Conference Call 5-25-11
This call covers:
- Correcting children in public
- How to implement TSG with a large family
- Rule of three and losing playtime
Conference Call 5-25-11 Read More »
Skills
Conference Call 5-21-11
This call covers:
- Arbinger Institute: Leadership and Self-Deception
- Defining freedom and explaining that it has consequences
Conference Call 5-21-11 Read More »
Conference Call 4-29-11
Nicholeen shares two stories. One about Londyn and her mouth spreader and relates it to her friend learning about parenting and how to implement new skills. The second story is about her compost pile. She talks about vision, family relationships, the Hero Generation, preparing our families.
Questions:
- Is it okay for your family to meet at a spiritual place of worship in our family vision?
- My oldest child is 20 years old and no longer lives with us. How do I share our family vision with her? I have asked her to say daily and memorize it.
Conference Call 4-29-11 Read More »
Conference Call 4-22-11
Nicholeen shares 3 Tips.
Tip 1: Talks about how to help those who are feeling overwhelmed with life or feel anxiety about whether their communication is received properly. (This includes: mothering, parenting, homeschooling, etc.)
Tip 2: Talks about vision and how we achieve becoming who we want to be come or what mission we want to obtain.
Tip 3: Talks about capacity and how to get everything accomplished.
Questions:
- I’m having major issues with my 12 year old son. I don’t want to seem him, he is extremely out of control and acting like he is 7 years old. What do I do?
- Will I have access to this program and material after the initial 10-12 weeks? The support calls are monthly subscription to continue. But you will still have access to the information on the Implementation course. (Updated as of summer 2014)
- I’ve been struggling with our 20 year vision for our family since I first heard you talk. How do I make and achieve this?
- What does a Time-out look like for little children as compared to the Rule of 3?
- How is Teaching Self Government different from Love and Logic (giving choices)?
- My 3 year old threw a trantrum and I had to take him into the hallway and leave my other children inside by themselves, what do you recommend for this type of situation?
- I am struggling with distractions while trying to run the household and a homeschool. How do I know if am being successful?
- Nicholeen recommends balancing and prioritizing. Top 6 Priorities
Conference Call 4-22-11 Read More »
Conference Call 4-15-11
Nicholeen shares some stories about the importance of having a vision for you and your children. She is often contacted by individuals who have see in the BBC show. She tells about a girl who is lost and not sure what to do with her life and is considering apprenticing as a piercing person.
- What if your child (or teenager) doesn’t care about the family vision or says it is stupid? That’s what seems to be happening with one of our kids.Nicholeen shares 5 ideas about vision.
- I have a question about the content of vision. Would it be bad to make our family being in the rodeo as part of our vision?Or do I just change the vision if my children’s interests change.
- 7 year old not calm after rule of 3 and needs to be taken out of the room. I can’t take him due to back it sends me into panic mode. He doesn’t like to be taken there. But he is attention seeking with the tantrum. 5 second rule. Power struggle mode. Soft hold. Exception to rule. Be intuitive. Special moment, counseling session. I noticed good. I noticed every so often you arent happy. I decided in order to help you be happy to do a soft hold. You are in bondage to your emotions and I am going to free you.
- Help! I need advice as soon as possible. We just found out that our 17 year old has been drinking he was twice the legal limit and has been smoking 4 cigerettes per day. He needs to go to detox and a smoking cessation program. What do we do?
- My 17 year old daughter makes mountains out of mole holes in regards to computer time and her social life. She will get really upset. She’s is a really good girl and the extreme is that she recently started cutting herself. Part of it is my fault since we really don’t have a structure in place for.
Conference Call 4-15-11 Read More »
Conference Call 4-8-11
After her brother’s wedding Nicholeen shares a nugget of wisdom“Receiving your Spouse”. She discusses the importance of receiving and improving your relationship with your spouse, gives an assessment, and discusses the3 Types of Communication.
Questions:
- My husband thinks I am too much of a softy and that kids need more aggressive measures than just talking about it. So do I go his way or make him come my way?
- My children are 10, 12, and14 year olds but they act like 3 year olds. The feeling in the house is total contention there’s been fighting, squabbling, teasing, sibling rivalry, they are being destructive.My goal to stay calm. What do I do?
- Talking helps me understand my thoughts.What do I do when there is something I need to talk concerning my spouse? I know you mentioned that we shouldn’t talk behind our spouses back?
- We are trying to implement things in your book. I have older kids who don’t care for the changes. My husband says we need to get back to core and back to the relationships with them. How do you suggest we start implementing Self-Government?
Conference Call 4-8-11 Read More »
Conference Call 4-1-11
In this conference call:
- Original Implementation Course Information (Initial Launch)
- Expectations about Parenting – Exceed them!
- Weaknesses
- Goals
- Writing your story
- Using The 4 Keys to address an issue
- Time Out
- Emotional Children
- Recognizing Problems
- Rule of 3 with younger children/Loss of privileges
- 3 Year olds screaming all the time
- Dramatic ouchies
Conference Call 4-1-11 Read More »
Parenting Help: Don’t Do It For Them
How often do you pick up the slack for your children? Do you ask them to do a task and then later fix it or finish it for them? What do you do when you realize the task wasn’t done? Most parents just do it themselves with the attitude that if they want something done right, they have to do it themselves.
Parenting Help: Don’t Do It For Them Read More »
Parenting Adult Children ~Narcissism Personality Disorder
Nicholeen,
Do you have any hope (techniques we can use) forNarcissistto change? I am dealing with a 50 year old son who we have diagnosed (finally) and he is wearing us out emotionally and financially.
Thank you so much,
When I think about this situation I can’t help but ponder on the word “control.”He wants control of his life and is going about it all wrong…………you want to have more control, or influence, over him and he is not a child anymore, despite how he is acting, so you can’t have it by taking it. There is a principle I believe in…………..No one is able to really control anyone but herself.
However, this doesn’t mean that you can’t still have influence on your son. It just means that it is much more
Parenting Adult Children ~Narcissism Personality Disorder Read More »
Tips For Using Time-out With Toddlers
“My 2yo has started crying a LOT the past few days. Over every little thing. Nothing is different physically or environmentally that I can tell. He already has his 2yo molars, too.. He’s just been crying about everything that he doesn’t like, with some pretty good tantrums thrown in the mix of the average crying. I tried holding him in timeout (he’s never stayed in time out on his own so far), but he screamed and threw a serious tantrum the whole time.. which wouldn’t be a problem for me except that I have to take care of the other kids, too! I tried holding him in our time-out spot until he was done with the tantrum so I could praise him for being happy, etc., but after 40 minutes of continuous screaming, my baby was also crying, needing to be fed, and the other young kids had destroyed the basement. At that point I just took him to his bed to finish his crying fit. So I’m thinking the holding in time out option might not work for us. Yesterday and today I’ve started just taking him to his room when he starts having a breaking down crying fit. What would you suggest? Do you think I should just take him to his room every time he cries? Or should I try
Tips For Using Time-out With Toddlers Read More »
Is Giving Criticism Bad?
You use the word “criticism” often when you’re talking about corrective teaching…That word however, has a very negative connotation to me, and each time I hear you say it on your CD’s, I cringe inwardly… I listen to and read a lot of stuff on marriage and parenting, and the word “criticism” is always used as a negative term. It’s considered one of the 6 Love Busters in Harley’s book, Love Busters. John Gottman, in his books on marriage, includes it in “a set of particularly poisonous patterns of interaction [he calls] “the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” that can
Is Giving Criticism Bad? Read More »
Are Chores Instructions too?
I know you’ve written posts about chores before, but I can’t seem to find them on your website. So I’ll ask my questions, and maybe you can direct me to the proper posts if you’ve already answered them! Are the everyday chores that kids have a “standing instruction?” In other words, if they don’t do their chores or have to be reminded to do them, are they not following instructions, and would they start earning consequences?
Yes. Any responsibility your child has, such as a chore or school work, is an instruction. The term “standing instruction” is perfect fo
Are Chores Instructions too? Read More »
Dealing with Friends part 4
How do you help your children stand up for what’s right without being “preachy” or “goody-goody”?
The most importantskill you can teach your child is how to determine what is right and what is wrong and how to choose right and stay away from wrong. This is the whole reason children need parents. If my child can’t match his outfits, doesn’t know how to do mathematics well, never changes his bed sheets, ortalks with his mouth full, it doesn’t really matter at all if he has mastered how to discern between what is right and what is wrong and chooses to follow right.
Dealing with Friends part 4 Read More »
Using the Rule of Three
“Another question I had was, does the rule of 3 start over for each incident? Are the 3 consequences for staying out of instructional control as relating to the first incident? I just want to make sure I understand correctly. So if a child hits his brother, and gets out of instructional control and has the consequences for that earlier in the day, and then later disobeys about something different, the rule of 3 would start over for the later incident, correct? Consequences aren’t cumulative for different offenses, so that because the child got to SODAS with hitting his brothe
Using the Rule of Three Read More »
Cleaning a Bedroom
How do you find a good consequence for a thre-year-old who won’t participate in cleaning a shared bedroom? This mother explained to me of her struggle with this issue. This is the advice I gave her.
Cleaning a Bedroom Read More »
Should I Pre-teach EVERY instruction?
This mother’s son has a hard time following instructions if there isn’t a pre-teach before every instruction. Does she have to pre-teach beforeeveryinstruction?
Should I Pre-teach EVERY instruction? Read More »
Job Jar
Job jars are great, but what to put in them? How many chores can you really do around one house? Here’s a list of jobs you can use!
Strong Willed 3 Year Old
“I’m trying to figure out how to make this work for my 3 year old. He is very high spirited, very defiant and REALLY can’t take no for an answer. I struggle minute to minute with obedience and with whining and I worry that if I did things the same way I do them with my older children, only using time-outs, he would be in time-out constantly. Actually I don’t know if he would ever make it into time out if I waited for him to be calm first.
Strong Willed 3 Year Old Read More »
Using The Bedroom As A Consequence
How does 24 hours loss of privilegeswork in your house? Let’s say a13 year old boydoesn’t want to get on board. Buthe shouldn’t be allowed to just hole up in his room away from the rest of the family!However, I have foundthat sending him to sit on his bed is the most effective thingthat can be done.
Consequences are so individual. I don’t expe
Using The Bedroom As A Consequence Read More »
Time-Out Talk
I should have corrected him right there, but for some reason, I let him whine at me. It is always better to correct all negative behaviors as soon as possible.