“But what if they just keep talking back and are driving me crazy,” a mother asked me while I was instructing a group of parents on how to teach their children to accept “no” answers.The mother of three told the group she knew she needed help becausesometimes she feels so crazy, or out of control, when she’s around her children that she looks forward to going to work instead of being at home with the family.I immediately noticed that wanting to go to work when things got rough at home was really just a desire to run away from a problem she didn’t feel quite prepared to solve.This mother was missing vital tools and honest perspective needed to stop herself and her children from going crazy or running away.Children most often develop the habit of talking back to parents in disrespectful ways because the behavior is occasionally tolerated. Parents unknowingly …
Posted by Monica Pond on October 19, 2019
10 modules including over 70 lessons Downloadable PDF workbook pages for each lesson Group live mentoring calls with certified TSG mentor Weekly Support Group calls with Nicholeen Downloadable version of the cue cards, meeting forms, and choices map. Teaching Self-Government 15-Lesson Family Tutorial included FREE (Viewable on the website, no DVD) Online videos of actual parenting interactions Lifetime access to online course materials More in-depth understanding of self-government and personal self-mastery Stronger relationship strategies for husband/wife relationship Suggested assignments for implementation success Please note that the course material is online. No physical materials will be included. If you also wish to have the Parenting: A House United book or any other physical materials we recommend the Parenting University Package or Parenting Essentials Package.
Posted by David Eggertsen on June 28, 2020
As I rounded the corner of a shopping isle at a local grocery store, I heard crying. Through tears a young girl, about 8 years old, said, “Tell me what it is Mom. Tell me what this is.” The moment I turned into this isle, the mother was in the middle of yelling, “Shut up right now or you’ll be sorry!!!” The mother caught a quick glimpse of me and immediately pretended she was examining the paper towels on the shelf. Then she quickly walked away. She had four girls with her. The oldest looked about 13. The 13-year-old, who didn’t see me, grabbed her younger sister by the arm and whacked her on the back side as hard as she could. The older sister looked proud of herself — even though she now knew I was watching. Then the two of them quietly followed the group to the next …
Posted by Monica Pond on May 23, 2018
Family travel looks different these days than it used to. Today’s parents were raised in a slower time. Most families planned one or two trips a year, which were usually taken during school holidays, and in our case, in the family travel trailer. While there are still families that really don’t like to leave home for even one night (even though I don’t know any of them myself), the average household spends 2 percent of its annual income on travel expenses. A family’s average cost of travel is $4,700 per year according to Value Penguin and $4,300 per vacation according to Stuffed Suitcase. Many families spend around 30 days on vacation annually. What impact do all those travel days have on family relationships? I think the hope is that they be positive. Parents have always known that to create lasting memories, families need to have shared experiences for extended periods …
Posted by Monica Pond on June 18, 2018
Could it be that Coronavirus could actually cure your family? Now families have to be together all the time. Some families think this sounds awful. If a family is thinking this, then they are in need of lots of family time, not the contrary.In an effort to turn this pandemic into a blessing for your family, I did a free webinar on March 21, 2020 to teach parents how to improve their family cultures. If you missed that event, here is a link to a part of that. This is a message all parents need to hear during this time.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5a2ENPFr_Y&t=7sHere is a link to the full webinar:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NWoGd4qYO4&t=3sDon’t let your spirits get down during this crisis. Families really can thrive during this time if they focus their efforts on strengthening their family cultures, instead of focusing on what they can’t do.
Posted by Monica Pond on March 25, 2020
I once received a note from a reader about her 14-year-old son who was quite the thinker. He always wanted to know “Why?” about everything, which is wonderful, but it was leading to problems respecting authority.
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on February 14, 2019
Years ago I was participating in a sewing activity at my church. Many women had gathered at the church with their sewing machines. At this activity, there was a four-year-old girl that kept touching the knobs on the sewing machines. Her mother tried to keep her in control and punished her by putting her into time-out when she touched the machines. She didn’t stop trying to touch the machines —even though this girl was punished each time .
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on March 21, 2018
Historically, as young people approached the age of 18, they would start to spread their wings and transition into adulthood by stepping outside of their comfort zones. Sadly, times have changed.Today, many teens are feeling increasingly more inadequate to attempt adult tasks. In fact, they often don’t even feel comfortable talking to adults. In the midst of this fragility epidemic, many teens don’t see that the answer to their “feeling-inadequate-for-adult-life problem” is staring them right in the face.Their parents.Dr. Leonard Sax, author of “The Collapse of Parenting,” said: “The parent-child relationship differs from the relationship between same-age peers.” This statement contradicts the once “revolutionary” parenting belief perpetuated by Dr. Benjamin Spock that parents should treat their children like friends with equal roles, instead of like children who need a parent’s love and nurturing.Sax continues: “The child expects to look up to the parent, to be instructed by the parent, indeed, …
Posted by Monica Pond on July 9, 2019
Whole Call: https://s3.amazonaws.com/1-SupportCalls/2020/09September/TSG_SC_9-9-20_WholeEdited.mp3 Question: I have been implementing your suggestions from the last couple of calls. Things have been tough this week but praise God, I have stayed calm. I keep repeating, “I don’t have to be stronger than him, just calmer than him” in my head. And I’m not giving wiggle-room, being consistent, etc. I’ve also been very consistent with the other kids – everyone has gotten a lot of extra chores and my house is close to sparkling… but attitudes are shifting and my children are starting to catch themselves before they whine, complain, backtalk, etc. My next question is again in relation to my 17yo – we’ve made it through 24 hours lost privileges and a bunch of extra chores… he’s still pretty begrudging and angry but realizes that I’m serious about being consistent. What is the best response for this kind of interaction: He’d earned …
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on September 12, 2020
Whole Call: https://s3.amazonaws.com/1-SupportCalls/2020/09September/TSG_SC_9-30-20_WholeEdited.mp3 Question: Hello Nicholeen, When my children are having trouble with friends, I often feel extremely stressed out that the problem be resolved. I then have trouble giving my child objective advice. I used to say negative things about the situation and make my child feel worse. Now my oldest is dating, and I noticed that my stress about things that bother my child is really too high. One example is if a date hasn’t called when expected and my child is worried that the person is going to “ghost” them. I would like to be the best person for them to come to for advice. How do I detach and be that person? Do you have any advice for how to handle this? Thank you. Answer: https://s3.amazonaws.com/1-SupportCalls/2020/09September/TSG_SC_9-30-20_Q1.mp3 I love that you are seeing that you are taking things too personally! That is really great assessment. It …
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on October 2, 2020
This Call Covers: Dealing with suicidal behaviors in children How to help children be calm in public places/situations Betime manipulation The consumerism parenting ideology, and how to avoid it Children manipulating parents Proper way to disagree appropriately
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on September 30, 2017
This Call Covers: How to help children “bust” their boredom Dealing with perfectionism Making a mission Statement Helping children to stop fighting with each other
Posted by Nicholeen Peck on September 22, 2017