July 31, 2008

Fights? continued

“…so in the course of asking from youngest to oldest their account of what happened, do their accounts factor in the consequences they receive?  Because all of them are disrupting the family feeling and not communicating well with each other, so because of that they earn a consequence.  But what if one was more a victim and one was more of a perpetrator (based on what you can deduct from their stories)?  I guess I am wondering if there is a purpose to hearing their stories other than letting them feel heard and calm down, or if the content of their stories re

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Fights?

“When your kids are fighting, do you try to instruct them in the middle of that?  I often try to intervene but maybe too often – they don’t seem to be learning to problem solve with each-other rather than tattling and trying to get Mom to settle things in their favor.  I honestly don’t know what would happen if I let my kids continue to fight until it blows over or comes to blows, I usually step in and separate them before I can see how they would solve the problem.  I know they are generally out of instructional control when they are fighting, so anything I tell them at that poi

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