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“There is no substitute for hard work.” (Thomas Edison) Years ago, when I was planning a Teaching Self-Government trip to China, a good friend of mine said, “Nicholeen, what are you going to tell parents in China who don’t understand why their child should earn an extra chore? Most parents don’t have their children do
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My son will not follow instructions. He is 11 and just won’t. What do I do if he just calmly turns away from me every time I ask him to do something?
How do I help my 20 year old son to go back to school? Do I push it or just let it be since he is now an adult? What do I do? Can I make him?
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At what age does a mother have to accept that her daughter is now old enough to makeher own decisions, and peacefully accept rather than try to advise and correct herbehavior?
When you’re assigning a job as a consequence, how do you go about it if you’re not athome?
How do I wean my little daughter from a reward-based system but still help her with pottying in the toilet every time? Also, she is “happily hurtful.” How do I help that?
My kids think that the calm down spot isn’t a place for them to just calm down. If they stop crying immediately, can they leave the calm down spot right then or not have to go at all?
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“One question my husband had was that when you have a consequence it is quite often an extra chore. His thought is that this would make the children hate doing chores, that they would never want to do a chore unless forced to because they were the means for discipline. Have you found this to
Structured Family: Work as a Consequence Read More »
My kids are really hard workers (At least I’ve taught them one thing right!) so they are not bothered at all by doing an extra job or even doing jobs for one hour or all day. It’s not their favorite thing to do but they will do it without complaining and then go right back to the same behavior that we were trying to fix. I know it sounds crazy but these are unusual kids I’m raising!
I know you’ve written posts about chores before, but I can’t seem to find them on your website. So I’ll ask my questions, and maybe you can direct me to the proper posts if you’ve already answered them! Are the everyday chores that kids have a “standing instruction?” In other words, if they don’t do their chores or have to be reminded to do them, are they not following instructions, and would they start earning consequences?
Yes. Any responsibility your child has, such as a chore or school work, is an instruction. The term “standing instruction” is perfect fo
Are Chores Instructions too? Read More »
“Thanks so much for all the wisdom and inspiration you share. I have a son (age 11) who zapps so much emotional energy from me. Over the last several months, I’ve really been trying to see things as they are and trying to determine how to handle things. He is a great kid. He’s the first one to help a younger sibling who is hurt or to give up his ice cream cone is one of his younger siblings dropped theirs. He is also the one who complains the most, rolls his eyes back into his head and gets “that look” when things do not go his way. I know that he is often “out of instructi