“Perhaps I shouldn’t even tell people about this because it’s probably bad, but I just felt I had to do it,” said a friend of mine shortly after a trip with her four-year-old son to the gas station. My friend — we’ll call her Joanna — is a hip, young mother of two small children […]
Teaching Children Respect Just Got Easier! Read More »
While swimming with my family one day the calmness of our pool experience was interrupted by one very loud, very stressed mother. If only this mother was able to see the hearts of her children and everyone else in the pool area. If she could have taken a moment to do just one simple skill
1 Skill To Improve Calmness For The Whole Family Read More »
What is a teacher or parent to do when they have a group of troublesome toddlers or cheeky children? They don’t stay in their chairs, they crawl all over the carpet when they are supposed to be listening to a lesson, they talk out of turn and to each other, they don’t participate, and they
Give Me 5! – Obedience Chart For Class Settings Or Group Teaching Read More »
“What do I do about my child? She will not leave my side. I know I should love her attention and affection, but she is smothering me. I can’t do anything without her hanging and clinging onto me. Me and my husband can’t even go on dates because she makes such a fuss. Am I spoiling her? Some people have said that this must be why she won’t leave me. She is 20 months old.”
This is a great question! So many families experience what you have just analyzed. There is hope for your daughter and the solution might surprise you.
The Clingy Child Cure: From Clingy To Confident Read More »
Effective Parenting
Recently my friend, David Perry, the renown film maker, invited me to his home to teach his family self-government. The Perrys have two active young boys ages five and three. They are quickly becoming self-government experts.
This is a recent video of Hudson, age three, explaining
Hudson The Great!- Video of 3 Year Old Learning Self-Government Read More »
Awesome Success story of 20 month old boy doing Self-Government! If he can, anyone can! (audio recording from weekly Implementation Course Conference Call)
20 Month Old Learns Self-Government Read More »
I love working with and playing with my children. But, the crying game is a game I don’t play. Many children treat the crying behavior as if it is part of a game. They are able to go in and out of the crying game all day long whenever they see it can benefit them. Children often cry simply to get attention. I know it is hard for many parents to discern whether their child is seeking attention or not. Here is a true story which is meant to help clear up some of that confusion.
Nicholeen, Your peaceful parenting methods obviously work so well with older children and troubled teenagers. But, I have a house full of little children. Each day I face terrible twos, three year old tantrums, and four year old tantrums. Can children this young learn to govern themselves too? Answer: How ToStopTantrums This article is NOT
Toddler Tantrums: Positive Parenting Solutions Read More »
“But, what do you do when they are screaming, and it’s time to walk out the door?” a father asked me at a recent conference. “My strong willed three year old son is very difficult at those times.”
I looked at this wonderfully dedicated father, and felt his frustration. Who hasn’t felt the anxiety build when a child has a tantrum right when you are leaving for church or leaving for work?
Toddler Tantrums At The Most Inconvenient Times! Read More »
BJ Stober, family therapist and hostess of Family Voice Talk Radio, interviewed Nicholeen Peck on April 19, 2012 about strict parenting. This is a link to the audio/video version of the show.
Nicholeen discussed different ways to parent and how what to focus on in order to break bad parenting habits.
Be sure to listen for the 10 Things Parents Need To Know to teach their children self-government.
Interiew With Nicholeen Peck: Strict Parenting Read More »
Dealing with tantrums is the part of parenting which most parents dread. They hope their sweet little baby will not ever hit the toddler tantrum phase or the even worse teenage temper tantrum phase.
As a young mother, I was just as afraid of toddler tantrums as the next person.
Help My Out Of Control Kid!: How To Handle Temper Tantrums Read More »
“I’ve been using the 4 basic skills with my children, ages 7 and 4. It has been such a help. Thank you, Nicholeen!
But I’m not sure what to do to help my 4 yo understand the concept of
disagree appropriately. It seems too complex for her. She will go
through the script and ask to dis. app. and do it, but she seems
genuinely confused that she doesn’t always get her way when she does
this. I try to let her get her way as much as possible when she
Accepting No After Disagreeing Appropriately Read More »
Read about this amazing video on the next page! [video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEV-1UcyooQ&feature=player_embedded] Last week I asked for you to send me copies of some of the things you have done to implement Self-Government into your homes. The things I recieved were amazing! I can't wait until they are all available to you. In the mean time, take
Video: Two Year Old, Sam, Teaches The Four Basic Skills Read More »
Cause and effect is learned more effectively when the consequences, positive and negative, are practiced first. The example below is geared toward a parent with a toddler, but the principles can be applied to all ages and situations which need to be practiced and understood more.
“My two year old daughter likes to hit. She hits me, she hits my husband and she even hit’s the baby. No matter what I do nothing seems to work. Reasoning doesn’t really work with a two year old, so I am at a loss for what to do about this. I know I need to do something.”
Practicing The Right Way: Cause And Effect Parenting For Toddlers Who Hit And Others Read More »
Many people ask me when they should start teaching their children self government skills. It is never too early to start talking in a deliberate, describing way or to teach the word “okay.” Even the words “disagree appropriately” can be understood by most youngsters. My little almost 3 year old just asked if she could
Parenting Three Year Olds: They Really Understand Read More »
If you have ever had a baby, you know how hard feeding time can be.
I just had my 3rd baby and my oldest is turning 3 in a week and a half. This means that nursing the baby has become one of the most stressful times for me. I’ve been wondering to myself how I will ever stay sane if I can’t properly deal with the issues of the older 2 every time I nurse.
I love your idea of reading to the older kids while nursing the baby. I’ll try that one next time Zeke needs to eat.
Thanks for sharing this great advice.
I remember those years nursing and having toddlers. Those are hard times!!! There just aren’t enough arms and your thoughts get all jumbled up because of the noise and stress of it all. Obviously you should try to keep as calm as you can for the milk to be good and calming for the baby. I also know that is easier said than done.
How Do I Nurse A Baby And Handle The Rest Of The Children Too? Read More »
Can parents actually be too soft? Isn’t love and affection always the answer? If a parent isn’t being soft aren’t they being angry? I often have parents ask me about children who are really emotional. They say things like, “…she is really sensitive.” or “…he has a tender heart.” I know there are different personalities
Brave Parenting: Being Too Soft Read More »
“I do struggle and maybe you could give me some advice. I spend quite a bit of time with my kids in the morning going over little activities like school workbooks and story time and exercising together. Yet the minute I get on the phone or sit down to nurse the baby, the three boys are arguing or fighting or taking toys from each other or something of the sort. I have tried to get them to color or do a certain activity together, but that only lasts so long. It’s hard to discipline when you are nursing the baby.
I know I have a bit of post-pardom and always feel like I am always nursing the baby or disciplining my children. I have felt discouraged with my 3 boys behavior and realize some of their actions comes from mom spending so much time with the new little one. Do you have any tips or suggestions for me on how to best help teach my boys and solve the problems.”
J You hit a common discipline problem right on the head. I would like to meet a mother who can have a 30 minute phone conversation and not have things fall apart a little bit. My one hopeful thought to you is that as they grow, they learn to live without you for 30 minutes, or more. 😉
Nursing a baby is also a hard one. I have been there too.
“Mom is on the phone” ~Discipline Problem Read More »
Thank you so much for your teaching this subject! I purchased the CDs about two months ago when I heard about them through the LEMI mentors association, listened to them, took lots of notes, and put it into action at a family meeting about 3 weeks ago.
Parenting Questions: Tattling, Fighting, & Yelling Read More »
“My question, as it relates to the above entries and to my four year old is what to do when he will not stay in time-out (on our washer)? He will not stay there. He runs after me, screaming. I put him back – try hard to do it calmly and sometimes I have tried to keep him there using my hands to keep his legs on the washer, but then I feel like I am forcing him and it all goes down hill from there.”
I wrote an answer to a similar question over a year ago. It is called “Tantrums, Time-out and Tired Moms.” The article should answer most of your questions. It is alright to do a soft hold with a child to help him learn to want to stay on time-out himself to calm down, but you are right about it being a sort of “force.”
