I am pretty sure that just putting the word sex in the title of a blog post will make my blog not show up on a lot of your computers. If so, that is good. That means you have a good filter and are trying to keep the children protected from the conspirators in our world who want to enslave us all by destroying all the virtuous thoughts we normally have regarding the opposite gender and the act of marriage.
Recently I was asked:
I am so impressed by the beautiful work you do as a mother and as an incredible example to families all over the world. Thank you for the work you do! I know you're probably crazy busy, but I would really love to learn more about how you present sex education to your children. I just read a crazy disturbing article about what's being taught in schools, and I want to be sure our children are taught about abstinence and the spiritual significance of the sex ordinance within marriage and the sacred nature of heterosexuality and well as the scientific aspects. It's wild what teachers think is appropriate to teach Kindergartners and I'm doing research to make sure we're hitting the right mark. If you could share your thoughts or send me to a link where you may have already addressed this, that would be awesome. Thanks to you and your sweet family!
You ask a great question. The topic of sexuality is a must for parents living in these times. My views are
"I came across your ideas on the LDSEHE website, and have been so inspired by all of it. I'm starting to read your book, hoping to fill in a few holes. I really like your idea for Friday family movie nights as your one source of TV. How do you make selections for that night? Do you have a list of movies you would recommend?"
You are right. We have a family TV watching policy to help our family not get bound by television. Our policy is that we don't watch TV unless it is a movie on Friday family movie night.
The opposite of calm is hurry. If you feel like you have to hurry all the time, then you will never be calm. Also, if you feel like you have to hurry through your teaching interactions with your children then you will also have a harder time staying calm. Don't let your desire for being efficient ruin your ability to be calm. The great philosopher William Jordan said:
The first sermon in the world was preached at the Creation. It was a
Divine protest against Hurry. It was a Divine object lesson of perfect
law, perfect plan, perfect order, perfect method. Six days of work
carefully planned, scheduled and completed were followed by,--rest.
"I have a 5 year old son that is in kindergarten. He loves school because of all his friends there... Unfortunately with school I see him still coming home with some bad habits that we must work to break. I think his teacher is great but with all the kids in the class she can't be expected to enforce/reward self-government principles. My concern is that he is getting confused with discipline at home and less discipline at school. How do you address this issue with your kids?"
It is hard to have a child come home from school with behaviors you need to break all the time.
Thank you so much for your teaching this subject! I purchased the CDs about two months ago when I heard about them through the LEMI mentors association, listened to them, took lots of notes, and put it into action at a family meeting about 3 weeks ago.
"My question, as it relates to the above entries and to my four year old is what to do when he will not stay in time-out (on our washer)? He will not stay there. He runs after me, screaming. I put him back - try hard to do it calmly and sometimes I have tried to keep him there using my hands to keep his legs on the washer, but then I feel like I am forcing him and it all goes down hill from there."
I wrote an answer to a similar question over a year ago. It is called "Tantrums, Time-out and Tired Moms." The article should answer most of your questions. It is alright to do a soft hold with a child to help him learn to want to stay on time-out himself to calm down, but you are right about it being a sort of "force."
My friend Jason Alba sent me this link to a great article about inspiring self-government in people in your community or sphere of influence.
"...I hope you will discipline yourselves and your fellow students. This request is in keeping with my commitment to self-government for students. It should not be up to me to enforce proper behavior that signifies the intelligence of Duke students. You should do it. Reprove those who make us all look bad. Shape up your own language..." -Duke President Terry Sanford
The whole thing is really worth reading. I hope you take the chance.
Coach Sanford did some great things here. He
"The biggest struggle we have with my son is that he wants to be the parent - he wants to be in control, not necessarily of my husband and I, but of the rest of the kids (he's #2 of 5). For instance, this morning he made himself a "dessert sandwich" (he just made this up, bread with butter and cinnamon on it) before breakfast, but got mad and yelled at our 2 year old for getting into the fridge to get an apple while he still had the sandwich in his hand. Even me standing there saying "It's okay, she can have the apple" didn't calm things right away. ALL THE TIME he gets after his siblings for things he sees as wrong, but he himself can do no wrong, even if he's doing the same things they are."
I love how at the beginning of this question you say that your son thinks he's the parent and then at the end you say that he can do no wrong even though he is doing the same thing. These two statements together in the same paragraph make me smile because that is just what most parents really do. They get after the children for doing what they, the parents, are doing all the time too. These parents for some reason feel like if they don't have to look at their short comings in their children then the short comings aren't really there and don't need to be addressed.
I will never forget
I’ve got “bubblegum pink” paint all over the carpet (and some furniture) right now that should NOT be there, and I have yelled and got angry at 3 of the 9 kids one who is under 24 hr priviledge loss but didn’t have anything to do with it, and I came in to my computer to take a breather and look what I found in my inbox! I was already feeling bad, and your article is the big dose of truth I need, but how do you turn it around when you’ve really blown it? Do I just bounce in with my new perspective, apologize and ask for forgiveness? Did this happen to you in the beginning? Thanks and God bless with your health issues.
OH....................That is frustrating for sure. I feel your pain, and your frustration. I have to say, I have never had that one happen before. But, I have had my share of paint spills, gum on the carpet, bubble spills, and marker on the walls. Some children are just naturally more curious than others aren't they? My children have never been too curious, but they have had friends over the years who have been and have started creative play in motion.
To answer you question,
One of Those Days
Have you ever had one of those days where you go, go, go? On these days there are lots of places to get to, you are always running late and your children seem to be grumpy, whiny, and aggressive. You don't know if you'll ever master getting out the door with a smile on your face and everyone in a good mood.
At the ends of days like these we plop on the couch grateful that there is finally quiet in the house and still some chocolate ice cream in the freezer. We hope the children will give us at least two hours of good sleep and that we might be able to actually check something off or our to-do list before we get to 'turn in.' These are the days we can't wait to finish.
I have felt those days too.