Support Call Archive
In this call, there some wonderful questions ranging from trouble with spouses and teaching toddlers boundaries to proper roles. It helped those on the call to understand more about their situations and how to fix them. Hopefully you will understand more fully when you listen to the call too!
Here are the questions:
- Why do roles matter and how can roles be reinforced?
- How do we use TSG with our 2 year old when he hits or bites his siblings?
- How can you possibly have the energy and time to do all 8 steps in the correction that you mention in your course?
- How can I make my spouse my top priority? I'm still struggling with nagging and threatening. What am I missing? Also, you mentioned Emotional Vomiting and that it is an "Animal Instinct" to have emotions, but also to want to have control. Can you explain more please?
This call had questions about teens and toddlers, and even how to find certain things on the Teaching Self-Government website.
Here are the questions:
- I have 7 children with the last three being adopted from a fostering situation. My husband is in the military and deployed often, leaving me the sole parent. I know the problems with my kids are because of me. I'm a “smoother-over” trying so hard to make everyone happy that now I have kids that walk all over me and are disrespectful. My husband has got reassigned and we will be moving the Alaska in June. I'm begging you for some help as I'm not sure I can make it through another deployment without a strong plan and tolls for my parenting.
- My 14 year-old daughter has been in a group home for about 4 months for her stealing and violent behavior towards me. She's starting to be able to come home on the weekends. The first weekend in April she was home for the two days and on Monday her older sister came to me to tell me she was missing $70.00... My feeling is that until the money is returned/found she shouldn't be able to come home. What are your thoughts?
- Do you ever allow natural consequences to be the consequence or do you always follow through immediately with a job consequence?
- I absolutely love the Implementation Course. I have difficulty, however, finding some specific lessons. Is there a simple way to find specific classes/lessons?
- How do I do relationships TSG Style?Meetings?How do I show love in healthy bonding ways? What about beating co-dependency?
This call went great. It was a little shorter than usual because I'm leaving for Las Vegas today. We had some good questions though.
They are these:
- 1st: Not finished with major maintenance chore and SODAS during 24 hours. What happens then? 2nd: What to do on low energy days when it's so difficult to catch and do corrections? 3rd: Rule of Three question - Where to start if child hasn't completed first consequence, yet seems to be out-of-instructional-control? 4th: Damage to sibling's journal or other handmade item. What do I do exactly? 5th: Physical meanness/violence and siblings trying to enforce parents' instructions(instead of letting the parents be the parents)
- My four year old frequently breaks down crying when his feelings get hurt. I struggle with knowing whether or not to hug him back with compassion or calmly request that he talk to me calmly when he comes to me crying. His sisteroften will not share her things with him. I tell him that if she doesn't share with him, it's like getting a no answer and he can disagree appropriately with her. I am not sure if I should instruct her to share them. Please help!
- My 2 yr old daughter is having trouble sleeping and staying in her bed at night. So is there anything more to it than continually putting her back in her bed and both parents being consistent? Thoughts? THANK YOU!
- Sometimes it's just so hard to “stay strong,” like you said before. A few nights ago, my kids were stressing me out. It was bedtime and I didn't feel like handling it. So, I just went to bed and told them to put themselves to bed. What should I do instead?
This call was longer than usual, but so very good. The questions were about many different aged children and stages of Teaching Self-Government.
These were the questions:
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How about a spouse? How do I communicate with my husband constructively?
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We were at the dinner table and someone was picked to say the prayer. My four-year-old son wanted to be picked and threw a major fit during the prayer. He has a very hard time accepting "no" answers.Once Isitting at time out with him for about 10 minutes, prepared to wait it out no matter how long it took. My husband came in and tag teamed me out so I could go eat my dinner. About five minutes later, my husband and son were talking and laughing and he was coming calmly to the kitchen table. I asked my husband how he did it. He said he distracted him. I know my husband didn't role play with him, how to accept a "No" answer regarding to saying prayers- but he did get him back to the table calmly.Where are we going wrong? How can we get him to stay on time out on his own?
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My 11 year old son did a few SODAS the other day. For one of his options he put "eat tofu." In my head I was half way laughing. I smiled and said "very funny son" and then had him briefly verbalize a better option with disadvantages and advantages. Do you think I should been more serious with him? Should I have insisted that he re-write the SODAS?
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What do you do when a child is buckled in a seat belt and she continues to scream and scream and she doesn't care that she isn't calm? Also, my sonis upset because we told him we wouldn't "ground him" as he had seen other kids have happen. Anyway, he feels like we lied to him because he feels like the loss of privileges is like grounding.Any suggestions on how to help him see that we didn't lie to him or betray him? And, one family I know gives their kids what they would spend each month on the child for clothes, etc. This is not based on earning for chores --? What do you think about that? One more question. We have talked in the past about something similar to the idea of a family phone since none of our kids have phones. Could you give me any advice on this?
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I have been working with my children on accepting an instruction correctly but my 10 year old son with ADHD just escalates and will scream that he needs to calm down alone and to leave him alone. Should I allow him a few minutes to get calm on his own and then talk to him?
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My question is concerning my 21-year-old son. Before his mission he conquered an addiction, served his mission, and he recently returned from his mission and immediately started a demanding job with irregular hours. However, I see him slipping into an addiction ofonline gaming. How do I let him know I can SEE his addictions, and I want to help him? I want to implement all the principles of TSG with him - Just not sure how to approach it with an 'adult' child.
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I am struggling to make our teaching/practice moments positive experiences for our family. I wondered if some fun games (either role playing or other ) would help. In your videos you played “tug of war” and “raccoon circles” to help teach family unity. Do you have other games you play to help teach self government principles to children/youth?
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My 8-year-old daughter is a little too controlling and steps in to correct her friends and siblings even when it is unnecessary. Can you help me with some exact word choices on what to say to her when she is acting controlling or condescending with others?
We had some questions concerning spouse relationships and teen behaviors. The call was very good and it clarified what should be done and what not to do in these situations.
This call had some different questions, including stress and pregnancy, and trying not to coddle and pamper children. They were good questions to get you thinking about what to do in those same situations.
This call was great. We had some nice questions, although on the last one, we weren't able to record the comments made by the person who asked the question. But, other than that, the call was wonderful.
Also, we have created a new facebook group specifically for our support group members! Request membership to the group here and post all your thoughts and questions to each other.https://www.facebook.com/groups/tsgsupport/
Friday's call had some very new questions that were very enlightening and very good to ponder on. These are the questions:
- My oldest child will be 16 next month. He has always had oppositional behavior since he was 4. t seems we have always had a hard time with this negative attention seeking behavior which brings in discord during times we most want to feel unity and the spirit in our home. He also told us he does not believe in Christ and he is Atheist, that his testimony of Atheism is just a strong as our testimony of Christ. He is beyond spiritual feelings and can logic and reason everything to his side. My fear is that my other 4 children will be affected by this in a detrimental way.
- We have an 18 year old son (senior in high school - homeschooled) who is addicted to social media. What should we do exactly?
- My daughter has so many papers, etc, that she hoards in her room. You told me a couple of weeks ago to help her get rid of stuff, but evey time I go in there, I get overwhelmed. She likes to go through and keep the things of her late mother in her room. Suggestions?
- Why is it so important to seek to understand?
- What do I do if my child earns a chre in the middle of school time?
- I've just had some major losses in my family and my children are extremely clingy. What do I do about that?
- I have heard you say before that someone can develop a habit of being depressed. How does someone fall into this pattern?
Again, NO CALL on the 28th.
Valentine's Day is a day with a fun tradition for us. We make breakfast in bed. It just so happened to be on a Friday this year. So, as usual, I did this last week's Support group call. The questions asked for the call were good. A couple were a review of lasat week, but we were able to get some new insight on them and expound on them even better.
