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Fights? continued

Leave a Comment / All, Using TSG Skills /

“…so in the course of asking from youngest to oldest their account of what happened, do their accounts factor in the consequences they receive?  Because all of them are disrupting the family feeling and not communicating well with each other, so because of that they earn a consequence.  But what if one was more a victim and one was more of a perpetrator (based on what you can deduct from their stories)?  I guess I am wondering if there is a purpose to hearing their stories other than letting them feel heard and calm down, or if the content of their stories re

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Fights?

Leave a Comment / All, Using TSG Skills /

“When your kids are fighting, do you try to instruct them in the middle of that?  I often try to intervene but maybe too often – they don’t seem to be learning to problem solve with each-other rather than tattling and trying to get Mom to settle things in their favor.  I honestly don’t know what would happen if I let my kids continue to fight until it blows over or comes to blows, I usually step in and separate them before I can see how they would solve the problem.  I know they are generally out of instructional control when they are fighting, so anything I tell them at that poi

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Respectful play

Leave a Comment / All, Relationships, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills /

“I have an 8 year old boy and a 6 year old boy and an 18 month old girl. One of the most frustrating things for me is when I’m trying to talk to my boys and give instructions and they ignore me by rough housing with each other or by joking and laughing at each other or at me. What do you do when you ask them to do something in a kind, yet serious way, and they say “no” or laugh and joke around? I feel like they are showing no respect for me in this situation and I get very frustrated and even angry.

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Getting Started

2 Comments / All, Home Culture, TSG Principles /

“I was just wondering, when trying to set up this type of family government for the first time, does it take several family meetings before you can actually implement it? You talk about how each meeting shouldn’t be longer than 20 minutes, but if I’m understanding properly, to begin we need to talk about a family vision, come up with a mission statement, teach everyone the four basic skills (and practice them), and create a family standard…all the things seem to build on each other, so it sounds like it would take longer than twenty minutes to go through all of it properly bef

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A comment

Leave a Comment / All, Using TSG Skills /

In case some of you don’t look at the comments, I wanted to share this one. 

“I definitely relate to this mother’s feelings. It is really overwhelming to implement this new system and I make mistakes all the time. I’m also finding that I’m less diligent as time goes on and so it helps me to read all the advice here so I can “keep swimming” and not give up. I keep thinking of your words on the CD that it takes work to set this up and we have to be willing to do the hard work. I know it is worth it. It has already made a big difference, I just need to keep trying and improving.

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All at once?

2 Comments / All, Home Culture, Using TSG Skills /

“I first just want to thank you for the wonderful things you do.  I attended the LDSEHE conference in Virginia in May and LOVED the classes I went to from you so much that I bought your CDs.  Since then, I’ve listened to them over and over and over trying to en-grain it into my head and heart.  My question to you is this:  How do you start from scratch with a houseful of kids?  I have 9 kiddos ages 12 to 9 mo.  They are really good kids, but I’ve learned that I have done then a huge injustice by the way I’ve been parenting them.  I am ready to change and increase the love and spi

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Tips

Leave a Comment / All, Relationships /

Helpful tips.

 #1.  Really look into the eyes of your child when she is talking.  And watch the movements and gestures of her body and face while she plays and communicates to you.  This simple thing brings me so much more joy.  My soul can really feel my child’s soul and appreciate it if I take the time to  look into their eyes.  It is so easy to get task oriented and forget the first step in communication ourselves.  Look at the person. 

Your child will also be much more happy when he has a visible sign that you are paying attention to what he is really communicating. 

 #2.  Boredom

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AngryBoy

Strong Willed 3 Year Old

2 Comments / All, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

“I’m trying to figure out how to make this work for my 3 year old. He is very high spirited, very defiant and REALLY can’t take no for an answer. I struggle minute to minute with obedience and with whining and I worry that if I did things the same way I do them with my older children, only using time-outs, he would be in time-out constantly. Actually I don’t know if he would ever make it into time out if I waited for him to be calm first.

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teenage boy on bed

Using The Bedroom As A Consequence

2 Comments / All, Home Culture, Using TSG Skills /

How does 24 hours loss of privilegeswork in your house? Let’s say a13 year old boydoesn’t want to get on board. Buthe shouldn’t be allowed to just hole up in his room away from the rest of the family!However, I have foundthat sending him to sit on his bed is the most effective thingthat can be done.

Consequences are so individual. I don’t expe

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little boy crying

4 Year-Old Stress

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Relationships, Toddlers (0-4) /

We got home late. My four year old fell asleep on the way home. After waking up, he came in to go potty, get dressed and go to bed. From the bathroom I heard crying. He was in there for a long time. He was in the bathroom trying to clean up a mess that he had made in his pants.It was very stressful and disturbing to him to find a dirty pants problem. This stress along with his extreme tiredness made him very sad and he just couldn’t help crying.

4 Year-Old Stress Read More »

MotherDaughterArguingAboutDishes

Is Hovering Necessary?

Leave a Comment / All, Using TSG Skills /

Hovering gives a message of not trusting. Ifhe thinks that you don’t trust him,he will think of himself as a dishonest person based upon your behaviors. Hovering is also a form of a power struggle. So, if you shouldn’t hover over a child to make sure that he follows through with earned consequences, or instructions that have been given, what should you do to change the behavior?

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boy waiting

He Won’t Clean His Room?

Leave a Comment / All, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

I’m having trouble figuring out a good consequence beyond time out for my 3 yr old. He and his brother who just turned 6 share a room. I gave them an instruction to clean their room this morning, and he left the room to play with toys before it was done.He went into time out nicely, and loved being praised for being good in time out after his 3 minutes were up. He promised to finished cleaning. But then he did it again. We repeated the process and he had a second time out, but he left time out before the time was up. Is it bad to use the same consquence twice in a row? Do consequences always need to get bigger?

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Happy and sad face girl

Do You See What I See?

3 Comments / All, Using TSG Skills /

Over the last year, my niece has gone through a change. The once happy, helpful girl changed into a whiny, depressed, girl that didn’t look at life the same. One day I got left home with the all the children whilethe adultswent shopping. While I was home with the children I started giving instructions for everyone to clean things up around the house. My niece started arguing with me, then she started whining, then she started complaining about everything in her life and told me that I just didn’t understand her. This is how I handled it…

Do You See What I See? Read More »

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