Teaching Children Respect: 2 Videos of Disagreeing Appropriately

These videos of two cute children were sent to me by another amazing parent who has taught her children to love practicing good behaviors.  The more children practice the right way, the more the right way will happen when it isn't practice time.  The second video is of a girl who used to have major tantrums all the time.

Smart Five Year Old!  And, cute Tiger!!!

Wow!  What a cutie!  Four years old!!!


The only part these two cuties could improve on is when they say they understand the other person.  Their disagreements show they do, but as they get older they will want to incorporate seeking to understand the person they are talking to.  Beyond that small detail, these children are the disagree appropriately poster children.

To read more about disagreeing appropriately go to http://www.meridianmagazine.com/article/6617?ac=1 

This is a messsge written by Michael and Emma's mom and dad:

My husband and I have attended Nicholeen's parenting seminar twice, and we have read her book. We have employed many of the principles and practices she discusses therein, including the 4 Basic Skills.  This has made a huge impact in our home. Our children are ages 4 and 5. They know how to follow instructions, how to speak respectfully, how to accept a no answer and how to disagree appropriately. We had a big problem with our daughter and temper tantrums. We're talking full-blown 90 minute doozeys. We continued reinforcing the basic skills we had already taught her. It took time, but she eventually realized she didn't get her way when she melted down. She did, however, sometimes get what she wanted by disagreeing appropriately. We tried to reward this proactive behavior by saying yes as often as possible when she employed "disagreeing appropriately." It has greatly helped the atmosphere in our home. There is no more negotiating, power struggles, yelling, crying, etc. It's WONDERFUL!  I recommend that every parent learn what these principles are and work to implement them in their homes.


deggertsen's picture

I'd love to see a video of that taking place live. I am excited for my kids to disagree appropriately when they are old enough to talk! What a great teaching opportunity! This little girl is a great example!

Anonymous's picture

I've read your book, have made notecards of the four basic skills etc. I've been calmer, my 7 yo son has been calmer and better behaved. Your ideas have helped us a lot. I'm a fan! :)

My 4 yo daughter has caught on to the routine of how she can disagree appropriately when given an instruction, etc., but she seems really confused and frustrated by the fact that she doesn't always get her way when she does this. The idea that she may or may not get what she asks for when she dis. app. seems to genuinely confuse her. I want to teach her it works and let her have what she asks for but so often in our real daily life, what she is asking for it not available. The routine with the dis. app. isn't working for her. . . My 7 yo understands and only dis. app. when he actually has a point to make and understands that still he may or may not get his way. How do I teach this to my 4 yo? or modify the program for her?

Thank you!

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