In his book, “The Power of Positive Thinking,” Norman Vincent Peale shares a story of a pastor talking to a painter about worrying.“Howard, don’t you ever worry?” the pastor asked the painter.The painter laughed and said, “No, not on your life. I don’t believe in it.”The painter goes on to tell how he didn’t have time to worry and how he set aside one day a week to worry, pushing off all his daily concerns until that one day. But, after trying to worry on the designated day for all the things he’d pushed out of his mind throughout the week he couldn’t do it. He was a failure at worrying. The painter had already essentially trained himself not to worry.Whether knowingly or unknowingly, this painter had worked out a method, or skill set, for overcoming worry.Mr. Peale explained that, “people fail to overcome such troubles as worry because…they allow …

Worry Not – Live Happy! Read More »

Posted by Monica Pond on February 21, 2019

“But what if they just keep talking back and are driving me crazy,” a mother asked me while I was instructing a group of parents on how to teach their children to accept “no” answers.The mother of three told the group she knew she needed help becausesometimes she feels so crazy, or out of control, when she’s around her children that she looks forward to going to work instead of being at home with the family.I immediately noticed that wanting to go to work when things got rough at home was really just a desire to run away from a problem she didn’t feel quite prepared to solve.This mother was missing vital tools and honest perspective needed to stop herself and her children from going crazy or running away.Children most often develop the habit of talking back to parents in disrespectful ways because the behavior is occasionally tolerated. Parents unknowingly …

Who Drives You Crazy? Read More »

Posted by Monica Pond on October 19, 2019

I recently asked a group of 10-year-old children what kinds of negative consequences their families have. “At our house, we sweep the floor and clean,” said one boy. “Mom gets mad and goes into a bad mood,” said another boy. “Mom used to send us to time out, but we don’t do that anymore,” said a thoughtful girl. I asked her what they do for negative consequences now. She thought for a minute and said, “I guess Mom just does whatever she can think of to control us. Sometimes we get soap in our mouths when we say bad words, sometimes she gets really grumpy and makes life hard for us, and sometimes she takes our stuff away,” she replied. Negative Consequences Shouldn’t Be Bad I then asked the children if they thought negative consequences are bad. Most of the children in the room said, “Yes” before the first little …

What Children Think of Negative Consequences Read More »

Posted by Monica Pond on July 18, 2018

Relationships require selfless service to survive. Although there are multiple reasons people site for their relationship dysfunctions, from infidelity to arguments, relationship problems usually all have two things in common: dishonesty and selfishness. According to The Institute For Family Studies, the leading causes of divorce are: infidelity, incompatibility, drinking or drug use, growing apart, a lack of commitment, and too much arguing. In my own studies of families who are working to overcome dysfunctional family relationships and fractured family bonds through Teaching Self-Government parenting services, I’ve noticed that the main causes of broken or damaged family bonds can be grouped into a handful of reasons. These reasons include: lack of communication, laziness, not valuing family, arguing and fights, lies and manipulations, excuses for bad behavior, disrespect for parental authority and position of the child, losing common values, and only being concerned with one’s own feelings and wants. Every reason listed …

What Breaks Relationships And How To Fix Them Read More »

Posted by Monica Pond on December 28, 2020

This call covers: What to do when children CHOOSE to lose all privliges What to do if youare abully-style parent How to love your children inspite of yourself Extra chores for super young children Dealing with ODD Children/ODD or just defiance?

Posted by Nicholeen Peck on June 15, 2017

As I rounded the corner of a shopping isle at a local grocery store, I heard crying. Through tears a young girl, about 8 years old, said, “Tell me what it is Mom. Tell me what this is.” The moment I turned into this isle, the mother was in the middle of yelling, “Shut up right now or you’ll be sorry!!!” The mother caught a quick glimpse of me and immediately pretended she was examining the paper towels on the shelf. Then she quickly walked away. She had four girls with her. The oldest looked about 13. The 13-year-old, who didn’t see me, grabbed her younger sister by the arm and whacked her on the back side as hard as she could. The older sister looked proud of herself — even though she now knew I was watching. Then the two of them quietly followed the group to the next …

Treasure the Little Ones Read More »

Posted by Monica Pond on May 23, 2018

Family travel looks different these days than it used to. Today’s parents were raised in a slower time. Most families planned one or two trips a year, which were usually taken during school holidays, and in our case, in the family travel trailer. While there are still families that really don’t like to leave home for even one night (even though I don’t know any of them myself), the average household spends 2 percent of its annual income on travel expenses. A family’s average cost of travel is $4,700 per year according to Value Penguin and $4,300 per vacation according to Stuffed Suitcase. Many families spend around 30 days on vacation annually. What impact do all those travel days have on family relationships? I think the hope is that they be positive. Parents have always known that to create lasting memories, families need to have shared experiences for extended periods …

Traveling Trends Meet Parenting Problems Read More »

Posted by Monica Pond on June 18, 2018

(This event is not hosted by TSG. Nicholeen will be a guest speaker.) Welcome! I don’t know about you, but 2020 was a tough year!  Homeschooling wasn’t the same.  I heard from so many people who were on their own and needed inspiration. …New homeschoolers who were trying to school at home. …Veteran homeschoolers who were trying to make this new “normal” work for their kids. …Parents whose kids were not doing well with the limited socialization. One day it came to me…  I want to help.  And I know of many others who want to as well. So, the Transformational Education Homeschool Conference is BACK! Register TODAY to join us Friday, February 19th, and Saturday, February 20th, from 8 am to 4 pm Pacific. There is NO COST for this online conference. You get to enjoy it in your own home. It is our gift to you! There will be …

Transformational Education Conference Read More »

Posted by Monica Pond on January 19, 2021

“You never can tell with bees,” said A.A. Milne’s cherished character Winne-the-Pooh. This was Pooh Bear’s naive way of saying he didn’t understand why bees did the things they did. He made his best guesses, but he always seemed to guess wrong and find himself in a prickled gorse bush — instead of feasting on fresh honey. As a beekeeper, I understand what part of getting honey Pooh never bothered to do: observe the actions of the bees and himself around the bees. When someone approaches the hive, a few guard bees automatically tip forward on their front legs, extending their stingers in the air. If the person coming toward the hive doesn’t retreat, then the bees start to fly at the person and push their stingers into the intruder. When bees sting, they die. Sir Francis Bacon said, “Men must not turn [into] bees.” When a person puts his …

Trade Time for Anger: Find Calmness and Patience Read More »

Posted by Monica Pond on March 1, 2018

Most every mother has experienced something like this — you’re at the grocery store, busy juggling carts, food items and kids, when one of your children starts throwing a temper tantrum. You do your best to console them, trying to ignore the irritated glances of your fellow shoppers, and then, with a stress level through the roof, you finally flee the premises. These experiences are emotionally draining and can feel a little embarrassing as well. When you see another mom struggling with her kid(s) at the store, don’t you just wish you could go over and help somehow to ease the stress you can see on her face? I can remember a time when I was a young mother and my newborn baby screamed the entire time we were trying to check out. While this might not seem like an extraordinary experience, this particular instance was life altering for me. …

To the Mother of the Screaming Child in the Grocery Store Line Read More »

Posted by Jeff Pizzino on September 25, 2015

Self-government is being able to determine the cause and effect of any given situation and possessing a knowledge of your own behaviors so that you can control them. This means that each person decides what type of person they ought to be and plans for how to become this person. When, as it always does, the person falls off the path to success a bit, the person recognizes what has happened and then corrects his course to maintain his desired direction. This is what it means to master yourself. June decided that she wanted to improve her health and maybe shed a few pounds. She determined that to accomplish her goal she needed to exercise more. So, she planned to walk before work each morning for 45 minutes. At first June did great. She awoke one hour earlier and walked daily for about 10 days. She felt better than ever …

To Find Personal Success, Give Yourself a “No” Answer Read More »

Posted by Monica Pond on August 9, 2017

“My 2yo has started crying a LOT the past few days. Over every little thing. Nothing is different physically or environmentally that I can tell. He already has his 2yo molars, too.. He’s just been crying about everything that he doesn’t like, with some pretty good tantrums thrown in the mix of the average crying. I tried holding him in timeout (he’s never stayed in time out on his own so far), but he screamed and threw a serious tantrum the whole time.. which wouldn’t be a problem for me except that I have to take care of the other kids, too! I tried holding him in our time-out spot until he was done with the tantrum so I could praise him for being happy, etc., but after 40 minutes of continuous screaming, my baby was also crying, needing to be fed, and the other young kids had destroyed the …

Tips For Using Time-out With Toddlers Read More »

Posted by Nicholeen Peck on December 30, 2009