Training a horse is much like training a child. Treat a horse as if it were your friend, they become overly confident and take control, leaving you at your wit’s end as you try to regain control of them. It is the same with children. If the parental authority in the home is not respected or observed, children become bold, manipulative, full of rage, and entitled.
As children grow, they begin to branch out. With this comes times when they canbecome manipulative and demanding. A mother asked me a question about her daughter who had become very manipulative and demanding. Every time the mother started a correction, the little girl would put her hands over her ears and shout “Stop it!” or she would yell back at her mother. This little girli had gotten into the habit of power struggling and, in a sense, raging. And then, once she gets going, this mother’s other children would catch the bug and start up themselves, making the whole situation worse.
How do you stop this cycle? What would be inside of you that would make your children power struggle with you? How can you change yourself to make the situation better?
If your children begin raging and become violent, there is a possibility that you might have to do a soft hold on them. I’ve had multiple parents come up to me and tell me that they feel like an aweful parent if they do the soft hold. I understand where they’re coming from. However, it is in the child’s best interest to hold them firmly so that they can calm down and stop hurting people or property. Using the soft hold is you helping them calm down and stay safe.
The most important thing you can do with your children isbe consistent.There are phases where children will test you and then suddenly they’ll “fall off the wagon.” Your home hasn’t changed. They’re just testing you.Have love in your heart for them,especially as you correct them.
Don’t be bothered by your children.This is so important. If you find your children are beginning to botheryou, take a moment and go calm yourself and find love for them in your heart. Make sure that this love shows in your outward appearance as well.
Have a positive consequencefor the first little while for abstinence from bad behavior. Have a treat jar or positive reward system for your children. They need to see that there is a positive side to self-government. Remind your children about these incentives as you are correcting them.