Changing Parenting Styles ~The Honeymoon

…We just started this approach to parenting a few weeks ago, and while the first couple of weeks went well because the kids all loved the praise and even the novelty of picking jobs out of a jar, we’ve hit this bump where most are dawdling, and adding another chore that just doesn’t get done doesn’t seem effective so we’ve started losing privileges for unfinished work. Granted, they are ages 8 and under, and perhaps I need to keep teaching the jobs rather than assume they know since I taught them once or twice. Thanks so much for sharing, both of you! I’m learning so much!

Keep up the good work! You went through your honeymoon stage and now you have hit the part where the children are hoping you will lose your consistency. They are testing to see if you are really going to stick to your new family government system. Keep talking about your vision and Stay consistent.

I have found that dawdling only continues to be a problem if the parents get lax in making sure all the steps to following instructions happens. Be sure to stay consistent. If they don’t do it immediately or ask to disagree appropriately then they are not following instructions.And, if they don’t check back they aren’t either.

Also, make sure to praise for all instructions followed. Praise encourages everyone to remember the chores. Also, keep in mind that the main reason children don’t follow through is because of anxiety about how long the chore could take. Sometimes do timed chores. Say, okay we have five minutes to do this, then praise getting it done on time, and assure them that they don’t ever need to take a long time on that particular chore again. Help them decrease anxiety.

Best Wishes!