Time for Mom & Toddlers who won’t rest

Thereare some great questionsin some of the recent comments.

"…Most women I know are neglecting taking care of themselves on some level (physical or spiritual) to take care of their families or other obligations. Personally, I have been struggling lately to try to find some time for myself on a daily basis for things like scripture-reading, exercise, personal study time, and maybe a nap (I’m pregnant and tired!). Do you have any routines in place with your family that allow you time to do these kinds of things daily without feeling like you are neglecting your children or husband?"

On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I wake up at 5:00 am and go to the city swimming pool to teach water-aerobics. After class, I shower, and get ready for the day at the pool. The time is then 7:30. At this point I go out to the car to study or write lectures etc for one hour. At 8:30 I go to the store for anything I might need and then get home by 9:00. At 9:00 am I start my day with the children. We have devotional time and breakfast etc.

All of this only works perfectly if my husband gets the children up and gets them working on chores, rooms, showers, pets, music time etc while I am gone. A lot is riding on him. He knows that if all this happens, I am a happy mommy and wife, so he tries really hard.

It is also helpful that I have two older children, who know what needs to be done and how to get it all done, in case Dad has to leave for work early etc.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I like to sleep in until 7:00 or 7:30. On these days I wake the older two children up. They start on their morning routines, while I shower, and study for a little while. At 8:30 we wake up the younger children, so that they can do their chores before our family devotional starts. On these days, I exercise with the children before lunch. We go for bike rides, or jogging, etc.

I used tostill wake up at 5:00 on these days and just treadmill and then study, but realized that I wasn't able to alwaysgo to bed early enough to maintain good health, so I needed to sleep in 2 days per week. I also wanted to inspire my children to excercise more.

This is all the ideal. There are some days that don't work. On those days I snatch what time I can in the afternoon and before bed.

This is what I do. Maybe it will give you some new ideas of ways to juggle your time.

Next question:

"…Do you have any suggestions on how to deal with newly 2 year olds who are trying to give up their naps, won’t go to sleep at night (& keeping her siblings awake with her noise), and then get up early (waking her siblings up), thus making them all whiny all day? I can’t force her to sleep, even if I make the conditions ideal for it… Help?"

It would be helpful to know if this child has their own room or not, and if they know how to follow instructions yet. Since I don't know this information, I will assume they do. Note* If the child is older and won't go to bed, then they are not following instructions and need to earn negative consequences.

Atsleeping time, I used to tell my children that they didn't have to go to sleep, but they did need to stay in their beds. I gave them a stack of books to look at in bed. Then I told them that I would come and get them when it was time to get out of their bed forsleep time or quiet time.

At a time when it wasn't time to sleep, I pre-taught them the way they should act duringsleep time, especially talking about voice tone. We would practice and then I would tell them that if they chose to stay in bed when it was time, then I would let them keep their door open, as well as give them big hugs and high fives after sleep time was over. I would praise them like this, "You are so good at going to bed! You know how to get in your bed and stay there! Now you are like the big people. You are growing bigger every day!" Followed by the big hug and high five, etc. Tell them that they have mastered the skill, and they will more likely decide to "own" that they have mastered it.

Then I explained that if they chose not to stay in bed, or chose to make noises and wake up other people then I would have to close the door of their room. My children like to sleep with the door open, so this was a huge motivation for them to observe the quiet time rules.

This consequence only works if the toddler has his own room and knows how to follow instructions. If he doesn't know how to follow instructions yet, then you will want to have practice bed time games and use praise to show them how to follow this instruction.

In your situation, as part of this play I would also teach my child to come and wake me up, or find me, as soon as they get up, so that they don't wake up the other children. If you are up with them, then they won't feel the need to go get someone else up. The reason they wake the other children up is because they want company. You be the company, then you will be able to keep the other children asleep. Teaching this only works if you actually get up with them. If you brush them off because you are tired, then they will most likely go wake up the other children. If your child really is waking up too early, then that might be a sign that they are ready to stop naps in the day. This could help with the sleep time length at night. Some of my children gave up naps that young too. 🙂 If you still need a break in the day, then just have a mandatory reading time. If you practice, you should be able to get your child to stay in a room for 30 minutes looking at a pile of books. The only problem with this, is that if you child does fall asleep and shouldn't so that she won't wake up so early in the morning.

Itwill all take some analyzing, to figure out what will really benefit the family the most.

Children who wake up early make a situation where bed time must be strictly observed. I have found that if we go to bed on time, then everything works out great the next day. And, if we don't make it to bed on time, then we are choosing for the next day to go bad.