One day my father told me something so profound that it literally changed my social life and my personal empowerment forever. After I finished telling him about how another child at school had been mean to me, he said, “Nicholeen, sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you.” I’m guessing […]
“Choose Not to Be Harmed” Read More »
“But what if they just keep talking back and are driving me crazy,” a mother asked me while I was instructing a group of parents on how to teach their children to accept “no” answers. The mother of three told the group she knew she needed help becausesometimes she feels so crazy, or out of
Who Drives You Crazy? Read More »
Are we holding our children back?In the past 80-100 years, society has started holding children back with an artificial extension of childhood instead of empowering them forward toward purpose and adulthood. Thomas At age 12, Thomas Edison convinced his parents to allow him to leave home in order to sell newspapers to Grand Trunk Railroad
The Artificial Extension of Childhood Read More »
Back in 2008 I received a letter from a woman that teaches a class every Sunday at church. She was having difficulty managing the behavior of the children in her class (or rather, the children were having difficulty managing their own behavior!). She wrote…
Can I Use TSG with Someone Else’s Child? – Part 1 Read More »
I’m in need of some help with my nine-year-old son. He is a major dawdler, and always has been. I am a very efficient person and try to get things done as quickly as possible. See the conflict already? It takes gobs of time for him to do simple things like get dressed, brush teeth, eat breakfast, read his books, and other things that are very simple. He’ll start the task, but then literally just start walking around the house in circles, just doing nothing in particular except dawdling.
The 9-Year-Old Dawdler Dilemma Read More »
Historically, as young people approached the age of 18, they would start to spread their wings and transition into adulthood by stepping outside of their comfort zones. Sadly, times have changed. Today, many teens are feeling increasingly more inadequate to attempt adult tasks. In fact, they often don’t even feel comfortable talking to adults. In
Teen-Culture and the Land of Make Believe Read More »
Freedom in the family is the key to raising children who are freer and more independent. The problem is, most people don’t understand freedom. Many families institute complete license without consequences assuming that’s freedom and that it will lead to independent children. But in reality, it leads to emotional bondage and relationship dysfunction. Personal freedom
Raising Independent Children Read More »
Recently, while texting with my oldest son, he asked, “Hey, what do you want for Mother’s Day?” I shouldn’t really admit that I don’t like those kinds of questions, but the truth is I don’t. Maybe it’s because my love language isn’t gifts, or maybe it’s because I never know what to say. The most
What Your Mother Really Wants Read More »
In an ideal world, children would dutifully do their chores not only as effectively as Mom or Dad would do them, but also without delay. Unfortunately, we don’t live in an ideal world. Human brains, especially child brains, are wired to find more efficient ways to do tasks in order to save time or effort.
A woman once asked me how to motivate her 18-year-old daughter to follow instructions and work more.Her daughter found following instruction insulting, and rewards or punishments like SODAS or TV time weren’t effective. The mom didn’t know any consequences or rewards that would motivate her daughter.
Motivation problems Read More »
When my son was 12, he sang barbershop with his dad and grandpa.A few nights a week they had long rehearsals.One night, my son didn’t get to bed until midnight after a rehearsal.He slept in the next morning and realized he missed helping the Boy Scouts deliver flags for Pioneer Day.He said, “I guess I was just too tired to get up.”
Communication: More Than Talking Read More »
Many parents of teen- or pre-teen-aged youth are confused about whether teenage rebellion is an attitude problem or whether the child is displaying healthy independence. When attitude problems seem like rebellion, parents wonder if rebellion is natural or simply a modern social construct that societies now think is developmentally normal. Rebellion is as old as
Healthy Independence vs. Rebellion Read More »
“Is it okay for children to correct their parents?” I often get asked by parents who are hoping to be just in their parenting. My answer to them is, “Well, that all depends how and when it’s done. There is a right way and a wrong way to correct children, and for children to correct
4 Rules to Remember for When They Try to Correct You Read More »
“If our society is coming apart at the seams, it is because the tailor and the seamstress in the home are not producing the kind of stitching that will hold under stress. In the name of giving advantages, we have too often bartered away the real opportunities of our children.” (1981, Be Thou an Example,
Stitching That Holds the Family Together Read More »
I once heard from a mother who was struggling with her three-year-old. The girl didn’t take “No” answers well, even when they practiced. When she earned a consequence she either wouldn’tdothe chore or would holler if it was the removal of a privilege.If the mother gave her a “No” answer to anything, the girl would flop on the floor and scream. If she didn’t get what she wanted from her siblings, she would yell and hit them.She was a sweet girl, but she was also very strong-willed and determined to get her way.
Even though the mistakes our children make are glaring us in the face, we also know that each of our children has certain attributes that make them wonderful, individual, and precious to us. Charitable parents focus more on those good, productive attributes than on the negative mistakes their children make daily. Each week I answer
Charitable Parenting Read More »
It’s all too common in many modern households to hear sighs, grumbling, complaining and whining from children when parents give reminders of daily work responsibilities, or when additional work assignments are given to children. But, before we think this is the way children have always felt about doing work or that everyone should feel work
How to Help Kids Enjoy Doing Work! Read More »
This Thanksgiving Day is dedicated to feeling and expressing gratitude for our blessings. Are you grateful for who you are and the roles you have? Two Mothers Two mothers, Tina and Katy, are watching the ball game of their oldest sons. Their boys play for the same team. Each mother has other children busily running
Grace is Behind the Thanks: Just Ask Mom Read More »
“Calmness is the rarest quality in human life. It is the poise of a great nature, in harmony with itself and its ideals. It is the moral atmosphere of a life self-centred, self-reliant, and self- controlled. Calmness is singleness of purpose, absolute confidence, and conscious power — ready to be focused in an instant to
2/3 of the Power Behind a Change of Heart Read More »
When today’s parents were children, the costume was all about sticking out individually. But today’s young people and families are leaning more and more toward theme costumes. Why is this? Well, modern youth and families are more about togetherness than their parent’s generation. Also, the youth seem to recognize the power of community and/or the
Strong Families Create a Halloween Sanctuary for Children Read More »
