Historically, as young people approached the age of 18, they would start to spread their wings and transition into adulthood by stepping outside of their comfort zones. Sadly, times have changed. Today, many teens are feeling increasingly more inadequate to attempt adult tasks. In fact, they often don’t even feel comfortable talking to adults. In […]
Teen-Culture and the Land of Make Believe Read More »
Freedom in the family is the key to raising children who are freer and more independent. The problem is, most people don’t understand freedom. Many families institute complete license without consequences assuming that’s freedom and that it will lead to independent children. But in reality, it leads to emotional bondage and relationship dysfunction. Personal freedom
Raising Independent Children Read More »
I once received a note from a mother who had an eight-year-old son with obsessive tendencies. He was scared the upstairs of the house would break and drop everyone into the basement, so he constantly checked that the floor was strong enough. And this wasn’t the first time he had fixated on something. The mom was nervous because she had a family history of mental illness. Her husband wasn’t as worried because he believed most mental problems are created by a family’s discipline and relationships. He said that developing perfectionist children who govern themselves caused their son to obsess over things. She asked my advice on how to help her son through his obsessive thoughts and actions.
“Go long Porter!” said Dad to his 15-year-old son as they played Frisbee in the circle in front of our home. Dad and Porter throw Frisbees regularly in the evening. Am I mad that my husband is playing games with his son instead of helping me with the dinner preparation? No way! That play time
The Data About Dads and Child Self-Confidence Read More »
When I first decided to leave my high-paying career to stay home with my toddler son and daughter, I had to remind myself that I was picking the greater good. I was in the funeral industry and was really needed at an important time in people’s lives: the death of a loved one. I felt
From “Just a Mom” to Being Showcased on a BBC Program Read More »
When I started learning self-government principles years ago, I was foster parenting some difficult children, most of whom were on medication and had severe anger issues and terrible eating habits.As I started teaching them self-government skills, many of the children no longer needed their medication. Sometimes the anger issues stopped immediately, but in other children the issues re-surfaced later. With these youth I looked at another aspect of self-government: their diet.
The Potential Nutrition Cure for “Difficult Children” Read More »
Recently, while texting with my oldest son, he asked, “Hey, what do you want for Mother’s Day?” I shouldn’t really admit that I don’t like those kinds of questions, but the truth is I don’t. Maybe it’s because my love language isn’t gifts, or maybe it’s because I never know what to say. The most
What Your Mother Really Wants Read More »
In an ideal world, children would dutifully do their chores not only as effectively as Mom or Dad would do them, but also without delay. Unfortunately, we don’t live in an ideal world. Human brains, especially child brains, are wired to find more efficient ways to do tasks in order to save time or effort.
Two sisters, Becky and Sara, didn’t always get along.On the day Sara got baptized, Becky approached her older sister and said, “I think it’s stupid you got baptized.”
Parents are meant to shepherd their children toward truth and safety, as well as in learning skills, in order to prepare them for the purposes of their lives. But not all shepherds are the same. Two sisters were given some sheep to care for, and a promise that the sheep would be of great value
Shepherding the Children Read More »
A woman once asked me how to motivate her 18-year-old daughter to follow instructions and work more.Her daughter found following instruction insulting, and rewards or punishments like SODAS or TV time weren’t effective. The mom didn’t know any consequences or rewards that would motivate her daughter.
Motivation problems Read More »
The multiculturalism of modern society, or desire to promote all ideas or ways of living as good, no matter their opposition to moral, religious, social, and familial cultural norms, is creating negativity and confusion when it comes to attitudes about marriage and family. People have spent their young years reading books and watching movies that
Condolences Are Not Appropriate Read More »
I once received a letter from a mom asking how she could help her daughter navigate feelings of anxiety. The daughter would take her feelings out on whatever family member was closest. The mom had pre-taught her daughter that those actions were inappropriate and worked with her to find better alternatives, but it wasn’t working.
Controlling Anger Anxiety Read More »
When my son was 12, he sang barbershop with his dad and grandpa.A few nights a week they had long rehearsals.One night, my son didn’t get to bed until midnight after a rehearsal.He slept in the next morning and realized he missed helping the Boy Scouts deliver flags for Pioneer Day.He said, “I guess I was just too tired to get up.”
Communication: More Than Talking Read More »
A week ago, I was standing in the kitchen canning peaches, and my whole family atmosphere fell apart all around me in a matter of five minutes.
My son was asked by his father to help with something in the back yard. My son didn’t want to do it, so he decided to have an attitude problem about it. My husband was stressed, and chose to get upset, instead of teach to the situation correctly. (We all have our moments of weakness from time to time.)
My daughter was supposed to be cleaning her room, and was playing her piano instead. She had lost focus. (She is ten, this happens sometime
A Whole Selfish Family Read More »
Many parents of teen- or pre-teen-aged youth are confused about whether teenage rebellion is an attitude problem or whether the child is displaying healthy independence. When attitude problems seem like rebellion, parents wonder if rebellion is natural or simply a modern social construct that societies now think is developmentally normal. Rebellion is as old as
Healthy Independence vs. Rebellion Read More »
In his book, “The Power of Positive Thinking,” Norman Vincent Peale shares a story of a pastor talking to a painter about worrying. “Howard, don’t you ever worry?” the pastor asked the painter. The painter laughed and said, “No, not on your life. I don’t believe in it.” The painter goes on to tell how
Worry Not – Live Happy! Read More »
I once received a note from a reader about her 14-year-old son who was quite the thinker. He always wanted to know “Why?” about everything, which is wonderful, but it was leading to problems respecting authority.
The Children Want to Know Why… Read More »
A while ago,I was driving down the highway looking at the clear blue sky and the snow-capped mountains.A bird with a bright yellow head and a black body was perched on a wooden fence on the side of the road.The mountains were so beautiful.The spring flowers were starting to bloom.The radio played my favorite classical music station.The drive felt calm, like a dream.
Fun is so important for good personal and family health.Every Sunday we choose a family activity to do together sometime thatweek.My children also set a fun goal for the week with their father.He asks about their goal and makes sure they accomplish it. It’s great relationship-building time with their dad.
Fun… So Important! Read More »