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Nicholeen Peck

Do Less…..Our Victory!

1 Comment / All, Relationships /

Our family culture involves lots of music time.  It is a huge focus for all of us.  My older two children both spend lots of time singing, and playing piano.  They have a special music mentor who helps them excel in these areas. 

Their music mentor has spoken with me many times about how my daughter needs to be doing musical theatre.  No comment could make me more happy.  🙂  I love musicals.  I own just about every musical there is.  My father was a play director, when I was young, and directed a musical every year.  From a very young age, I was put in these productions.  Musical theatre i

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Impulsivness, ADHD and consequences

Leave a Comment / All, Using TSG Skills /

 “My son has ADHD…My main concerns are the impulsiveness…and  the fighting with his brothers- he literally cannot walk past without hitting them, punching them,   teasing them.  Car rides can be a real nightmare.  (The therapist says “just leave him home sometime”— yah- he’s 6 years old, I can’t just leave him home alone,  and leaving him with a neighbor would reward him for misbehaving in the car- ugg).  Needless to say- we stay home a lot.” 

I have had many youth, with many impulses, come to live with me.  Each one is uniquely diff

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Fighting with non-family members

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Relationships, Youth (10-18) /

“I have been reading your website and listening to your CD’s and practicing what I’ve learned from you.  It has helped tremendously with the level of peace in our home.  A situation occurred last night with my 12 y/o which has me a bit stymied.  He was at a church camp-out and playing flag football with some other boys.  One boy in particular has given him trouble on and off through the two years we have lived here.  This boy will slap my son and then say it was a joke, yell at hi

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What consequences do small children earn?

1 Comment / All, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

 “In your house, what are the privileges that are taken away when they lose ‘everything’ for 24 hours?   At what age can they understand that?   Or, what do you do with very little ones who are testing boundaries (and throwing fits) but can’t really do chores or understand losing things?  I don’t know if my 29 month old could put the two together, behavior wise.   I can’t really make him do chores or lose privileges as a teaching tool for him, but I do see him disobeying on purpose to test me.   My almost-4 year old could understand losing privileges as a consequence, but I don’t

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I’m hurt Mom…

Leave a Comment / All, Using TSG Skills /

“I’ve just been wondering about how to respond appropriately when my children get hurt.  I don’t want to be unsympathetic or cruel, but how do you respond if it’s something you have pointed out they shouldn’t do or they might get hurt, or they are disobeying a rule (like not running in the house or not jumping on/off furniture) and they get hurt doing it anyway?  What about when they get hurt because of a sibling or other child hitting or misbehaving?  What about when it’s just an accident?  I’ve noticed that around some people, children seem to try to “milk” the situation when t

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Play

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Enjoy all that the children are and do.  Interact a lot with them.  Play!  They grow too fast to waste any time.  I have spent too many days trying to be “productive” in my life, and missed the really important things.  I have promised myself not to do that any more.  Why would I choose to miss memories and bonding, just for sleep or, getting things done on some check off list?  I decided I was in charge, not some list, and I wasn’t going to miss the fun any more. 

This is just a thought I had today, and felt it was worth shari

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Time for Mom & Toddlers who won’t rest

Leave a Comment / All, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

There are some great questions in some of the recent comments. 

“…Most women I know are neglecting taking care of themselves on some level (physical or spiritual) to take care of their families or other obligations. Personally, I have been struggling lately to try to find some time for myself on a daily basis for things like scripture-reading, exercise, personal study time, and maybe a nap (I’m pregnant and tired!).

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Re-fuel

2 Comments / All, Home Culture, Relationships /

Tomorrow our family has to leave early for the day. While driving the car tonight I realized that we didn’t have any gas, and if we had to get gas tomorrow morning, we would probably end up running late for our appointments. So, I decided to take some time this evening to re-fuel the car. As I was standing at the pump, I realized that I am not much different than a car. I also need re-fueling from time to time in order to be a happy, healthy mom; the kind of mom that can keep running all day. We all need a little time to re-fuel on a regular basis. I used to take a whole day each m

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Bad Habits

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

“Some of my kids have developed bad habits such as finger-sucking, nose picking (and eating it), fingernail chewing, and touching their genitals.  Do you have any experience or advice on helping children successfully break these kinds of habits?  Some of my children have started doing such things from the time they are babies (finger-sucking), or have developed the habits a little later at around age 3 or so.  And one daughter in particular seems particularly prone to this type of thing (she’s eight now).”

I did have some youth who had behaviors which are not social

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Look “em” in the eyes

Leave a Comment / All, Relationships, Using TSG Skills /

We close the end of each day with a prayer as a family.  This is a time of reverence and quiet.  Tonight my four year old son was a little bit hyper.  Normally as soon as prayer begins everyone is silent and part of the moment, so we began prayer.  During the prayer he started laughing and joking.  He thought that he was pretty funny.  This kind of behavior is considered disrespectful and is inappropriate for this time of day. 

After the prayer I noticed that my son wasn’t in any mood to be taught yet, so I told him to go sit on time out for a few minutes. 

When he finished with time out

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Effective use of consequences

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“On your CDs you mention coming up with three predetermined consequences–a minor consequence, a major consequence, and a big whammy, but throughout the presentations it sounded like you gave examples of more than three consequences (1-extra chore, 2-loss of snack privileges, 3-24 hours of working/no privileges, 4-SODAS, 5-major maintenance).  I was a little confused since all the consequences you mentioned sounded like they were ones you had predetermined (not just ones that you’d agreed on in a family meeting to deal with other issues).  Do you have more than three predetermine

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For Crying out Loud ~Screaming

Leave a Comment / All, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

“I have listened to the cd’s from your mini-seminar at our LDSEHE conference. I am so amazed at your system! I can see how it would work wonderfully in my home – especially with my 3 older children. My fourth child is turning 2 Saturday. I love her! She is so cute and so smart and very spirited. She is my first screamer squealer and it is driving me bananas! Especially in the car. I don’t feel she can be reasoned with but she does understand some of what I say. How would you recommend teaching her that screaming and squealing is not part of our vision!

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The number one mission

Leave a Comment / All, Relationships, TSG Principles /

“My husband and I are listening to your CDs. We’ve heard you speak a few times but never got the whole thing before. Your CDs are definitely an answer to prayer. I’ve tried for a long time to figure out how to get my husband on board, but he always gets so BORED, lol! After listening to the first CD, I realized that I’m definitely the big dreamer/big picture/live for the moment type, and he’s the line drive/details/planner type – no wonder my efforts didn’t work. I had a big picture but no good details on how we were going to get there. Having the CDs gives my husband

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Should 3 year old lose privileges for 24 hours too?

1 Comment / All, Home Culture, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

“How do you take away all privileges from younger kids? My 3.5 year old is really pushing… This post was the first time I really understood the “lose all privileges for 24 hours” thing. I can figure out how to do that with my 6 and 8 year olds, but the younger ones, I just can’t see it. Can you give me a visual please?

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What do you do when…?

Leave a Comment / All, Using TSG Skills /

“How do you go about rewarding the kids who did not lose privileges in a way that the child who chose to lose his privileges looks at his own behavior as the cause of him missing out, instead of just feeling like mom is out to get him and wants him to be sad?  Even though I try to point out how the child is the one that made the choice, I have one kid in particular that only becomes bitter about these kinds of things and feels like we are happy when he gets into trouble and doesn’t get to have things.  Part of this may be due to how we have handled things in the past, trying to p

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Announcement

Leave a Comment / All, Announcements /

In the post below titled Honesty, I said that there is an article already written on the subject.  Some people have had a hard time accessing it. 

Type communicating honestly into the search bar at your top right.  Then some samples of blogs associated with honesty should come up.  Find “Communicating Honestly” and then click the title.  This should show you the whole entry.  Sorry if I was confusing. 

Nicholeen

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Honesty

Leave a Comment / All, Home Culture, Relationships, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills /

“I have two boys ages 7 and 4.  My 7yo has developed a couple problems: stealing and lying.  I think that I/we have been making the problem worse in the way we have handled it.  We also have a HUGE problem with not minding.  He is a very stubborn child and will not help us when trying to come up with consequences for his actions.  He says either, “I don’t know” or “give me a spanking” or something like that.  Those are NOT working, he seems to get worse with each consequence.

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Today…

Leave a Comment / All, Announcements /

…I am presenting a class to the youth in my area called, “Scholar Warriors ~ The Not So Secret Weapon”, based upon my character and warrior presentations.  This should be lots of fun!  We will have treats and games to follow, of course.  It will make a great Fall gathering.

 Have a great Holiday Weekend

🙂 Nicholeen

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I hear you!

Leave a Comment / All, Using TSG Skills /

“I can understand this, mom! I have a 7 year old who pretty much spent most of his first 5 years in timeout. About 2 years ago, I attended one of Nicholeen’s seminars. We decided to implement the losing of privileges in our family and had a family meeting. We were VERY consistent with this one child that was acting up the most, and today he is one of the most well-behaved! This was no easy task on our part by any means, but it worked. He probably had to lose privileges 15-20 times over the course of a year (yeah, he was a stubborn one) but he doesn’t anymore.

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