Comment on chores…
Thank you–this was very helpful! One more question. . .On the specifics, like letting the children know chores are a “standing instruction”, the children having to make up the time if you do the chore for them, the time period allowed for chores to be done, or the 30 minutes for a dishonest chore, how did you determine these and then teach/tell your children about what would happen? Was it something addressed in a family meeting, or how did you handle that?
All of these things were policies we came up with as a family in family meetings accept for the 30 minutes of work time for dishonesty. One of my children went through a time when lyingandtrying to skip out on chores etc was becoming a problem. I pulled this child aside and had a counseling session. In this counseling session we discussed the honesty problem and both brain-stormed possitive and negative consequence ideas which would motivate my child to master this honesty problem.
We decided that every time my child lied or did dishonest chores, 30 minutes of work time would be earned. This consequence worked so well for this child that we announced to the children that this rule would now apply to everyone for any honesty issues. Needless to say, as long as we are being consistent about following through with this consequence for dishonest behavior, we hardly ever have cause to use it. The children have decided that no lie for laziness or to get their way is worth 30 minutes of work time.
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