Showing 1–12 of 116 results
“I agree that there are definitely times I want my kids to tell me about what’s been happening, and you mentioned that you make sure your foster kids know the difference between the two–how do you that? Sometimes it’s really hard for ME to tell when it’s reporting, and when it’s tattling. Besides physically hurting one another, would you want your kids to report things like teasing, saying unkind things or rude words, not helping with a chore that everyone has been given to do together, or taking a toy from someone?”
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on April 21, 2008
Fighting over seat positions in the car, teasing, bragging, one-uping… Does any of this sound familiar? Do situations like these arise frequently in your home between your children? These situations are classified assibling rivalry.It can be very distracting and disruptive in the home.
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on April 28, 2016
This is part two of Teaching Self-Government success stories! Enjoy!
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on October 5, 2016
As I rounded the corner of a shopping isle at a local grocery store, I heard crying. Through tears a young girl, about 8 years old, said, “Tell me what it is Mom. Tell me what this is.” The moment I turned into this isle, the mother was in the middle of yelling, “Shut up right now or you’ll be sorry!!!” The mother caught a quick glimpse of me and immediately pretended she was examining the paper towels on the shelf. Then she quickly walked away. She had four girls with her. The oldest looked about 13. The 13-year-old, who didn’t see me, grabbed her younger sister by the arm and whacked her on the back side as hard as she could. The older sister looked proud of herself — even though she now knew I was watching. Then the two of them quietly followed the group to the next …
Posted by Monica Pond on May 23, 2018
Family travel looks different these days than it used to. Today’s parents were raised in a slower time. Most families planned one or two trips a year, which were usually taken during school holidays, and in our case, in the family travel trailer. While there are still families that really don’t like to leave home for even one night (even though I don’t know any of them myself), the average household spends 2 percent of its annual income on travel expenses. A family’s average cost of travel is $4,700 per year according to Value Penguin and $4,300 per vacation according to Stuffed Suitcase. Many families spend around 30 days on vacation annually. What impact do all those travel days have on family relationships? I think the hope is that they be positive. Parents have always known that to create lasting memories, families need to have shared experiences for extended periods …
Posted by Monica Pond on June 18, 2018
“You never can tell with bees,” said A.A. Milne’s cherished character Winne-the-Pooh. This was Pooh Bear’s naive way of saying he didn’t understand why bees did the things they did. He made his best guesses, but he always seemed to guess wrong and find himself in a prickled gorse bush — instead of feasting on fresh honey. As a beekeeper, I understand what part of getting honey Pooh never bothered to do: observe the actions of the bees and himself around the bees. When someone approaches the hive, a few guard bees automatically tip forward on their front legs, extending their stingers in the air. If the person coming toward the hive doesn’t retreat, then the bees start to fly at the person and push their stingers into the intruder. When bees sting, they die. Sir Francis Bacon said, “Men must not turn [into] bees.” When a person puts his …
Posted by Monica Pond on March 1, 2018
Could it be that Coronavirus could actually cure your family? Now families have to be together all the time. Some families think this sounds awful. If a family is thinking this, then they are in need of lots of family time, not the contrary.In an effort to turn this pandemic into a blessing for your family, I did a free webinar on March 21, 2020 to teach parents how to improve their family cultures. If you missed that event, here is a link to a part of that. This is a message all parents need to hear during this time.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5a2ENPFr_Y&t=7sHere is a link to the full webinar:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NWoGd4qYO4&t=3sDon’t let your spirits get down during this crisis. Families really can thrive during this time if they focus their efforts on strengthening their family cultures, instead of focusing on what they can’t do.
Posted by Monica Pond on March 25, 2020
How do you end tattling?
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on August 31, 2017
Whole Call: https://s3.amazonaws.com/1-SupportCalls/2020/09September/TSG_SC_9-9-20_WholeEdited.mp3 Question: I have been implementing your suggestions from the last couple of calls. Things have been tough this week but praise God, I have stayed calm. I keep repeating, “I don’t have to be stronger than him, just calmer than him” in my head. And I’m not giving wiggle-room, being consistent, etc. I’ve also been very consistent with the other kids – everyone has gotten a lot of extra chores and my house is close to sparkling… but attitudes are shifting and my children are starting to catch themselves before they whine, complain, backtalk, etc. My next question is again in relation to my 17yo – we’ve made it through 24 hours lost privileges and a bunch of extra chores… he’s still pretty begrudging and angry but realizes that I’m serious about being consistent. What is the best response for this kind of interaction: He’d earned …
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on September 12, 2020
Whole Call: https://s3.amazonaws.com/1-SupportCalls/2020/09September/TSG_SC_9-30-20_WholeEdited.mp3 Question: Hello Nicholeen, When my children are having trouble with friends, I often feel extremely stressed out that the problem be resolved. I then have trouble giving my child objective advice. I used to say negative things about the situation and make my child feel worse. Now my oldest is dating, and I noticed that my stress about things that bother my child is really too high. One example is if a date hasn’t called when expected and my child is worried that the person is going to “ghost” them. I would like to be the best person for them to come to for advice. How do I detach and be that person? Do you have any advice for how to handle this? Thank you. Answer: https://s3.amazonaws.com/1-SupportCalls/2020/09September/TSG_SC_9-30-20_Q1.mp3 I love that you are seeing that you are taking things too personally! That is really great assessment. It …
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on October 2, 2020
This call covers: Becoming a joyful adult yourself. Easy going to control freak toddler. Manipulative and controlling son. Young son pees all over things and won’t be patient. He does it purposely sometimes. Daughter needs to wear glasses and eye patch, but doesn’t like to because she gets teased by step family and others. Son has new phone for a few days and already has looked at porn sites. How to address that.
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on October 7, 2016
This Call Covers: Dealing with suicidal behaviors in children How to help children be calm in public places/situations Betime manipulation The consumerism parenting ideology, and how to avoid it Children manipulating parents Proper way to disagree appropriately
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on September 30, 2017