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Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Home Culture, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

One of my passions is astronomy.  When I go out in my backyard and look through my telescope at my friends, the planets and stars, I feel so close to God.  Not because heaven is in space, but because it is so obvious there is organization in all things.  He is a God of order; with everything in it’s perfect place.  Everything has a purpose; a mission.  Since He is order in all we see it only makes sense that people should live by order too.  

Just like laws and principles govern the skies and the earth, there are laws meant to govern us as well.  That is why we have chosen to apply governing rules to our home too.  We feel like there is no better example of how to run a home than the way God runs our world; the current home for His family. 

Our family has a set structure.  We have certain meetings each week to strengthen the family relationships and keep the home in order.  The meetings we have are

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Making Toddler Store Time Happy

5 Comments / All, Using TSG Skills /
Mommy’s “Said Okay” Song 
 
   Have you ever been in the store and heard a small child ask their parent for a candy bar, or a toy?  Most resonable parents don’t go around buying everything their child asks for, so the parent usually says, “No, not today.”  For many children an answer like this causes crying, whinning, pouting, yelling and many other childhood outbursts. 
    My kind of parenting is called, Teaching Self-Government.  We focus on teaching our children how to control their emotional responses so that they can be more happy.  No one is happ

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Advice From the World’s Strictest Parent

Leave a Comment / All, Home Culture, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills /

“Hi Nicholeen, I hope you don’t mind me messaging you/adding you as a friend….I saw you recently on tv here in England, and as a mother of two I was so impressed and humbled by your patience and love. Nothing seemed to get you down. The love and respect your family have for each other was so apparent, and it did bring tears to my eyes. I would love to have that same patience, tolerance and sheer joy in my life that you do. I’d love to hear back from you, if you have the time, and if possible try and send me some of your calm and patience through the web!!”

 

     Thank you so much for your kind words. What age are your children? It is so good that you are trying to be the best mother you can be. There really is nothing more important for our world right now than parents raising good children who will fight for goodness in this confusing world. This is what I am doing at my house.

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Porter Peck Talks about James and Hannah

Leave a Comment / All, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills /

I transcribed this rememberance of our BBC “World’s Strictest Parents” experience straight from the mouth of my five year old son Porter…..The grammar is unedited on purpose.  This is how he speaks.  🙂

My name is Porter and I am five 5.  James and Hannah came to stay with us and they were nice to me.  I remember that they liked to swing on our swings.  When they left our house I cried a lot because I was sad that they were going.  They were having attitudes a lot of the time and they wanted to

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Nicholeen Tells more about World’s Strictest Parents

7 Comments / All, Relationships, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

“Dear Nicholeen: I watched the show and was so impressed by your calm and collected attitude. I loved it when your son said, “she’s trying to push my mom’s buttons, but it won’t work.” One of my biggest problems is I allow kids to push my buttons and engage me in non-productive discourse (getting off track of what we’re talking about). These get me so frustrated. I don’t know how you did it with James and Hannah. I admire your patience, love and skills.

Can you tell us any more about some of the experiences that happened that weren’t included in the final edit. I’m curious to learn more about it.”

This is a great comment.  Let me fill you in a bit on the whole situation my sweet, big talking 12 year old, was commenting on:

     James and Hannah were very used to running away if they didn’t get their way.  The reason people continue running is because it is a form of power struggle that usually works.  It stops

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“It’s Bedtime”

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Using TSG Skills /

Bedtime negative behaviors. my 5 year old just will not settle down. I get really frustrated with him. I don’t feel like I can do the rule of three or extra chores when he is supposed to be going to sleep, and if I tell him he has earned them for the morning, the consequence doesn’t seem real to him. My husband’s solution is to give him three warnings, and then spank him. I am beginning to hate bedtime.

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Stand For Something

1 Comment / All, Children (4-10), Home Culture, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

     One afternoon my children and I went on a walk to our local library.  The library is about one and a half miles from our home.  After a great time reading and exploring together in the library, we started our mile and a half walk home. 

     During the walk one of my small children mentioned he was hungry.  It was getting close to dinner time, and would still be a little while before we reached home.  When we were about a half way home we passed a home which had a large apple tree growing on the property.  The apples on the tree were perfectly ripe and large.  My son immediately notice

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Fathers figuring things out

3 Comments / All, Home Culture, Relationships, Using TSG Skills /

Recently I have had multiple people email with questions about their husbands.  It seems that some fathers are reluctant to make changes in their family culture and systems even when the rest of the family is already using the teaching-self-government system.  Even though I am speaking from a woman’s perspective today to women primarily, I have also had fathers email about their wives not wanting to change, so the topic is valid for both mothers and fathers.

     Why is it that one parent can be ready for change and another isn’t?  The answer to this question is probably individual in many

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Teaching How to Stop Teasing

Leave a Comment / All, Relationships, Using TSG Skills /

“Waaaaahaaaaa!” screamed Porter, my five year old, from the other side of the family room.  I looked over there just is time to see Paije, his much older sister, trying to pry one of her shoes from her little brother’s hands while keeping a close eye on the other shoe.  Before I could even get a word in, Paije had grabbed the first shoe away from her younger brother and no

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The Power to Change

Leave a Comment / All, Using TSG Skills /

Can one person change the world just by being herself? I think so. That is where the power in all of us lies; in the person we were meant to become. If we find this person, we will then find our power to change the world.

Live each day like it matters. Because it does. One action based on one thought is where the power to change the world lies. Touch people. Touch your children. Influence. That is why we are all here.

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Teaching Self Government requires Self Government

Leave a Comment / All, Relationships, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills /

        Another way I change my children’s hearts is to see what changes I have to make in myself.  If a relationship is suffering, it is usually a two person problem.  So, if I feel disconnected from my child, I take a good hard look at what I can do to change myself, motivate myself, and inspire myself.  In short, I try to see how I can live better so that I can inspire my child to live better.  In the past this has even required a new way of communicating to my family.  So far, this approach to changing hearts has been a big blessing for myself and my family. 

        If I am going to in

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Parenting On the Go ~Car and Store Struggles

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /
Hi, Nicholeen,
 
I have a quick question for you.  I’m struggling with what to do for discipline/consequences when we’re away from home.  (Specifically in the car or in a store.)   My kids tend to pick at each other, fight, kick, etc., in the car and to run away from me or do other annoying things (push the cart the wrong direction, touch things they shouldn’t, etc.) at the store.   The younger ones especially (age 2-4ish) don’t really care enough about what’s coming in the future for them to care if I give them a consequence that will be carried out

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It Changed My Life

2 Comments / All, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills /

I recently received a very inspiring email which answers the question “How will Teaching Self Government change my family?”   I love to see what Teaching Self Government looks like in other homes, so I thought you would enjoy it too.

TSG has change my life.  It has opened my eyes to the 4 basic communication skills.  It has given me hope that despite my upbringing, I can learn the skills to help me be a better parent and communicator with my children.  It helps me to pause when I’m really frustrated, to know what to say in any situation instead of constantly having to be creative

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Consequences

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Using TSG Skills /

My kids are really hard workers (At least I’ve taught them one thing right!) so they are not bothered at all by doing an extra job or even doing jobs for one hour or all day. It’s not their favorite thing to do but they will do it without complaining and then go right back to the same behavior that we were trying to fix. I know it sounds crazy but these are unusual kids I’m raising!

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