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Lying

Support Call 9-02-16

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This call covers:

  • Twin 6-year-old boys who struggle with lying, cheating, and stealing.
  • New to the program and has a 10-year-old son who rages and gets angry.
  • Aged 2 son slaps, pinches, and rips. He’s a little bully.
  • Adopted daughter won’t open up about anything and phone is a constanct companion.
  • Entitlement confusion.

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Support Call 8-26-16

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This call covers:

  • Things not being in order and the tone not being right. Feeling overwhelmed and in chaos. Friend lets daughter run around naked and thinks it’s appropriate. Social modesty and modesty of the heart. And, about JK Rowling and channeling.
  • Son won’t give mother time of day. It’s like she’s not even there. How to fix that relationship.
  • What classics canchildren read beside JK Rowling books?

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Support Call 2-19-16

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This call covers:

  • Time flies as your children get older.
  • Teaching my children love instead of toleration.
  • It’s hard to stay consistent, but even more so with HF autism.
  • I know I need to connect with my children, but I don’t want to.
  • You have a section in your book that talks about telling your children about sex. Why are you not in favor of sex ed in schools?

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Support Call 6-5-15

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This call covers:

  • “McFarland USA” and character and strength.
  • I need ideas for what to do in the summer months when it’s too hot to go outside to play (AZ).Also, my 11 year-old son is constantly reading and avoiding people and social situations, just like his dad. He has no friends and he reads things that aren’t necessarily of use. What do I do?
  • I’ve found out that my 9 year-old son has been swearing at school, but when I ask him if he has, he denies it strongly. How do I help him see that this is wrong?
  • I’m trying to help my 5 year-old son understand natural and synthetic consequences and roles.
  • I’m having a hard time finding the right medication for my 7 year-old ADHD daughter. What she’s on now seems to be helping at school, but not at home. Suggestions?

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Support Call 1-31-2014

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Friday’s call was short but sweet. We had some really good questions:

  • My daughter lies about so many things, and she seems to only care about being caught. The mess in her room is often up to our knees – she has hoarder tendencies – and I don’t know how to help her over that.
  • My oldest son is 17 and a senior in high school this year. My husband and I are concerned about his lack of gratitude and appreciation for things we do for him.
  • We struggle with dinner time rules and etiquette. Any thoughts?
  • When someone is out of control, and we’ve done the Rule of Three, is it okay to let them read a book?

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Support Call 1-24-14

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Friday’s call was full of so many good questions! Here they are:

  • If someone walks away during the Rule of Three, do they immediately earn a total loss of all priviledges?
  • My son has ADHD and I have a light case of ADD. He doesn’t know he has it yet, but I’m hesitant to tell him. He gets angry easily and doesn’t like the Rule of Three. Is it okay to give him time to calm down before starting the Rule of Three?
  • What is it with 11-year-olds? They seem to be the focus of a lot of the questions. I have an 11-year-old and I need to know what to do besides accept hard knocks. What would would you suggest?
  • I want to have a Mentor Session with my ADHD son, but my husband thinks it wouldn’t go well. How would I run the Mentor Session and should I have one?
  • My daughter stole out from midnight until two. Therefore, I didn’t let her go to a dance the next night. She was given an iPod and she has now bought herself one as well. She has accounts on it that are not good and she didn’t receive permission for those or the iPod itself. I’ve thought of multiple consequences for this. I’m usually fine if she tells me, on her own, that she’s made a mistake. But if I find out on my own, it bugs me a lot. What should I do?
  • My 4-year-old son lost his movie priviledge and doesn’t care that it’s gone. I wasn’t quite sure what to do. If I took him to Time Out, is it okay to hold him there?
  • My son is often out of instructional control. When he is, he thinks he can do whatever he wants. He’s gone for 9 days of being out of control before. He teases his siblings and likes “talk time” because that is his love language. How would you recommend I handle this?
  • How do I bring together my job and my mission?
  • What can I do to teach my 14-year-old daughter and myself social skills? Also, others are judging my decisions for schooling.

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Support Call 1-10-2014

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Yesterday’s call was full of insight! I think the questions that were asked opened everyone’s understanding just a little bit more. These are the questions we had:

  • I have a 11-year-old son who makes his sister the enemy. We have tried many things. What more can we do?
  • My daughter is almost 16 and she is not obeying our family rules when it comes to electronics. She is sneaking them around, she is hiding them from me, and her friends are sending her devices. It feels like she is so desperate to reach out to her friends that she’s lying and sneaking, when all she needs to do is be honest and upfront. What would you recommend?
  • We had an issue where Grandpa went against my wishes. He came to take my daughter to babysit her and I told him “No candy.” On the way back to his home, he bought her an ice cream cone, saying it was “sweets,” not candy.Should I not even send her to Grandma and Grandpa’s house? Please talk about to what extent “my being there” is necessary and how you make judgment calls.
  • My 4-year-old son speaks really loudly. It’s a problem because he wakes his two-year-old sister in the morning. While I shower every morning, he and my husband watch a movie (or two). I think he is getting too addicted to media. My husband doesn’t agree. What do you recommend?

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Girl stealing cookie

Certain Consequences For Certain Behaviors

2 Comments / All, Home Culture, Using TSG Skills /

A blog reader wrote:

1 – We don’t have a “rule” or certain consequence set up for every behavior in the book (nor do we want so many specific rules!) So, I’m wondering if “just-plain-not-doing-what-you-know-you-should” (be kind, be respectful, be responsible, be honest, don’t hit, tease, talk back, etc.) would be considered “not following instructions”, and would it then be followed up with the usual – an extra job, followed by SODAS, then major maintenance, and 24 hours without privileges…? Or is it better to assign certain consequences to certain behaviors?

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