Loving Life and Seeing Good Days Despite Disappointment

by Nicholeen Peck

Four years ago, I wrote an article about having calmness during the election no matter what the outcome was. It was my intention to help people to choose calmness and see each other as people instead of opposition, even if they saw things differently politically. The surprising result of that article was that 140 of my parenting posts on my social media accounts were cancelled. Four years ago, there was great division. Tension over the election ran so high that even social media companies were part of the battle. With a new presidential election upon the United States this year, where are the hearts of the people? Is hostility greater or less than four years ago? Do people see through a lens of war or a lens of self-government?

There are so many factors for why emotions and anxieties always run higher during big elections. This article will not discuss concerns or political points of view which often lead to social division. Instead, for perspective and personal planning, it is more helpful to understand what it really means to be a self-governing nation and how to live that principle daily. The principle of self-government sets all people free even if they feel the world around them is falling apart. When we focus more on our emotions and anxieties, it can be easy to find ourselves in bondage to those emotions instead of feeling the relief of the freedom we are fighting to protect.

Self-government is being able to determine the cause and effect of any given situation and possessing a knowledge of your own behaviors, so that you can control them.

I am the type of person who regularly stands for principles and tries to calmly solve social problems. And, over the years, I have figured out how to solve problems and maintain hope, love and still have good days despite disappointments that inevitably come in politics and through policy debates. Choosing to love life and to see good days despite disappointment is a powerful and liberating choice. Prepare now to avoid war and contention with people you love by seeing the good.

Seeing

Leonardo DaVinci said that “There are three classes of people, those who see, those see when they are shown, and those who do not see.” The Bible says that there is “what is seen and what is not seen” and that what is seen is temporal and what is not seen is eternal. (2 Cor. 4:18) Clearly, there are many ways to see, and we all see things differently. However, from these words of wisdom it seems that there are ways of seeing that are more desirable and productive than others. Seeing is a choice. There are many who don’t want the burden or duty that comes with seeing what is not easily seen. It is enticing to see only what we want to see.

Seeing what we want to see, but ignoring or rejecting inconvenient truths, is possible on all sides of debates. In fact, debates often lead to close-mindedness, even if someone is actually right. No place on the political spectrum is safe from political and ideological myopia and contentious feelings or actions toward others. Even though we must stand for what we believe in and use our liberties to exercise our free speech, we don’t really help national unity or our cause and colleagues if we approach our debates with a heart full of anger and war. Similarly, a parent will never inspire a change of heart in their child if they are not calm or are power struggling with the child.

For over 13 years, I’ve done advocacy work to protect children from exploitation and to stand for faith, family, and sovereignty. I have seen what works and what doesn’t work to change minds and hearts. To see clearly while standing strong I suggest the following:

• Value truth more than being right or getting attention.
• Be open to criticism and correction, even offering feedback to yourself. This is called humility and self-government.
• Turn away from anger and all evil. This means not speaking evil of others, even if it is true.
• Seek peace and follow it eagerly. This doesn’t mean compromising your principles. It means looking at those you oppose with love and understanding despite your disagreements.
• Be not afraid or troubled. No matter if you win or lose a social or political battle, the goodness you are promoting and the condition of your heart is what matters most. The rest will sort itself out. We don’t get to have control of our environment. Instead, we get to have control of ourselves and our behaviors. That is the root of self-government.
• Stay calm, even when others are not. Real calmness means thinking clearly and speaking kindly despite the storm and the battle being waged against you.
• Pray for what to say and when to say and what not to say. Pray for it all. If your will follows His will, then you can confidently take your stand with love and calmness and see the good in your actions and thoughts even if you lose a battle.
• Trust, don’t force. All people can learn. Never forget that truth speaks to the heart no matter what side of a debate a person is on. Allow the truth to do its job. This can take time, but it happens. I’ve seen miracles happen when I don’t force my stand on others. Hearts can and do change. Also, trust in a power higher than yourself to change the hearts. Our job is to be the instruments for God. It is His job to change the hearts.
• Rejoice! Praise and speak goodness to everyone of everyone. Even find the good in your enemies. To have good days a person must seek out the good and bring it into the light. Every day has some goodness. We must find it and hold on to it to prepare us to weather many more disappoints ahead.
• Do good. The old English root of the word good is God. To do good is to do as God would do. Have charity and see the good in others too. Even if you think that they are purely evil, that person probably still has potential and a spark of light and goodness if you look for it. If you find that spark and can touch it, then you can help that person see more light and have a change of heart. But, an angry, contentious person doesn’t reach those deep sparks inside of others.

Contention is a sign of power struggle and selfishness. It isn’t necessary to be contentious when we disagree. More problems get solved when people are respected and reached out to instead of the opposite: judged and isolated.

Four years ago, a member of congress had to advocate for me not to be canceled on social media. It was partially effective. My posts returned, but my abilities on social media have never really been the same since.  Sometimes life hands us unjust “no” answers like this. Yet, the light still shines and the days are good for me because the work to help families is so rewarding and truly never done. And, other windows opened when that one door closed on me.

This election season, don’t cancel people no matter if you are on the left, right or right in the middle of things politically. Refrain from thinking all or nothing thoughts about candidates and politics. Cease to have war and connection with each other. Love more. Show that person that disagrees with you, that there is more to you than meets the eye; your heart is big and loving no matter what the outcome of debates is.

If we focus on His will and His way and His timing in all things, then we can weather any social or political storm with peace, hope and the strength that comes when we know that we are deliberately governing ourselves.

Join Nicholeen for 5 Steps For a Change of Heart 3 hour training live online on November 9th. See details here.