive thoughts and actions.
“Go long Porter!” said Dad to his 15-year-old son as they played Frisbee in the circle in front of our home. Dad and Porter throw Frisbees regularly in the evening. Am I mad that my husband is playing games with his son instead of helping me with the dinner preparation? No way! That play time
The Data About Dads and Child Self-Confidence Read More »
When I started learning self-government principles years ago, I was foster parenting some difficult children, most of whom were on medication and had severe anger issues and terrible eating habits.As I started teaching them self-government skills, many of the children no longer needed their medication. Sometimes the anger issues stopped immediately, but in other children the issues re-surfaced later. With these youth I looked at another aspect of self-government: their diet.
The Potential Nutrition Cure for “Difficult Children” Read More »
Recently, while texting with my oldest son, he asked, “Hey, what do you want for Mother’s Day?” I shouldn’t really admit that I don’t like those kinds of questions, but the truth is I don’t. Maybe it’s because my love language isn’t gifts, or maybe it’s because I never know what to say. The most
What Your Mother Really Wants Read More »
Parents are meant to shepherd their children toward truth and safety, as well as in learning skills, in order to prepare them for the purposes of their lives. But not all shepherds are the same. Two sisters were given some sheep to care for, and a promise that the sheep would be of great value
Shepherding the Children Read More »
A woman once asked me how to motivate her 18-year-old daughter to follow instructions and work more.Her daughter found following instruction insulting, and rewards or punishments like SODAS or TV time weren’t effective. The mom didn’t know any consequences or rewards that would motivate her daughter.
Motivation problems Read More »
The multiculturalism of modern society, or desire to promote all ideas or ways of living as good, no matter their opposition to moral, religious, social, and familial cultural norms, is creating negativity and confusion when it comes to attitudes about marriage and family. People have spent their young years reading books and watching movies that
Condolences Are Not Appropriate Read More »
When my son was 12, he sang barbershop with his dad and grandpa.A few nights a week they had long rehearsals.One night, my son didn’t get to bed until midnight after a rehearsal.He slept in the next morning and realized he missed helping the Boy Scouts deliver flags for Pioneer Day.He said, “I guess I was just too tired to get up.”
Communication: More Than Talking Read More »
A week ago, I was standing in the kitchen canning peaches, and my whole family atmosphere fell apart all around me in a matter of five minutes.
My son was asked by his father to help with something in the back yard. My son didn’t want to do it, so he decided to have an attitude problem about it. My husband was stressed, and chose to get upset, instead of teach to the situation correctly. (We all have our moments of weakness from time to time.)
My daughter was supposed to be cleaning her room, and was playing her piano instead. She had lost focus. (She is ten, this happens sometime
A Whole Selfish Family Read More »