In his book, “The Power of Positive Thinking,” Norman Vincent Peale shares a story of a pastor talking to a painter about worrying.“Howard, don’t you ever worry?” the pastor asked the painter.The painter laughed and said, “No, not on your life. I don’t believe in it.”The painter goes on to tell how he didn’t have time to worry and how he set aside one day a week to worry, pushing off all his daily concerns until that one day. But, after trying to worry on the designated day for all the things he’d pushed out of his mind throughout the week he couldn’t do it. He was a failure at worrying. The painter had already essentially trained himself not to worry.Whether knowingly or unknowingly, this painter had worked out a method, or skill set, for overcoming worry.Mr. Peale explained that, “people fail to overcome such troubles as worry because…they allow …

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Posted by Monica Pond on February 21, 2019

I instructed my daughter to sweep the floor. She said, “OK Mom, but I don’t know how.” This surprised me. She had seen me sweep the floor so many times, that I forgot she might not even know how to accomplish the task.So, I told her exactly how to do it. It’s needs to be the same when telling your child what to say.

Posted by Nicholeen Peck on May 25, 2008

When one of our foster daughters lived with us years ago, she did something that the others hadn’t done. She spent the first few weeks very intently watching me. She watched the way I kept house, the way I parented my children, the time I spent reading scriptures and good books, etc.

Posted by Nicholeen Peck on September 11, 2019

When I was a little girl, my brothers used to tease me. Every time I was teased or called names by them, I allowed myself to become emotional. One day when I was upset, my father said to me, “Nicholeen, if you don’t let the teasing work, then it won’t be fun for them and they’ll stop teasing. You have to choose not to give any of it your attention.” Eric Broaderick said, “That which we choose to give attention gains power.” This is so true. If we keep entertaining our stressful thoughts, then that stress overpowers us. If we entertain thoughts of gratitude, then we feel more connected to the people we are grateful for and find more happiness. Adults and children alike can find increased happiness if they realize what they focus on is up to them. During these times of uncertainty, we must not entertain thoughts of …

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Posted by Monica Pond on November 16, 2020

“I agree that there are definitely times I want my kids to tell me about what’s been happening, and you mentioned that you make sure your foster kids know the difference between the two–how do you that? Sometimes it’s really hard for ME to tell when it’s reporting, and when it’s tattling. Besides physically hurting one another, would you want your kids to report things like teasing, saying unkind things or rude words, not helping with a chore that everyone has been given to do together, or taking a toy from someone?”

Posted by Nicholeen Peck on April 21, 2008

Sacrifice is vital for happiness. Most people think the word “sacrifice” is bad and sounds like a hardship, not a joyful journey. Happiness sounds much better! But without giving up some of our indulgences, excuses and time wasters, it’s difficult to accomplish the things that bring the most happiness, like fulfilling our roles as parents and living the missions God has in store for us. What’s your mission? Do you feel called to, “Feed the hungry, clothe the naked, heal the sick, teach the ignorant, comfort the lonely, create beauty, liberate the captives, or preach the gospel”? (Oliver DeMille) These eight missions appear repeatedly throughout history as ways people change the world and others’ lives for good. Does one of these missions stand out to you? Did you know that being a parent covers all eight of these missions? What will we sacrifice to do our very best at our …

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Posted by Monica Pond on June 6, 2018

By Dr. Mark Wanstall Yes,The World’s Strictest Parents —from the production companyTwentytwenty, broadcast since 2007 on BBC3 — is another ‘reality TV’ programme. Yes it’s formulaic, possibly even exploitative of all involved; and the morality tale outcomes are nearly always simplistic and predictable. But there is aprofound truththat speaks to us — if we can focus on the bigger picture and just treat the inevitable pantomime set-piece clashes between spoilt UK brats and ‘strict’ and sometimes overzealous foreign parents as merely televisual entertainment. The truth contained withinThe World’s Strictest Parentsis that where parents are confident in their own moral compass and values, and where these parents are supported by a network of like-minded adults in a society that understands and takes seriously the role of adults in the socialization of the next generation, the relationships between parents and their children can be a lot more positive; and the children themselves …

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Posted by David Eggertsen on January 4, 2016

I recently asked a group of 10-year-old children what kinds of negative consequences their families have. “At our house, we sweep the floor and clean,” said one boy. “Mom gets mad and goes into a bad mood,” said another boy. “Mom used to send us to time out, but we don’t do that anymore,” said a thoughtful girl. I asked her what they do for negative consequences now. She thought for a minute and said, “I guess Mom just does whatever she can think of to control us. Sometimes we get soap in our mouths when we say bad words, sometimes she gets really grumpy and makes life hard for us, and sometimes she takes our stuff away,” she replied. Negative Consequences Shouldn’t Be Bad I then asked the children if they thought negative consequences are bad. Most of the children in the room said, “Yes” before the first little …

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Posted by Monica Pond on July 18, 2018

“You never can tell with bees,” said A.A. Milne’s cherished character Winne-the-Pooh. This was Pooh Bear’s naive way of saying he didn’t understand why bees did the things they did. He made his best guesses, but he always seemed to guess wrong and find himself in a prickled gorse bush — instead of feasting on fresh honey. As a beekeeper, I understand what part of getting honey Pooh never bothered to do: observe the actions of the bees and himself around the bees. When someone approaches the hive, a few guard bees automatically tip forward on their front legs, extending their stingers in the air. If the person coming toward the hive doesn’t retreat, then the bees start to fly at the person and push their stingers into the intruder. When bees sting, they die. Sir Francis Bacon said, “Men must not turn [into] bees.” When a person puts his …

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Posted by Monica Pond on March 1, 2018

“My 2yo has started crying a LOT the past few days. Over every little thing. Nothing is different physically or environmentally that I can tell. He already has his 2yo molars, too.. He’s just been crying about everything that he doesn’t like, with some pretty good tantrums thrown in the mix of the average crying. I tried holding him in timeout (he’s never stayed in time out on his own so far), but he screamed and threw a serious tantrum the whole time.. which wouldn’t be a problem for me except that I have to take care of the other kids, too! I tried holding him in our time-out spot until he was done with the tantrum so I could praise him for being happy, etc., but after 40 minutes of continuous screaming, my baby was also crying, needing to be fed, and the other young kids had destroyed the …

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Posted by Nicholeen Peck on December 30, 2009

When teaching and training children, many parents don’t often think about the heart and bond of the child, and how the child is processing what the parent does and says. Since children often misunderstand us and situations, then relationship disconnections occur. Parents are more dedicated to the spiritual, social, and academic success of their children than ever before. They get involved in coaching, carpools, and creating more opportunities for today’s youth than previous generations of parents did. Because of these great efforts, youth are getting better college entrance test scores, getting national awards and titles, and becoming entrepreneurs, all while also championing high morals and long term focus for their lives. With all this extra effort made on their behalf, why are so many youth and young adults feeling alone and like failures? What They See and Feel Today’s youth know their parents have made huge time, money, and heart …

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Posted by Richard Genck on May 18, 2020

I participate in a few discussion groups that have inspiring and thought-provoking conversations. I remember many years ago the topic on one of these groups was how much alone time parents need to be refreshed and ready to meet all the tasks on our daily lists.

Posted by Nicholeen Peck on July 18, 2018