Behaviors

He Won’t Clean His Room?

Leave a Comment / All, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills / Nicholeen Peck

I’m having trouble figuring out a good consequence beyond time out for my 3 yr old. He and his brother who just turned 6 share a room. I gave them an instruction to clean their room this morning, and he left the room to play with toys before it was done.He went into time out nicely, and loved being praised for being good in time out after his 3 minutes were up. He promised to finished cleaning. But then he did it again. We repeated the process and he had a second time out, but he left time out before the time was up. Is it bad to use the same consquence twice in a row? Do consequences always need to get bigger?

He Won’t Clean His Room? Read More »

Do You See What I See?

3 Comments / All, Using TSG Skills / Nicholeen Peck

Over the last year, my niece has gone through a change. The once happy, helpful girl changed into a whiny, depressed, girl that didn’t look at life the same. One day I got left home with the all the children whilethe adultswent shopping. While I was home with the children I started giving instructions for everyone to clean things up around the house. My niece started arguing with me, then she started whining, then she started complaining about everything in her life and told me that I just didn’t understand her. This is how I handled it…

Do You See What I See? Read More »

Speed Things Up

Leave a Comment / All, Using TSG Skills / Nicholeen Peck

“My daughter takes 10 minutes to actually say ‘OK’ to an instruction. How do I speed things up?”

If it’s taking 10 minutes for the daughter to say “Okay” to an instruction, then she is having a power struggle and isn’t actually following the instruction. how could you do it better?

Speed Things Up Read More »

Appropriate Touch

Leave a Comment / All, Home Culture, Relationships / Nicholeen Peck

“You mentioned you have touching rules for friends, family, and neighbors–do you mind sharing them?”

There are rules and boundaries for touching for different groups of people. Know what they are and make sure your kids know what they are too.

Appropriate Touch Read More »

The Times We Live In Part 2

1 Comment / All, Youth (10-18) / Nicholeen Peck

“My husband works at a jail and just a few weeks ago a man we both know from school and church was brought in on sexual charges. His niece was supposedly the victim. Both of us were very surprised, as we wouldn’t have expected him of doing such a thing. Whether he is guilty or not, we will probably never know.However, after discussing it, we both thought that not only is it important to try to protect our children from this type of thing, we also need to take steps to protect OURSELVES and our own reputations.”

The Times We Live In Part 2 Read More »

The Times We Live In Part 1

1 Comment / All, Children (4-10), Home Culture, TSG Principles / Nicholeen Peck

A reader wrote to me telling me about a young neighborhood child that introduced things of a sexual nature to her daughter. This is not a fun subject. I have been avoiding putting it on the site, but the more I think about it, this topic is probably one of the biggest things parents face. How do we keep our children free from the disease of sexual impurity that seems to be taking over our world? How do we make them aware while not taking away their innocence?

The Times We Live In Part 1 Read More »

Helping Young Children Accept “No” Answers

1 Comment / All, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills / Nicholeen Peck

“Nicholeen, I was wondering how you teach these principles to the younger children. My children are (almost) 8, (almost) 6, 3.5, 20 months, and a 2 week old. (not that I expect to be doing this with the newborn right away. *grin* ) I can usually expect my older two to follow instructions, but the 3 year old and 20 month olds do not. I realize that the 20 month old is still learning, and “no” is her favorite word.

Helping Young Children Accept “No” Answers Read More »

A Parable

1 Comment / All, TSG Principles / Nicholeen Peck

Sometimes when parents start teaching their children how to govern themselves, the children start to fight against the new system. Many people don’t cope with change well, and children are often more anxious during times of change than adults. People look at whatever they have become as normal and comfortable.We don’t like to step out of our comfort zones and start fresh in a whole new environment, especially when we knowthat we will never get the old environment back in this case.

A Parable Read More »

When do you talk about “it”?

1 Comment / All, Home Culture, Relationships / Nicholeen Peck

I have to ask it because it’s something I struggle with talking about to my kids . . . when do you talk to your children about sex? How do you go about it so that they understand that sex is actually a good thing at the right time and place, and not some evil thing (the world’s view) that you have to do to bring children to the world?

When do you talk about “it”? Read More »

Certain Consequences For Certain Behaviors

2 Comments / All, Home Culture, Using TSG Skills / Nicholeen Peck

A blog reader wrote:

1 – We don’t have a “rule” or certain consequence set up for every behavior in the book (nor do we want so many specific rules!) So, I’m wondering if “just-plain-not-doing-what-you-know-you-should” (be kind, be respectful, be responsible, be honest, don’t hit, tease, talk back, etc.) would be considered “not following instructions”, and would it then be followed up with the usual – an extra job, followed by SODAS, then major maintenance, and 24 hours without privileges…? Or is it better to assign certain consequences to certain behaviors?

Certain Consequences For Certain Behaviors Read More »

When Is It Tattling?

Leave a Comment / All, Using TSG Skills / Nicholeen Peck

“I agree that there are definitely times I want my kids to tell me about what’s been happening, and you mentioned that you make sure your foster kids know the difference between the two–how do you that? Sometimes it’s really hard for ME to tell when it’s reporting, and when it’s tattling. Besides physically hurting one another, would you want your kids to report things like teasing, saying unkind things or rude words, not helping with a chore that everyone has been given to do together, or taking a toy from someone?”

When Is It Tattling? Read More »

Poopy Pants and Tantrums

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Relationships, Using TSG Skills / Nicholeen Peck

Nicholeen,

I have one problem I have not figured out how to resolve. My son (6)is a great kid, but there is one thing that sets him off every time to the point that he hits, kicks, screams, says unkind things, and basically acts like the whole world is against him so why try. This happens every time without fail when he is caught with poopy pants.

Poopy Pants and Tantrums Read More »

“It’s Time To Go To Bed.”

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Home Culture, Using TSG Skills / Nicholeen Peck

Nicholeen, I have a 9-year old boy. He is a typical 9-year old boy, I believe, in that his mind (and mouth) is constantly going 200 miles an hour. His siblings are always waiting for him to stop talking so they can get a word in edgewise. He is full of ideas and loves to take things apart. We are having a problem with bedtime. He goes to bed just fine, but once there, he won’t go to sleep. We let him read for about 15-30 minutes once he’s in bed, then we come down and turn the lights out (for him and his younger brother who is 4).

“It’s Time To Go To Bed.” Read More »