Appropriate Touch

“You mentioned you have touching rules for friends, family, and neighbors–do you mind sharing them?”

Hugs are OK for aunts, uncles, grandmas, grandpas, moms, dads, brothers and sisters. Kisses on cheeks or forheads are also OK from this group. Moms and Dads can kiss on lips, no one else. Usually this one only applies to toddlers who like to give lip kisses. Side hugs are OK for this group of people plus cousins, friends, teachers etc.

Lap sitting is only OK for the group above unless the child is a baby or toddler, in which case others can hold them too.

The game Doctor or any such game is to be played only on stuffed animals or baby dolls, not other people. Back rubs, or massages are also only given to the first group of people listed.

Hand shakes, shoulder touches, or high fives are good for all groups of people.

To keep everyone comfortable, we have also told our children not to over touch people. We have one child who has touch as their love language and so we have had to help him see that not everyone wants to be touched. Some people hate to be touched. It is best not to over touch.

Concerning hugs. I think that it is a good idea to tell children that if I see a friend I haven’t seen for a long time, or say good bye to someone I havea friendship with, I will probably hug them. This is normal adult behavior. If children are giving hugs in a similar manner when other people are around, then these kinds of hugs are OK too.

No one is allowed to touch above the knee or below the shoulders on anyone else. Tickling should only be for the first group mentioned above. No touching should ever happen under clothes unless Mom and Dad are aware of it. Touching hair and arms is OK.

These are the Peck Family’s touching rules. Each individual family may need something different.