Homeschooling – Helping oldest Daughter with patience & stay in her Role.

(My Wife) Dear Nicholeen, We have been homeschooling for 4 wonderful weeks and I can tell I am going to love it, although right now it has times when it feels exhausting and overwhelming, it just feels so right. For now, I am working to improve the tone in our home, starting with mine. I had blessing from the podcast with DD about Freedom from Emotional bondage. The question I have is about my nearly 12-year-old daughter. She is an incredibly talented, assertive, & visionary person, she is used to being at school & although the school had problems & she was frustrated lots there because she wasn’t learning to her potential; Now she is also feeling frustrated at our homeschool. She is a planner & if her plans don’t work out, she can get very upset. She has so many wonderful qualities & natural gifts, she is a yellow/red, Big picture orientated, Road maker, Talker, & her love language is Quality time. Just about all opposite qualities than me, I am working to change myself to become more of the qualities I need & am trying to help her, but what I need to find is a balance with helping her to use the qualities that God has given her to their full potential & help her to stay in her role. She is not used to being unselfish or patient in the classroom. She is a lot calmer if I allow her to plan our day at the beginning, but then if the plan fails because of all the little ones needing help and things just actually never go as planned, so far in our homeschool; she gets really frustrated. I am not good at making decisions fast or easily & this is another thing that frustrates her, and she will often try to start a power struggle at that point, which I will not enter into. But it tends to tear down the atmosphere & change our learning environment into a tense environment. We do Rule of 3 & she earns major maintenances every other day; she has been handling that so well even though she has not been able to get a lot of schooling done yet, which I know frustrates her (she loves learning). Do you have any helpful suggestions as to how I can help my daughter to become a happy, patient learner & fulfil the role God has for her in our home? She is my eldest daughter with 5 younger siblings, so she is used to being responsible & she is so responsible, but just so impatient. I know I need to have a parent counselling session with her which I haven’t gotten to yet, but I think just typing this question has helped me analyze a few things. Thank you, Christiana.