There is an international parent/child bonding problem. The world has never seen a global lack of parent/child attachment like this before. Of course, there are factors leading to this detachment, factors that the world has also never seen before. Are we experimenting on our families and children and calling it good leadership? Have we given up our roles in the family for social conformity, loss of identity, and cluelessness? I know I’m not going to win many points with diligent, loving parents by calling them clueless. I’m not intending to be mean, but every day I see video after video that laughs at what parents don’t know. Comedians and YouTubers have never-ending fodder for their acts if parenting is continually equal to a joke. If parents are overly tough, people will laugh. If parents are passive, people will laugh. If parents are worn out and have attitude problems, people will …

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Posted by Monica Pond on November 1, 2017

How do you parent a child who is red/yellow when you are a white/blue? My son and I are so entirely different and he’s so impulsive (almost destructive) that it completely shakes my world. I often find him sneaking downstairs and turning on the Wii (which we only permit on Friday and Saturday as a privilege). Even though he receives consequences (extra chores, etc.) the benefit from sneaking still outweighs the consequences he receives. He is extremely smart and creative, however, I find it hard to adapt and allow him to explore. Just a small example is that when I came into the kitchen, he had poured most of my white vinegar into a large pitcher and added a lot of baking soda to it to see what would happen. Of course, a nice reaction occurred (like a volcano) causing messes in the kitchen (not to mention “wasted” ingredients). My …

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Posted by Nicholeen Peck on March 5, 2011

Historically, as young people approached the age of 18, they would start to spread their wings and transition into adulthood by stepping outside of their comfort zones. Sadly, times have changed.Today, many teens are feeling increasingly more inadequate to attempt adult tasks. In fact, they often don’t even feel comfortable talking to adults. In the midst of this fragility epidemic, many teens don’t see that the answer to their “feeling-inadequate-for-adult-life problem” is staring them right in the face.Their parents.Dr. Leonard Sax, author of “The Collapse of Parenting,” said: “The parent-child relationship differs from the relationship between same-age peers.” This statement contradicts the once “revolutionary” parenting belief perpetuated by Dr. Benjamin Spock that parents should treat their children like friends with equal roles, instead of like children who need a parent’s love and nurturing.Sax continues: “The child expects to look up to the parent, to be instructed by the parent, indeed, …

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Posted by Monica Pond on July 9, 2019

This call covers: Becoming a joyful adult yourself. Easy going to control freak toddler. Manipulative and controlling son. Young son pees all over things and won’t be patient. He does it purposely sometimes. Daughter needs to wear glasses and eye patch, but doesn’t like to because she gets teased by step family and others. Son has new phone for a few days and already has looked at porn sites. How to address that.

Posted by Nicholeen Peck on October 7, 2016

This Call Covers: Dealing with video games as a family

Posted by Nicholeen Peck on October 1, 2018

This call covers: Twin 6-year-old boys who struggle with lying, cheating, and stealing. New to the program and has a 10-year-old son who rages and gets angry. Aged 2 son slaps, pinches, and rips. He’s a little bully. Adopted daughter won’t open up about anything and phone is a constanct companion. Entitlement confusion.

Posted by Nicholeen Peck on September 7, 2016

Whole Call: https://s3.amazonaws.com/1-SupportCalls/2020/08August/TSG_SC_8-5-20_WholeEdited.mp3   Question: My 5 year old son keeps hitting his 3 year old sister. I think it’s just because he gets annoyed, but I’d like it to stop. She can get in his business sometimes and ruin his toy set up and stuff. This is when it usually happens. I kind of feel like he’s justified and that the 3 year old needs to learn. But, I’m sure letting him hit isn’t a good way to teach either of them self-government. What would you suggest I do to handle this situation?  Answer: https://s3.amazonaws.com/1-SupportCalls/2020/08August/TSG_SC_8-5-20_Q1.mp3 Pre-teach both about Accepting “no” answers and disagreeing appropriately.  Then, correct them both, and praise them both.  You may want to stay closer by for a while too, to catch them and help them disagree appropriately and learn to problem solve.    Question: My daughter, age 16, is telling me she has social anxiety/depression. …

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Posted by Nicholeen Peck on August 9, 2020

Whole Call: https://s3.amazonaws.com/1-SupportCalls/2020/08August/TSG_SC_8-19-20_WholeEdited.mp3 Question: I have a 17-year-old who has many issues that we are working on. My husband is incarcerated and I was in “survival mode” for a long time after his arrest. The kids had more screen time than I would have liked. Now I’ve worked hard with the younger kids to get back into a routine and with good structure/boundaries. I’ve scaled back my teen boys to 1 hour of screentime in the evenings after schoolwork is done. Like I said, my 17yo has many issues, including horrible, blatant disrespect. But the thing that’s driving me crazy right now is his inability to accept “no” for a video game. There’s a game he wants to play during computer time that I’ve given a firm “no” to – and I will not budge. So he mentions and whines about this game probably 50x a day. I’m not sure …

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Posted by Nicholeen Peck on August 19, 2020

Whole Call: https://s3.amazonaws.com/1-SupportCalls/2020/07July/TSG_SC_7-8-20_WholeEdited.mp3   Question: Hello Nicholeen, My question is about dinner conversation. Our conversations used to revolve around our youngest acting out at dinner, ie crying, arguing, not eating, We recently implemented the 4 skills, and the Rule of Three with consequences. We also have a family vision and a family standard. Within less than a week, she was no longer acting out at dinner. Now there is very little conversation during meal times. We are eating breakfast and dinner all together every day. We have five children from 11-20 that are all at home. Do you have advice for how to spark and maintain conversation during meal times? Thank you! Answer: https://s3.amazonaws.com/1-SupportCalls/2020/07July/TSG_SC_7-8-20_Q1.mp3 Downs and the Ups game. Or, the what you’re grateful for that day game.  Family conversation card game. Tell stories from your youth.    Question: My 11 year old daughter is really bossy to her two …

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Posted by Nicholeen Peck on July 10, 2020

Whole call: CC Notes 7-7-2021 https://s3.amazonaws.com/1-SupportCalls/2021/07july/tsg-sc-7-6-21WhoeEdited.mp3 Question: 6 year old and 3 year old chore rewards for money or screen time. When we give the 3 year old instructions she shuts down and says she needs help every time. Answer: https://s3.amazonaws.com/1-SupportCalls/2021/07july/ts-sc-7-6-21Q1.mp3 Pre-teach… Work with them… Earning screen time… Give her raise… Question: Disagreeing appropriately and moving into the rule of three. My son likes to debate and so I want to tell him he can’t disagree appropriately. Answer: https://s3.amazonaws.com/1-SupportCalls/2021/07july/tsg-sc-7-6-21Q2.mp3 The fact the he is improving… He’s arguing…”I understand…” Tell him what you’re thinking and how you’re processing what he’s doing… Practice… Question: Questions about the heart and manipulation while in 24 hours loss of privilege. Answer: https://s3.amazonaws.com/1-SupportCalls/2021/07july/tsg-sc-7-6-21Q3.mp3 Damaged relationship… Bonding… Graduating the program… It’s about the heart… Question: Question about correcting and feeling childish. Answer: https://s3.amazonaws.com/1-SupportCalls/2021/07july/tsg-sc-7-6-21Q4.mp3 United hearts… Question: My 2.5-year-old is out of control a lot. I don’t have …

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Posted by Nicholeen Peck on July 8, 2021

This Call Covers:Helping a child plan for the future when they don’t seem to careSelf-government and young childrenLack of self-government in teensHow to become a TSG mentor

Posted by Nicholeen Peck on July 6, 2019

Whole Call: https://s3.amazonaws.com/1-SupportCalls/2020/07July/TSG_SC_7-15-20_WholeEdited.mp3   Question: I am in the very baby beginning phase of starting TSG. I have only read the book and haven’t even sat the kids down to teach them the 4 basic instructions yet. But what I’ve been thinking about is our paid activities (like gymnastics, dance, horseback riding etc) and the loss of privileges. If their activity falls on a day they have lost their privilege do you make them miss it? The problem is that they are expensive and making them miss it means we are out that money so it’s a punishment for us. They are 9, 8, 6, and 4 so don’t really have enough money to cover it if they miss. Also, for team activities not being at practice is letting down the team and I believe going back on a commitment, but I also believe that the fact that they get …

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Posted by Nicholeen Peck on July 15, 2020