Relationships
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Worry Not โ Live Happy!
In his book, โThe Power of Positive Thinking,โ Norman Vincent Peale shares a story of a pastor talking to a painter about worrying.โHoward, donโt you ever worry?โ the pastor asked the painter.The painter laughed and said, โNo, not on your life. I donโt believe in it.โThe painter goes on to tell how he didnโt have time to worry and how he set aside one day a week to worry, pushing off all his daily concerns until that one day. But, after trying to worry on the designated day for all the things heโd pushed out of his mind throughout the week he couldnโt do it. He was a failure at worrying. The painter had already essentially trained himself not to worry.Whether knowingly or unknowingly, this painter had worked out a method, or skill set, for overcoming worry.Mr. Peale explained that, โpeople fail to overcome such troubles as worry becauseโฆthey allow …
Posted by Monica Pond on February 21, 2019

Why Not?
I instructed my daughter to sweep the floor. She said, โOK Mom, but I donโt know how.โ This surprised me. She had seen me sweep the floor so many times, that I forgot she might not even know how to accomplish the task.So, I told her exactly how to do it. It’s needs to be the same when telling your child what to say.
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on May 25, 2008

Whose Fault is It?
About five years ago I met a couple who seemed to have happiness in marriage completely figured out.ย They shared some of their secrets with me.ย One of them has made a huge impact on our home.ย It is called Odd and Even days.
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on June 21, 2008

Who Drives You Crazy?
โBut what if they just keep talking back and are driving me crazy,โ a mother asked me while I was instructing a group of parents on how to teach their children to accept โnoโ answers.The mother of three told the group she knew she needed help becausesometimes she feels so crazy, or out of control, when sheโs around her children that she looks forward to going to work instead of being at home with the family.I immediately noticed that wanting to go to work when things got rough at home was really just a desire to run away from a problem she didnโt feel quite prepared to solve.This mother was missing vital tools and honest perspective needed to stop herself and her children from going crazy or running away.Children most often develop the habit of talking back to parents in disrespectful ways because the behavior is occasionally tolerated. Parents unknowingly …
Posted by Monica Pond on October 19, 2019

Who Are You This Christmas?!
Christmas is full of symbols and characters that inspire us and that we can relate to. We all want to be Santa for someone each year, so we look for needs that we can meet anonymously โ just like he would. Some of us relate to Rudolph. We feel different, but know that our difference is just what the people around us need to accomplish their goals. Some of us are the Littlest Angel, so we give our best for Christ even though our offering seems small and humble. Some of us have had or are having a change of heart like Scrooge or the Grinch. Who are you this Christmas? As I ponder the true meaning of Christmas, I canโt help but delight in the profound comprehensiveness of the characters in the nativity story. Everyone can relate to one or more characters in the story. When we see the …
Posted by Monica Pond on December 21, 2017

Where We Give Our Attention Matters Most
When I was a little girl, my brothers used to tease me. Every time I was teased or called names by them, I allowed myself to become emotional. One day when I was upset, my father said to me, โNicholeen, if you donโt let the teasing work, then it wonโt be fun for them and theyโll stop teasing. You have to choose not to give any of it your attention.โ Eric Broaderick said, โThat which we choose to give attention gains power.โ This is so true. If we keep entertaining our stressful thoughts, then that stress overpowers us. If we entertain thoughts of gratitude, then we feel more connected to the people we are grateful for and find more happiness. Adults and children alike can find increased happiness if they realize what they focus on is up to them. During these times of uncertainty, we must not entertain thoughts of …
Posted by Monica Pond on November 16, 2020

When Is It Tattling?
“I agree that there are definitely times I want my kids to tell me about what’s been happening, and you mentioned that you make sure your foster kids know the difference between the two–how do you that? Sometimes it’s really hard for ME to tell when it’s reporting, and when it’s tattling. Besides physically hurting one another, would you want your kids to report things like teasing, saying unkind things or rude words, not helping with a chore that everyone has been given to do together, or taking a toy from someone?”
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on April 21, 2008

What Your Mother Really Wants
Recently, while texting with my oldest son, he asked, โHey, what do you want for Motherโs Day?โI shouldnโt really admit that I donโt like those kinds of questions, but the truth is I donโt. Maybe itโs because my love language isnโt gifts, or maybe itโs because I never know what to say. The most likely reason, however, is that deep down I always hope they already know what matters most to me.What Matters MostObviously, what matters most varies from person to person. But by and large mothers, who focus the majority of their lives on developing good relationships with their children and willingly give up any possibility for real free time to teach and nurture their children, all agree on one thing: The power of the gift comes from the heart behind the gift, not the gift itself.Since my son recently started his own family, I felt it was a …
Posted by Monica Pond on May 10, 2019

What Will You Sacrifice?
Sacrifice is vital for happiness. Most people think the word โsacrificeโ is bad and sounds like a hardship, not a joyful journey. Happiness sounds much better! But without giving up some of our indulgences, excuses and time wasters, itโs difficult to accomplish the things that bring the most happiness, like fulfilling our roles as parents and living the missions God has in store for us. Whatโs your mission? Do you feel called to, โFeed the hungry, clothe the naked, heal the sick, teach the ignorant, comfort the lonely, create beauty, liberate the captives, or preach the gospelโ? (Oliver DeMille) These eight missions appear repeatedly throughout history as ways people change the world and othersโ lives for good. Does one of these missions stand out to you? Did you know that being a parent covers all eight of these missions? What will we sacrifice to do our very best at our …
Posted by Monica Pond on June 6, 2018

What Is Destroying Family Bonding?
There is an international parent/child bonding problem. The world has never seen a global lack of parent/child attachment like this before. Of course, there are factors leading to this detachment, factors that the world has also never seen before. Are we experimenting on our families and children and calling it good leadership? Have we given up our roles in the family for social conformity, loss of identity, and cluelessness? I know Iโm not going to win many points with diligent, loving parents by calling them clueless. Iโm not intending to be mean, but every day I see video after video that laughs at what parents donโt know. Comedians and YouTubers have never-ending fodder for their acts if parenting is continually equal to a joke. If parents are overly tough, people will laugh. If parents are passive, people will laugh. If parents are worn out and have attitude problems, people will …
Posted by Monica Pond on November 1, 2017

What is a reactionship?
You won’t find the word โreactionshipโ in any dictionary, because I just made it up a short time ago. This is how it happened. While visiting a family with the purpose to help them see the best way to learn self-government I noticed that the way the parents were handling emotional outbursts from their teens varied. One parent would get emotional and stressed, and the other parent would take the youth aside and allow them to emotionally throw up all over him. One parent thought that the other parent was too aggressive, the other parent believed the other to be too permissive. They were both right. One parent was being aggressive and the other parent was being passive. One was trying to force obedience, and the other was trying to please the children enough to buy obedience. After spending some time talking about assertive communication and how to calmly, deliberately …
Posted by David Eggertsen on January 29, 2014

What Inspires Sibling Rivalry?
Fighting over seat positions in the car, teasing, bragging, one-uping… Does any of this sound familiar? Do situations like these arise frequently in your home between your children? These situations are classified assibling rivalry.It can be very distracting and disruptive in the home.
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on April 28, 2016